8. "Reconnoitre 2001-2002 Pt.3. - Chiangrai" by Papa-san Thomas


"Motor Bike Romps - Northern Thailand"

Note - This is a continuation of Part.2. (See Stories Thai - Index)

Disclaimer - Not much sex talk in this story. So far I have been disinclined to tell personal sex stories, but don’t totally count that out . One day I just might write about personal sexperiences. Bump and grind stuff : )



As you know, if you read Part.2. of this story , I did some of my Chiangmai reconnoitres on a hired 100cc Honda Dream motorbike from Mr Mechanic in Soi .5. Moonmuang Rd. That’s the first lane past JJ Bakery , about 150 metres or more up from JJ. Soi .5 is the lane that Kafe Restaurant is situated on. You’ll see some of Mr Mechanics bikes displayed at the corner of Soi.5 and Moon Muang Road. The Soi is clearly marked. Whilst most other folk were charging Baht 150 per day, Mr Mech charged me 100 per day. No need to surrender your Passport, Mr M will accept as security , your valid International return air ticket in lieu. You need your Passport from time to time but not your International ticket , until you leave Thailand. So surrendering the ticket is more convenient. Check the bike before taking off - brakes, tread on tyres, pressure , lights. Take a helmet with wind visor and use it. Finally, ask for a calling card , you might need to contact the Hirer from another town, away from Chiangmai. For example, you might want to extend your hire of the bike without actually returning to Chiangmai.

After signing the hire contract and within 1/2 hours of originally leaving Mr Mech's Shop , without a helmet (back in my hotel room , as no one seemed to be wearing them within the city limits ) , I along with other riders , was stopped at a very public place in Moon Muang Road. You sweep around the bend and voila ! there is the road block, lots of police stopping lots of motorcyclists who are not wearing helmets.

A girl was just before me and a young Thai guy just after me. The cop spoke to the young thai guy first and whilst he was prattling away in the Thai language I observed the young guy slip a 100 Baht note under the pad of tickets the cop was holding . So no ticket was issued and the young fellow was on his way. Then the cop turned to me and said the fine was Baht 500. I said in the Thai language - too expensive and made a counter offer of 100 in the Thai language. He cottoned on to the fact that I was no mug punter and said in Thai, "100 right now". Yes, says I , and handed him 100 Baht and on my way I went. Noticed that he had quite a lot of 100 Baht notes sticking out from under his pad for all to see. Anyone passing by could see the money being handed over to the cops and the offendors driving off. Very blatant. So lads, that was one days motorbike hire (100 Baht) down the drain. Back to my Roon Ruang Hotel room to get the helmet : ) I had not hired the bike to ride around Chiangmai , even so, as you know (Part.2.) , I did some whoring touring around Chiangmai on the Honda Dream, mixed in with Samlor (pushbike taxi) whore tours .


So, when it was time to have a break from ‘Mai I motored out along Highway 118 with my "Thailand North B&B Map" and a small carry on back pack, heading for Chiangrai.

Left my next to useless and full suitcase behind at Roon Ruang for safe keeping during my absence. Some distance out of Mai and winding through the hills I got one hell of a shock when I saw my gas/petrol needle was sitting on empty. How did that happen ? Is the gauge faulty or should I have filled up whilst in Chiangmai. I did have a look at the petrol gauge whilst passing a gasoline station in Chiangmai and thought I had enough to the next gas station out of town. Normally there are adequate numbers of gas stations along the way, but not this time. So on getting to the top of a peak I switched off the engine and rolled down the other side of the Mountain in neutral. Not a safe thing to do, but I wanted as many kilometres as possible in the hope that a gasoline station would present itself any time soon, although that was unlikely in the midst of a deserted Mountain Range.

Down, down the winding mountain road I glided silently thinking my number was up, ie, no juice and no petrol station. Couldn’t believe I had let myself get into such a predicament. Two thirds the way down the mountain slope I spied some Thais under a tree. And when I got closer my hopes were raised when I saw they had a Utility which might come in handy, if I could ’sweet talk’ my way into getting them to help me. They watched with surprise as this farang came silently slithering down the steep mountain , run off the side of the road and pull up under picnic tree right next to them. Brakes were working ! but not petrol gauge ? With my limited Thai I told them I was out of gasoline. Obvious : ) The leader of the group said , that when they had finished eating they will give me a lift to the next gasoline station. Wow, Angels from Heaven.

They ate up quickly (not at my request mind you) and the three labourers with the leader of the group and owner of the Ute , helped me lift the bike up onto the back of the vehicle where all four of us held it all the way to the next gasoline station, and boy it was a long, long way to that station. So I would have been in a real fix if it wasn’t for the kind hearted picnickers. I can hear someone saying, "alright, alright, where is the exciting part" ? : ) That was exciting enough for me, rolling down a steep incline in the middle of nowhere out of gas/petrol.

At the gas station, we offloaded the Honda Dream from the Utility and then I reached into my bag and pulled out three hundred baht to the owner/driver and told him to buy some gasoline for himself too. No, no , he would not accept any money (loss of face : ). So , I reached into my bag once again and pulled out two cute little souvenir pins I had bought in my home country and gave one each to his little daughters who thought they were just wonderful. Smiles all around, I shook hands with the owner/driver and the workers and wheeled the bike up to the gas pump, filled it up and enquired with the young female gas attendants , how much further to Chiangrai AND how much further to the next gas station ! : )

So up and away, second sector of my trip , to Chiangrai. Arrived in due course at my favourite place of abode , Chiangrai. Manager and wife remembered me from my many previous visits, calling me by my first name on sighting me! Not bad considering they have hundreds, pos thousands of guests each year and I hadn’t been anywhere near the place for four (4) years ! Of course, prior to pulling up at their ‘Ge How’ (Guest House, pronounced the exaggerated Thai way) I had looked up my Address Book and refreshed my memory on the Managers name : ) Cheating !

So, down to the nitty gritty. A nice Potato and a nice Tomato Salad (both separate orders and eaten together) at one of the tables at Bier Stube Restaurant , located outside and just above footpath level. Washed down with a big bottle or two of Klosters Beer. Same evening meal in the same spot just about every day I was in Chiangrai. Morning time I have a very big buffet breakfast at Wiang Inn Hotel just down from Bier Stube (Phahlolyothin Rd/Main tourist drag). Costs Baht 177 and is even better in my opinion than the Buffet Breakfast at Nana Hotel Bangkok. So I eat only twice a day, both on the road (overseas) and at home. What has this got to do with whoring ? Not much, but I thought it might be worth mentioning for those who will head to Chiangrai for a little eats , reconnoitre and a naughty or two.

Chiangrai sex scene - Here is a brief insight of the place in respect of nocturnal activities:

After devouring the tomato and potato salads, washed down with Klosters , I hopped on my motorcycle and headed around the corner to the ‘Wat Whore House‘, only 150 metres away. I nick named the whore house Wat cause it is right next to a large Temple/Wat. Imagine a Holy Temple with a whore house very close by. This whore house has survived the government purges, most probably cause it has connections to high authority. Added to that, I suspect it caters for influential Thais. It certainly is not a cheapy , and consequently I have not taken a whole lot of ladies from it, but if I want to see what is the best ‘house ladies’ on offer in Chiangrai nowadays , I go to the "Wat Whore House". What, what, what ? - yes Wat : )

So, from Bier Stube looking back ( North ) towards Wiang Inn, you take the first corner to your left , go down that side street and you come to a T. Intersection. Right in front of you is the entrance to the Wat/Temple. Don’t go inside the temple : ) turn left and then turn first right into an alleyway. Six houses down on your right is the whore house. The familiar pink flourescent light is usually on , inside the property itself, not outside as was the case in days of old. Just hover around the sixth house, no doubt someone will come towards you and say ‘want lady’, ‘want lady’. Step inside. About 30 or more chicks will be lined up straight in front of you. They are the bargain basement girls, going at a discount price of say 1,500 to 2000 all night. To your right will be four to six super stars. Young ladies fresh in the trade (fresh flesh). Some of them could be under age , so be careful. I spotted a super bargain basement lady right in front of me , but told the papa-san I would call back later. Twas keen to go to Sinambin Road home to 30/40 Fish Ponds in days of yore, but not today. The government sex drives have whittled down the houses in this street to 4/6.

From Wat Whore House , if you backtrack to Yedyod (spelled differently on dif. Maps) where you entered the lane in the first place , and turn right, go to the next T intersection with Sathan Phayaban Road one hundred metres or so down , and turn right into that road (S P Road ), then turn left at the first intersection , and then you are in Sinambin Road. Go some distance (3/400 metres ?) up Sinambin until you come to some houses on the right hand side with shops in front of them and houses with high steel gates. Just loiter around there and someone will no doubt approach you - ‘want lady’ : ). Also on the left there is a little laneway with one or two more ‘houses’. All a bit grotty and native style. I checked them all out. One had about 15/20 girls, others had anything from 6 to 10 girls in all . Make sure they are of age.

By far, the best way to check out whore houses is with the Samlor (push bike taxi) drivers. Get an older guy, they know all the spots. Most are old anyway. But don’t get a young guy. Hire a samlor on an hourly basis. Tell him "lady house" (or ‘barn poo ying sow’) 50 baht per hour . He will jump at it thinking he is going to get a whore house commission in addition to the 50Baht. One advantage if you have your own motorbike - no taxi/samlor commission : ) Do not use tuk tuk taxi drivers - shades of Bangkok. They can be cheeky , pushy and expensive. If the samlor rider (push bike taxi) you get is all of that and more , at least he executes in a nice way.

So, I backtracked from Sinambin Road to the Wat house and took the pretty bargain basement girl for Baht 2000 all night. Not cheap for that part of the world, but I was randy and hadn’t seen anything like her , except for the 'Movie Star' back in Chiangmai. She proved to be a good investment and posed for photo’s the next morning, but I feel uncomfortable about placing her shots on the Internet. Think she would not approve. I went back on other nights to ‘barfine’ her again, at an even further discounted rate hopefully , but she was nowhere to be seen. Possibly others think she is cute too , and were bar fining her ? Such is the life of a whorist : )

I could talk about other nocturnal activities in this town, but this story will never finish, so I will now tell you about my one day trip to Mae Sai, further north on the Burmese border. I took off in search of the Holy Grail - Hairless Pussy. Had fond memories of earlier years when I was doggy doggying (entering vagina from the back with the arse high in the air , you know what I mean : ) a Burmese lady in a whore house located right alongside the river which divides Thailand and Burma ( nowadays called Menyamar/Myanmar or something like that). Always find it difficult to remember Burma’s new name). Burmese are famous for their hairless pussies. "Burma lady, no hair" the Thais will say. Thai’s love hairless pussies. Most probably a case of the grass is greener on the other side, ie, want what they could not normally get. Well this lady that I banged doggy doggy fashion in her mud floor room had a wonderful round curvaceous body and smiled all the way to the bank. That is, I promised her a tip for extra service, and extra service she gave with gusto. I can see her lovely curvaceous body now, even though it is years since I had her. So, it was a case of returning to the scene of my previous crime , in an attempt to find another lovely body and hairless pussy with ‘extra service’, thrown in.

So up and away I went towards Mae Sai on my trusty Honda Dream. Cruised at 80/85 kph on the flat terrain. Sure enough , about 50 km’s out from Mae Sai my back tyre blew out. Wobble, wobble, lucky I was not bucked off the bike. Not panicking and thus not jamming on the brakes quickly and severely , saved the day. I guided the wild horse to a stop. So, I tried my luck at waving down passing vehicles. The first vehicle stopped about 75 metres from me and did not reverse back so I ran the 75 metres to the driver, explained my situation , but he indicated with his fingers it was not far up on the left side to a bike repair shop. I indicated, how about me putting my bike on the back of his utility , but he declined and took off. So back to the bike and I pushed and pushed it towards the imaginary bike repair shop. Stopped from time to time , for a breather, then off again towards a native looking house on the side of the road in the distance. Must be , where the guy repairs punctures ,thought I. After 15/20 minutes of this I became tired and weary of pushing the bike ’cause that distant house didn’t look like getting any closer. Was it a 'mirage' ? . Motorbikes are heavy things especially when one of the tyres is punctured.

Then an empty Songthaew (Public Utility Taxi) passed by and I waved frantically at the driver who stopped and reversed back to me. "How much me and the bike to Mae Sai", I enquired. One hundred baht was the answer, so on the back with the bike and to Mae Sai we headed. Kept an eye out for the place on the left that was supposed to fix punctures - nothing sighted. Sweet and sour Thailand. The guy I first stopped was the sour type. Doesn't like falangs. So why did he stop in the first place ? Strange.

On arrival in Mae Sai the Songthaew driver was going to drop me in the main street , just before the bridge that goes over the river to Burma/Myanmar. I explained to him, "tyre repair shop", not in the middle of nowhere , and so he took me to a little repair shop on the side of the river. Two young kids were working on another bike when I arrived . They dropped everything and started working on my bike straight away. There was a native style karaoke right next to the bike repair shop and it was open , so I ordered a large Kloster and three glasses. Within a short time the two young lads and I skolled two large bottles between us. The teenage mechanic put a new tube on and adjusted the brakes , all for Baht 100 (U$2-20) , which included a Baht 20 tip. Incredibly cheap, eh.

It was now coming on dark , so I had a meal at Wang Thong Hotel - which is in a laneway off Phaholyothin Road . Coming from South (Chiangrai) and heading up Phaholyothin Road (Main Street/Road) its in a laneway off the right . It’s the second last lane/street/road on the right before the river. Wang Thong is the biggest Hotel in Mae Sai and notable for its Buffet meals and very pretty waitresses. After completing a buffet and washing down such with my usual Klosters , it was time to go down memory lane and check out the ‘Burma Lady’. It had been sometime since I had checked out the little native style ‘lady houses’ along the river road and surrounds. I’ve got a pretty good visual memory and so went up and down the familiar streets on my motorbike , only to find about 80% of the twelve or so houses had disappeared , including the one that housed the ’doggy doggy’ girl. Most probably a combination of attrition and government policies towards the sex industry.

I only found about five Lady Houses in total - three of which I entered for assessment purposes. The other two seemed to be ‘inactive’ at the time of my call and thus I did not enter them. Possibly they were Thai only establishments and thus they did not want to bring out the girls and so seemed ‘inactive‘. "Big Dick Thomas, again , no way " (joking).

If you want to find these river side Lady Houses I suggest you take a motorbike taxi in the main Phaholyothin Street and tell the guy ‘lady house river’ or ‘barn pooying sow river’. This is the quickest way of locating them. Trying to give you written instructions would be unsatisfactory cause there doesnt seem to be street signs in this town (maybe I was not observant enough to see them , or obscured somewhere ? ) and thus I can not give you any street names. Briefly, if you were coming from South (Chiangrai direction) and walking along Phaholyothin Street (main street) Mae Sai , keep walking until you are on the right hand side of the bridge and the river road. Beyond the river road is of course the river that divides Mae Sai from Burma. Once on the river road turn right ( right hand side of the bridge) and walk down a 150 metres or so and keep a keen eye open to your left. An unusually high steel gate can be a sign ,or a girl standing out the front of a property. There is a caged shrine at the intersection near where the three houses are located. The house that was particularly homely was the one closest to the caged Shrine, where I scoffed down on this particular reconnoitre a couple of large bottles of Chang (Elephant) beer.

I realised then it was about 9pm and I had to get home to Chiangrai and report my findings to the newbie Sri Lankan whorist staying at my Guest House. Roared along the highway at 90 kph , in the dark , half pissed , forgetful of the blow out I’d had on the way up. Left a note under the newbies door to the effect I had something different for him - Mae Sai Lady Houses. Next morning newbie and I met at the Wiang Inn Hotel for Buffet Breakfast and then off to Mae Sai , on a bus this time. I’d had enough ’mishaps’ with the motorbike and didn’t want to tempt fate anymore. On arrival at Mae Sai we checked in to the Daw Guest House at Baht 160 a night. Ladies no problem. Alternatively you could try Tip Sukon Guest House on the opposite corner to Daw , at the varying prices of 2/3/400 Baht per room, but I am not sure if they allow ladies overnight. After a meal at Wang Thong Hotel where my newbie friend posed for a photo with an attractive waitress , we headed for the lady houses. Showed ‘newbie’ the least interesting house first, then the next most interesting one with a particularly attractive young lady. The photo below does not do justice to her , but I'll include it anyway.


This young lady was too full of herself and tried unsuccessfully to get my newbie friend into a short time room , but he wanted to see the ‘friendly’ place before he made up his mind. Ok, so we walked across the road and past the caged shrine to the friendly lady house on the left. About eight girls in residence. It’s a genuine 'normal' looking house and the ladies sat around the large round tables and drank beer with us. Newbie said, "that’s not a bad one coming down the stairway" (behind me). I turned around , Mmmm not bad at all thought I , so I quickly ‘barfined’ (booked her). Lesson .1. to newbie : if you see something good , don’t hesitate , grab it. So newbie took another lady who was doting over him. Into the short time rooms we went and did the deed with our respective partners. Mine obliged with a lovely blow job. Newbie was first back to the tables and was waiting for me with a Beer Chang when I returned from my ST room. He said, "you got the better one". I said, "yeh I did not notice her until you pointed her out to me, thanks pal". The old fox (yours truly) teaches the young fox a basic trick : when in the company of other 'mongers - pounce !.

From there we went on the back of two seperate motorbike taxis out of town to what I call a Flower Show, where they have a Revue , and you buy garlands for the singers etc. Pretty girls there, but expensive to take out I’d say. Didnt ask their take out price, bought them ladies drinks, garlands and made a big man of myself to the tune of a thousand baht , twice what I had paid for a naughty and blow job (incl. ST room) back at the friendly lady house and hour or so before. Waste of money. At my suggestion , newbie made a date with one of the singers for the next day. Much cheaper that way.

We returned to Daw Guest House around midnight, but newbie had more dirty water to get rid of and backtracked to the friendly lady house on his own. Next morning he told me he brought 'my' (everyones , in reality : ) chick back to Daw and banged her all night in the room next to me. Little did he know (?) I had plans of returning and having the same girl again. Newbie had learnt one thing - get in before the ‘old fox’.

Myself , not liking seconds , and knowing the limits of Mae Sai, I decided to return to Chiangrai and superior lodgings. Newbie decided to stay a couple more nights in Mae Sai and take more ladies from the same lady house. I did not see him again cause he travelled direct from Mae Sai to Bangkok , where he had to rendezvous with a sweetie. Even so , receive Emails from him to this day : )

Back at Chiangrai I decided to return the motorbike and took off further South to Chiangmai , keeping my room and thus leaving most of belongings in Rai. Didn’t bother to bring my road maps with me and through taking a different exit this time from Rai itself , I managed to get on the wrong highway , and be on the receiving end of misinformation from Hill Tribes people etc all along the way (no English language road signs) and thus took seven hours to eventually , wind my way through the mountains and to Chiangmai, arriving cooked red as a lobster (sunburnt). On this trip not much luck with motorbikes. Checked my motorbike in, checked out of Roon Ruang Hotel and with suitcase in hand, hopped on a bus to Chiangrai to rendezvous with a Thai 'contact/agent I had met via the newbie friend. Prospects of non whore cuties via this Thai 'Agent' were too good to resist.

Another story : ) 


9. "Reconnoitre 2001-2002 Pt.4. - Chiangrai" by Papa-san

Return to Stories Thai Index for Part . 4. 


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