4. "Samlor Whore Tour" 


Time frame for this story is 1986. Whoa ! time warp : )

Thailand being my second stop on a one year whore tour around the world. I’d had a good time in Chiangmai, gormadizing myself on the ladies of the night, going hither and thither, massage parlours, disco’s, go-go’s, lady houses and more.

Then I went to Chiangrai out of curiosity. People said not to go , it would be a waste of time, but I never found it a waste of time, in fact it became my favourite spot in the whole of Thailand because the girls were more smiley, natural and friendly. In other words , less like whores , an important element for me.

At the time, the only way to get around Rai , as I call it, was either by samlor , mini-bus or a rent-a-bike (motorbike). On this occasion I did not have a motorbike, so samlor it was. For those who do not know, a samlor is a pushbike with a small carriage behind it. A "pushbike taxi". Two western adults cannot fit in a samlor , not comfortably anyway. A medium sized western man and a typically petite thai girl, yes. A thai man rides the bike with you the passenger , sitting in the back. Your staring right at his backside only a half a metre away. Something that took me a bit of getting used to. But when you have no motorbike, it was at the time , the only way to go around in Rai. Once I got used to the proximity of the riders backside to my nose I got to like samlors . They are silent and fuel efficient : ) and part of Thailands traditions. Imagine in times of yore , a samlor would be the only way to get around, including whoring touring.

So, I decided on a trip down memory lane, not mine, but nevertheless - a time-warp, to be sure. I got this idea sipping Klosters on a footpath restaurant. An average ride would cost about 1 baht, so 50baht was quite good, especially when the rider would most probably get a kickback from the whorehouse of my choice. I knew enough Thai for the rider to understand me. He had a huge grin when I told him I wanted to do a survey of all the lady houses in Rai and might need one or two hours. In those days you couldn’t survey all the whore houses in one or two hours cause there were reputedly in excess of one thousand whores in residence, servicing a town of what looked like about ten thousand people. In those days , Rai was largely neglected by tourists and whorists. So, who was poking 1000 whores ? Not me, that’s for sure, try as hard as I did. It seems Rai was a wholesaler (of ladies) to places like Chiangmai to the south and Bangkok and other places even further south. Even as far away as Hatyai , near the Malaysian border. Thai’s in Bangkok prefer the light skinned, Chinese looking girls from the North and the Rai region was most probably the biggest recruiting ground for such.

How come I knew about it (Rai and its potential) and others didn’t ? Curiosity I suppose. Seek and ye shall find. Even so, the girls of Rai are not everyones piece of cake. They are not westernised, know next to nil of the English language and do not normally come at blow jobs or the like. However, their advantages far outweigh their disadvantages. My opinion of course. But don’t go there expecting switched on Bangkok type of girls ’smoking’ (bj) your little head off : )

So, off we went , local map in hand. I was going to mark down all the whore houses, give them numbers and ratings for future reference. Sinambin Road (Airport Road) was the big whore house road at that time. The road led to the tiny little airport, which has since been re-located and upgraded to International standards which lead to more tourists and whorists and thus more competition for the ladies.

Anyway, right now we are back in the mid nineteen eightees and Im entering the first of forty to fifty or more whore houses, shoulder to shoulder. A sight to behold ! They were all fishponds. Little brown buttoned (eye) girls sitting on long wooden planks like pigeons, about to be cooked for dinner. There were always Thai youth’s at these places. Some of them just went there to drink beer and imagine themselves in bed with the prettiest ones. They would always smile at me, the only foreigner in Sinambin Road, and were keen to know which one I thought was the prettiest. I’d drink a beer or two and grin and giggle along with them. No problems , if I took the prettiest girl, they would actually pat me on the back for making a good choice.

Right next to the fish pond were a row of horse stalls, only much smaller than horse stalls. Their doors were sometimes left open, flapping in the breeze and you could see inside the tiny room, as you passed by , heading for the ‘pond’, some having only earth for a floor. It was inside these little dog boxes that the Thai boys screwed the girls. No worries, I have had sex in the same style of dog box on more than one occasion in Rai and further north in Mae Sai too. I must admit I was filled with a little bit of sadness and it affected my sex when I saw the cramped and poor conditions these girls lived in. But most of them were cheery, pointing to movie stars pasted on the walls etc. Of course, I gave them a nice tip 100baht, which was a hundred per cent on top of the short time price. When the Thai boys screwed them ,their cut was only 25baht. So, reflecting back, they were depressing conditions and yet for sure, they still exist to some extent today.

Getting back to my Samlor whore tour. Naturally, it was aborted around six whore houses and 200 whores down the line. After checking out about two hundred fish in the six ponds I came across a cracker with a beautiful smile. Normally these provincial girls are a bit timid and shy but this one was very pretty and couldn’t stop smiling at me , so I snapped her up. The boys present grinned their approval. "Soo-ay mahk" (very pretty), they said. But mark my words , some of them will keep clear of that girl in the future as they will be worried I bored a great big hole inside her : ).

It was cheap to have the girls on the premises but expensive to take them away because one pretty girl can collect up to 20/30 customers in one night if she stays on the premises. The cheapest all night/long time I ever got was 600baht. Samlor driver maybe got a hundred of that. So, into the samlor and off to my guest house with my cute little Maiden . All the Rai residents, who were up and about ,could clearly see my choice for the night. Being more traditional in Rai, the general residents did not stare at us as we passed ever so silently and quickly by. Quickly , cause I think the Samlor rider wanted to backtrack and pick up his commission : )

So, that’s a little insight into my moonlighting as a whorist tourist in Chiangrai. Fond memories of that town. Not every ones cup of tea. You’ve got to find your own favourite spots , no one can find them for you.

PS: The Aids panic set in with the Thai Government around this time, and next time I returned to Rai, some years later , the whore scene had been decimated, with something like only 5 to 10% of whore houses that I knew , left standing and operational. There is another story to tell you as to what happened to the Burmese girls working in those Rai whore houses when the Government Aids Raids began. Stay tuned.


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