Big Ben has struck 











Here we go once again.

Direct from d' Front .... Thailand. Not sure if I will get to Philippines this time. In the Phils I have a habit of sitting at a bar with an old friend , and resident of Cebu , for hours on end drinking lots of beer. Not what we go overseas for , eh ?

But the sex for me in Thailand is a bit tame. Wild for others , tame for me. So , I still might dash across to Phils to have a beer/boink or two : )

Saun is with me , but as usual wishes to stay in the background.


Daily Diary



This page grow


No sleep.

Night Owl Thommo .... at your service.




Do not expect lots of bedroom babe pics , as I dont have the money for the babes anymore. Also when you've been whoring for 32yrs like me , one more doesnt make all that much difference , unless she is 'special'. Regular LON's dont turn me on , even if they are beautiful. It's their mentality/attitude that bothers me.

Ageing Mongers end up as 'Flies on the Wall' : )


There's lots of you guys out there same as me ... as the years tick by we get fussier and fussier , where it gets to the point we dont even get a fuck. Actually its getting to the stage where "I don't give a fuck" : ) So , expect more 'Fly on the Wall' stuff as in previous FFF's.

Snoopy , my new travel companion.


First assignment is finding Snoopy , my discreet mini camera. Saw him last time at bangkok domestic airport but budget restrictions precluded me from buying then. Since that visit have located a couple of suitable bangkok camera outlets on the Internet , eg ground floor MBK. Providing they give me all the accessories and warranty , I will buy , and have some fun (stolen pics : )


Enough of the disclaimers , here is the 'meat'.

Following advice from Stealth Consultancies , I departed this time via a different route and airline , and arrived at a different airport. Usually I arrive in Manila then backtrack to Bangkok later on. Not this time. Main reason ... I know Snoopy is in Bangkok but not in Manila. More wealth in Thailand , hence more up to date technology such as Snoopy.

Actually the airline I travelled on is more likely to be a terrorist target than any other I can imagine. That added to the excitement of the flight. Excitement has been lacking back home at the Clock Tower , so a good start to FFF4.

New Bangkok airport not yet open , so still the old and yet more than satisfactory Don Muang Airport. Arrived late in the night , everything as usual went smoothly. Whilst at the airport , thoughts of dropping my bags at Hotel and heading for Big Dog Bar for 'observations'.

Go to airport taxi booth and as usual ticket lady goes to give taxi driver the whole ticket minus her portion. I say "my part" , she tears off and gives me my part of the ticket in front of taxi driver. TD (taxi driver) not happy , cause I have my copy = can report him if monkey business , plus he heard me say 'thank you' in thai language = this passenger (me) no mug punter = can not rip him off , and/or no big tip. He doesnt open door , pretend to take bags or anything , he just heads for his drivers seat. I throw my two bags plus laptop bag onto back seats and prop in the back. TD has glum look on his face , takes off using meter , good boy. I say to him : "you happy" , he says "happy what" , in other words .... 'happy for what reason' , ie , why should I (TD) be happy. Silence all the way from airport to my "Safe Haven". Gotta give him credit , he was quick and took a new and novel short cut through a hotel underground car park into my Soi. Neat. Meter said Baht145. I had already given him the Bt60 for tolls , so gave him Baht 220 = Bt75 tip for getting me to destination quickly and safely. Still glum , no smile , not one single word. Out of the taxi , no help with bags. I am thinking ... that guy is a closed book , he is going nowhere in life.

Dropped my bags at SF (Safe Haven) , grabbed my conventional digital camera (not Snoopy) and off to Soi Zero Beer Bars at 12.35pm in the night. In twentyfive mins time its 1am and bars will close. Soi Zero was really 'zero' , sad , no one around 2/3 girls in a bar no customers , say four customers in the 10 bars that were still open. Out of there , to Big Dog down the road , 5 mins walk away. Up the steps to Dog , my quick eagle eyes check out all the waitresses as I walk through , out of Big Dog and down the steps other side. Special bar girls had been bar fined , only average ones left. Outside Big Dog I prop and look at baby elephant parked at entrance to NEP. Handler tells me elephant 4yrs old and from Surin. He tries a timid little sales pitch for sugar cane. I give him Bt20 cash for pic. Scrounging for change , I could see he had over Bt700 in his pocket from sugar cane sales. Dont think I was too popular with baby elephant. He can eat sugar cane but not the Baht note I gave his handler : )

Little do the LON's know , they are under close scrutiny from this point on. Their offers of free sex for a favourable rating on will not deter me from being my usual frank self : )

To entrance of Nana Disco and confirm that after the Bt400 entrance and free drink , a beer is Bt160. Not many girls around disco or nearby bar. Everything quiet. To Golden Bar , prop and observe young 7 year old girls close by entrance to parking lot. They shuffle up to giant falangs throw their arms around them and will not go away until falang gives them something. Amazing how many falangs give these little mosquito's Baht20 just to get rid of them. Reckon these little girls are earning Baht500 or more per night. On a monthly basis they are making more than 75% of the hookers hanging around the same Nana parking lot.

Had a beer at Golden Bar , then met falang. He's been staying in Thailand for six months and has learnt some of the language. Girls gravitate towards him cause he is 24yrs old ... fresh meat : ) We stayed at Golden Bar until 3.30am (beer street sellers kept us supplied) , had lots of conversations with lots of girls trying to seduce young guy and got lots of knock backs for pics. Thais and camera's just dont get along. By the time I returned home and got to bed it was 4.30am. Just imagine , I got up 5.30am back home previous day , been on the go till 4.30am the following day .. now. Not bad for an ageing monger.


Woke up 7am , my first day in Thailand = two and half hours sleep only. To Nana Buffet , but too early for Kodak processing shop , so back to room have another two hours nap and then return to Kodak. Got 12 copies of pics I took night before mostly dogs , except for above ones which fall in the 'average' category. Pretty ones refused to have pic taken. One actually said "website , he put on website". Amazed at her sophistication and knowledge. Cunning lot these Thais. She was spot on/correct .. I would have put her on this page : )

Anyway , which of the two above would you take ... 'natural' , happy go lucky gal on left , or long legged schemer on right ? PS : Long legs was a girl (not katoey).

Typed the above out. Programme now : MBK Shopping Mall for Snoopy , Lumpinhi Park for 'shadowy' freelance scene , Golden Bar to hand out pics of girls and then who knows what. By that time , the beers will have kicked in and anything can happen. Fun , fun its gotta be fun or forget it : )

Time to put this online.




So , my memory is terrible. Reason , I drank too much beer. Memory bank destroyed : )

For sure went to MBK and to basement photo' shop recommended on Internet. Only had red Snoopy , "my chawp" (not like) , so upstairs to where I saw Snoopy on previous trip. They've got it , plus all the accessories and good price. I bought it , in 3 mins flat. Manager took some pics without flash , good quality. It's a low light specialist , ISO1600. Covert camera , stealthy : ) Also , no sensor light , no light of any kind shows. When you take the pic no light comes on = discreet. Subject of pic doesnt know she is being photographed , apart from the fact mini camera is pointing in her direction. No flash , no sign of any light/action. Very small , light and discreet m.o (modus operandi) ..... that's whats wanted.

Now , you wouldnt believe it but I am busy. Cant write about everything , mostly mundane stuff nothing to do with whoring , but I am fully occupied , so do not want to grapple with Snoopy right now. Put it away in travel bag and might try and go through user manual when in Chiangrai. Thinking of buying a second 'backup' Snoopy , just in case first one is stolen/lost , especially in crime ridden places like Brazil. Trip to Brazil might come up towards end of this year. I asked guy at camera shop how long it takes for him to get second Snoopy in , and he said "one hour". Amazing , wouldnt get that kind of service in my country , they'd say "2/3 days". Thais know how to do business.

Yes , got ticket for Chiangrai. Also received email from Burmese lad who wants to fuck white women. Might be meeting him in Burma few days time. Waiting on his reply. I will coach him about scoring white women and I hope he will become my official 'Agent-Burma' and then score some quality burmese ladies for me. "Mutually friendly/beneficial" .. modus operandi (m.o) Once again I have arrived overseas bearing gifts. Same corny stuff I have been giving out for years. He will be thrilled with what I have got for him. Unique (and cheap). Naturally I will pull out the scissors and cut off the 'made in China' tag/s : )

Think I might have an 'Agent-Bangkok' in the pipe line too. Girl. Relaxed , easy to get along with and a non commercial LON. Saw her again in the night , and she says she will be back again next night. Will see if she is interested in showing me Thai only places , ie , tour guide for Baht500 plus taxi fare home .. 2/3hours should do it. As tour progresses I will see if she can poach me a nice 'take-away' (girl) along the way. Offer her additional Bt500 for a good one. Makes it expensive you say. Yeh , but I get what I want. Not easy for an old falang to secure a nice young non commercial lady by himself. Much better if a Thai gal tries on my behalf. No embarrassment (for me : )

Stayed long time at Big Dog Bar. Nice beer bar girls there. Its a great movie .. sitting next to the rail watching the sea of human activity below. Good observation post. Couple of different katoeys fronted up. See pics below. The gal to the right , by herself , is a katoey (man). Funny that one. First I get waitress at Big Dog to ask her if I can take pic. Katoey says no , very politely and walks off. However she stays at entrance to NEP , five metres from where I am looking for a customer , so I decide to have fun and tell waitress my plan (fun). So get waitress to ask take picture for Bt100 and katoey politely refuses again. Well , I got my waitress to try all kinds of angles with katoey but he/she continued to say no. After about 2/3hrs and just before Big Dog closed he/she came across and told waitress "falang can take pic Baht500". I smiled and said 'pang' (expensive). Five ten mins later katoey returns , still with no customer , smiles and says "OK Bt100" (needs taxi fare home) . The result is pic below , right hand side.

Big Dog is good for katoey action in particular. There was another one who came along and propped in front of me , lifted up her dress , pulled down her pants and showed pussy. Big grin on she/he's face. All this in front of about 50 or more people , but the performance was aimed at me. Bit old and therefore desperate tactics. Another two , see pic below left side , were dressed up as ugly demons , whatever. Most probably better than their natural look anyway. They are more like dragons than demons. One on left is especially inviting , don't you think : )


Big Dog closed at 1am , and so I went across to Golden Bar (G Bar) and met a tall falang guy who has lived nine years in Thailand. Speaks Thai and many other languages fluently. Also met a fellow countryman who thinks he speaks thai but actually speaks shit. Nice guy , but no clues in communicating. When he talks in English he discusses complicated subjects with the Thai girls and the girls just nod 'yes , yes' all the time but havent a clue what he is talking about. I told him this , but he didnt listen and carried on 'talking to himself' ... and the girls carried on nodding "yes , yes" : )

So , drank a lot again and got home late again , but have the nucleus of very interesting nights with prospective 'Agent-Bangkok'. I want to see bangkok nightlife through Thai eyes. That will be interesting. Knowing my luck she might not front , like all the girls I took pics of (not pretty) , got copies processed (about 24 in all) and they didnt front next night to receive them. Unreliable like Flips : ) These girls live a day to day existence and their life is consequently a bit topsy turvy.

So , today I slept in till 12 mid day. Got to Internet late and had trouble uploading = page one online late. Whilst trying to sort out my problems a big guy , and I mean big in a broad sense. Wide shoulders big chest and heavy athletic weight lifter look about him .. comes along and asks me in a pushy/aggressive way how long I am going to be on internet. I told him 30/45mins , he didnt seem happy. Anyway he gets on long distance phone next to me and soon lost his temper and screamed out aloud in Italian ("escolta/er , escolta/er"). I never ever heard a person scream out so loud in public before. It was deafening. Thai Internet Manager asked him not to scream out again. 'Weightlifter' went quiet for a while then screamed out yet again. Another falang raised his voice and told 'weightlifter' to shut up. Not a wise thing to do , considering the circumstances. I thought we would see some action. But nothing happened. Eventually 'weightlifter' finished call , paid and left Internet. I said to Thai Internet Mngr (re weightlifter) : "sorry any girl tonight". Thai replied ... "sorry for any girl (with weightlifter) every night". Good reply.

The funny thing is the little Thais dont care how big a guy is. They fly into the trouble maker falang and within 10 secs there are 5/10 more Thais flailing into falang too. You will not win a fight in Thailand. You might even die , as some carry knives. Its never a one on one fight for long in Thailand. You really get to know how much they like us when something like that happens. Sweet and Sour ..... Thailand. When sour , you don't want to be around : )

Forgot to tell ya , yes did check out Lumphini Park beat last night but I was too early 10.30/10.45pm. Even so , I get the impression it aint great shakes. Hope to cruise past their tonight , say 1am if pos , and confirm if a go-er or not.

Apart from that , everything else was pretty mundane stuff (eg , masturbating in the shower : ) But I will tell ya what happens tonight .. last night in Bangkok for a few days.

Programme : Shower , shave , check hit list I made up back home , write spots into mini notebook , find prospective 'Agent - Bangkok' (Bk) and do a tour. Notebook just in case Bk doesnt have any suggestions. Tomorrow its Chiangrai , then 2/3 days later maybe meet 'Agent-Burma' (Br) in Burma itself.

So what actually happened ? Ate 11pm at Hotels restaurant , among other things .. poached eggs. Didnt have my reading glasses on , reached for pepper shaker , shaked lots of pepper on to eggs , began eating and got this crunch crunch feeling on my teeth. I thought : "the cook has got some broken egg shell in the egg". Ate more , same again , crunch crunch. Is this the Thai way , eating the shell too ? : ) Then waitress comes up and says : "You put sugar on your eggs". I put my glasses on and look at pepper shaker and find its fine brown sugar in a salt shaker ! So my eggs are covered in sugar. Never mind , cant order more , they take too long to cook and cant waste them , so I continued on eating the eggs covered in sugar. First for me , eating eggs doused with sugar. Waitress most probably thought it was just another falang quirk.

Didnt get out of the Hotel until 12 midnight , that's goodbye for some of the places listed for action tonight. Waited at Golden Bar for my potential Agent .. Bk. She did not front until 1.30am and towing a little kid of hers. Too late for whore tour and certainly not with a little 3/5yr old. Got her cell number and told her will contact on return from Chiangrai for Tour Guide duties. Actually more like Whore Guide duties. Havent discussed the terms of engagement yet eg salary etc (wont be much : ) , but will clear that up before she does anything. Misunderstandings can spoil a relationship. I am thinking long term here. An Agent in Bangkok ... I like the sound of that : )

Agent (Bk) takes off carrying tired kid. Within 60 secs I am in taxi and off to Lumphini Park. We did a crawl past all the girls at Lumphini. Not many and not the greatest talent. I think we can forget this one fella's. Will not bother to return there again. Next off to Siam Hotel. Driver misunderstood me and took me around the back where there is a long stretch of girls beside the road. Ten/twenty or more katoeys the rest looked like regular girls. Reckon there was 100 gals 'n katoeys in all. About 30/40 cars bumper to bumper slowly crawling past the girls. Told driver , "no , I want coffee shop". So he then stops outside Siam Hotel. In days gone by there were 30/50 girls in front car park of Siam. This night not one single girl. You can blame the Thaksin government clean up campaign for that. Anyway , think the same girls are around on the back road nowadays. Cars can stop there and have a good look. Before in front of hotel difficult for more than 2/3 cars to stop at any one time. So overall Prime Minister Thaksin has improved the Siam sex scene.

I walk inside Siam , its about 2am. Coffee Shop well catered for , but still only about thirty girls. Just as many guys , all Asian , no falang. Quality of girls so-so , some as good or better outside on the back road. My 'Student' friend from FFF3 is not in attendance. Overall , not inspiring and not worth stopping at C Shop for drinks/food whatever. Out the door I go , catch a taxi to Nana Parking Lot. Taxi driver swings around and down the siam back road again. I counted the girls .. 92 on back road. Driver is playing my favourite music from Laos. Lots of taxi drivers are from Laos. I tell him to turn the volume up , it was good. Stop at Nana and quite a crowd of people in Parking Lot , maybe fifty girls. Quality same as back road. Its now 2.35am and the girls are clawing me , pestering me for this/that. Had enough , back to my room and get some sleep for trip to Chiangrai 4pm same day.

So I only drank half a small bottle of beer in the last 24hrs (G Bar). That should do my health some good. Back in my room , type this out before sleeping. Got some things to do before checking out 12noon for airport : paste field reports onto site and upload ; update computer for viruses ; answer emails ; have brunch (buffet) . Right now 3.30am and to sleep.

Ooops ! Up again 6am .. no rest for the wicked : )




Eventually to Internet Café , no screaming Italian guy this time. Had problems uploading stuff to Internet. Did not succeed. Can not guarantee Diary on time once overseas. Had Buffet at Nana , its so-so , too greasy for me and same food every single day. Alternatives ? Not really , only ‘Safe Haven’ Restaurant. My fussiness sometimes creates problems with food and with the girls : )

Later on to Airport and read Snoopy User Manual. Got so involved reading it , nearly missed my flight. Within 60 mins I was at Chiangrai Airport and then to my favourite Ge How (Guest House). They always remember my name and seem to quite often have my favourite room for me. Shower and off to Ayes Restaurant to eat my usual .. “sweet and sour vegetables”. Then to Big C , the Beer Hall and Miss Spunk , of FFF3 fame.

I find she is not there. I do not enter Beer Hall as I don’t want to drink beer right now. Back to the Night Bazaar and buy three unique $1 gifts to give to Bangkok/Cebu babes. Catch tuk tuk for whore tour , but the guy doesn’t know anything more than me. Confirmed there is only one Lady House in the whole of Chiangrai nowadays. After 15/20 mins of spinning around , I tell Tuk Tuk driver to return me to the Night Bazaar , but he drops me 100mtrs from the place. Why ? He sees his tuk tuk mates and wants to stop and talk to them. I can walk the rest of the way , thinks he.

Before he did this , I had decided to give him Bt100 for what was a Bt70 max trip , but because of his bad attitude right at the end , I gave him Bt60 and walked off. He called out to me “not enough”. I did not turn around , continued to walk slowly and purposefully towards Night Bazaar. If he had run after me , it could have got nasty awfully fast. I would have given him another Baht40 to shut him up and keep his mates away , but not without telling him what I thought of him. This is the first time I can recall such a bad attitude in Chiangrai.

I disappeared into the crowd at Night Bazaar to dissuade him from having second thoughts about coming after me. Did a loop and ended up at Ayes again where I drank two ‘beer sodt’ (draft beer , Chang). Then off to my Ge How , but in a round about way to avoid the local tuk tuk mafia. This turned out a blessing in disguise cause I came across a tiny little cantina with four girls and no customers. Pounced on one girl straight away. None of the girls speak a single word of English. Took pics , bought one ladies drink for Bt60 and a beer for Bt50. My Thai is improving and so I am having no problem communicating with these ladies. Mine (Eagle Eyes) is 20yrs old. I told her I am 19yrs old , brought a smile to her face.

Didn’t waste any time. So before returning home asked her to call at my Ge How 2pm next day. These were not bar fine girls only drinks girls. They earn money chatting with customers and hoping customer will buy ladies drinks. Not commercial like , eg , Pattaya/Bangkok. They never ask for ladies drink but they certainly hope for it.

Provincial Governor makes it hard for girls to barfine in public. Add to that she was a Chiangrai girl = loss of face if seen with falang. She’d be branded a whore immediately. Eagle Eyes agreed. She said “what for” ? I said “shopping” (bullshit). Idea was to bang her 2pm to 6pm , then she can shower and off to work by 8pm.

Had some soap powder with me , bought at 7/11. Told her I'm going home to do some washing (true). She understood and off I went , wondering if she really will call next day. 


PIC ..... Here's 'Eagle Eyes' girl I am talking about , page three above.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.


Soaped up the clothes and left them in a big plastic trash can I had bought previous trip and left behind at Ge How for safe keeping. To bed alone , up 5am , rinsed soap out and put clothes on the line.

Today its upload Diary (hopefully) , get pics processed , hire a motorcyc (motor bike) for a self sponsored whore tour of Chiangrai. Going with tuk tuk is too inflexible and comparitively expensive. Will cruise around on a hired motorbike and see what I can find. Didn’t have any luck in finding the Bus Station Beer Bar talked out by one guy on Internet. I queried Tuk Tuk driver on that , and as suspected , he said there is no such place/s. More misinformation on the Internet : )

If I can find one nice Eagle Eye babe like last night , there will be more reconnoitres , but on motorbike this time. Tomorrow its Burma and meet Agent Br. Most prob a waste of time , but one has gotta try.

Had brekky , dropped memory card in for pics , and hired motorcyc. To Internet. Problems with web host : “no connection” notices all the time.

Next , long wait for Eagle Eyes.(EE). At the appointed time no EE. Thirty mins later I hear a faint little putt putt of Honda 100cc motorcyc coming towards my building. She has arrived. Smart girl , she came on her own , good sign. But it took a devil of a long time to get her on the bed and undressed , but fuck her I did. Doesn’t know anything about sucking cocks , but I like these naïve ones , especially if they are a little apprehensive/scared as this one was. So .. got rid of some ‘dirty water’ at long last. First and possibly last (?) for the trip. To get money to her in a discrete way I picked up her bag and said how nice it was , she looked across to me , which is what I wanted , and whilst she was looking , slipped P500 (U$10+) note into her purse. This way , no ‘money talk’. She knows now I have paid (for services rendered).

I then tell her I have things to do and must go. She gets the hint and showers , combs hair and out the door. Tonight I will patrol on motorbike and see if I can find a replacement. Tomorrow its Burma and the Agent.

My clothes had dried within 6hrs. Its a clear hot day. Might get an opportunity to wash some more before returning to Bangkok and Miss Bk , d' whore guide/agent.

So , its now 7pm , I have got motorcyc (motorbike) am off to get some ‘nuhm mun benseen’ (gasoline) , eat , then patrol Chiangrai night scene , most probably get drunk along the way. Have only had about five glasses of beer in last three days. Time to "seek and destroy" .. again.

What happened ? Well , I went everywhere on the motorcyc. The whole town seems to be deserted. Restaurants which should be a fertile recruiting grounds (sex) empty and no sign of pretty waitresses either. The Inn Come KTV was stocked with ordinary girls this trip , pretty ones time before. At Sea Restaurant I got conned. Paid Bt345 and only got one bottle of beer. Partly misunderstanding by girl , partly a rip off. Next time I go there I will pay as I go , no chit/bill. Will go there again cause its got potential (girls).

Rode out of town where there was a string of naughty singalong places in days of old. Nothing there. Thaksin (Prime Minister) at it again ? To Sinambin Garland singalong place but girls inside this time and what I saw inside was not impressive. Good ones barfined ? Night before , they were sitting outside and some were impressive. Must call there earlier when they sit outside under bright lights.

Have a guess … my daylight saving bang (Eagle Eyes) was not at work. The Baht500 I gave her was the equivalent of 7 days wages. So , she didnt bother to front that night as I thought she would. I was surprised to see a new and little big younger face at the same place , an 18yr old gal. Think we will call her "Tun" (turn up nose)



Yeh she seemed a bit spunky and up for it. At 11pm , and when no one else was around , I asked her if she could call at my place when she finishes work that night 12 m/n. She said yes , but she can not stay , her parents will wonder where she is. No barfining with these girls. All arrangements were made out of ear shot of others working there. No hope if you do not speak Thai , these girls do not speak English at all and thus hard to arrange such a manouvre without effective communication. Easy with hard core whores , difficult if not impossible with the 'amateurs'.

So , I went back home and prepared the place for some 'fierce fucking'. Sure enough 12.20am she arrives and knows what she is there for. Very young and keen to taste a big white cock. Little did she know , she's in for a disappointment : )

Usual routine. Sat her down on bed and unzippered my pants and stuck cock in her mouth. She did her best. Missionary position for a regulation bang , then turned her around and slammed it in her ass. Washed cock and back in her mouth again. I like those pouty lips of hers : ) Nice thick lips and big eyes , did it for me. She tells me most of the girls working at the Cantina are studying part time. Presume she is one of them. They don't come to work every single day , casual. Hence Eagle Eyes didnt bother to front that night. "Up to you" way of running a business : ) 'Tun' said she will not be back at the Cantina for two days. Thats ok , suits me. Lucky I 'pounced' so quickly and actually banged her , cause after Burma I might go straight to Chiangmai. Karaoke 10 and the cuties beckon. Also kinky 'Spicy' (Chiangmai).

Put Bt500 in Tuns bag. She knew , they don’t miss a trick. Out the door she goes and back to Mumma and Papa. She thinks I will be banging her again , three days time , not so.

I have done well in Chiangrai but all from the same watering hole (Cantina). Not many left there to bang : ) Soon each will know who I have banged and thus this little fishing pond will ‘dry up’. Have a prospect at Sea Restaurant too (waitress). Face a bit too powdered up though. Reminds me of Bangkok Massage babes :


PIC ..... Girl at Sea Restaurant.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.


But I will not hang around Chiangrai for her. Gypsy genes are kicking in. Need to move on.

After Chiangmai there is that insight into 'Thai only' sex venues with Agent Bk (Bangkok). Then possibly Cebu Philippines and fuck Bambi all over again. She is still young and improving. Most importantly , she now sucks cock like a real trooper. I have taught her well. Might 'pimp' her yet : )

Back at Chiangrai , I get up early and head for Wiang Come Hotel for Buffet .. Kodak shop for copies of pics , long distance call to web host then catch bus to Mae Sai and over the bridge into Burma .. quick whore tour with motorcyc taxi , then meet Agent Br 3pm. Have to be over the bridge and back into Thailand (Mae Sai) by 5pm. So what happened ?

You'll have to call back 5am GMT Thursday 1st June to find out.

Fun , fun its gotta ........................

Daily Diary




Project ... to Mae Sai , over the bridge to Burma and meet prospective Agent :

Arrived at Chiangrai Bus Terminal , small native bus just about to leave and one seat for me. Sit down , knees pressing hard against seat in front of me and young kid in army uniform next to me is taking more than his fair share of the bench seat. No air con and overhead fans not working. Hot 'n humid. An uncomfortable one and a half hours ride will ensue , methinks.

Across the aisle there is Mumma with her 3 and 6yr old kids. Three year old button faced and cute. Give her and big sister my corny souvenir gifts. Mumma and kids impressed and wai me.

Put my legs out in aisle to stretch. Conductor or fellow passenger comes along aisle , so put my feet back in again. This is going on all the time. Seat in front of me is killing my knees. Still I prefer bus to riding motorcyc to Mae Sai. On one such motorcyc trip had a puncture .. lots of inconvenience followed. Plus security consideration re bike when I abandon it and walk over bridge to Burma. Four guys can lift a locked bike up and put on back of utility/pick up and drive off with it. Screw my travel budget if that happened. So , for that reason and other reasons , native bus to Mae Sai it is.

Arrive in Mae Sai 10am , far too early , but the early bird catches the worm , doesnt it ? Across the bridge I go and hop on a Samlor (bicycle taxi) and place order : "bahn pooying sow" (house of young ladies) , to which samlor rider replies ... "Lady", I nod yes and off we go. He heads in same direction as Samlor in previous trip (FFF3). I am thinking , is he going to take me to same three houses I saw before. There might not be more than three Lady Houses in Tachileik ?

Pedal , pedal he does for some time. Sex scene is a bit out of town you see. Fortunately first lady house is new to me. Good. Inside we go and the usual 'horse stalls' , little boxes in a row. These are the girls residence and where they bang with customers. Four babes appear , all unsatisfactory. One invites me to take off my shoes and enter interview room to begin negotiations. I tell her I am hot , will go back to Hotel , shower and return. She says , "no need can shower here" (Thai language). I smile , hop on Samlor and we are out of there. Whispered to Samlor : "not attractive" (Thai language always). He smiles a knowing smile and heads off to the unknown.

Going to and returning from that whore house locals sitting out front of their homes are staring at me. They know what I am up to .. whore tour. Yet another sex tourist over the border and invading their neighbourhood : )

Off we go to second place and its another new one I havent seen before. Right inside the property we go and typical 'barn' type rooms reminiscent of horse stalls. Place looks deserted. Youngish mama-san comes out , taps on one 'barn' door and calls out ever so meekly to someone inside. She did this about three times , no response , so I hop on the Samlor and just as we are about to take off , a gal opens barn door and peeps out. Wow ... prettiest face so far. Really nice. I do not hesitate , hop off Samlor and enter gals small room. Mama says Bt500 , I hand the money over quickly , got an erection already. Excited at the prospect of that pretty gall sucking my cock.

Young gal slides bolt on inside of the door. I'm full of anticipation and excitement , but things went downhill pretty fast I can tell you.

No wonder Mama wanted money up front ... the gal was a dud. No bj , no anal , no pics. I asked a number of times for all three but she politely refused me. When I indicated anal by putting my finger towards ass , she smiled and giggled .. and waved her head 'no'. Her legs were stiff and clumsy. Think she was purposefully trying to avoid me entering her fully .. fear , or not willing to give value ? Admit it was nice , looking down on her pretty face whilst I fucked her , but thats not enough , want a bit of reciprocal action from the babe too.

After first round , I tried again for bj. Only with condom she says. Fucking ridiculous , a bj with condom , fucking ridiculous : ) Anyway its that or nothing , and I have never tried bjwc (bj with condom) There is always a first time for everything. So off with old condom , wash dick , on with new one and into her mouth it goes. After only ten seconds withdrew dick cause it was just ridiculous and there was always the possibility she would ask for more money for bj. With a condom is not a BJ , in my books. So back to fucking her missionary style again and more resistance with her legs. Hopeless , fucking hopeless. Only thing she has got going for her is a pretty face and a very dainty feminine way of refusing all my requests. No chance of pics , even though I indicated face only , and no chance of anything else. Blew my load and out of there. Enough of Burmese bangin ... unsatisfactory so far (FFF3 & 4).

It was worth noting too that , when I went to exit gals little room , I could not get out .... door was locked from outside. When it was unlocked from outside there stood a big Burmese guy , I hadn't seen before. Obviously he was listening to what was going on inside our room. If gal let out protests he might have entered the room and dusted me up ? Take care lads , when your off the beaten track in a strange country. And dont bother with Tachileik : )

Think if I had that same girl another day and a second time , things might start to improve (familiarity). But why bother , there are so many fish in the sea. Never look back : )

So I tell Samlor "back to bridge". No more whore houses/disappointments for me. We arrive at bridge , I hand him Bt100 cause long way and long time. I am sure girl gets Bt200 , Mama Bt200 and Samlor Bt100 of the five I handed over before. He did well , collected about 2/3 days cash flow with the one customer. He asked me to write down his bicycle number plate and name , for future use. Doubt if I will be back to Tachileik for a while , and whether I would bother looking him up if I did , but took his number and name down so he did not 'lose face'. Bike No.64 , hangin around the Burma bridge. Name : Pan (Peter Pan : ) So now its around 12noon , still three more hours before the meeting with Burma Agent. What to do in this very ordinary plain one street town ?. Whank myself off in public ? That should wake the joint up a bit : )

Need somewhere to sit down , so I asked the locals "Hotel" , they indicate where and say 'Aloha' (name). I walk down lanes etc to Aloha and find its a large Resort called "Allure". Enter huge grounds and then building. Slot machines , gambling tables , singers etc. Take a lounge seat , have a beer and then fall asleep : ) Woke up , requested tea to keep me awake. "Free" they said. Must be traditional in Burma not to charge for tea ? Wish they had the same traditions for sex : ) Noted also : on their drinks list , in bold type : "Cockage Free" (instead of Corkage free). Read my Snoopy Manual ... getting there. Tea was terrible by the way , worst ever. Brought to mind , the thought of bark off a tree. At 2pm I get up and head back to meeting point for Agent .. Tachileik Roundabout.


PIC ..... In the foreground fern trees Allure Resort - Tachileik Burma. In the background of same shot , peak shaped Guest Houses perched on the hillside - Thailand. There is a river in between , dividing Burma from Thailand. Two countries in the one pic. Clever Thommo , clever : )

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.


Arrive at roundabout 2.15pm .. long wait till 3pm , if Agent arrives on time. He might be like the flips (Philippines) and arrive 30mins or an hour late. Decide to wait till 3.30pm max , then head off back to Chiangrai. It's been a long day already. 3pm comes , 3.15pm and no Agent. 3.20pm and he fronts. Arrangement was , he would scratch his hair and I would respond scratching mine = we know who we are .... never seen each other before.


PIC ..... Roundabout - Burma (Tachileik) where I met Burma Agent. The sign says : "City of the Golden Triangle". Behind sign is the beginning of bridge to passport control and Thailand , only a few metres away (see Archway in distant background)

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.


So , the Burmese guy steps up to me , I shake hands and immediately see the face of a con man. Soon after I see his m.o. is very similar to a con pimp in the Philippines I knew over many years , same kind of guy. He suggests we go over bridge sit and talk there , no suitable place in Tachileik except for say Allure , which he might not be able to enter (no ID whatever). Strange , Thais let him into their country without passport. OK , so we sat down in Wang Thong Hotel Mae Sai. About same time a falang I had met whilst crossing the bridge sits down at our table and offers me a ride back to Chiangrai in his air con sedan. I accept of course. He is leaving in 15mins. He leaves table , so I have 15mins to 'interrogate' prospective Agent.

Agent wants to fuck white women. I give him tips about that. But I am starting to wonder , does he want to have sex with them or rip them off ? Then I tell him my requirements ... nice burmese ladies. He says "can do". Not forgetting this guy is very good in English. However , he did not have a satisfactory answer as to how he learnt english so well. Also when quizzed about how me makes a living , he gave another unsatisfactory answer. This guys got some ghosts in the cupboard methinks. I promise to keep in contact with him via email , but am not so enthusiastic any more .. dont trust him. We split , I hop in falangs car and off we go to Chiangrai.

Dont know what I did in Chiangrai that night. Typed this page out before on a different file , cut it out , then went to paste it on this page and it wasnt there .... lost the lot. Had to retype all this again and from memory (never good : ) Can't remember that night , certainly didnt bang anyone anyway : )

Next morning , to Internet Cafe and met a Doctor , who is also a successful Author. Had numerous books published he says. Current one he is writing is entitled : "Ripping Guts out - Thailand" , or something like that. Guts-Doctor-Author .... that figures. Never asked his name. He is in the mountains normally , helping the sick and needy at his own expense. Buying a vehicle for them so they can come to market etc. They are building a house for him on outskirts of village. Easy to imagine village girls sneaking to his house at night for a naughty and a cash flow : )

Well , he said his heart is not so good anymore , family history of father/brother dying of heart attacks , so he told villagers if he died they are to take any money out of his pockets before police come. And then he asked them what would they do with his body ? They said (in Thai) : "same as we did with another falang who died in this area .. toss body in the river". Dont drink the river water lads , dont drink it : )

I know the Thais dont respect the dead , dead falangs anyway. Reminds me of another death of falang in Thailand. Fellow countryman I knew , resident of Chiangmai and a tad aggressve. Former world class squash player .. strong and fit. He had a small vegetable farm in partnership with a German guy. They argued , then fought , German accidentally killing him. Thais brought the body into Chiangmai on the back of a pick up/utility (Songthaew) parked it in the tourist strip , Moon Muang Road , and were forever lifting the blanket off his dead body and inspecting his penis. He and his penis were on show for all and sundry walking along the tourist drag. So "tossing the body in the river" , I believe that too.

So Doc leaves , I finish my Internet Cafe work and head for Bus Station to buy ticket to Chiangmai following day. Attractive ticket seller says in perfect english : "VIP Bus". I said : "Yes , I am a very important person .. VIP please ". Then she says : "One only" (ticket).

I said "Two , if your coming with me". She liked it. She'll go home that day and tell her husband/parents that little story. Like to give folks something to 'take home' , after a hard days work at the Office : )

To Big C , check if Miss Spunk there (FFF3). Not there , gone forever. Other promo girls gather around me (don't they all : ) I take pic , then go to take shot of actual 'Beer Hall' and am told "not allowed to take pics in Big C". Madness , this paranoia about camera's is madness. When they saw the flash go off first pic , management must have been alerted , and when I went to take second pic they stepped in. Snoopy to the rescue next time (no flash required).


PIC ..... Beer Promo girls. Big C Mall. True 'innocent' provincial smiles. They don't suspect a thing. Internet .. whats that ? : ) No standout promo girl this trip. None sexy , as you can see. First on left , sitting down , is the one who served me and my choice. I could imagine tall one being popular with lads. But too skinny for me. I want meat , not bones : )

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.


Back to Ayes and eat , talk to another falang. Gee I am meeting lots of falangs this trip. Then to Night Bazaar and find very attractive Bt25 necklaces ... gifts for girls (Thailand and Philippines). Buy 25 of them at discount price. Leg openers : )

Next , off to Garland singalong place in Sinambin Road to seduce one of the pretty ones there , my last night in Chiangrai. Along the way , heavy rain comes down , got my laptop and camera in bag on my back. Afraid they will get wet. Had a quick squiz at Garland , all girls taken , too late in the night. Head back to Ge How in rain (motorcyc) , keen to get equip out of wet bag. Decide to stay home , get up 4am and retype all the lost stuff again. Did just that right now , it's 6am , took that long to type out and set pics all over again. The things I do .............. : )

Next .. pack bags , return motorcyc , brekky , on bus before 9am. Chiangmai Pussy , here I come.

Actually , I am not all that enthusiastic about returning to Chiangmai. Its just a means to an end , a means of getting back to Bangkok.

I'm making progress with learning about Snoopy and have made all the settings for covert operation .... 'stolen pics' (as they say in the Philippines). All need to do now is load software. Want to test camera out before leaving Thailand. Might buy a second Snoopy for a back up , if first one looks good. Snoopy is only available in certain countries. Better buy now , might not be back in Thailand for some time. Possibly Brazil for my next fishing expedition (FFF5).




To Chiangmai smoothly , VIP Bus , 3 hrs. Unloaded bags at "Safe Haven - 3". Look up hit list and write down in notebook hairy instructions on how to find native whore houses west of city. Found tip on internet. Vague , terrible instructions , hope I can find them. Made a list of vital views : Karaoke 10 ; Sayuri ; Spicy ; Mandalay Disco , and the Native Whore Houses (West).

Might meet up with falang I met in Mae Sai. He needs help , newbie. Came from other side of world. Shame if he misses the basics (Hit List above).

Don’t plan on staying in Mai too long. Bangkok and Philippines beckons. They don’t say no to pics , blow jobs and anal in the Philippines. Not to me anyway (hansum : )

First shower , then to Night Bazaar , buy cheap Thai Silk (most prob fake) purses for the 25 necklaces I bought in Rai. Nice gifts. How could a girl resist : ) After that , call on falang I met in Mae Sai , then whoring.

Life of a Monger wasn’t meant to be easy : )

Secondly off to True Blue Restaurant. Yet another falang takes a seat close by and starts up a conversation … Scotsman this time. Among other things I asked him : “what do you do” (job) ? His reply : “Miscellaneous”. I like that one , Misc. indeed , sounds a bit like me. He told some jokes. Sounded like a guy who , even though he was enjoying himself in Thailand , wanted to talk to a fellow falang ... lonely. Can happen when overseas ... isolation.

To Royal Lanna Hotel and the falang we will call ‘J’. He’s out , I left note and then went to nearby Night Bazaar strip and found same stall as in FFF3 and bought same silk purses at Bt20 each , 25 of them this time = Bt500. Also bought five wooden ‘singing’ frogs at another stall. Big hit in the Philippines (FFF3) and fun item at bars (Phil , where sense of humour reigns). Thai female seller was intrigued with word ‘timber’ I used , she knew , 'wood' , but had not heard of ‘timber' to describe her product. Asked me to write it down , I did so ,. and told her ‘same as wood’ (mer-un gun)

This street vendor is right next to Royal Lanna , going there again tomorrow night (J) . Might bring small English Thai Dictionary with me so street vendor can fully understand the new word : 'timber'. Its good she wants to learn .. helps her business too. Time came to pay for frogs , she said Bt220. I said “me Ajarn (teacher) discount , Bt200”. Her young shop assistant giggled , good one she thought .. falang wants discount for teaching boss the word 'timber'. Bt200 it was , every baht counts : )

Next , a mandatory visit to Sayuri (Massage). At front just inside door , usual bevvy of KTV girls. This time a little friendly , normally they ignore me. Up the stairs to the Fish Pond (Massage Parlour). Only fourteen girls , some ok/fuckable. Just as many mongers sitting in lounge chairs perving on them as there are girls for hire/rent. No one took a babe in the 10/15mins I was there. Young falang sitting next to me drinking beer , couldnt take his eyes off the girls (first time in Thailand ?).

I was thinking to myself , "keep drinking beer pal , the more you drink the more beautiful they will become" : ) Yeh , my beer consumption is way way down. One to three beers a night average since arriving in Thailand. I’m not complaining , I am rejoicing : )

Out of Sayuri , and on exiting KTV girls talk to me again. Everyone wants to talk to Thommo on this tour , dont know why. I must look 'interesting' : ) KTV stunner (FFF3) not there though , might be night off. Walk back towards main road , and at half way point tuk tuk pulls up , surprise surprise , its the same driver who dropped me off at Sayuri 15mins ago. He must have waited to see if I took a girl , if so , he’d put his hand out to Sayuri management for a Bt500 commission .. which I would pay for with an inflated massage price.

Back to Safe Haven-3 , enter room , phone rings. It’s ‘J’ and we agree to meet following day 7pm. Right then I have an upset stomach and feel sleepy. 9pm off with lights and sleep. Three hours later , 12 m/n wake up , thoughts of Spicy , the all night joint , but commonsense prevails and I do my homework , checking out finances. Seeing how much left in bank , how much spent and how much can spend in remaining days of FFF4.

Buying Snoopy has knocked a hole in my budget. Buying a second Snoopy will mean no trip to Philippines. Air ticket prices quoted here in Thailand (Bangkok-Cebu return) are crazy ... fifty per cent more than if I had bought same sector with the original air ticket back home. Some things are no cheaper , and possibly more expensive in Thailand/Philippines. Seems right now , in the early hours of this morning , I have decided to stay in Thailand and buy second Snoopy. Not going to Philippines takes a bit of pressure off my finances too.

But of course , I am a great one for changing my mind : )

Also worked out schedule for tomorrow and remainder of FFF4. Organised and alcohol free. Feel great , and know I am ready to rumble , all over again : )

Native whore houses Chiangmai , K10 (beauties) , Spicy , Disco’s , hangovers ...... here we come.


Hey , I just looked at the watch its 4am , time flies. Been working on Snoopy. Now to download software. Really infatuated with my little friend (snoopy).

Yeh, after downloading software and struggling with Snoopy I look at my watch again .. 9am ! No rest for the wicked.


Result of all this time spent with 'S' ? Devastation , thats what. Once I had downloaded the software and then downloaded pics from the camera to website page , I got a shock. Results terrible ! Seems reason is .... camera shake (no inbuilt image stabiliser)

'S' is so small and light its impossible to keep camera absolutely steady. End result fudged/blurred images. Didnt pick that up until stopped looking in camera view finder and started looking at pics on computer , as seen on website. I was devestated and couldnt believe it ... waited months for 'S' , thought I'd have a lot of fun with it ..... not so , it just does not make the cut.

Only way I could get lowlight sneaky shots without camera shake would be on a tripod or sitting on a table whatever. Thats out of the question. Holding in my hands , not pos .... age (not steady as used to be) , alcohol whilst overseas , lack of usual sleep , all adds up to : 'mission impossible'. Wish someone had mentioned 'camera shake' before. No one on internet mentioned it. Whats the use of a camera with ISO 1600 etc when it produces blurred images ? Seems no probs when flash and auto is on , but flash is what I was trying to avoid.

Another Thommo stuff up. My other regular camera has inbuilt 'image stabilizer' , is larger/heavier , and thus more stable = no camera shake ... no blurring of images.

Back to the drawing board. Back home I will look at mini cameras with both image stabilisation and low light capabilities .. if such exist. Image stabilisation with mini cameras ..... maybe not feasible (end product) ?

Add insult to injury , the price of Snoopy would have got me a Bangkok-Cebu-Bangkok air ticket (FFF4). Life of a Monger.

I'm gonna find Snoopy a new home. Instead of him being a pet , he has become a pest. You wont find me mentioning him again.


Had brekky at True Blue Restaurant. Told owner : "best western breakfast in the world. I send lots of people here. Where is my 10%". All with a smile and giggle of course. I truly do promote the place , but its still empty. Come to think of it Chiangmai itself is 'empty'. Less people come to Thailand during low season (now) of course , but cant recall it being so slack as this before. Tsunami , Bird Flu , unstable government (protests etc) must be all taking its toll on foreigners perceptions of Thailand as a tourist destination. And reluctance for blow jobs is taking its toll on whorist perceptions too : )

After True Blue , went to Money Exchange for a cash advance. Seems only yesterday I was changing travellers cheques (horse and cart : ) Nice smiley gal at Exchange. Think they smile even more enthusiastically for us falangs , cause they see us withdrawing large sums of money all the time. They think the moolah is never ending. Wish it was : )

On the gals side of the window I saw some plastic arm bands/bracelets. Stretched my neck to read whats inscribed on them , and can only see the word "Long ....." rest obscured. Immediate thoughts of "Long Neck Karens". Maybe a fund raiser ? Queried gal , she pushes one over to me ... it says "Long live the King" . Oooh , on sensitive ground here. Looks like 20Bahts worth , she says 100Baht. I buy .... gotta have good relations with the King : ) They have begun celebrating his November birthday already. She gave me a special post card to fill in and send to the King. I wont go near that one (post card). What I'd say might get me in prison : )

Now find some young gal to give it to ......

Whilst uploading latest page of Diary this morning at Int Cafe , was impressed to see latest whorist stats. Yep , more records created. Right now , there are more people reading FFF than ever before. Stats significantly beat previous FFF1 , 2 , 3 readership. Currently readership running double to FFF3 , which was the record before this.

Makes it worthwhile , if plenty are reading it.


Chiangmai cont'd : 7pm I pick up Falang 'J' , go to K10. Usual bright and cheery mama was not there. In fact no one was at the front door to greet us. Fat one takes us upstairs and to the usual room. Sixty lookers last trip .. only 15/20 this time and about 8 of them were not of the take out variety. Mama got the take outs to raise their hand , eight did not. The place was full of beauties last trip , only one real looker this trip and she is not one of the take out babes. However , mama said can bang on premises. Bet that costs a lot extra. Mama quotes Bt2000 ST Bt3000 LT. Told her I will come back later. Same story previous trip , and same reason .... girls and mama avoid 'loss of face' right then and there if I do not reject them outright.

To Sayuri and about 28 gals on display , double previous night , one real looker some others not too bad. Looker looked half european , half Thai. Especially pretty face , but legs too thin. My companion J didnt mind thin legs and agreed , she was the stand out babe there (sorry didnt take her number. Dont need a number , she stands out like a sore toe. Beautiful 'model' face. Time 7.45pm. On to CEC Beer Bars , mistake ... its usually empty till say 11pm and so empty it was at 8pm. Then showed 'J' where Spicy and Mandalay are. 'J' does not have a brilliant personality. We split with thoughts of bumping into each other later on in night. I wasnt keen on that , he was putting a dampener on my usually lively spirit. Not much chance of anything happening in his company , methinks. Other than me being ignored by the girls (he's young and apparently perceived as 'hansum' : )

So far , no photo opportunities in Chiangmai. Looks like this page five will be devoid of Chiangmai gals. Bangkok babes will have to stand in for them : )

After splitting with 'J' , what to do ? Hang in till 2am and go to Spicy or bed early , up early and work it out from there ? You know what I did , dont ya ? Yep , to bed early , up 3am. Check finances , and see where I am going from this point on. Good news : as I am not buying a second 'S' , money supply looks sufficient for a trip to the Philippines. To hell with the expense of the ticket , we are only on this planet once. Money is for spending.

After 'financials' rewrote parts of this page. Addicted to writing. Its like sex to me : )

Decided to put a bit of pep into Chiangmai. Will hire a motorbike and troll the restaurants and little Cantinas for waitresses etc. Same as I did in Chiangrai. Also got better chance of finding those native whore houses in the western sector , if I am on motorbike (flexibility and no need to talk mumbo jumbo to tuk tuk driver). So , identify native whore houses by day , return by night plus patrol 'cantinas'. That's d' programme. What actually happens could be quite different : )

And got a nice gal at a beer cantina to check out too. Twas walking past the place last night with 'J' , who is a lot younger than me , lot younger. Perhaps he is perceived as hansum , cause he tells me , in life , he has had at least a thousand babes already ... free ones in the main. Yet he is young. Yeh , I see this cute cantina gal , and say hello to her , but her eyes are locked onto 'J' behind me. She doesnt see me , only him. She talked to him , asking him to come inside etc , but he ignores her (I wouldnt : ) J only likes freelancers or freebies. Doesnt like girls working for an establishment. Not much in the way of freelance action in Chiangmai , apart from Spicy and a couple of Disco's. Yeh , whether she likes it or not , that pretty face is going to see me and talk to me (not J) tonight. And that pretty face had better be all over my cock before the sun rises tomorrow : )

Its now 5.30am , back to bed , to Motorcyc hire around 8am , off to western sector and try and find those native whore houses. I've hit a flat spot. Motorcyc should spice things up a bit.

Yep , got the cyc , so first stop get gasoline. Its Thai tradition to rent out motorcycs with empty tanks. Gotta respect traditions : ) To the whore house area described on internet about 5kms away. Three kms down the track I look down and notice the motorcyc ignition key has disappeared .. no more. Not in ignition switch. Stop bike (but not engine : ) return to gas station 3km away where I last had keys and retraced my steps. Cha cha , very slowly I rode the bike looking for the keys on the road. As you could expect , didnt find keys until 3kms along the road , ie , about spot where I noticed them missing in the first place. And me a blind man , I was lucky to find them. Motorcyc shop would have charged like a wounded bull for replacement keys. Maybe bullshit me have to replace whole ignition etc.

Some folks call me 'eagle eyes' , they reckon I dont miss a trick with the eyes. Well , my deteriorating eagle eyes picked out two tiny keys on the road in amongst all the traffic. To 'x' as described on Internet. Bullshit directions (internet) , terribly vague and confusing , didnt find any whore houses. 'X' is an upper middle class area. Whats whore houses doing there ? Doubt if they exist. Someones drunken and fertile mind at work methinks : )

To True Blue , have brunch. A mini skirted long legged babe with reasonably attractive face serves me. She doesnt look happy. No smile , worried look. Twenty mins later , got the bill , paid , change on plate was Baht5. I reached into my pocket and found Bt10 , making total tip 15 in all. When I got up to leave she looked at me with a great big smile. A smile for 15Bt , what would I get for 1000Bt ? Wonderful legs , absolutely wonderful.

It's great , I am mobile again (motorcyc). Tonight I'll have fun , if not , Bangkok the next day. Gotta get to the Philippines too ... need some dry cleaning (bj's). Will the seductive and 'cool' Thai babes release me from their spell ? 


Daily Diary




Overall , a great night ensued. Best so far methinks. The end of the night , not the beginning where it was very sour indeed. I always say ... "In life , its not the start , its not the middle , its the end that counts".

Here we go .... Chiangmai (and Thommo) comes alive , if only for a short while :

6.25pm , time to shower , and troll. Unfortunately the skies have opened up and its raining heavily. Entire skyline covered with black clouds. Decide to walk around the local area first and see if rain stops. No good riding bike in the rain , better to walk. Plan is trolling cantina's for a nice waitress type of girl , then Mandalay Disco for some wild fun , followed by Spicy pick up joint around 1.30am. No intention of going to bed early or getting up early this time. The rain is not going to stop me. Might be off to Bangkok tomorrow. Last throw of the Chiangmai dice , right now.

So I troll past cantina place , where I saw cutey night before. Not there. To Night Bazaar to get a mini singing frog. Better explain what these frogs are : Handcarved wooden frogs , you stroke the spikey back with a little wooden stick that is also provided. Resulting in a real genuine frog ‘croak’. Sounds realistic. Found a beautiful sounding one that fits comfortably into my small leather bag which I hang around my neck. Bag also holds reading glasses , wallet , keys , condoms : )

The frog seller wanted 80Bt for d’ frog. I told him ... I bought bigger ones night before for 40Bt. He says ‘where‘. I tell him , just twenty metres away. He says ‘fat one’ (seller) , I say yes. Then he says : “lady boy” , fat old lady boy. The people you meet : ) Got frog for 60Bt , just had to have it , sings great. Could have haggled to 40bt but wanted frog in a hurry and so bought him in a hurry. Cause he fits neatly in leather bag I will take him with me wherever I go in the Philippines , this trip and all future trips , and create attention with the ladies. Croak , croak , "hey I am here girls". The sound of the frog will be my mating call : )

After that , I went looking for more of those silk purses. Bought 25 a couple of nights before , going to buy another 25 tonight. Might never see them again. They are ideal for use with leg opener gifts. Then I will have 50 purses but only 25 necklaces. Will I spend about Bt500 and six hours on a return bus ride to Chiangrai to get 25 more necklaces ? Anything is possible : ) Nothing like those Chiangrai necklaces in Chiangmai so far. Ageing Mongers need all the tricks of the trade at their disposal. Mini gift giving is one of mine.

Well , the 'purse lady' was not there. Feb I bought about five silk purses , June say 12weeks later seller is still there in same spot and I buy 25. Now I come back after only a two day absence and she is not there. Work that out. Must be the rain. Lots of falangs opted to stay in their hotels out of the rain tonight and so some street sellers took the night off , including my street seller it seems. Possibly ‘cute cantina’ (gal at cantina) stayed home cause of the rain too ? Thommo's motto : “Age shall weary me , but rain shall not deter me”.

OK , back to my room , put my very best clothes on. First time on this trip I have dressed to the fullest. Reckon tonight is the night. Anyway it has to be , cause Chiangmai has been a bit tame to date. Off to Mandalay Disco where I scored a regular non whore during FFF3. First I go to my left and upstairs to dance bar where reputedly gorgeous gals are employed. One of the three hello girls downstairs had a 9 face , so the grapevine might be correct this time. Upstairs I go , peep in door , yes 1 or 2 lookers , but place empty and very noisy. That kind of sound you get when a place is empty. Folks bodies soak up the noise , there were no folks to soak up dance bar noise.

Downstairs I go and pay Bt300 entrance to the actual Mandalayl Disco itself. Hand attractive ticket seller with assistant by her side .. Bt500 note. She asks me what do I want to drink (ticket = 1 drink). She says "we have got only Heineken and San Mig". Was I hearing things .... San Mig ! For a min I thought I was in the Philippines. I opt for San Mig Light , she gives me ticket and has two one hundred baht notes in her hand ready to give to me as my change. She says , with a big cheesy grin : “100Baht for me , 100Baht for friend , ok”. Once again was I hearing right ? I said “proongnee” , ie , tomorrow. She said “sure” ? I grin and walk off with the two hundred change. Nice try honey , but begging it was.

I enter Disco (11pm ?) and there is a floor show on , wow lovely girls in flimsy sexy gear. Chiangmai has got top babes I can tell you. A couple of the girls were a clear ‘9’ on any mans scale. One or two 8’s , rest of the eight or ten dancers were 6’s (Isaan : ) Drank first beer , ordered second , then had second thoughts and stopped waiter before he took off with my order , and asked “how much“. Bt120 FFF3 , want to see if its still the same price. He says “Baht300”. Hearing right ? I ask to see drinks list , it says Bt300. I cancel order and cogitate whether or not Mandalay is worth Bt300 for a beer ?

Lots of pretty girls sitting at tables. A group of five keep looking across at ageing me. I look young enough in a darkened disco and 7mtrs away , most probably look like I am up for it : ) They might be interested in a Sugar Daddy sucker to pay their drinks bill ? So after half an hour or more of moronic music and no dancers I decide to buy a 300Bt beer to cheer myself up. Bought it and sat on it. Then I notice three Thais next to me drinking same beer. Went across to them and asked how much they paid for their beer , they said “150Bt”. Oh shit , I hate double pricing for falangs. Philippines doesn’t have that crap. Filipinos have an innate fondness for foreigners. Thais have an innate dislike for foreigners , which is beautifully covered up with smiles , manners and charm. A culture of 'no confrontation'.

Gulped down my beer and strutted out , telling the floor manager along the way : “If you come to my country same price beer. Here Thai 150 , Falang 300 , no good , no good” Didnt give him a chance to reply , walking briskly out the door and off the premises , never to return again (?). Actually I might return one day but not buy beer. Just have first ‘free drink’. From then get Thais to order for me. If drinks boy queries me , I will say “Thai people very friendly , they buy me beer , I like , I like” : )

So I look again for ‘cute cantina’ , along the Moon Muang strip. No sight of her. Its about 12 midnight. Too early for Spicy , so off to Bubbles Disco , Bt100 entrance , Bt100 for beer. Asked ticket seller how long Bubbles been going (I was in Bubbles 1986). She said “Start 1966”. Wow. Inside Bubbles and right up to when I left at about 1.15am there were plenty of spare tables and chairs. Not a lot of hookers. So I am wondering , where do the Hookers go for Disco action nowadays ?

Arrive at Spicy , its starting to happen (crowd) and my favourite control tower seat (spider and fly) is waiting there for me. Amazing , most seats taken by my favourite just sitting there waiting for me. Same seat and position I had twelve weeks before (FFF3). Signs are good. Within 15mins a happy group of falang guys and gals enter. One tall lean guy has a hippy look about him , including kinky hat and can he dance , yes Sir , he can. One of the falang ladies with his group had a nice party attitude , smiled like crazy and kept getting Thai girls up to dance. She’d go to a gal sitting down , say "come on , come on" , take her by the hand , then lead her to another table take another girl , round up about 3 or 4 then start dancing. Guys would then come in and break up the circle and the party had begun.

By 2am Spicy was raging. Nothing like it in Bangkok , nothing like it. Its a smallish place but lively as hell. Personal opinion of course , you might go there and think its ordinary.

Lady luck struck. Attractive gal and her curly haired friend park next to my table. They know a hansum Sugar Daddy when they see one : ) I pounce quickly , offering them drinks. Then further on , I pull out of my (leather) bag of tricks one of those silk purses (20bt) with a 25bt necklace inside. Targeted gal was impressed and put the necklace on straight away , all 25bt of it. Later I gave her my calling card for Safe Haven-3 , with room number on it. Asked her to call tomorrow and take me on tour to Thai only places. She agrees. Invited her fruity curly haired girl friend to come along too.

I like the ’bun in the oven’ strategy. Meet them , dont bang em straight away , nurture them ..... then strike (thrashing) !

OK I can hear you from far away saying : “There goes Thommo with his bullshit ‘bun in the oven’ thing. How many times has a babe slipped through his fingers that way”. True , true , it does happen. Maybe I like to lose ?

For sure I am forever optimistic (regardless of what I say) and I am optimistic that babe I'll call .. Spanish Lady will call tomorrow night. If she doesn’t I can always cry in my beer . Tonight she has her hair up , high cheek bones , slutty eyes , healthy complexion , round body. Looks ‘spanish’. Oh yeh , bangin her lovely big round ass would be a delight : )

Just hang on a minute fella’s while I go to the shower and have a whank : )

Back now :

Yep , you’ve got it ....... left her back at Spicy and returned home , about 3am or little later. All the above ... calling card , silk purse and arrangement for tomorrow transpired over about a 90 min time frame. By this time I had drunk about seven beers for the night .... enough. Back to my room and the ‘water treatment’. Drinking lots of water. Woke up 9.45am , supposed to return motorcyc 8am. To bike shop paid for another day. To True Blue for brekky. Got involved in reading international papers there. Then it hit me ............. my waist pouch is not on me ... I always have it around my waist under my trousers , but 10.30am its not there. It had Baht10,000 and all credit cards , drivers licence etc in it. Panic. Where the hell is it ? Did someone razor cut it off me inside crowded Spicy ? Did the Spanish Lady’s friend get it ? Are those two girls sophisticated thieves praying on frail old men like me ? Or is the pouch laying innocently on my hotel bed and the cleaning lady has come across it during my absence. Will she help herself ?

So I stopped reading the paper at Blue , paid bill and returned to hotel without further delay. Opened Haven door , not on bed. Hunted around. It had found a spot under all the rubbish laid out on bed. Counted the cash , checked the cards , all present.

Then sat down and typed this out. I'm on my second bottle of water so far this morning. Two large cups of tea at Blue and now heaps of water. By 8pm tonight , the bewitching hour , when Spanish Lady calls , I will have re-charged my batteries and ready for anything she can throw at me. She looks healthy and spunky. Healthy girls can shag longer ... god bless them , and god bless her gorgeous big ass. Round body , not fat , not skinny. She’ll be about 2kgs lighter by the time I am finished with her.

So , what happened ? : In ya dreams Thommo , in ya dreams. It's now 8.45pm and she has not fronted. Gee these Thai gals just will not engage with old guys. Nice to my face , but not willing to be seen in public with an ageing falang , I suppose. The ones you see with oldies are the girls at bottom of food chain. (exceptions prevail). Nowadays I am getting a lot of knock backs. There is a message here .........."hang up your saddle Thommo , hang up ya saddle". Well , I am trying to withdraw from whoring. Currently a Fly on the Wall , aint I ?

Problem now is , I have got no B plan. Initial thoughts ... go to Bubbles and recruit a replacement whore guide , but no one goes to Bubbles until 12 midnight (and it closes 2am). Too late for reconnoitre of Thai venues anyway. OK , so I have got the message. No respectable looking girl wants to go with me. What to do tonight ? Cry in my beer I suppose : )

Have my room door open to cool things down a bit. Hear the pitter patter of ladies shoes and then it stops. I turn around , its a fat one , looking in on me. I waved her off. Old ducks , fat ducks but not nice ones. I suppose a mongers career cant last forever , including mine : )

To Blue Restaurant again , drink more tea. Five large cups of tea so far today ... caffeine hit. Get waitress to write in Thai language , instructions for tuk tuk .. "whore tour". Driver takes me firstly to Chiangmai Land. Been there , done that on previous trip (FFF2). Then to two more places , neither of them exciting. Ask him "more" , but he wants to give up , "no more" he says. Bullshit .. hundreds in Chiangmai. But where , I do not know. Thais and Flips give up too easily. One of the things that distinguishes them from us. They also have soft skin , lovely hair , smiles , femininity and tight pussies. Something that also distinguishes them : )

Back to Safe Haven-3 and there is a babe waiting for me. Face vaguely familiar. Its Spanish Lady from previous night ! She's let her hair down , doesnt look so good or the same now. Hair up tight suits her high cheek bones. Now she looks a regular LON. And amazing my assessment of her now that I am sober. Last night , under influence of alcohol and in the dark , I rated her a 7 , today under bright lights 4.75 ..... Can now see she is a bit thick around the waist and thighs. Her use by date is approaching (mine already has : ) We go to a cantina to meet curly haired friend , who seems to be in a bad mood. Curly hair was really negative from start to finish including saying things like , I quote : "Some people say falangs are assholes". In other words , she thinks falangs are assholes. Not a very Thai thing to do or say.

Both girls come from Isaan not Chiangmai. There was tourist Thai boxing next to where we were sitting. I said : "Thai boxer funny , way he lifts his legs and wobbles his head". Curly girl with a frown said : "Not funny if your in the ring with him". I agreed with her , adding "Thai boxer very good , fast , 10secs and I would be on the floor". The more grumpy she got the more smiley and happy I got , but she could not pull herself out of her depression , or whatever it was. Stubborn , they are stubborn. Once they get in a certain groove , they can only get worse.

Later on , Spanish Lady's effort to find me native style fun places was weak at best. Curly girls intervention at times did not help. Could have done better myself on a motorcyc.

Spanish (in red top below) said she was approached by 3/4 young falangs at Spicy last night , but they did not want to pay (for sex).


I tell ya fella's the karma was not good. Suspect Spanish Lady thinks falangs are assholes too. This time around , I felt uncomfortable in their presence (I'm sober : ). Spanish says she has rent problems , must pay rent tomorrow. So , she is starting to introduce 'problems' already , time to split and split I did. Wont spend a sec or a dime on those two ever again. So Chiangmai and Thommo remain fuckless. FFF3 was better in that respect.

Its almost 12 midnight. Go to sleep or Bubbles/Spicy ? If I go to Spicy , Spanish and cohort might be there and hit me for drinks (and rent !) Might get to bed and catch a plane to Bangkok tomorrow. At least Spanish did call at 'Haven' , and thus I avoided rejection. My whoring career has had a reprieve : )

No Spicy , to bed 1.15am. Up 5.40am , to airport and buy ticket. Had some fun at airport with two Thai babes who possess a heavy Brit accent. Think they must have been born in UK and were visiting distant Thai relations. Return motorcyc to hire shop. Gal there looking more sexy each time I call. I take back my passport and tell her : "You have a nice face. I like the glasses". She takes off the glasses and says : "OK now" ? I say : "No , I like the glasses" , lean forward and whisper in her ear ... "make you sexy" . She say : "where you go" etc I say : "Bangkok ... 1, 2 Go airline ... cheap" She said "You should buy from me , give you discount". I said : When at airport buying ticket I think ... "buy two tickets ? .... one for me , one for you". She slapped me enthusiastically on the chest. That girl feels sexy and needs a good work out : ) University graduate in Economics too , got some brains. Thick lips , slightly protruding top teeth , high cheek bones. Bit of Japanese look about her. She'd be pretty insatiable in bed methinks. (Whank , whank : )

Back to Safe Haven , pack bags , partake of 'last supper' and leave Spanish and Curly behind me. Suppose to meet them again at 9pm that night. What for ? , they are not worth it. When I don't front , Curly will say , I told ya : "Falangs are assholes" : )

Agent Bangkok is much more cool and relaxed than those two. See what she can come up with (Tour).

Flipsville (Philippines) beckons. In 32yrs I've never heard anyone there call foreigners "assholes". 


To the airport , plane leaves on time. Impressed with "1 , 2 , Go" Airline. Thai Air wanted Bt2800 , 1/2/Go only Bt1700. Get to Safe Haven-1 and secure a room. Phone Agent Bangkok and arrange for a 11pm meet and reminded her 'tour'.

I arrive at Golden Bar. Agent Bangkok (AB) comes on time , I explain to her what I want to see ... working class spots where Thai man go to get woman. Into the taxi and off we go. Boy , was I in for a surprise. To this point I have described AB as cool 'n calm. Well she was anything but that tonight. Very excited and talkative. Never in my life have I got such an ear bashing , and this from a Thai. She was talking gibberish , ie , very poor english at machine gun pace without stopping for comma's or full stops. When I tried to get a word in , she raised her voice over mine and quite often said , with a tad of aggression : "listen to me , listen to me". She also kept saying "I have power , I have power".

Fella's this girl is off her rocker , plain mad. She's telling me she has friends in police and parliament and she is going to change things in Bangkok. Closing time 7am , not the current 1am. Girls will not look cheap , like sitting out front of KTV's etc. "I take over" , she says. "Easy to make money Thailand" .... "Just waiting" . Anytime I tried to have some input she'd say "listen to me , listen to me". Taxi driver was looking in rear vision mirror and smiling at me , no doubt thinking ... "falang your getting an earful tonight".

I thought she was 25yrs old but tells me she is 37 , has three kids .. 17yrs (girl) , 15yrs (boy) and 2/3yrs (girl) all from different guys. Since I have been to Chiangrai , she has been kicked out of her accommodation and is currently in a Guest House with her youngest kid , others back in the Province. She's placed a request with a Swiss guy to help her out. Long distance call. Dont think she will be hearing from him : )

Sad , three kids from three guys who then piss off on her , end of her 'use by date' , no job of any kind , trying to support young girl. Getting kicked out of her accommodation has flipped her .... she is under stress and about to crack up. As far as the Tour goes , she showed me all the wrong places , eg , Bt400 entrance etc. That means Bt800 cause she is with me. She says she likes 'quality'. When I tell her Suttisharn Road she says "no quality , dont like".

My assessment of this girl .... she is highly strung now , under stress and likely to do something silly. A couple of times she was about to blow her top (get angry) with me , for no reason at all. She doesnt want anyone to stop her talking or pursuing her wild dreams. She has to believe that success is just around the corner. When I try to sober her thoughts , she scorns me and talks faster , louder and more aggressively. This is the kind of girl who could instruct the driver in Thai language to head for a Police Station and accuse me of this or that. Her imagination is running wild. Mad as a hatter , potentially dangerous. There was none of this before I left for Chiangrai. Maybe she has calm periods and then periods where she goes off the rocker (mad).

I really feel sad for her .... the future for her and her small kid are bleak indeed. She is unaware of her mental state and whats going to happen to her .........sleeping on the streets , talking to herself.

I stop taxi outside a Suttisharn Rd Thai GoGo place. AB says "not quality , not go inside". I pay taxi and hand her Bt1000 note , yes 1000. She is going to need every baht and more in the coming days. Its my way of saying 'adios'. She instructed me to ring tomorrow , I smiled and closed the taxi door. Another one bites the dust. I have a penchant for picking the wrong ones. Maybe I enjoy the drama ? : )

I enter Thai GoGo. In and out the front door in 10 secs flat. Only big fat Thai girls on stage , absolutely no one else there , only me for 10secs. On exiting , smell danger , small unlit laneway and 2/3 guys approaching me from different directions , one calls out "Mister , Mister". Get around corner and into taxi. Driver has Laos music on. Tell him I love it , he turns up the volume and yahoos 'n girates whilst driving. Bangkok taxi drivers are from Isaan. Isaan people originated in Laos (their grandparents etc). I read once where 30% of Thais are from Isaan.

Taxi driver tries to con me into a Bt200 taxi ride to 'nice places'. Not on , "Soi.4 thanks".

Its around 12.15am , NEP/Nana area looking quiet. To Bier Garten , still some 'b. graders' there. Then Gullivers .. empty of hookers , theyve migrated to CM2 I suppose. Thermae crowded , hundred or more girls there , some respectable looking , maybe some of them are ex Gullivers.

To my favourite : See-Yaam (Siam) Hotel. Arrive , reasonable number of girls and some 8's in attendance (Coffee Shop). Have a beer and tuna sandwich. Looking for my Student Tee Ruhk (sweetheart) but she is not there. During my FFF3 tour her girlfriend said she only comes some times and that has been born out with my frequent visits to See Yaam and her continual absence.

I get up and walk around to the Back Road I mentioned earlier on in this Diary. About 30/40 girls there this time , its an off night. Friday and Sat nights you can be assured of a hundred lined up. I take a seat at a roadside cantina and order Beer Chang. Thirty baht. For me , the cheapest beer in Thailand , this trip. Cute girl sitting at next table. I ask her can I take her photo , no definitely no. I take pic of my unique table with a hole in it. See below. As soon as cute gal saw flash go off she got up and walked 15 metres away from me. Thai guys come along in their BMW's and find me sitting on a tiny plastic stool 2am in the morning drinking beer. Sorry fella's I am not for hire. They are bemused by this ageing falang sitting amidst all the road side hookers.


Back to See Yaam Coffee Shop , stocks depleted somewhat. Girls given up , gone elsewhere (home ? ). I do likewise , give up and head for Sukhumvit Road where folks sit on plastic chairs , eating and drinking from cheap foldable tables. Where are the 1am restrictions ? You cant stop it , Thais have to survive some how.

Later on , come across a special gal , near the tale end of Suk' strip. Sitting by herself drinking a Coke. Mini skirt , legs crossed exposing thigh. Tight black T. Shirt with plunging neckline exposing very nice boobs indeed. They are not small or huge , they are full size , lovely and fresh with a wonderful cleavage. Girl looks 18. Face is cute , hairstyle nice (hanging down one side). Only points I could deduct would be 0.25 for having a piggy nose. But cute one at that. Because of nose , Thais would say she is ugly. Pointed nose for Thais = beauty.

I take seat , table next to her , order Sprite and ask her can I take pic. No , absolutely no , but with no aggression , charming girl. I ask her where she works , she says : "Patpong , Kings Castle 2". She wrote it down in my mini note book for me. Included her name : Aom , pronounced 'Om'. Cute handwriting too. She's a GoGo girl and unfortunately at 3am in the morning she is waiting for her falang boyfriend. Cellphone rings , its him , she says he is at the Noodle Shop just down the road (South of us). She gets up smiles says she has to go , invites me to Kings Castle.2 .........

Well , I'd give her an 8 for looks 'n body , but a 9 for sex appeal. This gal would be popular. Not many guys could resist her. Hey , check her out at Kings Castle .2. , and report back. You've got her name.

I didnt want to see boyfriend , he might be big and burly : ) She headed South for boyfriend , I headed North towards Soi.3 , hundreds sitting at footpath cantina's. Took some pics , but they dont work out , cause folks are getting in front of the camera all the time. Also folks unhappy when seeing the flash go off. Turn around and frown : ) 

Return home 3.50am ......

two mongrel dogs are my only companions : )


5am to sleep , 8am up and type this out. Finish washing clothes and onto line , then to Internet Cafe and upload this page.

Hit List for tonight : Patpong Star of Light Blow Job Bar (and maybe Castle 2 for Aom) ; Poseidon Massage Parlour , World Trade Centre Beer Garden ; RCA , and finally Wongwien 22. On reflection , seems too ambitious a list. Think you can count on the first two only : )




I promised not to mention that dirty word "S . . . y" again (camera). You know , I resisted buying Series 1. of 'S' back home and held out for Series 2. in Bangkok. Would you believe that the internet now says .. Series 3 was released in America on 30th May , ie , only 7 days after I had bought Series 2. The thing is , the manufacturer now admits to camera shake in Series 1 & 2 , and blurring when flash is not used. Series 3 is supposed to fix that 'no flash/low light' problem , I quote from the manufacturer :

".............combines higher light sensitivities with faster shutter speeds to stabilize pictures and reduce blur caused by both camera shake and subject movement. To make it easy for users to achieve blur-free results, a convenient ‘picture stabilization’ button has been added" to the 3 series. Me : Another bun in the oven , check that one out later on in the year. Need to get sneaky shots of reluctant babes. Reluctant ones are usually the 'lookers'. Anyway , if you can get a pic your not supposed to get , it adds a bit of spice to life.

Right now , my thoughts are ... not to go to the Philippines. I would feel a goose paying Baht16,800 in air fares just to hop across to Cebu. Think Thailand has the potential to amuse me till the end of this current tour (FFF4) , which is coming to an end in the not too distant future. Shorter trip this time. A return ticket to Chiangrai and 25 more bracelets will only cost me Bt4000 (Bt3950 for the bracelets : ). Got some unfinished business in Chiangrai too .... need to troll more restaurants on motorcyc. Potential in that respect is quite good methinks. Also troll Chiangmai on motorcyc too. Some unfinished business there also.

So , right now I am procastinating about the Philippines. By the time I have made my mind up it might be too late. Right now , not willing to pay big baht for a side trip there. Do not see it as value. If I don't go to Philippines I might visit the 'Animal Farm' ... Pattaya and check out joints you guys are interested in. There is a new Angel Witch in Pattaya. Worth a 30min checkout methinks. And a reader would like me to check out Buffalo Bar too. He's offered me drinks money to file a report : ) I always enjoy visiting the Animal Farm (Pattaya). Earthy place. And there is that sea breeze too. Nice , after being land locked into the humid sticky heat of Bangkok.

You recall , I gave Bt1000 to a nut case the other day. Enjoyed giving her some sustenance in her hour of need. Its nice helping chicks out without asking for sexual favours in return. Of course there is a limit to that kind of charity. A man can't live on charity alone .... we need 'meat' some of the time. Especially when its all around us ... Bangkok.

To reiterate tonights target/s : Star of Light Blow Job Bar , Poseidon and World Trade Centre plus others if time. Suffering from lack of pics of babes , but the girls are more pic resistant here in Bangkok. They know too well , the pic is most prob going to end up on the Internet : )

Out the door I go , taxi driver says he knows Poseidon Massage. Along way he tries to dump me at Cupidy Massage where he'd get Bt500 commission. Eventually we get to a huge building with Poseidon splattered all over it. First floor to the right is a KTV Beer Bt155 and supposedly dancing girls and singing. 9.20pm no sign of that , place empty. Up next level about 30 girls in the 'ok' category on display. I really cant see a lot of difference between these girls and girls at other Massage joints , yet guys rave about the beauties in the place. Marginally better looking at best. Back down the stairs to catch elevator to 3rd Floor and 'models'. Theres about 8/10 models sitting on a elongated horseshoe lounge. Guys sitting at coffee tables drinking whatever and perving on the 'models'. Personally didnt see anything outstanding sitting on the lounge chair. Quite often I think .. Thais and Flips think a model is someone who has too much make up , too skinny and a lot of miles (fucks) on the clock (sophistication : ) . On exiting the building I saw some nice ones sitting around. I think they were the ktv girls. Overall , yes maybe slightly prettier at Poseidon than other Massage parlours , but at the time of my call , not a big choice like at Chao Phya 2 etc. Add to that , falangs are charged an additional Bt1000 for soiling these maidens. I would need to call on Poseidon a couple more times before coming to any firm decisions on the place, and call earlier next time , say , 7.30/8pm. I was expecting to see 'stunners' , but none were present when I called.

Out of there and tell next taxi driver "Silom Rd Patpong , lady dancing". He's like the other one and tries to take me to a Massage joint somewhere else (you can bet Cupidy : ) We get to a very big intersection with red lights. Five mins pass , then ten , twenty , twentyfive mins. Yes , we were waiting that long for traffic lights to change. Never happen to me before in my life , sitting that long at traffic lights. Big pile up of cars behind us. Apparently the King is coming , but then nobody really knows. Had enough , pay taxi driver , get out of car and walk 5mins to Patpong GoGo area. Boy what a congestion of people along the way. All buses had been stopped , all traffic. A sea of people lining the roads and footpath trying to get home but no public transport in sight. Eventually I get to Patpong and enter under the main "Beer Chang" Archway. 


PIC ..... Main entrance to Patpong ... Overhead sign says : "Chang Beer ... Patpong". Kings Castle 2 and many other GoGo's down that Soi , plus the all important "Star of Light" Blow Job Bar (Patpong.2.)

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.


On the way to Star of Light BJ Bar I see Aom's place of employment .. Kings Castle 2. Front door is open. Lots of good looking girls shuffling their feet. I find Star of Light BJ Bar. Women outside are 2's and thats being kind. Look like they are in their 40's and no sign of them ever having being attractive. All I need is for one of them to smile at me without any teeth and that would complete the picture. Asked one woman sitting out front what time start next day , she says 10am. Told her I will come back tomorrow (bullshit). Saves face : ) Also told her SL is mentioned on the Internet. BJ lady asks : "good or bad". I said : "S'moke dee tee soodt Thailand " = " best bj's in Thailand". She smiled , her work has been recognised and appreciated. Its not all sucking cocks , there has been some acclaim. Honestly I couldnt imagine myself giving them my dick to suck on. It would put me off BJ's forever : ) But I tell ya , going on Internet chat , that place is the most popular bj bar in Thailand. The vacuum cleaners there might not look good , but they suck the best (apparently).

Passed KC2 again and decide to enter and see Aom in action. Mama-san says "only Singha". I dont like Singha and I dont like situations where it is "take it or leave it" , no choice. Out of there I go. Taxi driver wants Bt200 for a ride back to my Safe Haven , when in reality it would be about Bt60 , so I catch the sky train back for 20bt.

Back at SH have a pot of tea to keep me awake, only 3hrs sleep last night. Many other nights similar , lack of sleep. The things I do ............... More washing , type this out and its 12.45am , ie after midnight , too late for World Trade Centre. Its most prob no great shakes anyway. Don't hear much being said about it on the Internet , but curiosity requires me to check it out.

Out to See-Yaam (Siam) Hotel , nice voyeurs haunt , and see if tee-ruhk kohng pohm (sweetheart of mine) is there. Think I will leave Bangkok within 36hrs , but where will I go ? , dont know yet.

As I exit Safe Haven , the two women on duty there must be thinking : "What does he do until 3/4am in the morning. All the rest of our guests are fast asleep , he is just about to begin the night. He's not young either , how does he do it" ? I'll tell ya how I do ..... drugs !

Drug of my choice : Chah Lohn/Hot Tea. Caffeine in the tea keeps me going. Back home I drink 2/3 cups of herbal tea a day , but that is caffeine free tea. Here in Thailand I am drinking 3/5 large pots of English tea (caffeine) per day. Yes pots = about 17/20 cups of tea in all. But I've got to stop drinking it for a while , so I can get naturally sleepy , crash and get body re-freshened , cause I can see in the mirror , I’ve got some bags under my eyes and what looks like blue bruising. In reality I am actually stuffed , but the tea keeps me going. If I want to look better in the mirror , gotta get some natural sleep and wean myself off the drug of choice ... tea.

Taxi driver better this time , no connivance trying to take me somewhere else , although most places including Massage are closed by now , so he doesn’t have much choice other than to take me to where I want to go .. Siam Hotel.

Arrive at Siam and there are more than usual number of girls under the tree out front and also hanging around Siam , but out of view of hotel management. Maybe 15 girls in all. Year 2002 there’d be 40/60 out the front , and in view of management. Those same girls are now around the Back Road , eg , blow jobs through the hole in the table. See pic above : )

So , through the front door of Siam I go , staff getting to know me now. I’m a regular. Surprise , surprise , the joint is jumpin. Lots more girls , say 80 or more and some lookers too. Added to that , pleased to see they are happy to see me and giving me big shiney smiles and come hither looks. They seem extra hungry tonight. A few short days after the end of previous month , maybe rent money is due ? They have been largely cool about my presence before , but tonight they seem to be keen to do biz with me and anyone else with a dollar. Male attendance higher too .... Koreans and Thais , it seems. Maybe some Japs there too , hard to distinguish them some times. There is no vacant table , except what I perceive to be the Restaurant Supervisors table. Saw him propping there night before , keeping an eye on things. But he is not sitting at that table right now , so I grab it. Think everyone else thought they could not sit down at that table , but I can plead ignorance , and grab it. Nice control tower position next to door where girls enter and exit.

Waiter recognises me and gets me beer Kloster yai/big. Pours first drink then puts bottle next to some ornaments on a shelf near me , a little bit out of view. Normally they have to take the bottle back to the bar. New laws forbid bottled beer after 1am , beer in glass yes , but not bottle. So I am getting privileged service now .... bottle has been left with me. I seem to have some status in the place at long last. They can see I am not a "falang asshole" : ) This includes the girls , who seem to be warming up to me.

For sure there are some 8.5’s , and one or two 9 girls in attendance tonight. These girls could easily be earning big bucks somewhere else and after 1am they head for Siam to reap some more cream. Thai (and Flip) girls never have enough money. Think they hang around Siam till 3am , then if no luck , off home , sleep till 11am , up shower etc back to Massage Parlour or KTV whatever. It seems these girls need money right now , attendance is up and there are some lookers too. Wish I could take pics and show ya what I saw , definitely 2/3 x 9’s and 2/3 8.5’s in attendance. Plus a fair number of 7's. Good height , boobs , face , gear ... d’ woiks. Higher standard than CM2 , Angels , Gullivers etc. And higher price no doubt : )

Lads , you owe it to yourself to check Siam (See-Yaam) out at least once. No English spoken I agree , but experience a genuine Thai Hooker venue once in your life.

Yes , I brought along my mini frog with the beautiful high pitched croak. Amazing coincidence .. there is music coming from a table 4mtrs from me. Every so often there is a frogs 'croak' in this music. So I pick my frog out of my pocket and respond to what sounds like a radio station playing ‘frog’ music. Girls on that table pick up on it , everyone does , including Mama-san who discretely patrols the tables looking for the possibility of a commission/tip from the girls if she can help bring parties together.

Mama takes frog from my hand and joins in the fun, stroking the frog in reply to radio frog. I know which table the noise is coming from but cant see any medium , ie , radio/whatever. Then a very attractive babe returns to the table in question , waiter and mama-san babble to her in Thai , she opens her bag she left hanging on the chair and pulls out a cell phone which is babbling ’frog music’. Everyone smiles , game up. End of frog frolic.

Very impressed with the merchandise (girls) tonight , pleasing to see its getting better. Am thinking , if inside Siam good whats it like outside on Back Road ? Out door I go and yes there are more girls there than previous night (hungry season : ) , about 50/60 I suppose , and the theme tonight is : “short , shorts”. Everyone seems to have decided to wear short tight shorts tonight. Long legs and short shorts. I approve.

Saw a guy laying on that table with hole in it. Gal under table sucking him off ........... joking : )

So once I satisfied my curiosity about the Back Road I returned to the Coffee Shop and drink Sprite. Not drinking much beer on this fishing expedition. Good for my health. And Asian babes prefer guys who are moderate in their alcohol intake. Typical Western yahoo drunks not appreciated. Flips tolerate them , but quite often Thais no. Hence the 'cowboys' go to Flipsville and sophisticated gents like me , head for Thailand : )

My student sweetheart is nowhere to be seen. Busy studying (someones balls) methinks. Got a feeling she will surface soon. All the other girls have. Yet she might have found a Sponsor , and has no need for Siam and Thommo anymore ?

Enough Fly on the Wall stuff , home 2.30am. Bed 4am (washing etc .... nightowl) No mongrel dogs to accompany me this time. All alone. Up 7am. Will go to MBK Shopping Mall today and purchase spare camera battery. 


Did just that. At MBK and whilst heading for camera shop I spy a beautiful face working as a Shop Assistant. Beautiful to me , anyway. She’s got one of those robot combination wheel toys (no body , just wheels) , and navigates it around in amongst the passing crowd to gain attention for her employers shop. Thats her main job. No boss around at this time , only her. I stop and chat a little with her , tell her she is beautiful etc and then move on. Whilst walking around the Mall I am thinking ..... gotta get this babe , she has a beautiful face. So , during my strolls found a nice gift for her , came back and handed it over. Asked her can I meet her after work , her English is passable. They need English in MBK .. its a tourist destination. Surprised when she agreed to my proposition. Maybe she has got rent to pay ? Arranged to meet her at nearby McDonalds 9pm.

So I spend the remainder of the day cogitating and scheming as to how I will get her pants off. To the appointed spot 9pm I go , she fronts on time .. 9.15pm to be exact . On arrival she says : “Starbucks“. We hop in taxi and she takes me to Starbucks , a place where sitting with falangs is not so high profile. Too many curious Thais at McD's. No one else at Starbucks. Has she arranged this kind of rendezvous before ? We've got an intimate seat around a corner so , with her permission I take pics of her , see below : 

Re pic above. Yeh I know , looks 17 , but is actually 23yrs old.


I am crazy for her face. Best face I have had for a long time. Reminds me of Lovely Lia (Philippines). Only better face than hers , mainly cause of those lovely Thai eyes and refined pointed features (eg nose) but she's not as 'carnal' as Lia. Not many girls have the ’carnal' appeal about them like Lia. Think we will call this new acquisition (gal) of mine : Cute.

‘Cute’ was not carnal , she was in control , as most Thai babes are. But boy did she have a face. Will it be possible for me to slip my cock inside her mouth ? Long shot .. she has most probably not been exposed to such deviate behaviour before. For sure I am going to try and get those lips wrapped around my prick , for sure.

Gonna spend a packet on this babe , give her Bt1500 short time to start with. Then try and recruit her into a Long Time (overnight) shag for same price , once she gets to know me and my juicy cock : ) Right now , I am going nowhere , staying in Bangkok. Could be the last pretty face I shag.

When I return from FFF4 I begin Radiotherapy treatment for prostate cancer. Oncologist said : “Your shaggin days might be over , once you have radiotherapy treatment”. Not those exact words of course , but words to that effect : ) So better make my assignation with ‘Cute’ a memorable one. Everything else is now put on hold. Maintain focus on Cute's pussy and fresh lips wrapped around my dick. Dont expect any anal or bj early on , but with the skills of an old fox , I hope to experience those two before my plane leaves Thailand.

Whilst at Starbucks gave Cute one of those silk purses with necklace and Bt200 inside it. Told her “gim khow” , ie , money to eat rice. She thanks me. I say : “Meet you tomorrow , same place same time , give you copy of pics” , partly in English partly in Thai. She understands and agreed to another meet (another Bt200 : ) . Gave her Bt100 for taxi. Trying to get the message across to her : “Stick with me and thou shall not want". She's just met her first falang Sugar Daddy , or has she. Perhaps working at MBK is just a front for her more sinister activities ... recruiting passing frail falangs ? : )

Off she goes in one direction , off I go in another. Me heading to the shower and a quick whank : ) Actually I wet my pants at Starbucks. Good sign ... I am going to enjoy this one.

Love , love , Thomas is in lust : )

Daily Diary



Now I am thinking of Cute all the time. Stayed around Haven most of the day. Planning for tonight. World Trade Centre 7/8pm .. Cute 9pm and no doubt See-Yaam in the early hours of the morning. Rain came down , it shall not deter me (or Cute , I hope).

Was too late for World Trade Centre , tomorrow night for sure. Had to go straight to meeting point with 'Cute'. Asked her to come back to Hotel. She said boyfriend is waiting for her , therefore can not. She said day off tomorrow can come 2pm. Meets boyfriend 6pm , so ST it is : ) Gave her the obligatory Bt200 and 100 for taxi. Off she goes. Can see already our communication is limited , so its important to introduce the physical side of things before she tires of trying to communicate with me. With the physical side , she will get real money and I will get real honey (hopefully).

Off to See-Yaam (SY). Another bad taxi driver , got him to stop car , let out the expletive "fuck" , he quickly responded with : "no fuck" (how did he know : ). In other words he's saying ... dont use the fuck word with me. He might have thought I said "fuck you" , not so. Quick movement is necessary before things escalate. Exit taxi leaving car door open for payment purposes , tempted to drop fare on passengers seat , thats what I do when angry. Decided to put it in his hand , cause I think he is fuming.

Next taxi ok , and we arrive at SY with no hassles. For first time in years I take a seat in the front room of SY , its nicer there. Not many this early in the night but some attractive ones nevertheless. Around 11.15pm a group of Koreans arrive and they head straight for back room. Within 15mins all the girls in my room got up and transferred to the back room .... where the small dicks and big money resides (Koreans) Reminds me of LA Cafe , in that respect. Women gravitate to money , do not believe otherwise : )

And so would I , if I knew where it was : )


So , decide to have a look at 'Back Road' , very few there this early in the night (11.45pm). Off to Thermae. Taxi driver misunderstood my destination , resulting in a 10km detour. He apologised for that. I calmly accept his apology , not wanting any more taxi confrontations this night. Plenty of girls at Thermae , about 80 or so. Average line up , no gems. Smokey environment as usual. On entering I have a certain routine at Thermae (T) , hard to explain , but it brings a smile to the girls faces. However , the falangs hangin on the bar with sad faces disagree and wonder "who’s the clown thats just walked in” (Thommo). Really , if grog and girls produce sad faces , they should try something else : ) I circle the merchandise on display once only , then out the door. Nothing there to keep me.

Onto Sukhumvit footpath heading towards Bier Garten and Gullivers. There is a steady stream of falangs heading in the opposite direction , ie , towards Thermae. They seem to be in a hurry (itch : ) . Bier Garten (BG) is so so , a rather dank place , dont know what guys see in it , other than discount sex. After many reconnoitres at BG I have had only one good experience ex Bier Garten. Personally , I dont think the place is worthy of even one beer , but worthy of a look .... yes , just in case.

Arrive at Gullivers , and its almost empty of hookers. By now , they’ve gone to Angels or CM2 I suppose. I have visited the place so many times and only once saw something tempting. Over rated joint.


PIC ..... No pics allowed inside Gullivers , unless of course your takin a pic of ya girl friend whatever. This degraded shot is outside Gullivers where the tourist mums and dads sit. Lights on three palm trees to ya left. Nice spot outside , but not all that sexy. This pic (along with a lot of others : ) not worth viewing.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.


Ever onward to Big Dog Bar. As usual interesting observations. I enjoy being a Fly (on d’ wall) , do not have to participate , just observing is enough for me most of the time. Below and to my left , there is this ‘hello girl’ in knee high boots and pleated mini skirt. Her job is to take hold of the arm/hand of passing falangs and try and entice them into her employers bar. She is full of smiles and charm when doing that , but once the falang breaks away from her hold and escapes her , the smile and charm disappears in a flash. On off .. on off ... the smile , the charm. She can turn it on and off like a light switch.

Same venue has a male midget. Then I see what looks like a 5yr old girl trying very hard to engage a passing falang. He is a sucker , gives her Bt50 , then I realise this same girl is a 40 something midget , not a child at all. Maybe wife of the male midget. Female midget returns to the bar flashing the 50 at staff there and kissing it. Another 50 , how many she gets in a night ?

Big Dog waitress delivers drink (95Bt). Give her 100 note and then place a 10bt coin in her hand and say "for you , I have a big heart" (sumlup k'n , pohm jai dee). Didnt finish that beer , had enough , two big bottles in the last 11hrs. Return home empty handed knowing I have Cutey later on that same day (fingers crossed) . No mongrel dogs to accompany me home tonight.


PIC ..... Inside NEP itself. Not my kind of scene (GoGo) but hell of a lot guys visit the place. World famous. To left and out of picture , knee high boots and midgets. Pretty terrible shot. Flash on mini camera not up to it : )

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.


Next day I purposefully kept quiet , focusing on the target : Cutey. She arrives , difficulty in carrying a decent conversation so I swing into my usual tactic .... encouraging her to talk about her 'problems'. In this neck of the woods problems always involve money. True to form , she confirms , yes she has problems. And true to form Thommo tells her he has the answer : money. I offer to help her with her problems. She's no dumb doll , knows what's coming up next .... 'sexual favours'. She hasn't come to my room to talk about 'Bird Flu' : )

I go through my usual routine with a novice like her. Undo my trousers , put her hand on my cock , underpants still on. Tell her I am small (prick) to minimise her fears. Then slip her hand under my undies and encourage her to caress dick , all the time telling her how pretty she is , and how I can fix her problems etc. The rest is history. Respectable but not very exciting fuck. Looking at that gorgeous face helped. Did not try for bj or anal on this occasion. She's just not the type. She comes out of the shower , and I place an envelope containing 10x100 notes (thick .. impresses) in her hand and say "problems". She understands , thanks me and "out the door , like a whore" , she goes : ) She's coming again tomorrow. Any which way , she is going to fix those "problems" : )

I like that : "Out the door , like a whore" : )


What happened next ? A hell of a lot ... not sure if I can relate all of it , but I will try.

Sky Train to Siam Central . Out , start walking. Very dark footpath. Towards end come across a Thai Babe and ask "World Trade Centre". Get there , its a construction site. Obviously rebuilding the place. Building before no doubt adequate but plenty of money around so why not rebuild it again ? So , no chance of a Beer Garden scene. I jump in the first taxi near me , but his face is glum and he doesn’t understand my destination .... Wongwien 22 (supposedly Vietnamese whatever hooker spot). I exit his taxi pronto , dont want any more probs with taxi drivers. Second taxi understands , away we go. Arrive Wongwien , no probs. Beautiful circle park. Small but cute. But there is a hitch : no hookers there and no pimps (as reported on internet). Out of there I go to See-Yam Hotel. First taxi driver I approach at Wongwien is shit , asks for Bt100 (no meter) when I know its about 40Bt. So , I take second taxi , who uses the meter.

Now , I have not told you before , but I am a bit keen on a babe at Siam , thats one of the reasons I go there so often , but only one , in general I love the place. For me its the real Thai hooker experience , but you need to speak Thai. Arrive at Siam , and my favourite babe (FB) is there. She comes to my table and we chat as best we can (limited english/thai) , then a handsome young Thai guy walks in. Within 10 secs my babe has returned to her table. Message : “Hansum Thai guy , I am available“ , forget about falang. Within 2 mins my babe has gone , presumably to hansum Thai who is out of my view. Next I find my babe and Thai guy passing my table , obviously for ST. I do not look at her or him. Its their business , none of my business. I take note its 12.35am. Jeloos (jealous) , wondering how long my sweetheart will be away. 

Not FB.

But nice sleepy eyes , don't you think.

Sleepy = sexy.

Gal is around 5'5" or tad taller.

But she has the same problem as a lot of other girls in Bangkok .... waist slightly thick (and will get thicker in time)


 Having a nice chat with one of the senior waiters. He says girls are Bt2000 ST , but Bt1000 if hansum. I said “free”. He said “no free”. So I presume hansum Thai is going to give my FB Bt1000. If not I want to know why , and of course I want my cut (pimp fee).

Actual waiter serving me is so submissive its a bit sad. He glides around like a church mouse , head slightly lowered and to one side. When he talks to ya he bows Japanese style and smiles. Very subservient lad. Senior waiter says submissive one goes to Wat/Temple every day. Funny isnt it ... such a spirtual lad working in a sinful place like See-Yaam. Maybe he prays for the LON's redemption. With the tips I am giving him , he can pray for mine too : )


I think it was around 1.15am when I checked Back Road and a nice roll up of babes , head count : 97 , some very respectable indeed. Taxi driver says Bt500 ST Bt2000 all night. To Big Dog Bar .. still open and nice waitresses chat with me. Great observation post .. Big Dog. They didnt close the bar until 1.55am. Must have had a call from the police saying they could stay open later that night , providing of course they greased policemans hand. Within 1 min of bar rollers coming down , thus shutting the place up , two police arrived on a motorbike. Co-ordinated look about it , methinks.

Jeloos , jeloos , I am jeloos ..... 2am , back to See-Yam to see if my FB (favourite babe) has returned from sucking and fucking with hansum Thai. She’s not there ... she’s had about two hours with him , what more does she want. So out to the Back Road I go , start walking down the entire strip , when a fancy car pulls up alongside me , I keep walking but look back and see the face of a gal who operates out of See Yam Cofee Shop for Bt2000 ST , and then simultaneously , back door of same car opens and who should hop out but FB. Does she sell it on the back road too ? Not possible , she is a 9 and Back Road girls are 5-6.5’s in the main. She'd look out of place on Back Road. Couldnt work it out. Recognised her presence , but kept walking. Guy in car might be her boyfriend or lover. Few short metres down the road , hopped into a cruising taxi , sad hearted ..... my FB is selling it by the roadside ? !

Jeloos , jeloos , I am jeloos , tell taxi driver to go around the block , returning to the Back Road again. Wanna see if FB sells it by the roadside. We get back to Back Road and I see girls packed in a pick up truck , then I see police everywhere , but no FB , possibly she was one of them in the pick up truck , not sure. Taxi went past too quickly , didnt get a chance to confirm if it was her or not that I saw. Police might as well fuck FB , a 9 eh ? : )

Police stop my taxi , swing drivers door open aggressively and start yelling at him. He wai’s really big (palms to his eyebrows = “yeh I’ll kiss your ass anytime” : ) Another policeman rips open my door , my elbow was resting on the inside and thus I dip down a bit when arm rest was taken away from me. He asked in Thai : “where you go” , I said “tee nee” (here). A bit of a smart ass reply from me I admit , but fuck them , they are behaving like pigs towards driver and me. Then my policeman says to the other policeman : “Ive got a falang over here (passenger)”. Other policeman (senior) immediately closes drivers door , mine closes my door, taxi driver smiles and takes off.

Tourism (and thus cash flow) is way down. No need to hassle falang. Commonsense prevails in Thailand , not so Flipsville.

Back home I go. This time I have the garbo’s following me down the street. To complete the picture tomorrow morning there should be rats scurrying around. Stay tuned , they might appear on cue. See Garbo pic below.


PIC ..... Garbo. Not keen on me taking pic. Not uncommon amongst Thais (dislike of camera). Even more so when your job is 'garbo' : )

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

Before hopping in to bed I see its 4.40am , dont ask me what I did between Back Road and bedtime , I dont know (brain fade). Podcast , podcast (to the rescue).

A big day ensues , another session with Cute face. Possibly my last .... as I plan to go to Pattaya soon. 




A regular reader brought the subject of podcasting to my attention. After 5 mins of research on google , I agree , podcasting seems to have potential. When I get back home from this trip I will do more research about podcasting , ask around , and see if its for me.

As a 15yr old I nearly enrolled in a broadcasting (radio) course. Imagined myself on radio.

Maybe now I can realise my dream as "Podcaster Pete" ?

Imagine ... listening live to the LON's grunt and groan to Petes huge member , PP struggle with the Thai language , have a punch up with taxi drivers , fart indiscretely etc.

Could it happen .... T's "Daily Diary" buried under the bollocks of PP ?

Goodbye Thommo , hello Podcaster Pete ? 

Whattya reckon.

Which is better ... the written word or the spoken one ? 






At a pod near you soon. 


Fortunately I was able to recover from the hard night before and also the disappointment of seeing my favourite babe (FB) being bar fined. The gals gotta eat , the gals gotta eat.

Another day at the office. Cute face arrives ... I get more familiar with her this time , sitting her down on bed and rubbing my cock into her cheek , giving her a big hint (bj). But she doesn’t take the hint , so I lay her down and give her a missionary , then roll her over and squeeze cock in tiny asshole. "Jep jep" she says , ie , hurt hurt ( I love it : ) Put some ky gel on , back to her asshole. Wash cock and fuck her missionary style again. She's still a starfish but a very pretty one at that. I forgive her for not being a pro' whore. If she hangs around me long enough , she'll become one : )

Apparently she has told boss she is sick. Can earn more in 2/3hrs with me than 3 days at the shop. I cant be bothered getting involved , only got a short time to 'thrash' her before medical treatment back home , which might make a eunuch out of me. Just as well I enjoy being a Fly on the wall. Might have nothing more to do than that , in a few weeks time : )

So , what to do tonight. Left accom 11pm , had a look at Big Dog area , no. Decide to catch taxi to Siam and see FB (favourite babe). First three taxis say Bt100 , dont want to use meter. Fourth taxi uses meter and its Bt50. At Siam no sight of FB , perhaps the police have scared her away. At front 'Office' there is an old Thai man in his seventies with a looker hooker. She keeps looking across at me too , and he is aware of it. Seems she caters for the elderly : )

To the Back Road and only three girls , one a 7.5. For the first time I notice a Beetle and Bugs sidewalk restaurant , take pic (see below). Restaurateur (pic) said her food (bugs) are very delicious , “would you like to try some“. Not now , maybe later says I. She asks me do they have same in my country... "not likely" says I , she nods head in agreement. The 7.5 hooker fronts up and buys some cockroaches , grasshoppers etc and tucks into them straight away.


PICs above ..... Back Road. Lady has about eight different bugs/beetles/grubs to choose from. Ones in tray on right look like big cockroaches. See close up pic of right tray. Possibly the secret behind Thai girls soft complexion .. roaches : )


These big beetles (above) look like a Thai cockroach but maybe they are not , possibly only a relation of the roach. Anyway 7.5 babe ate a few of them right in front of me. I asked her : "Uhroy My" ? = Delicious not ? She replied : "Uhroy" (delicious). For sure I wont be bar fining her. Watching them disappear into her mouth , then her crunching on them like they were potato chips. That will stay with me forever. Imagine where those bugs have been before she ate them : )

Back to Siam Coffee Shop itself , still no BF. Off to a Thai entertainment area called "Hollywood". Doesnt seem to be all that great. Lonely Planet gives it a big write up , but it seems tame to me. I parked at Hollywood Awards , a big disco. Falangs with their b grade LON's were streaming in. Not many Thais , and those that were there not good looking. Doesnt seem the right place to be. Hop in taxi and out of there. 100mtrs from the disco there is a happening , Thai one , heaps of younguns pouring into a building. Will check that out next trip. Hollywood Disco is not the happening , 100 mtrs away ,opposite Dance Fever is a happening. No name at this stage.

Before we exit the Hollywood grounds my taxi driver is stopped by a guy in regular clothes posing as security/parking attendant. He asks for 10Bt for taxi to leave Hollywood compound. Driver reluctant. Second guy appears with powerful torch shining in drivers face .... two of them now , starting to get heavy. Driver argues with them then hands over Bt10. Its bullshit , two con artists making a fortune. Every taxi exiting with a passenger has to pay Bt10 levy to these guys otherwise they'll have their door kicked in/whatever. As we depart I said to driver "Mafia" , he nods head 'yes'. Tell him I will give him Bt10 extra when I pay fare. Nice guy. Significant number of Bangkok taxi drivers are no good , but there are good ones too.


PIC ..... Hollywood Disco , to right of pic. Poor pic , not enough light. Will check this area out again another day. This trip , nothing much happened at Hollywood.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.


Back to Siam and Coffee Shop populated with some 7.5’s and 8’s. Seems FB is not coming tonight , made enough money night before. Out of Siam and to the back road which now has about 80/90 girls , some of them are 7.5’s . Overall , better quality than Thermae. So much for the Police raid the other night. I hop in a passing taxi and whilst leaving the area , I said to taxi driver Bt500 for ST he said 500 or 1000 depends on the girl. So , 1000 for sure for falang. To Big Dog area but I am just not up to it. Drank a lot night before, its 1am so , home , drinking canned Sprite bought at the local 7/11. Rats no where to be seen. Stray dogs , garbo's ..... have all deserted me.

If it wasnt for Cutey , think I would have left Bangkok by now. Problem with FB (Siam) , we have a platonic relationship going. Asked her how much ST and she answered as if she was telling me what she charges customers (not me). “Bt2000” she said. She didnt realise I was enquiring as a potential customer. So I took her by the hand and said 'song pahn ok' = 2000 ok. Did her in Siam hotel room metres away. Curiosity/vanity satisfied. Worth Bt2000 ? ... I think so , I dont shag girls of her kind that often : )

So , for the third day in a row , Cute fronts again. She cant get enough (money). I tell her "must have s'moke" (blow job). She feigns not understanding the expression "s'moke". So then I demo' with hands , she gets message and says 'no can do'. OK babe so your not co-operating , now you're in for a thrashing.

Gave her a long and hard fuck ... "jep jep" as usual. Turn her around lift her ass up in the air and slide it in , courtesy of ky gel. Wash cock and fuck her even longer and more energetic second time , 'jep jep' , she's loving it : )

For sure , in time she'd bj. Thai babes do not bj for strangers , but for boyfriends etc I am sure they do. Hardcore whores do it for anybody , providing the money is right. Flips do it anyhow , anytime , anywhere , money not the issue .. "its all part of the service" (Philippines). Is for me anyway ("hansum" : )

No point in hanging around for Cute , she is not co-operative in the BJ Department. Missionary is fine , but I want more than that. I interpreted "no bj" as a sign she does not like me and , surprise surprise , 'hansum' as I am (not) , she is only doing it for the money. Puts a dampener on the romance. Her heart is with her boyfriend. Another rejection : ) Best for me to move on.

Took her address for future contact. She can not read or write english but she will get someone who can. Just want to keep in contact , without getting involved in money transfers , so when I call next time we can resume bj classes : ) No email she said ..... good sign , she is not fishing on the Internet.

I tell her that I am leaving Thailand tomorrow (not true) and that I will write to her . And then I gave her the nicest gift I brought with me on this trip , all $5 of it. She was thrilled.

That night I was lost for something new to do. Decided on a early sober night , prepack bags , up 6am and to Pattaya arriving early in the day.

Where there is Thommo ,

there's a pretty woman : )

Next page will be about Pattaya , aka , 'Animal Farm'.




Up 6am final packing of bags. Decide to walk 15/20 mins with 20kgs of bags (4 in all) rather than risk a crappy taxi driver. To Ekemai bus terminal on the Sky Train. Bus driver takes off , and later on and at over 100kpm he's talking on his cellphone. One hand on the steering wheel , other on the cell phone. Speedometer is not working , dont know what speed he is travelling at , neither does he.

Two hours later we are at the Pattaya bus terminal. Catch a Songthaew for 20bt then more walking with 20kg of baggage. Check in same joint as I have for the last 28yrs Bt500. Around 7pm I head for nearest motorcyc taxi , surprised he knows buffalo bar , hands me helmet , but I come prepared with my own floppy cap. Place that on first to protect my head from other peoples lice then place helmet on top of cap. Lots of different people using those helmets. Motor cyc driver acknowledges , there is a 'hair lice' risk with the helmets.

Arrive at Buffalo Bar some distance away Bt40 taxi fare. Nice location , back from street away from the pollution and noise , bar itself has a good atmosphere , greenery , seating for lots of folks.


PIC ..... Poor quality pic. Confusing , suggest dont bother to view : ) Buffalo Bar from outside. Left centre , fiery red .. thats the entrance and bar in background (inside). Notice all the vegetation , some inside too. Quite a large area (longish) , good vibes , enough attractive girls and modest prices.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.


PIC ..... Nice spooky pic. "The Castle". Facing Buffalo Bar this spooky place (Castle) is to the right 10mtrs away. Flogging with whips etc , you know , silly prices too. For the 'mentally deranged' only : )

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Reader of we will call 'Monty' asked me to have a peep at Buffalo. He agreed to pay my drinks bill. He's in for a shock cause there seems to be about forty or more girls employed at Buffalo , mostly 4's and 5's (on a scale of ten) , and I unashamedly bought them all a drink on Monty's account . They await his arrival with great eagerness : )

Early on had a 6.5 and a 7 gal park near my table , hoping for Ladies Drinks and bar fine of course. The 'lookers' always gravitate towards me : ) I take the 7 , turns out , she's 27yrs old with two kids. She's in good shape for her age. We'll call her '27'. What a teen beauty she must have been in days of yore. So there are some cuties there , but very much the exception at around 7.30pm , the time when I visited.

I was surprised to find no one seems to speak English at BB , except perhaps Cashier staff. An example of their lack of sophistication : Tried to get some paper towel or napkin to wipe my hands. Gal nearby goes off and returns , plonking a toilet roll on my table. Good one : )

Anyway I buy '27' a ladies drink at Bt75 my beer at 45bt , better prices than Bangkok. They tell me barfine for short time is Bt200 and gal expects Bt1000. Long time bar fine is Bt475 , gal Bt1500. Don't know why their rates are so much higher than other Beer Bars in Pattaya or are they ? Maybe there has been inflation with Pattaya Beer Bars ? Nothing goes down.


Then a candle scenario re the Kings birthday takes place .. '27' excuses herself and leaves me , and everyone else leaves the bar also and heads out to the front of the building to sing 'carols'. I am sitting in BB by myself. Thats ok if they went away for 5/7 mins but it went on and on and on. Felt ignored , nothing more to do , got all the info I want , don't wanna screw a 27yr old with two kids , paid my bill (but not Monty's) and out of there. Good bar , only problem ... too many 4's and 5's , and in my case no one seemed to speak English , except the girls behind the bar itself (Cashier and assistant). Worth a peek and maybe more , popular with falangs. You might rate the 4's and 5's as 5's and 6's or beyond . Overall , on a scale of ten I would give BB a *seven (see update below)

First motorcyc driver I approached knew the place , so I dont think you will have any problems finding it. Took BB's calling card just in case next motorcyc taxi didnt know the place.

UPDATE : *See my second visit to BB , below. Different rating (on a scale of 10).

To Lek Hotel for evening buffet ... Bt180 , 4pm to 10.30pm. Good , I got value. Brek-Lunch buffet 7am - 1pm Bt117. I will be there tomorrow. Enjoyed their buffets on previous trips.

Next , checked out Beer Bars opposite Sabai Room massage place. In days of yore cuties , this time , nothing to take the eye , or take home. Next , Beach Promenade. Get off motorcyc taxi north of Mikes Dept Store. Walk the walk , heading South. Numbers of gals down from 12 months ago , but still quite a lot. Did not see anything special .. only "b. grade merchandise" on display at the time I was there (after 8pm ?).

Back to my room , type this out. Its still a bit early , I am feeling sleepy , would love to crash but cant afford to do that , only two nights in Pattaya. The Clock Tower looms , cant waste valuable whoring time sleeping.


To a previous favourite control tower .. Lucifers. It's too easy , sitting at Lucifers Bar overlooking the passing parade. But there are two problems 1. A small beer is Bt130 and 2. the passing parade is piss poor .... nothing like previous FFF3 expedition . Low season = low numbers including spunks which have been non existent to date Not one spunk sighted in about 90mins perving at Lucifers. Whatta they do , go and work in the rice fields during the off season ? I dont think so. Maybe they work the Internet , chatting to lovers they met during high season and gain a cash flow that way ? They were no where to be seen on this first night.

Fortunately the Lucifer waitress recognised me from 3/4 months ago. That did my ego good. Think I hung in at L's until 12.15am.


Up and down Walking Street I go , I am lost .. no where to go. Finally settle on a kitchen table at the front beer bar Simon beer bar centre , opposite the entrance to Tony's Disco. It's another control tower for me , can see all entering/exiting Tony's and passers by. Unfortunately the table is not elevated , cant have everything : )

A guy from Bahrain comes to me .... "remember me ... Siam Hotel". We chat for a while . He says "Siam girls can be had for Bt1000 , they are all clean and work as Bank Clerks" etc by day. Didnt challenge anything he said , if he wants to believe that , I will let him. I think he has been reading too many comics : ) He also talks of girls he met , liked , fucked , only to be disappointed when he called again 2/3yrs down the track and they were not there. I call that “bun in the oven to the extreme”. I tell him , “you have to strike while the irons hot , no delaying“. Little does he know , rarely do I practice what I preach. I've got some 1/2yr buns in the oven myself : )

I call his attention to the big Blonde haired western babe sitting at the bar behind us , big ass and tits , approaching 40yrs methinks. She crosses the road all the time and goes in and out of Tony's. I asked him 'Russian' , he said "no , German and she takes no shit. Guys approach her and if she does not like them , she tells them to piss off". Not a whore apparently , just out for a good time with genuine whoremongers .. guys who know how to fuck. She might like playing the role of the whore to them (without pay) ? Anyway , she doesnt look like she sings in a church choir on the weekends , thats for sure.

Bahrain lad suggests I do not drink anymore and go home 'n rest. I must look bad : ) He leaves. I see an unusually dressed babe or whatever on other side of road. Go to her/him , and turns out to be a Filipino transvestite I will call : "Lost" (she had a lost look about her). See pic below. 'Lost' said she has been living in Thailand for one year now , illegally no doubt. This 'gal' has a big advantage over the local Thai Katamites (trannies) ... a thorough grasp of the English language for starters. Only problem , she ain't attractive like some of the Thai trannies. Had to give her 9 for her outfit ............ bloody awful , but bloody beaut : ) Makes her stand out in a crowd for all the wrong reasons. She's a strange one that , wouldnt be surprised if her parents and friends in the Philippines are in no hurry to see her again. On a scale of ten gave her 1 for looks , 2 for trying. Overall 1.5 , she was lucky , I am feeling generous.


PIC ..... Transexual. Lost soul , far from home (Philippines). My vote for the worst outfit sighted this tour. To add to his/her 'tragedy' , bottom of trousers were dragging along the ground and looked grubby. Idea behind that .. hide very high heels , meaning he/her is very short indeed.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.


The waitress back at Simon Beer Bar never served me again from this point on. She saw me chatting the Tranny , and apparently that was enough for her. Must have thought I was queer or something. Paid my bill at her bar and then tried to get served by a pretty one at another bar. Nothing doing , she's having nothing to do with me .. ignores me. Looks like they don’t serve drunks around here : ) Off to another bar and success , they want to serve me. Must be desperate for a dollar , if they are willing to serve someone like me : )

Drunk as a skunk I head home 3.10am , I know when I've had enough. Wake up later on that morning with a medium sized hangover. Will go easy tonight .... have to pack my bags and check out from Safe Haven at 5.30am the following morning and head for Bangkok Airport 'n Chiangrai. Gotta get those necklaces : )

Don’t think I will visit Pattaya again for some time. Its a case of been there done that (too often). Will have a break from this 'Animal Farm'. However , what I say and what I do rarely have anything in common : )


So a quiet day and a quiet night planned. Will be travelling continuously from 5.30am to 6pm non stop tomorrow. Yet Chiangrai is only 1hr 15mins from bangkok. Hard to explain (see below 'traffic') , but there you go a 5.30am takeoff from Pattaya is what it is.


Off to Buffalo Bar again. Enter , Wow ! the place has had a metamorphosis. Last night '4 & 5" girls wearing trousers , this night black mini skirts and seems different girls , in fact ..... pretty girls (6's and 7's) . Yeh I see straight away about 5 x 7's , what happened to the previous shift ? Girls dancing 'pole' style on mini stage too. Completely different look. Obviously this is the look that makes Buffalo popular. Possibly I saw the mundane day shift , early last night , and at 8pm every day shift changes and "Ladies of the Night" (LON's) front up ?

Tell a curly haired babe , "Beer Chang" , then when she brings the beer I realise : 'hard face' not for me. Tell her thanks very much and then give out with the unfortunate word : "bye bye". Straight away I think , "Thommo your going to be unpopular here. You encourage the girl then piss her off".

OK , so move closer to a pole dancing girl , then spy a nice simple attractive girl to my right. Invite her to my table and buy her a ladies drink straight away , cause I know out of the corner of my eye , curly haired one is watching to see if I truly am an asshole : ) It's a big deal with these girls , buying a Bt75 ladies drink. Helps with their employment. Management no doubt fires those who do not bring in sufficient ladies drinks.

What I like about this gal I've got now , and we will call : LD , is she is giggly girty. That is , behaving like a new girl on the block , yet she is 22yrs old and has one kid (Thommo always extracts the vital info early on : ) She actually has a filipino mannerism , eg , when I ask her to do something different or say something to her extra complimentary , she scratches/drags her long hair downwards. Hard to explain , but guys who've seen it know what I mean , it means from girls point of view : "excited , unable to give a sensible reply". I'm trying to say she is shy/embarrassed with compliments whatever. OK , bought her two ladies drinks , myself two drinks , cheap , pay bill , out of there , ever forward , gypsy genes (gotta keep movin).

Hey , gotta upgrade Buffalo Bar (after 8pm) to 7.75. Yeh , definitely worth checking out. Nice vibes , environment.... pity its not on Walking St (lazy ass Thommo). PS : Still no english language though. Doesnt worry me , good vibrations more important. Approached a Thai man and woman sitting at table ,asked them if they are the owners , they say no , management , but yes owner is Thai. Tell them the good and the bad (no english) re Buffalo. They are mature and thank me for my compliments and suggestions. Thats why Buffalo is different .... Thai owner and management. Able to recruit nicer girls. Falangs have problem in doing same , especially when its done via their ex bar girl wife. She can only recruit whore types , these Buffalo people have recruited girls who are neither virgins or whores. No doubt some of them do have a whore mentality , but I didn't come across any on my brief visits.

UPDATE : Forgot to add .. gave management a vivid description of Monty and the terms of payment (within 90 days). They thanked me for the briefing and said "no worries , if he don't pay , he no lay " : )


Motorcyc taxi driver outside BB , tell him "Walking St, 40Bt" , he agrees. Now , to cut a long and sour story short this guy turns out to be a cunt , and I told him so. I told him in thai language he was no good and in english he is an asshole. Quite sure he understands "asshole". Most probably cause he has been told that on occasions before. At walking street I told him , no no , we go to Tourist Police (sitting 15mtrs away) and sort this out.

He meekly pushes me away. I straddle front wheels of motorcyc, and say no , give me back my Bt100 (he gave me only Bt40 change for a Bt40 trip). Thats when I told him he was an asshole. Now fella's when he pushed me meekly back , I was tempted to push him with all my force off the motorcyc and onto the road , but commonsense prevailed , cause I have so much experience in third world countries. And listen to me now fella's : "you can win the first round , but you will not win the second round" , in countries like Thailand/Philippines. A mob of folks will rapidly come forward to support their fellow countryman and clean you up ... hospital case if your lucky , death if your unlucky.

So , I told him I will take his licence number and go straight to Tourist Police 15mtrs away and report him. Took his number , as I walked briskly towards police heard him take off (of course). Main thing , spoiled his night (he'll be wondering if cops will come after him) cause for sure he spoiled my night , for five mins.

But I am not going to let a pip squeak jerk like him spoil all of my night , only 5 mins , yes : ) So , no talking to Police , that will take hours.

To the new Angel Witch GoGo ... empty. About 15 typical gogo girls shuffling feet. Beer Bt100 the lad said. Did not sit down. Dispiriting sitting in a place all by yourself. Must have atmosphere. Add to that , the girls would jump me (only customer) for Ladies Drinks. Commercial , commercial ..... don't like. Try to keep away from commercial attitudes as much as possible. Hard to do when your a Monger : )

To my favourite kitchen table . ... at Simon Beer Bar Centre. See pic. It's right on the footpath. I take a seat. Girls there call out "welcome welcome'. I help them and call out 'welcome welcome' too. Falangs look at me and wonder who is this weirdo yelling out 'hello hello' , welcome welcome' in same accent as Thais. Thommo that's who : )


Sweet lady at other bar who served me last night , wants my custom too. They all want me tonight. Thats life , sometimes you stink sometimes your the flavour. Tonight I seem to be the flavour. Thais take time to warm up. They saw me last night , "harmless" , so now they are inviting me to join them.

Back to the Office (my room) to type this out , cause got a feeling going to get awfully drunk tonight. It's my last night in Pattaya , might not be back for 1/2yrs (Brazil beckons : )

Out into the fray again. One beer at Lucifers , beer too expensive there and no passing parade , nothing like previous trip anyway. There is a new Tiger Beer promo girl tonight. Feel like snapping her , but I'm too shy. Enter disco itself , some cuties inside. Then out of disco to Tony's for a direct comparison. Think Lucifer still attracts the best chicks , plus Tony's is an Arab , Indian meeting point. I found them bad mannered previous trip , actually muscling me off my chair and table. Well , I wasn't prepared to rub shoulders with them again on this trip and the babes were just so-so .. out of there. Lucifers is popular with the African American (AA) falang set cause there are AA singers there. Cute girls are starry eyed for anyone who sings at Lucifers including all the AA's , who seem to ignore their overtures. One I saw ignored by AA would have been a 7 at least. Reminds me of the old days when I had a band ... twas knockin em back too : )

Out of Tony's and back to my kitchen table at Simons. Start drinking Sprite , gotta be clear headed , packed and ready for Mini Van pick up 5.30am .. to Bangkok/Chiangrai. So , change of heart , no heavy drinking tonight.

Home by 2am , set alarm and surprise surprise alarm works , going off at 4am. Pack bags , mini van arrives , then to another hotel for a pickup , but passenger there is not ready. I tell driver , "lets go" and go we do. At Bus Terminal , find there are only 6 of us in the huge bus. Who leaves a beach resort area at 6am in the morning ? Only weirdo's like Thommo.

Chiangrai , and trolling on motorcyc , here we come.


Daily Diary




Took only 90mins from Pattaya to Bangkok Airport. Nice going. Now got 9 hours to kill before my plane for Chiangrai takes off. Woman at Pattaya insisted I catch 6am cause she had heard there might be major traffic jams on this day. So , at Bangkok Airport leave x 2 bags at 'Baggage Left' counter 70Bt each bag. Catch Airport bus to Nana bus stop Sukhumvit Road. Along the way , met an Austrian lad. He said he comes to Thailand to play golf , so cheap he says , Bt100 eighteen rounds. I said : "found a good bar Buffalo" , he immediately cut me off and said "no no , no bar dont like , golf golf". He talked a bit more about golf then said : "What was the name of that bar" : )

To Safe Haven's Restaurant , eat up big cause most prob will not eat again today. Type this out , prepare page , to Internet for email etc.

Pattaya was quite good , mainly cause of Buffalo Bar. Glad I went there , nice atmosphere , some cute girls (not a lot) and prices are right , especially when Monty is paying : )

Chiangrai and trolling the Restaurants here I come. I dont expect a lot of action. Winding down now , had enough , time to prepare for re-entry into the real world.

Return to Bangkok Airport 1pm , no sign of traffic jams to or from Bangkok (misinformation ?). Then told plane leaving 40mins late 5pm , then told leaving 6pm , then it leaves 6.25pm. Up out of bed 4am Pattaya , plane takes off for Chiangrai 6.25pm. A long day.

Had a 40's something LON next to me on the plane , she'd like to recruit me , but no way Jose. Show her the pic of Cute ... that shut her up. Cute is half her age and twice as good looking : )

Arrive Safe Haven Chiangrai , straight to Night Bazaar and buy 50 , yes 50 more necklaces. Reason ... boss was not there and employee offering necklaces at crazy price , much better than boss did when I bought 25. They gave me a little plastic tray. I started to select from the wide range .. when I'd got to third necklace I turn around and a gorgeous gal fronts up close to me , looks me straight in the eye. Best looking babe on this tour , looking 17yrs maybe 18. Expensive clothes , has money. She's on the cell phone and looking at same necklaces as me (feigning interest ?).

She stayed there , almost touching my shoulders. I was frustrated , didnt know what to do , turn around and talk to her ? (she's still on cellphone) or what. By the time I had got to 38 necklaces decided to make a move , turned around and asked her "would you like to take one" (necklace from my tray). She declined in such a lovely feminine way. She picks a couple up puts them down , all the time talking on cellphone. Maybe she was talking to her Mummy , eg : "Mummy , Ive got this ageing falang next to me , he's buying a huge amount of necklaces , I only want one. Looks like he has got money , what shall I do" ?

Anyway , at necklace number 43 she glided away not looking back , never to be seen again. Too young , too wealthy. Think she was just curious as to how many I was going to buy.

So now Ive got a total of 75 necklaces minus say two already given away. Add to that 50 thai silk mini purses. Gotta get 25 more silk purses in Chiangmai.

I know what your saying : "and then backtrack to Chiangrai and buy more necklaces" : )

Got enough 'leg openers' to take me to retirement. Any left over , I will take with me to Whorist Heaven.


To Ayes Restaurant opposite entrance to Night Bazaar , sweet and sour vegetables , two beer sodts (draught) , home and a good sleep. I'm happy , back in my favourite retirement village .... Chiangrai.


Woke up next morning , thinking FB (Favourite Babe) at Siam Coffee Shop will be worried. I havent fronted Siam three nights in a row. Its about 5 days ago when I last spoke to her. Thats when she walked out in front of me with a hansum young Thai guy. Before she went with the Thai , she hit me for a trip back home. Asked me when I leave Thailand can she come with me. Has a legitimate job during day , so maybe she could get a visa.

It would be good sex back home cause for a while she would be heavily dependant on me. But expensive sex , air fare , 'shopping' at Western prices etc. Cheaper to bang her brains out in Bangkok and leave it all behind , but that will not be happening cause she butterflied on me ... went with a Thai , right under my nose : )

Sometimes they slip through my finger , this time one (me) slipped through her fingers. Happens to them (girls) too no doubt. Should I dash back to Bangkok a day early and see if she is there (at Siam) and give her a farewell thrashing ? Whilst fucking her say "you want to come with me , you want to come with me". And she replies , "yes Thommo but fuck me hard first" : )

Whank , whank : )

Time for action. First eat at Ayes , then off to first stop .. Sinambin Road and the garland singalong place. Gorgeous girl there , absolutely gorgeous. I arrive and she is still working there and says "remember me , you gave me ...... gift". I said yes remember you (but didnt for a while).

Went to take pic of her but Thai guy nearby told her and other girls to move away , no pic.

So , on motorbike to small T intersection (riding north to south direction) turn left and 2/3 little cantinas. Stop at one with most motorbikes parked outside = one with most girls : ) Stay for half hour or more listening to various singers and taking snaps. Bought two girls ladies drinks. Ask for bill , it comes and is 40Baht more than it should be. I go to Cashier to query it , they tell me the extra 40Bt is for ice (nahm kang). My face turns sour , and I tell them no where in Thailand do they charge for ice. Anyway its pay or trouble , that for sure. I pay and tell them the place is no good and I will never return. This happening in Chiangrai ? , it was a disappointment for me , a fan of Chiangria's non commercial attitude.

Singer at tin shack singalong place , where they charged me for ice (Sorry PIC removed). Gal looks like the product of a falang passing through town. Could have been me , in days of yore ? Lusting after my daughter ? See her right boob , bit of a rise there. She's got nice boobs. Nothing wrong with the face either. This girl is accustomed to getting Baht50 ladies drinks of which she would get about 10Bt. Living in the fast lane : ) She doesnt know it ... she could earn real money somewhere else. Doesnt know what she is worth. Pity. These are the kind of girls you can get , if you speak Thai and are not in a hurry.

The other two in pic are my 'harem' , bought them ladies 'dink' each (non alcoholic). They were the only two free girls in the place when I arrived. All others with customers. Both these two girls severely under aged I would say. They looked 15yrs , and working as hospitality girls selling alcohol to dirty old perverts like me. Anyway , they are in safe hands (Thommo).

To my knowledge , no bar fining in these places. Dinks girls only. Of course guys make 'other arrangements' , if they see someone they like.


On the bike to another road with some cantina's. Must write down road name next time. I go to the other end of a line of cantinas , about six in all. Take motorcyc close to front door first one , see a reasonable looking girl in side. Off bike , order one beer , take a snap. Bt55 for a large bottle of Chang. Price is good. No charge for nahm kang (ice). Normally I try and avoid ice but the beer is just not cold , so nahm kang it is.

Two doors up enter another cantina. Snap girl there. Some unhappy Thais in this one. They dont look too friendly. Get bill and its loaded with 'ice charge' , only costing more this time. They charge whatever they like for the ice , so beware lads. This point on I will ask "any charge for ice". Its a con.


Then to 'Sea' Restaurant where I have seen cuties before. Off bike , enter , four thai guys and three waitresses only. Girls try and get me to sit down but they are not attractive so I ask is my falang friend there. They say "no". I say did he call , they say "no" I say thanks and out of there. Those girls are not worth the price of a beer.

To cantina same one as FFF3. Same girls there , amazing. None fired or wandered off , same team. Take pics , maybe better pics than FFF3. Have a beer , chat. Saw nice babe walking past. She works in bar down road. I ask cantina gal to keep eye on my motorcyc and head for the bars (3) further down laneway. Grab what appears to be a nice hospitality girl. Turns out she is Akha , ie , Chinese. Offspring of illegal border crossers and mountain hilltribe , opium growers etc.

She pulls her chair right up against mine. Not shy this one. 21yrs old , no babies. Vital stats are always harvested early on : ) She's got great hands which move all over me , including my cock in the darkened atmosphere. Told her I give her Bt500 to come to my ge how , short time tomorrow. She nodded yes , but not tomorrow she's got mens. I said no worries my cock is not big , same as Thai. She puts her hand down and feels my cock , starts squeezing and caressing it and balls underneath. Wow , what hands , so sexy I took pic of them (hands , not balls : ). Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.


She introduces me to other girls and oh oh , there is a better one I missed when I entered. Too late , already discussed ST with first one. Well I ejaculated (turp style) in my pants she felt it 'shooting' and giggled , kept caressing it as it (dick) disappeared (shrivelled up).

Out of there I go , promising to return next day with copies of pics. Promised all the cantina girls copies , so busy time tomorrow night. It'll be like a postman pulling up out front of cantina's on motorcyc and delivering letters , in this case pics.

Its been a hard days night , many cantina's visited , assignations arranged , much alcohol consumed.

To bed , Chiangrai is looking good. 



And where did those lips end up ?


And where did those lips end up ?

I don't have to explain do I : )

Gonna return there again one day : ) 


So , woke up about 8am , to Market and finally located the person I bought the magnificent soap off (FFF3). Ideal soap for a monger too , its called "Porn". Name written in English. I wanted four , she only had three 'Porn' but said the one called "Three Legs" is the same , same factory etc. With names like that , I suspect the manufacturer is a deviate.

I was tempted to tap left leg , right leg , then prick under trousers = three legs , but commonsense prevailed. Also after much confusion , located shop for material (camera pouch) , another shop for toggle and cord , and yet another shop for tailor , three shops in all. To make three pouches for 'S' cameras. Will buy Series 3 later on , before next tour. Series 2 is getting better with practice , but still severely limited in connection with no flash low light shots. Need a spare pouch for each camera = 4 pouches in all.

Then to Kodak Shop , nice girl there. She looks at all the shots that are to be processed. She can see I have been to six or more cantina's and photo'd twelve or more girls. For sure , she now knows I am a 'moll man'. No hope of ever dating her : )
Actually I checked out about eleven cantina's. Not bad for an ageing Monger.

Impressive , how I can recover from lots of booze night before. In reality though , I would have drunk only about 5/7 small bottles of beer previous night. Sometimes they brought me large bottles but I did not drink much of them. Only Baht 60 for a big one , so I can afford to waste the stuff : ) Drinking water before sleeping and two litres on arising helps recovery too.


Tonight I will play the role of Postman. Gotta sort the pics out in order of 'run' (deliveries) back in my room. Dont want the girls seeing the pics of all the other girls = Thommo a moll man. Will deliver in order I took them , so no confusion for me. Will pull up on Honda 100cc , beep horn and deliver pic/s. Will not get off bike , many places to call ... d' Postie is busy today. In addition to postie duties I've got a babe calling after hours tonight. Shag her brains out. Chiangrai is a sleepy town. This gal is going to be awakened with some vigorous fucking courtesy of Thommo. Pre radiotherapy this could be the last time my dick rises , so gotta go down with a bang , literally.

So limited grog (theory) , deliver pics , hit on Sinambin Garland girl who remembered me from FFF3. Try Sea Restaurant again , if girls still no good I will ask them "are your sure my falang friend has not called" , and out of there yet again , without buying anything : )

Chiangrai has never been so perky (sexy). I must be doing something right : )

Now , I have a m.o. ........ motorcyc .. troll ... pics ... arrange after hours rendezvous . Fucking provincial girls , way to go.

My fishing expedition is coming to a good conclusion , it seems. The fish in Chiangrai are finally biting. Years of experience go into it , newbies would have to bang the regular falang style LON's , who of course are more 'commercial'.

Yeh , well got off to an early start this night. The girls all said they start at 6pm , so off I go to deliver my letters (pics). A little confusion at times , as to where I did take pics and where I did not (cantina's). One girl asked me "where's my pic" , thought I had not snapped her , so some confusion. Well organised but not perfectly organised , it seems : ) Eventually I got around to all the 'traps' and delivered the mail (pics) to all concerned.

Once all that was done I called in to Garland spot , tall good looking 17/18yr old gal comes out towards me and surprise , surprise , speaks good english. "You looking for my sister". Oh , I see the similarity in the face , only this younger one has not got the accentuated beauty of older sister. "Yes , I am looking for her" (older more bodacious one) , say I. "She not come , working Tour Guide ...................... "(name of company she works for). Seems 'Gorgeous' babe will not be working at Garland for a while , got too much tour guide work right now. I ask younger sister to pass on my latest of corny gifts : silk purse and necklace (all 35Bt of it). Young sis' offers to write down older sis' address , but I am impatient , impetuous and disappointed classy sister is not there and therefore decline her offer of sis' work address. I can not proposition bodacious sis at work , so no use to me (work address).




Out of 'Garland' I go , troll around checking my 'quarry' (various cantina's) seeing that they are all in attendance and behaving themselves. Control , control , I am a control freak.

Have gained significant merit returning to their little bamboo huts and giving out pics. Doubt if Thai guys keep their word , I did and now have greater respect. I can see it , in the way they gather around me. I can imagine them saying : "Strange these falangs , they say they will come back and come back they do , strange lot". Not assholes at all ! : )

At Clock Tower Lane , Akha babe doesnt look so good sober. I can hear you now : "I told ya so" : ) Tonight , I do not get excited when I look at her face. Know she's got the hands and would be a vigorous fuck , but now think I will pass on her. Getting thoughts of jetting to Bangkok , checking in at Siam Hotel , and banging at least one Bt2000 (ST) gal before I take off for the "final solution" ... home , radiotherapy and the loss of my balls : )

Further on down the track that night , I have second thoughts about 'Gorgeous' young sister , we'll call 'Pretty' , she's not bad at all , about 5'5" or more , like sis , classy. Quality girls , these two sisters. So off to Ge How get another purse and another necklace , plus an additional 0.65c corny gift that I have been giving out for years now. To Garland , good girl (young sis) she's not taken. Buy her dink (drink) , she gets up on stage and sings a song or two. Thai guy across the way decides he is interested in her too and so makes a move and buys x 4 garlands for her and props them over her head (via waitress). 'Pretty' returns to my table for one sec , then over to his table. Apparently Thai etiquette to first return to mine then pay respects to guy who bought the garlands (money talks).

In Pretty's absence I ask my 'bar attendant' (gal who keeps topping up my glass) how much the garlands cost. She said "10Bt each". Unreal the competition , (guy) has unloaded 40Bt on my sweetheart. Next time she gets up and sings I will unload x 5 garlands (50Bt) on her and then see it he can top it. Its like a slave market in days of old .. highest bidder wins the bod : )

'Pretty' returns to my table. Her English is much much better than my Thai. Mystery to me where she would learn english so well. Know they dont learn much if any at school (bad teachers ... and no chance to practice their skill on anyone). As an Insurance and 'back up' strategy , I get her to write down older sis' work address down. These two gals will have girlfriends etc .. something might come of it , that is will use them as recruiters. Pretty says : "You look happy man". I said : "Why not , I'm sitting with you". For sure , I know I smile a lot more than regular falangs , their undoing (not smiling). I can hear you now : "You dont have to smile , you only have to pay". True , when your with the commercial ones , not true when your with the ones who are looking for someone interesting/decent (who is also willing to pay : )

Pretty asks me where I stay. Lucky for me I am properly organised today .... In my room I drew up a map of where I am staying , got the owner of Ge How to write in Thai language name of surrounding public buildings , street name etc. Had that laminated , so can keep for years. Then got x 2 photocopies made for that night (handouts) , just in case , and 'just in case' has arrived (Pretty).

Pulled out photocopy , she looked at it , and asked for my room number. I wrote room number and my name on the photocopied map. She pocketed it. Devious little wench .... but the clock is ticking .. I am leaving Chiangrai within 48hrs. Promised to return to her next day and handover copies of pics. She said "sure , sure , you come". Yes I replied lifted my glass , she lifted hers , we clash glasses , I say "proongnee" , she says "proongnee" (tomorrow , tomorrow). She gets up on stage and I unload x 5 garlands onto her via my drinks waitress. Competition (guy) on the other side of the barn we are in , cannot respond. He just sits in awe of falang and his might dollar and mighty dick. Or , maybe its rude in Thai Culture to raise the bid right then and there. Maybe Thai etiquette requires him to wait until she sings yet again ?

Enough fun , time for me to split. Go to Kodak shop pic up some pics. Yep , shop open till late in night (tourists hovering around that area). On exiting Kodak , school kids interview me on the footpath. They are doing a survey ... school project. These questionnaires are rather common in Chiangrai. Most probably the same school behind all of them. One cute girl , couple of other girls , and three young boys in the team. Thais do things in numbers , including bashing up asshole falangs : )

Cute girl reads from a prepared list , written in english , eg : "Is this your first time in Chiangrai" etc. There were about a dozen questions including "why you come here" , I replied : "charming and pleasant .. best town in Thailand". Would love to have answered otherwise , eg , "to fuck as many lookers as pos".

Last question was : "Will you come back again". My reply : "yes , I will die here". They liked that one , giggles , laughter , smiles. Little do they know , that is my plan : to retire and die in Chiangrai. End of interrogation. Went to travel agent called "AirAgent" (also open till late , same reason , tourists still wandering around) just up from Thai Airways. Oi served me. Smart , lucid , knowledgeable gal. Taught me how to buy cheapest ticket in Thailand. Now know how/when to buy budget airline tickets. Yes , AirAsia is still operating. "1 , 2 Go" is still the best option if price the same. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are the best days for a good price. Dont have to travel then , but do have to buy then.

I went here there and everywhere on the motorcyc. Burning the candle at both ends , FFF4 time is running out , re-entry into the real world soon. Among other places that night , I propped at Sperm Pub Disco. Excellent Spider and Fly spot , excellent. I am controlling who goes in and who goes out : ) Saw an absolute 9 , absolutely. She didnt seem to know what she wanted to do. On her own , couldn't believe it. In and out the front door she goes , then disappears forever. I entered disco , not big , packed , music ok , some 8's and 9's in attendance. Beautiful girls in the North (Chiangmai , Chiangrai).


PIC ..... Three ordinary pics. Left pic : Sperm Disco. And lots of sperm in there too , believe me. Right pic : Enter through that Archway. Yeh , still got 'Happy New Year' sign up. That's Thailand (and Philippines for that matter). Gals 'n Guys must have ID indicating 20yrs or older. Look at girls in pic , look 17 , yet you can be sure they are 20yrs or older. Management strict about age of those attending = Disco allowed to stay open until 3am. Third pic : Shot a bit blurry ('S' at work again). Skinny Beer Promo girl standing at my Spider and Fly spot outside Sperm , and holding up my beer glass. Thats where I sat , stool next to her leg. No one got in or out of Sperm , without me knowing about it : ) Some like shaggin , some like pervin. Thats me ... d' latter : )

Note : Pics removed , to save downloads.


Yeh , I did go inside Sperm Disco from time to time. Smallish sized room , crowded , noisy , live singers etc. Lively youthful atmosphere (thats why I didnt stay inside long : )

More folks go the giant 'Par Club' Disco down the road , but no Spider and Fly/Control Tower outside that building , so "no Thommo" there either : ) Seems during week , most go to Sperm where a smallish crowd can create atmosphere. On weekends 'Par' is more popular , but Sperm still full too (weekends). For me , I'd get my favourite control tower inside 'Par' on the weekends and during the week , sit outside at 'Sperm' , visiting inside from time to time.

A control freak/pervo has to have his 'control tower' , no matter what : )

With the names 'Par' and 'Sperm'. It seems first owner (Par) likes golf and second owner (Sperm) likes sex : )


So , back to where I am sitting at my control tower :

American guy , resident of Chiangrai has a brief talk to me. Later on when he passes my 'check point' , he leans down and says "You're a Voyeur". I told him he is a psychic , cause he's dead right. He sits at a stool outside Sperm too , but facing , in my opinion , the wrong direction. Maybe he's just contemplating the purpose of life. I dont have to contemplate that , I know it , the purpose is : sex : ) Well , for everyone except ageing me , it seems.

Standing out at the front of Sperm , there is this hansum white skinned wealthy young Thai guy , and he is observing my every move. Then a pretty gal props on bar stool 7mtrs from me , she's alone. She smiles and smiles at me. I ask waitress "ok to take pic of that girl" , she says yes. I get off my stool , step up to the smiley gal , take pic , but she disappears immediately the shot is taken , like she's just seen a ghost.

The reason ? Unbeknowns to me , her boyfriend is heading straight for me , and there is potential trouble. Its not the handsome guy , its someone else. He looks down at pic I am looking at and screams out : "delete , delete". I do as I am told. He watches me delete the pic and soon as thats done he disappears in the same direction gal did , obviously to admonish her for giving me the come on and allowing her pic to be taken , especially by an "asshole falang" : )

Walked back to my stool and the waitress , she says : "what happened" , I said : "my chawp" (not like .. ie the guy) , she continues smiling , tops up glass. "My pen ry" (you are welcome/no problem).

A few mins later a 9.75 babe comes swinging out of the door. And I say swingin' (body).

The lot , face , body , spunky gear. Thats who the hansum guy is waiting for. She sits on stool while he goes to street vendor to buy some snack (bugs ? : ) Of course I'd pay for his 'bugs' if he let me take a pic of his gorgeous woman , but that won't be happening will it. She gets impatient , climbs off stool , skimpy dress pushed further up her thighs , and walks down the road in opposite direction to which he is located. He sees this manoeuvre of hers , stops purchasing and takes off after her. OK , she is a 9.75 but still do not run after them guys , please do not. She’s got this guy around her little finger. Maybe she is a 9.75 fuck too ? Then maybe I would run after her too : )


They tell me the disco stops at 3am. There’s lots of inconsistencies in Chiangrai and elsewhere re closing times nowadays. Started with strict 1am , now loosening up to all hours.

Back to business .... It’s getting close to knock off time for my chosen fuck of the night. She will be finishing work and coming to my room ... she’s got the map too. Lots of girls have got now got the map : )

So , off my stool , home shower , type some stuff out whilst waiting for f.o.n (fuck of night). Everything ready , condoms (not local) , ky gel , curtains drawn etc , then I hear the magical ‘putt putt’ of a Honda Dream 100cc motorcyc. She’s arrived . Big grin , into room. I present her with corny gifts (of course). Same routine every time , put her hand on my cock etc. This time did not ask about bj (what's the point , and gets them off to a bad start .. screwin up face etc) So sat her down on the bed and went to shove dick in her mouth , “no way jose , no way”. I told her : “send you off to bj school” (philippines). Of course she did not understand what I was on about and of course she smiled the Thai smile as only they can do. They smile whether they understand or not.

Shag , shag , I shag her. Cause they do not ‘bj’ I have to shag them longer and harder , dont I. I get up wash cock to cool dick down (hot engines dont work well : ) , she thinks thats the end of it , but no I start shagging her again. No bj , ok honey , your going to earn it.

She has to go home , and most probably tell some 'minder' there a story about 'working back late' , whatever. Before she leaves , I open the 'corny gift' silk purse , slip Bt500 note in it , away she goes , "putt putt" on that little Honda. Love the sound of those Honda 100cc engines outside my window. Reminds me of all the Chiangrai girls who've come and gone from this same room in the last 20yrs.

Just another day at the Office : )


A significant number of singers earn their real money 'after hours' with their customers. Modus operandi is : At cantina , buy ladies drinks , chat , hand out map : ) , and then wait for the tap tap tap , on ya door : )

Only works for me one out of five times. But you only need one , don't ya.

So , hand out your map five times , wait and see ? : )


Woke up later on that morning , after 'putt putt' had left , washed favourite classy t.shirt of mine , hang on line. Going to use it in Bangkok. Plan : Bangkok , check in Siam Hotel , fuck favourite babe FB or anyone else who gets in the way. It’ll be my last night in Thailand/FFF4 , gotta go out with a bang. Nice and convenient sitting in Cof Shop (Siam) , walk 15mtrs across to Front Desk for key and up to room , shag shag , back to Cof Shop take another one. In my dreams (whank whank) ? We will see.

To Kodak , girl will think :”Mollman is back , and yet more pics of more girls ... does he fuck them or what”. Then I buy ticket “1 , 2 , Go” Airline. Pick up camera pouches x 3 at Market ... pay one more day motorcyc. Amazed at how slow the traffic moves in Chiangrai , so , out of curiosity , look down at motorcyc speedometer from time to time see what speed the traffic and I are travelling at and see that , most of the time we are travelling at 30kph , never more than that. Many times 10-20kph. Take off at lights is extremely slow. There certainly is no rush in Chiangrai. Ideal for retirement.

Will ‘Pretty’ gal call today (she’s got map). Better be in room 2pm - 6pm , thats the time she’s likely to call. She asked me for my cell phone number .... “no have” , says I , might have to get cell phone , if it brings in one ‘Pretty’ per trip it will have paid for itself. Get spunky tags printed in Philippines , hand out Thailand.

This country is looking up. Why ? Cause I speak more Thai , that’s why. Plus of course , my ingenious corny gifts. Who could resist such a charming frail old man ? Unfortunately 8’s and 9’s thats wot !

At Ayes Restaurant , finished my meal and am thinking how calm and peaceful it is. The calm before the storm ? (Bangkok).

Pity , Pretty didnt call. That night , did the rounds. First Ayes , then Night Bazaar bought two soap flowers. Hand carved flowers , made from soap. Aroma and cuteness. One for FB (Favourite Babe) and one for VIP at Chiangrai Safe Haven.

To Garland Singalong. Pretty is there. She gives me a good luck stone , clasped in golden tentacles. Tiny light thing. Attached it to my camera strap. Supposed to bring good luck. Didn't tell her leaving town next day. Asked at next stop ... Cantina , how much jade stone is worth. They said Bt100. Big romance in the making ... but it will have to be long distance , I am leaving Chiangrai tomorrow.


At Cantina take snaps , some of which are on this page. This is the same place where they charged me for ice and I said I would never come back : ) Ordered beer I said "how much" = Bt60 large bottle. Then asked how much ice = Bt10. So in reality cheap beer (70Bt). Paid then and there , no risk of a loaded bill later. Sat there and listened to wonderful Thai and Laos music for ages.

To Sperm Pub Disco. Beer Promo girl is sitting in my spider and fly seat , she gets up , I regain control. Lots of pretty girls tonight , lots. Northern Thailand for the provincial beauties lads. Once these same girls get ensconced in Bangkok , their body ’n mind change for the worse. Rat syndrome .. part of the rat race. Same girl stays in the fresh air and slow pace of the province/s .. she retains her beauty. Provincial beauties are here in Chiangrai by the bucket full , especially noticeable at Disco’s like Sperm.

Accidentally knocked my beer glass down onto footpath. I was quickly presented with a chit for my beer. Thought she said 150 , thats two mini jugs of beer , when I’ve only had one jug. No , she’s saying Bt115 , includes Bt40 for broken glass. You can bet the security standing 5/7mtrs from me is staring at me , to see if I am going to pay for the broken glass.

Reason girl presented bill so quickly , was to assess if I am willing to pay for breakage. In Thailand , things can turn awfully sour , awfully quickly , if your not careful. I pay up with a smile , what else can I do ?


Sperm cont'd : Rain came down , and kept coming down. Around 1.45am me and my buddy (yeh back in the good books again) ‘S’ went home in the rain. Up 8am , programme : upload to Internet Cafe , pick up pouches , eat , return motorcyc , to Airport by 2pm. Bangkok beckons. No sisterly love , I am going to thrash FB (fav babe) tonight. Hope so , anyway.

Whilst having brekky at Ayes , owner tells me my Air Asia flight is cancelled , and that I should go to see Travel Agent. Amazing efficiency in Thailand , at times. Can't imagine folks in Philippines using their initiative , tracking me down via restaurant owner etc. So off to Agent who says flight cancelled no alternative Air Asia flights. Now , if you dont take your flight with Air Asia there is no refund. But if they cancel the flight there is no recompense. So , Agent sells me "1 , 2 , Go" ticket for later in the day. Still time to get to Bangkok and service FB though. But I have to pay Bt300 more for the new ticket and also have to pay for another day at the Ge How Bt150 , cause I am staying on beyond check out time. Thanks Air Asia.

To the Market and pick up camera pouches. A flimsy pouch in Bangkok cost me Bt100. Three sturdy tailor made ones in Chiangrai cost me Bt20 each. Cheaper living in Chiangrai. Shower , pack bags , maybe brief siesta then to airport. Focus of my attention : FB (Bangkok). Hope she enjoys the farewell shag I've got for her. Once again , cellphone would be handy. Could call her and confirm my intentions. Must get 'cell' for Thailand.

Thailand is getting better as I get older. Charm , ambience .. love it , but still no bj's (damn : )

Sex ... Philippines.

Who needs it ? (sex) Obviously not me anymore. I can take it or leave it. So , the website will most probably go from emphasising Philippines to emphasising Thailand. But , I will never abandon the LBB's (Little Brown Bombers) of the Philippines , never. They serviced me so well when my testosterone levels were higher. Add to that their natural friendliness/earthiness. Flips will always be in my heart. Some of the best years of my life were spent in the Philippines.

So , to the airport. Sit in a little cantina (its got bamboo all around the place so its a 'cantina' : ) and drink two Beer Changs. Infatuated with the miniature dog sleeping on the floor. Owner has provided a nice mat for it. Never seen that breed before , something unique to Thailand methinks. It sleeps and sleeps and sleeps. I comment in Thai to the owner about its sleeping habit. She replies in Thai , I dont understand what she said , so I just nod yes. Take some pics , dog does not disturb. Just before I leave owner picks up the dog , mat intact. It aint a dog at all , its a replica of a dog. Need new glasses. No wonder I see 8's and 9's sometimes : )

On plane and fine tuning my 'attack' on FB. I know , she might not be there. If that is the case I will bang one of the Back Street Babes. Knowing my luck , most probably one that has just downed some cockroaches : )

In respect of FB , will not be surprised if her face lowers and saddens when I ask to ST her. Reckon she thinks of me as her brother (corny gifts , drink or two etc over a longish period) She commented once that it was good I never took any girl from See-Yaam. Well honey , I am not a eunuch , I am for real and like to fuck sometimes , just like everyone else , so yes , on my last night (unbeknowns to her , my last night) I want to fuck you , cause your the best pay for play girl I have come across this tour.

It will be an interesting manoeuvre , converting her from sister to fuck. Theoretically she should be excited on seeing me after so long an absence. Will see , maybe she is a hard core whore and doesn’t give a hoot if I am back or not ? If she doesn’t care , then it will be my face that lowers and saddens : )

For sure , if I leave Thailand without fucking her , I will be saddened. Would be surprised to see her at See-Yaam next time I call on Thailand. Migratory lot these LON's.

Caught the bus from the Airport into town = slower , but hassle free. I have declared war on bangkok taxi drivers. From this point onwards I will avoid them as much as possible , especially to and from the Airport. Carried 20kgs of bags and arrived at Safe Haven Bangkok , they dispense with the usual paper work. I must be gaining status at the place. Hungry , ate in their Restaurant. It's now 10pm everything going to schedule. Shower and out the door by 11.15pm. No diversions , straight to the target .. FB at See Yaam.

Arrive there about 11.30pm or so. Look in front room , she's not there , go to back room , look at her favourite table , not there. Sit down , order a Sprite , then see her and regular girl friend , sitting at table next to one she usually sits at. Why isnt she sitting at her usual table , which is empty ? She seems happy to see me , turns to her girlfriend and most probably says : "Hope he has not got any more corny gifts for me , I want money and a cock between my legs , not corny 35Bt gifts ".

No messing around , the clock is ticking , my last night in Thailand , so after 1 min get up and go to her table , tell her I just came from Chiangrai , gave her hand carved soap item (Bt220) , then whilst doing that and just before sitting down at her table I look to my right and see why she is not sitting at her usual table. There are two "small penis/big money" koreans sitting at a table right next to them. So close , their table is almost touching FB's table. Two cute girls and two not so cute koreans (with money). Perhaps I will spoil the party if I sit down ? , so I immediately return to my table. Toss down my sprite in ten secs , get up and out of See Yaam , ever forward , no time to waste. Cannot sit around and see if Koreans are taking FB and girl friend.

Hop in taxi out front of See Yaam and tell driver "Wittayhu (Wireless) Rd - Pent" via the Back Street. Very few girls in back street. Driver says they are Bt2000. Expensive cockroaches at that price : )

I did not have calling card for Pent , so some confusion and delays in finding it. Very good taxi driver , no problems with first one either. There seems to a 'cease fire' in place : )

I tell driver to stop on the roadside in front of Pent , he insists in taking me to front door. Enter Pent , they read the riot act to me .... Bt600 consumables plus 10% service charge. I pay. There are lots of hospitality girls this time , in white frill dresses , some of them 8's. A 6.75 is assigned to me. I tell her I am happy to sit by myself and just look. All this in Thai language. Most of them do not speak English. Give the place credit , this night is lively. Girls are hugging their customers , dirty dancing and just being lively in general. Definitely a party atmosphere (which was lacking on previous trip). No doubt , if you speak Thai you can make a date after hours with hospitality girls. But the problem is , these girls know how much you spend at Pent , so they would not be cheap. Actual hookers as reported on Internet .... did not see one (first trip or this the second trip).

Clock is ticking , out of there and to CM2. Only Bt220 entrance = Bt200 of drink coupons. How can Angels Disco at Bt400 entrance and only one drink compete ? Only Angels fabulous location can save them. Once inside I see a significant number of Russian hookers in attendance , odd one very pretty , most terrible. Thai gals , so-so , with the odd pretty one. Atmosphere is lacking a bit. No two nights the same at any venue in Thailand/Philippines. You can bet on that.

Didnt bother buying a drink with my cover charge coupon/s which I gave to a lonely girl who was nursing an empty glass. That is , I gave her Bt200 drink money in effect. That should lift her spirits , especially if she orders hard stuff (whiskey).

On exiting , there was this weirdo woman/man , not sure what , entering. Peroxide wiry hair. Whilst going around him/her and exiting I look at 'hello' girl , look at 'peroxide' , then back to hello girl and mouth 'wow' , then lean forward and whisper 'sexy' , to hello girl , who smiles and nods agreement. Then I look up the steps I have to climb to get out , and see what looks like 'peroxides' husband/boyfriend eyeballing me. He saw the lot (wow/sexy .. smiling) and wasn't happy with it , but had to accept it , as I was going out and he was going in.

Did not take any of the rip off stand by taxi's parked outside. For sure , they would be 'no meter' boys with rip off prices. Walked to main road , hop in taxi , guy takes off without meter switched on. I say "meter" , he switches it on. We seemed to go an awfully long way around to Soi.4 , but who am I to know , with all this one way traffic stuff.

Bamboo Shack Cantina (Chiangrai).

A Chinese Hilltribe girl (20yrs) , who's come down the Mts to earn some cash ,

and no more than Bt150 (U$3.50) per day , at that.


Award winning pic , dont you think ? : )

Arrive Soi.4 and Big Dog Bar. My two favourite bar girls are not there. Drank a couple of beers , but nothing really happening at BD or below me on footpath , other than a Brit smashing a bottle on the floor. They are drunk and soccer mad ... world cup , you know how it is. No one at BD did anything about it , other than sweep the broken glass up. Buddhism ... "don't show emotions , no confrontation" , at work ?

Had a short peek at Cattleyard scene (Nana car park). One old guy bought 10 girls surrounding him a beer each at Bt75 from street sellers , when correct price is Bt50 each. I said to the girls "falang jai dee" (big hearted). They all agreed. Then for fun I called out to falang "where's mine" (dink) , he looked at me and said "no , no". He's going to go through Bt2/3000 on those babes. Fun , fun ...............

Then spy a sexy one , approach her and ask if its ok to take her photo , she screwed her face up and said "two thousand baht". Hard hearted bangkok whore .. so different to places away from Bangkok.

OK , so its the last throw of the dice. Back to See-Yaam. Arrive and FB is still sitting at same table with same girlfriend. Empty dining plates on the table ... signs that she has not been anywhere , ie , not barfined by koreans or anyone else. Perhaps I put the koreans off , by talking to FB. That is , they thought she screws with big cock falangs = big pussy ? I call her to my table and get straight to the point ... "how much short time". Bt1500 she says , a Bt500 discount for the corny gifts and the odd drink I suppose. I say ok we go .... No hesitation on her part either. She hasn't had a customer all night (?) , time for money , not niceties.

To nearby See-Yaam room , she showers and asks me to shower , which I do. I tried for a bj. Its normal for girls in the Philippines and Brazil to start with a bj , but not these babes. Ok a smiley , feminine , starfish style of shag ensued .. no anal , no bj. No real surprise , I sort of thought this would happen , but still had to satisfy my curiosity @ Bt1500 (plus room at Bt500). At least I finally entered her ... incest : )

She was sweet , charming and pretty but she wasn't sexy. It was a case of : "Buddhism in the bedroom" .. controlled emotions. Ideal fuck for a fellow asian monger , but not for a Western Monger .. she isn't aware of that of course , and really doesn't care either , I suppose. She , along with all the other girls at See Yaam , are targeting SE Asians , not white Caribou's like me. Their bread and butter comes from SE Asian guys.

Out of there , a bit disappointed , but at least curiosity satisfied and back to Safe Haven .. to bed. Didnt tell FB it was my last night , if she had given me a '3 way' , yes would have told her , but a '1 way' wasn't worth the courtesy. My non return to her beckoning arms will tell her ... 'not satisfied'. Perhaps for the next falang she will improve her performance a bit ?. Unlikely , See Yaam type girls are indifferent to us white and non white caribous. "SE Asian lads only , thank you".

On arising later on that morning it was just a case of business , packing and getting on that plane. Walked 15/20mins to bus stop with 20kgs of bags , in the hot 'n humid sun. No more airport taxi drivers , if I can help it.


It's a relief now , knowing that I don't have to fuck or drink copious amounts of grog anymore : ) Time for r' n r .. rest and relaxation far from the turmoil of d' front.

Overall ... Thailand was most charming and enjoyable , but not sexy. Hard core falang 'trained' thai whores are sexy yes , but others no .. they are Asian sexy ... that is , motionless on bed , whilst the man gets his rocks off. Filipino's are more western orientated , watch porn movies etc. They are in a better position to 'deliver' and satisfy the white and non white caribou. They can satisfy all persons , regardless of their ethnicity.

I do not regret going to Thailand , it was great ... but a man can not live on smiles alone.

LOS = Land of Smiles and not Land of Sex , I'm afraid : )

No prizes for guessing my next destination.

See you again in FFF5


The famous Wai I have talked about.

This girl was very good company. Great to have around.

Appropriately she closes this page , with a Wai.




Thommo and Saun ..(That's Saun , on the right : )




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