Big Ben has struck 1am ,

......................................and it's 1st Feb

FISHIN for FUN - 1

Dispatch No.1..

NOTE : Fishin for Fun was originally (in this first issue) sent out as emails.

From FFF2 onwards it was uploaded online every two days , not as emails anymore.

There were twenty one (21) Dispatches (emails) sent to readers of whorist.com re FFF-1

Here are the copies :

Hi Fella’s

The following is roughly written , but should form the basis for interesting reading. If not , ‘return to sender’ : )

Please remember , Saun is with me all the time , there are two of us , but I talk/write as if there is only one (me). He wants to be left out of things as much as possible (wise man : )

Still in my home country. After almost three years of waiting , I was finally on my way to Phil/Thailand. Taxi arrived outside my house 4am sharp as arranged. Strange , I did not feel like travelling and was not interested in upcoming trip. Arrived at airport with hangover from previous nights drinking. I drank the previous night without passion , going through the motions , pretending its party time etc.

Eventually I took off from my small provincial airport , to a much bigger city and place of embarkation for plane to Phil. Stayed overnight at friends house in big city , woke up next morning , a little interested in the trip. Get to airport four hours before departure and find a long queue to check in counter , mostly Filipinos and some attractive ones (girls) too. Getting more interested : ) Embark plane , engines roar , we lift up into the air. I’m always impressed with the brute force of lift off. Yes , now I am excited , and interested in the trip , at last.

It was a long drawn out flight , with unsociable fellow countryman next to me. Not talking , silence , sitting like a dummy waiting for the big touch down in the Philippines. We arrive safely (no terrorists on board: ) , met stupid fellow countryman in the immigration queue. Help him get connecting flight to Cebu. After many hours of silence (unusual for me : ) I initiated meeting , saying to the guy , “hey you have panama hat , that’s cool” , he said ‘yeh , meeting girlfriend’ and then usual silly talk about marrying her etc. It was the way he was going about it (marriage) that was silly. Wont go into that here. Gave him some unasked for advice , couldn’t resist , then lost him somewhere in baggage collection area (thank God) but met yet another fellow countryman , this one smiling. He was set to boogie , came to Phil to have fun and will have fun , cause he is friendly open type , but at the same time he is not stupid.

This guy , ‘D’ , wants to drink beer before our Cebu flight departs in 3 hrs time , I agree. What a circus , asking security etc where we can find a bar. We must have walked up and down outside domestic departures 4 times , asked at least 8 people (mostly security) “where is the bar” and got varying descriptions of where the mysterious bar is located. Finally we found it , downstairs and hidden behind a wall. Start to drink etc , and then friend gets nervous about missing flight and so I leave bar with him for departures.

We arrive at departure lounge and friend sees another bar within departures , so we enter and order beer again (on a roll). Sitting there drinking beer and I hear an announcement : “last call for passenger ‘Thomas’ …..etc”. Look at where the embarking queue was before , and there was no one , everyone is on board except myself and friend. He runs to plane , I do the same. Get to boarding counter , and I do not have my boarding pass , can not find it anywhere. Friend by now has boarded plane , now I am the only one who has not boarded plane. Frustrated , look everywhere for boarding pass , alcohol I had consumed not helping me to think clearly. Girl from the bar comes running out with my boarding pass .

She had observed through glass window my predicament , and picked up boarding pass from my table and ran out with it. “Merry Christmas” I said to her , as she ran back to the bar and her place of employment.

I enter the plane , everyone looking at me , me the guy who is holding up the plane : ) Someone is sitting in my seat , I told hostie , “never mind , any seat so long as I get there” (Cebu). She sits me in between two Filipinos. Guy to my left is chatty. He is working on an oil rig overseas. He likes to talk (and so do I) , we chat non stop one hour to Cebu , then I exit the plane and put my feet on Cebu soil again , first time in almost 3 years , happy now : )

Exit from airport in limo , smooth , think it cost me P200 , worth it to have a no hassles ride to the city itself , some distance away.

At my regular place of accommodation , not impressed …. no welcoming committee as in days of yore. Back in my country , and before the trip , I imagined 3 or 4 people jumping up and down with joy on seeing me. But the only person there was a stranger , Receptionist I vaguely remember from years ago. She’s a bit sad faced , and has a worried look.

Shit , to my room and toilet not working , and no water coming from tap , plus they have squeezed an extra bed into my room making the room less spacious Things are not going well : )

No shower , nothing , no time for that , must start ‘work’. Went to kuku’s nest to check out what was reported to our website as a respectable freelance joint. Got there , could see inside the place from the footpath , did not even enter. It was 10.30pm at night , Saturday and dead , not one respectable gal inside , plus place a bit run down , looked like dirt floor (outdoor section). Came again same night , still dead , still hopeless. Found out next day from long time expat resident , “yeh , only old hookers and bayuts (homosexuals) there”. So much for kuku’s nest. I am not saying the person who reported to kuku's to us was wrong , I am just saying that the night I went there it was non existent so far as freelancing goes. It’s quite likely someone will call at kuku’s after me and find the place ok once again.

Went to Sunflower Disco , as previously reported on website by some mongers. Every taxi driver knows it , Lahug (“Sunflower Disco Lahug”) , not far from central cebu city.

P150 entrance , big area , live band (very loud) , about 150 people in attendance 11pm. I step inside door , gal and security suggest I sit at bar , I look at bar , I look at girls sitting down at long row of ‘dinner tables’ (not sexy , not conducive to approaching girls , cause tables on level lower than band/bar …. should be tiered for whoring : ) They look at me , no good vibes coming , no good lookers in site , vibes wrong. I am tired from a long plane trip , I swing around and go out the door straight away , disappointed.

Next day , my long standing resident expat friend , we will call x , said , “oh yes Sunflower replaced Club Circus , plenty hookers there , even possibly VIP rooms upstairs for fucking”. I respect x and anything he tells me , so I decided to return to Sunflower another day and check it out again. Also a Filipino who knows Cebu nightlife told me , “yes Sunflower , many chicks there”. So I believe it is ‘action central’ for good girls and bad girls (pay for play) and shall return another day.

Right now ‘agent’ (contact) No.1. a girl (aka ‘A’) , has made communication with me and boasts of two nice non pro’s for my pleasure. Agent No.2 , a guy , has also made contact with me , and he is talking of ‘talent’ ‘stock’ etc. Funny how some of them talk about the girls as if they are merchandise in a wholesale shed , just pull them out , use them and then put them back again : ). Agent 2 is now old and past his ‘use by’ date. Full of tricks and guile , but unable to supply , as in days of yore. He is heading for a miserable end on planet earth , no money , no family , no support , friendless.

OK things are starting to settle down , getting organised , recovering from 23 hrs of travelling etc. Surprised with the deterioration of cebu since last trip. Seems the place has crumbled down even further. I am concentrating too much on the dirt filth of the place , but slowly getting out of that because of the cheery nature of the filipino people. They rise above all the dirt and hopelessness , continue to smile and be friendly etc. Especially the girls : ) Met a nice honey , waitress at Kiwi Lodge Restaurant and similar girls at other places. Wall to wall girls (Cebu) , and they are ever keen , ever friendly. You do not get ignored in the Phil like you do in the West : )

Kiwi Lodge , G Tud Tud Street (pronounced : Tood Tood) , Mabolo (area). Rooms P800/1000.Good . Bar good , spacious basic restaurant , food satisfactory. Overnight girls no problem , I asked the cashier. Think if you brought hard core go go girls there , everyone might feel a tad uncomfortable but otherwise , its all systems go at Kiwi. Suggest you bring hard core ones straight to your room , bang their brains out and send em packing. Only sit around bar or restaurant with semi pro or non pro types , otherwise maybe uneasy ‘feel’in the air. Kiwi is ‘family’ to a certain extent. Email: kwilodge @ pacific.net.ph No I have not misspelt kiwi , that’s the way they have spelt it on calling card (kwi). Location is quite good , although usual broken down buildings in same street , that’s Phil , that’s 3rd world. Kiwi Lodge itself is not broken down , maintained properly.

OK Female Agent No.1. , we will call ‘A’ , will be calling tomorrow at predestined spot at Ayala Shopping Mall with two cuties for 'interview'.

Hope for their sake they get past the interview (by yours truly). Also got many other things to do. Came across Danny the guy I talked about before in ‘NEW’ website page , he sleeps on the footpaths for the last 20 more years. Decided to buy him a new blanket and pillow , he would like that. Plus got other things on my shopping list. Things are settling down , I am relaxing more and becoming confident this trip will be a success in both a sexual and non sexual way.

As usual , stay tuned : )

Late Flash/News : Stay clear of Kathy 5’3” approx , very long hair , attractive , 25yrs old. She is approaching foreigners with offers of under 18yrs old girls. Scam , police arrive shortly after girl/s in room. Cost you U$1500/2000 bribe to get out of trouble. Alternative : life imprisonment. Police , Kathy and girl/s share the proceeds. Kathy trains these girls to testify in court. Beware. Possibly more details Feb1st when I return from overseas. Don’t let Kathy even talk to you , potentially dangerous and for Christ sake do not tell her where you are staying , otherwise you might find a under 18 tapping on your door , then cops appear. If you see a long haired , good looking woman heading towards you on streets of cebu or in ayala or shoe mart malls or just about anywhere…. ignore , walk on.

Source of info : reliable , and to be taken seriously.

That’s enough for now.

Life is never dull in the Philippines : )

Yours …… Lance Corporal Thommo , yet to see ‘action’ at d’ Front.

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Dispatch No.2
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Note :

When you see a row of dots , viz : ……………………………… you know I have deleted what I thought was superfluous text.

However , if you want me to go back to the longer versions , as in Dispatch.1. let me know.

Personally I prefer the edited/shorter version/s , as follows :

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And so in this Dispatch.2. …. “the beat goes on”.

Starting to become part of the Phil lifestyle now, relaxed , and gaining some ‘internal rhythm’.

You recall in Dispatch 1 my Sunflower Disco comments. I queried waitress at Kiwi Lodge about it today , and she said ‘Sunflower good place’ , which means good girls go there too. …………………………………….

Large cockroach No.2. was sighted scurrying across the floor of my room today. The ultimate weapon … plastic thong ….. whack ….. he’s dead , ‘another one bites the dust’ (Queen). The ants quickly come along and devour him totally , nothing left.

It wouldn’t be Philippines without roaches : ) So long as they don’t join me in bed , all is well : )

Saun and I approve of Kiwi Lodge Restaurant ……………………………

Whilst eating at Kiwi , I read the local Sun Star newspaper. Fond memories of the days when I advertised for chicks : ) That ‘advertising’ scene has long bitten the dust , as I have said on my website before.

If I had a hammer :

Headlines on front page of local newspaper ‘Sun Star’ : “Gastro outbreak hits 239 people in six days” ….. “Overcrowded Hospital facilities try to cope with added strain on limited resources. Patients told to bring folding beds, along with hammer & nails , so their dextrose bottles can be suspended from Hospital walls”.

………………………………………………Next time I come to the Philippines , must remember to bring my hammer and nails : )

OK , I am writing this about 2 hours before meeting Agent.1 and her two cuties. Interesting to see if there are any vibes between myself and one/two of the girls.

……………………………………………………. Must stop the talk , and walk the walk. Meet Agent.1’s chicks at Ayala , Idea Italia Coffee Shop. ………………………………………………….

So , off to Ayala ……………………………………………Idea Italia is on the right and on the left is a past favourite of mine and Sauns called ‘Oh George’. Take seat at Italia ……………………………………………As usual I have arrived too early, 5.25pm for a 6pm meet and drink beer whilst waiting. Its starting to get close to 6pm , excited at prospect of meeting ‘A’s beautiful next door neighbour. Getting a bit pissed on my fourth beer now. Get that stupid look in my face when pissed , not good to impress girls.

6pm arrives and no A. 6.15pm comes and still no A and I am drinking more beer (only thing to do). At 6.25pm I decide to pay chit (bill) and split. Very disappointed with A , first time in 3yrs she is to deliver ‘merchandise’ and she stuffs up. Just as I get the chit , A walks in empty handed , no beautiful neighbour , only ‘stories’ (excuses). So I nominate a new meeting spot at 8.30pm for her to bring that beautiful next door neighbour. Apparently ‘neighbour’ is in transit to Ayala , but I am not waiting any longer , I am the buyer. Seller chases buyer , not the other way around : )

PIC ... Ayala Shopping Mall. Make sure you get the correct entrance. Tell taxi driver "Ayala , Est entrance". They pronounce East as 'Est'. See folks entering door under "Turista" sign. Thats the place to enter and exit. Taxi's on the ready as you exit. To right of Turista is Adventure International Travel Agency where American Express resides.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

Saun is back in his room sleeping , freshening up for the nights onslaught. I head for Kiwi and eat some food. Then back to my accom , do a few little things then to appointed spot to meet A and ‘beauty’. ‘A’ turns up empty handed again , suggesting I meet beauty next day. Now I am really pissed off , getting the run around and tell her I’m not interested in tomorrow. She goes away disappointed , likewise me.

I cancel reconnoitres with C also , not in the mood now and feel sleepy after all that beer etc.

…………………………………..In the meantime , …… C had better not come tonight with excuses , like A , that’s for sure. If that happens I will quickly downgrade Cebu and move on , didn’t come here to twiddle my fingers.

………………………………………………Problem with ‘beautiful neighbour’ (BN) , she can only come at respectable hours , otherwise I’d organise A to bring her along after the reconnoitre with C. So looks like BN is scheduled for Thursday night. Seems she is reluctant to come forward so suggested to A she brings a couple of friends and we go to Sunflower. The girls can boogie on the floor whilst I observe Sunflowers freelance potential. After first chaperoned date , BN should be ready to come to my room on her own ? We will see , patience is a necessity with ‘good’ girls.

9am this morning ‘A’ is lurking outside my accom with news of a good one. Tell her bring 6pm , she does just that and the gal is not a good one , in my fussy opinion. ………………………………..

So its 30mins before C arrives 9pm and we head downtown to have a look at something different. No camera , no watch , no fancy clothes. He will return the next night and take photo’s of places and things I nominate , but first a little reconnoitre.

By himself is better with camera. They won’t think of Internet etc. Good.

Surprise , C arrives spot on 9pm we catch a taxi downtown , alight and on the corner of Sangcianko and Palaez Sts (spelling might be a little wrong) we begin to chat a little before entering any place. Just as we begin to talk to each other this young burly oversized filipino creeps up behind C , leans forward to listen to our conversation. I hate that. Immediately wave him away and he hates that too , loss of face amidst other folks around. A big filipino being waved away by a foreigner , not nice for his ego : )

PIC ... Downtown Sleaze dance places. "Our Place" foreigner bar and Resto' in shot , forget , this place now 'dead'. (Not a dance place). Diagonally opposite "Our Place" is the beginning of the budget dance spots. Other than the thrill of a 'sleaze' experience , nothing much to be gained by visiting these places nowadays.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

He gives me the index finger (fuck you sign) and his face is really nasty. So within seconds of arriving downtown I am in trouble , if not for C I think maybe something would have happened. C whisks me upstairs to first native ‘dive’. I enter door , take a snap look , swing around and exit. C follows me. I take him away from the big gorilla who ‘indexed’ me. Realise now ‘Gorilla’ is most probably security for that same joint we just entered. Walk away and tell C that I just don’t have the heart for it (dead set whoring venues) anymore.

In years gone by I frequented such places and even found a marvellous gem in one , but today I could not spend 5 secs in such a place. So much for my intended research of sleazy downtown.

Now , I am worried , haven’t had a fuck in 3 days and not interested in Filipino sleaze. Perhaps Thai sleaze (small town native brothels) will interest me ?

Over the years I slipped away from the normal whoring scene and got gals via contacts. Seems I can not return to my old haunts , places like GoGo’s , Casa’s (brothels) etc. ……………………………………….. And so far none of my contacts/agents has delivered anything I like , in 3 days. Things are grim indeed. Looks like I am going to have an enforced retirement from whoring , well , in the Philippines at least.

For sure I am out of here (Phil) in a few days. On arrival , I paid room for one week in advance. When that expires and washed clothes are dry , I am out of here.

Cebu Circus :

Only thing that will keep me in Phil is some quick success via contacts/agents. I told all contacts to stay away tomorrow. Want a break from the ‘circus’. It truly has become a Circus. A Cebu Circus.

So its Thursday , with ‘beautiful girl next door’ (BN) plus two of her girl friends. See if BN is worth winning over. Don’t think Agents B or C are going to deliver anything of consequence , this whole trip. Lost confidence in both of them.

Will things turn around ? If not , will Thailand save me ? If not , will Thomas hang up his saddle and walk off into the sunset , never to ride again ?

Stay tuned : )

…….. Lance Corporal Thommo (soon to be demoted to ‘non active combatant’ ? : )

PS : Saun is in sync with me re Cebu and is keen to ‘split’ to a more sophisticated and cleaner Thailand.

Dispatch No.3. is just around the corner , stay tuned. And , for your information , I am sending/dispatching them around 2am GMT (Big Ben time) every second day.

Wonder who is occupying B.Ben during my absence ?

Most probably the rats : )

Dispatch No.3.

Problems :

It’s 4.30am , and another day. Early bird catches the worm , but where are the worms ? …………………………………………….

Woke up thinking the main problem is the Agents/Contacts are not performing to the required level. Better not wait too long , better start looking for a replacement to Agent/contacts B & C at least. Contact A has been good in the past , very good , supplying me with ‘merchandise’ that I could only dream of , if by myself. If she does not turn the corner and get her act together this trip I am done for , in the short term at least.

The problem with Flips is they start out with a flourish , but do not go the distance. ……………………………………
When/if I take BN (Beautiful Neighbour) to Sunflower Disco I will have a look around the place. Girls are always impressed if your in the company of a ‘looker’ , especially one that does not look like a whore. ……………………….

Yeh , whilst BN is dancing with her girlfriend/s my eyes will troll the entire SF Disco. …………………Last chance this Thurs. If A does not deliver or delivers and ordinary one , then I know I have got serious problems and either I find a replacement fast (not usually possible) or formulate a ‘retirement plan’. Retirement from whoring , Cebu City that is.

Danny Boy :

On the humanitarian side , bought Danny (street dweller) a new black cotton ‘bed sheet’. Black is his favourite colour and the favourite of other male street residents (lost souls). ……………………………………………
Yeh , delivered to him a new cotton bed sheet (cost P200) , a cold can of coke , and one of those eye shades they hand out on board the plane , just happened to be black , and finally gave him a P20 note. Eye shades should be handy cause he sleeps under bright street lights , presumably for safety reasons.

Actually , I am amazed that he is still alive. Last time , Feb 2002 I didn’t think I would see him alive ever again. But he is ‘hangin in’ , for what reason , no one knows, least of all Danny. Survival instinct , it’s in all of us including the LON’s and of course folks like Danny.

I have been a good (but unsuccessful) boy so far. Havent shagged anyone’s daughter yet , plus been involved in charitable works (Danny). There is a place for me in Heaven (Whorist Heaven).

Patience Pays :

Impatient , I am impatient. When all is said and done , its only 3 days since I have arrived. But I have waited 3 yrs for this and Agent A has had months to organise something. Patience , Thommo , patience : )

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Apart from eating , nothing much else listed for today , ‘rest day’. Rest from the ‘circus’ , not rest from rooting (unfortunately). Thursday I should be fresh and ready to ‘charm’ BN (Beautiful Neighbour).

The life of a Monger was never meant to be easy.

News Flash :

Todays local Sun Star newspaper : Army Chief speaking to Cadets is reported as saying ….. “We can only be 99.9 per cent perfect and that is what we need to correct”.

I’ve got news for him , Agent A isn’t even 29.9 per cent ‘perfect’.

Plenty of amusing/confusing ‘mumbo jumbo’in Phil newspapers. Most probably partly cause they are expressing themselves in a second language , English not being their Mother Tongue.

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Breakfast at Kiwi. Must admit its starting to become a little boring eating at the same place all the time , but its safe. That is , I know I will eat whatever they dish up to me. No unpleasant surprises , nice consistent food. Whilst putting down vegetable soup (its great) , bake beans etc a 25yr old blonde western woman walks in and orders breakfast. Wonder if she has been around Kiwi when the 50 plus , year old mongers arise and have brekky with their teenage girl friends. That’d make her hair stand on end , no doubt : )

Nice ‘family’ folksy atmosphere at Kiwi , I like it.

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Saun and self have now got confirmed flights to Thailand. Hope I can get a naughty there. Regular whores have no appeal for me , hence I am ‘missing out’ in Cebu : ) My negativity has infected Saun too , and he is having no luck with his usual sweet talk to non pro’s. Think the gals can read our negative/loser vibes : )

Sick Monger :

Whilst walking down Osmena Blvd today , saw a heavy burly guy walking up. What struck me immediately was the pretty face of the girl he had in tow. He had her by the hand and was walking faster than her , sought of ‘dragging’ her along. The fact that she was one third his size didn’t help her to keep up with him. “Hey , wait a minute this gal is young” , I look longer , “hey she is about 13-15yrs of age” ! Here he is (foreigner) in broad daylight walking up a busy road towing a love child. What a cheek , what a fool/asshole , in broad daylight. How sad the child has to screw with adults to survive.

…………………………………..

Now , this trip is very strange indeed , it’s the fourth day and I have not screwed a single babe. Normally I am not too fussy when I arrive and screw gals who are not quite up to the mark , until I get a good one. This time I am just not interested in anything offered to me , preferring to go without. …………………………………………..

More Dreams (Miss BN this time) :

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Gave my top quality short sleeved shirt to Laundry Lady. Bought this shirt about a year ago with just this situation (MissBN) in mind. It’s the most expensive and nicest shirt I have ever owned. Havent worn it yet , kept it for a special occasion (Miss BN). Ones gotta pull out a bit extra when meeting a beautiful lady : )

Of course I could be getting ahead of myself , she might not be beautiful at all or beautiful but does not come forward ? No , I think she will show. Why do I think that ? Well first of all I am not putting the heat on the meat. I am making it easy for her to meet me , allowing her to bring two girl friends along. This way she has time to assess me also and she will not be tagged a prostitute when in company of two other girls. I will soon transfer across to one of her girlfriends , if any of them is better than BN. I’ve done that before : )

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OK , will park pen now , and prepare for a tasty Pizza (Miss BN)
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Dispatch No.4.

Whilst tapping out stuff (Dispatch) on my laptop , I had the cable tv set at ‘mute’.

Looked up from the laptop and see on local Cebu channel 70 , Go-Go girls gyrating around , whorists drinking beer and chatting up LON’s ….. then text appears on the screen , ‘Sexy Girls’ etc. Would never happen in Thailand , where they want to hide their sex scene (loss of face : ) and of course , loss of revenue , if they go too hard at it (Thais). Didn’t the Thais ever here … “money rules” : )

Filipinos are not all that comfortable with prostitution either , but look at that , an advertisement/commercial on local TV promoting a GoGo Bar with shots of gals on stage in string bikini’s doing their thing. There is hope yet for mongers in SE Asia : )

Following the Silver Dollar GoGo Bar commercial there was Steves KTV commercial with GRO’s (Guest Relations Officers) chatting with guys etc. Reckon they should call them SRO’s (Sex Relations Officers) : ) Although getting sex from Steve’s gals is no easy task. They are ‘drinks gals’ , earning a basic salary plus a percentage of the expensive drinks. To my knowledge , the girls do not bar fine. Won’t be going there to find out , P2/300 for Ladies drinks just to talk bullshit ….. not for me.

I get the feeling the water is kicking in. Good.
Water power , way to go.

PIC ... Thommo's tidy room. Evidence of Golden Spring bottled water , plus a healthy diet of French Fries (McD's Phil now calling them 'Chips' .... 9/11 syndrome) and San Mig beer. Yes , I did clean room up after the shot , but wanted to capture my good and 'rebellious' work beforehand. Chicks were most impressed re the amount of water I drank : ) Seven big bottles in this shot .V. four small cans of beer. I don't go overseas to be a 'good' boy , I go overseas to be a bad boy. Rebelling against my previous 3 years of routine/conforming life style : )

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

Local Newspaper : Man shot dead at corner of Sanciangko and Borromeo Sts. Well , I was standing at the corner of Sanciangko and Palaez Sts , not that far away , the night before (remember Index finger guy ?) Things are happening : )

Strange thing , there is about 500 people who have died from flooding up North , Luzon , but not one mention of it in the local newspaper. First mentioned on TV a couple of days ago , then 350 people dead. No doubt mentioned in newspapers in Luzon , but no mention here in the Visayas. Imagine , 500 of their fellow countrymen dead and no mention of it in the local newspapers (Cebu).

Very parochial , Filipinos. Narrow vision , mainly centering on their immediate family.

How do I know 500 have died in floods ? The BBC TV , located at the other end of the world , has told me so.

I like doom ‘n gloom , couldn’t do without it. Keeps me on my toes/alert and makes me appreciate how lucky I am.

Directions :

Now , I like Filipino’s , so don’t take the following too hard. No tribe/nationality is perfect , including my own. Here is one of the frailties of the Filipinos :

“Pity you , if you ask for instructions”.

I will give you an example. Yesterday I asked at the major Pharmacy for ear plugs (for SF Disco and the loud band). The lady said , “ask Cashier over there”. I walk across to cashier and ask ‘earplugs’ , she asks fellow worker. Wala/nohave. Between her and customer standing by they direct me to a place further up the road. I go there , and they say ‘no , 4 doors up’. I try 4 doors up they say , ‘no , SM Sports’ (7/10kms away).

I catch a taxi ride to SM Shopping Mall , enter the SM Dept Store and ask for SM Sports. Shop Assistant presents blank face. Walk away from her and ask 2nd shop assistant , ‘blank face’ again. Ask 3rd person , cashier this time , she ‘doesn’t know’. Ask 4th person another cashier , and she directs me to a spot outside Dept Store. Her directions were clear and correct , surprise surprise. I enter ‘Sports House’ (apparently owned by SM) and ask for the earplugs ….’no ear plugs’, they say.

So you see , about 11 people involved , and a few kilometres covered , but still mission not accomplished , ha ha , d’ Philippines : )

Looks like when I go to SF Disco , I am going to take some toilet paper along with me and plug my ears with that. And this is a guy (me) who had a band and then a disco in days of yore. My , how times change : )

What do we have for you , in the local paper today ? Let’s see …. “99.9 per cent of Filipino males are circumcised and that’s one of the reasons Aids-HIV cases in the Philippines are not as high as in other countries”.

Comment - So , no need for condoms lads , so long as your circumcised , you’ll be right : )

And another one : “Plane makes crash landing Mactan Airport (Cebu). A six seater plane carrying Korean tourists was forced to crash land yesterday afternoon , at the Mactan (Cebu City) International Airport. All six passengers escaped injury. Pilot error was the cause of the crash”.

Comment - Was the pilot asleep , drunk or what ? : )

Apparently the government is going to finance re surfacing of the airports runway , cause a few planes tyres have exploded on landing recently , resulting in serious injury in some cases. Myself , I never knew that there was a runway problem until just now. Suppose pilots land at Cebu with trepidation ? Ignorance (for passengers) can be bliss.

After the airport strip they can start on the roads , which are a shambles.

And just to round off my comments , the classic headline in a Cebu newspaper I have ever read , was some time ago. It took up two thirds of the front page (text only) and it read (in bold red ink) : “Gay cuts dick off”. What a classic. Still have a copy of that , and can send it you , if you wish (when I return from overseas).

The gay wanted to be a woman. Took matters into his own hands , so to speak. Remember telling that to my elder brother , he never liked hearing about that. Reckons I have got a ‘sick humour’ , and he is most probably right : )

So the bewitching hour came , and Agent A arrives with a substitute she talked about before. Miss BN can not come , cause Daddy does not approve. Mumma approves (bless her soul) but Daddy does not. Apparently Daddy is a truck driver and takes off on a long journey Friday night , time to pounce says Mumma. ‘A’ tells me Friday night it is , but how many times has she said something like that before ? No worries , I am willing to wait for a quality non whore. And as I said before , once I get my hands on her she is going to know she has been in a fuck or two : )

So, how was the substitute you ask ? Looks : above average height , great smile and a non whore , but problem , she had a little bit of a thick waist. That’s a turn off for me. So I give her and 'A' some Pesos and she is away. She is going to Manila to be recruited by the Japanese Yakuza as a dancing girl (prostitute) in Japan. They say ‘cultural dancer’ and they even attend cultural dance classes in Manila before they board the plane. Well , they certainly dance cultural style , incl. traditional Filipino costumes when in Japan , but it’s a front for prostitution , don’t know if the girl is aware of that. Homeless , no parents , what choice has she got ? None. Did my best to clarify with her what she is letting herself in for .

Time to strike at SF Disco , its 11pm. A and the BN substitute have left. Arrive at SF attired in my best , with a thou pesos in my pocket ready to boogie. Head straight for bar , unfortunately only seat available is not good for ‘observations’. Nevertheless I park and find out beer is P80. Then two guys leave the bar , I transfer to their superior spot. Ten mins later , more luck , falang vacates his seat. This seat I have now is the top one , back to pillar (back covered : ) and better view of all the tables and thus girls. There is one gal , I will call Mousey , sitting in front and just below me. Bar is elevated. She is a cute mouse with a sunshade on. Caps , whatever , make girls look cute.

She has a flick look at me. Her girl friend is regular (not cute). Added to that there is a good looking babe with nice natural full sized boobs looking at me. Goes past me one or two times , but there is something wrong with her eyes. I don’t feel comfortable when I look into her eyes.

To toilet , chick with handbag in front of me enters gents toilets too ! . I’m thinking , hey what’s going on here , she’s made a mistake and entered the wrong toilets. Reckon she will backtrack out once she realises she is in the wrong toilet. But alas no , she does not backtrack and enters a cubicle , bag in hand. Why ? She is a he (transvestite/billy boy). Soos maria.

Return to my swivel bar stool , and notice good looker with nice round boobs eyeing me off again. Something clicks, I ask the gal working behind bar …. “billy boy/lady boy” ? Girl behind bar nods yes. I tell you what fella’s if those tits do not belong to a woman , who do they belong to ? Well , in this case they belong to a transvestite/billy boy/katoey , dats wot !

As some of you know , I am an ex band guy and disco guy (entertainer). I know something about bands , and man you would have to be dead drunk to give the SF lot/band on stage a pass mark. Terrible. Bass dominating too much , vocal amps turned up too high resulting in distortion etc. Noise yes , music no. But Hookers and Mongers are not there for the music , they are there for money (chicks) and sex (guys) .

Yep, SF is a dead ringer pick up/freelance joint and has replaced Club Circus disco. Rally to SF Disco lads , you will not be disappointed.

PIC ... Sunflower Disco , Lahug (Cebu). Left shot : entrance. Right shot : actual building itself.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

Sexy Dancer :

Highlight of the night at Sunflower is the ‘Sexy Dancer’ competition wherein they encourage ten or so girls from the audience to get up on the stage and do their thing. It took a long time for the MC to co-erce ten girls onto the stage , but eventually he got the required number. There were two outstanding girls , face , body the lot. One of which won the competition. All the girls were sexy dancers. About 75% were superior to any GoGo girl you would come across.

Phil people , incl the gals of course, can dance with the best of them. These gals on stage were entertaining and fun. One dancing gal caught my eye , and I was determined to see where she sat when she came off stage , but alas somehow she slipped through the cordon , and got back to her seat without me noticing.

Could not leave my number one spot at the bar to find her , it would not be there when I returned. Plus I had ‘mousey’ in front and below me. She had run out of drinks , so a little later when she came off the dance floor I caught her eye and offered her P200 rolled up as a cigarette and motioned to her it was for ‘drinks’. She smiled but did not come forward to take the money. Then 5 mins later I got the bar girl to call out to her and ask what drink she wants , mousey smiled and said ‘no’. OK , then her girlfriend appears and sits down at the table. I catch her eye , offer the ‘cigarette’. She gets up , comes across to me and I slip the cigarillo in her hand. Then she asks me the usual questions , “where you come from” , my answer …….. “clock tower” : )

Once mousey gets the money and orders drinks , she motions me to join them , so I do , whats the point of ‘observing’ (spider and fly) all the time. Extremely friendly girls , the Filipinas and most importantly they can carry a conversation , never short of a word , like me. Thailand different , girls do not have the same grip on English.

The band then plays a popular number , ‘mousey’ comes out of her shell , stands up next to our table shakes her head and body wildly , long hair whipping about all over the place. Think she is saying , “yahoo , got my man , got my man (rice money)”. We will call her girlfriend ‘regular’ cause she is not pretty and she is not ugly. Regular is in the spirit of things , but knows from past experiences she can not compete with the looks of ‘mousey’ and so goes with the flow. Whatever mousey earns tonight , she (regular) will get a piece of , that’s for sure , they are mates , they are a team.

Why put up with noise when there is a bang in the offing ? I take mousey and ‘regular’ out of the Disco and back to my room , wondering when ‘regular’ will offer to leave , so I can boogie with mousey , but the offer never came. We get on the bed , start fondling , off comes the clothes of BOTH girls , I start to fuck cute little mousey and whilst I do that , ‘regular’ feels my balls , runs her hands up and down my inner thighs and in general gives me a ‘tingle’ whilst I fuck her girlfriend. Mousey is very good at girlfriend style kissing and so its on for young and old. When I finished fucking mousey I washed my dick and return to bed , mousey had her eyes closed , ‘regular’ motions me to join her. Obviously mousey closed her eyes to give me the green light to fuck her friend.

Well ‘regular’ is most irregular in the sex scene. She is a great little mother fucker and knows how to get hers and my rocks off. She adds bbbj (blow job) to the menu. Nothing is off limits with this girl , so finished off with a good shafting of her ass , nice tits bouncing side to side : )

So, what have I got here , one very cute girl and one sex machine and unfortunately double expenditure. I will have to pay both the next morning. Oh well , I am on a vacation , not here to save money and these two are going to help make up for lost time. It took five days to get off the launching pad (start sex) but it looks like ‘situation normal’ from here on (lots of fucking).

Thinking about my confirmed flight to Thailand in two days time. Saun scored at SF also , but only one gal , older than my girls , quieter more serene type.

The show is finally on the road , and all this done without ‘contacts’ , ha ha. Well contacts of sorts , cause you guys who wrote in to the website , told me about the new Disco in Cebu , Sunflower.

Definitely SF has replaced Club Circus , much bigger and better place , only problem , the crap noise (‘band’) one has to put up with. Forgot to tell you , plugged my ears with serviette paper at SF , so the noise was a dull thud and thus tolerable.

Well ‘regular’ gal vacuumed me so well , and mousey just kept smiling They changed roles ,sometimes I was fucking ‘regular’ whilst mousey blew in my ears , lick and kiss my neck , my ass etc. What a team : ) Gave them P1000 (U$20) each plus P50 for taxi and told em might be at SF again that night.

Problem is , Agent A will now most probably front up with Miss BN (Beautiful Neighbour) and I am supposed to take her to SF too. There was a mix of good and bad girls at SF , so think Miss BN will fit in there. Might get Saun to walk in with BN and we take a seat far from the bar , that might do the trick. Cunning as these girls are , no doubt mousey and ‘regular’ will arrive early and watch front door for my arrival. The fact that we take a seat as far away from the Bar as pos might give them the hint , “not tonight babes” , ha ha.

It’s always the same , famine or feast. At least we have got the right sort of problem now , especially in my case ….. too much sex … mousey and ‘regular’ : )

Meeting ‘A’ at 4pm today to fine tune arrangements with BN. After that Agent ‘C’ is scheduled to call. He reckons he knows where we can get aluminium dog tags (Holy Grail).

Things are looking more positive , but alas we have that ticket to Thailand , what to do , go to Thailand now or stay a while ?

Stay tuned : )

Dispatch No.5.

So the bewitching hour arrived , 4pm , ‘A’ said everything is in order re BN , all systems go. She will bring the girls (3) to Waterfront Hotel 8pm in the lobby. So much for that.

As scheduled , Agent ‘C’ then called and informs me he has found a shop with Aluminium Dog Tags , d’ Holy Grail of whoring. We head on down there (downtown) only to find they are steel. C , understanding the problem says he knows of a guy who works with aluminium , we hop in the taxi and enter a slum dwelling , guy asleep in amongst the penned up chooks. Pieces of extracted aluminium lying around. His wife awakens him , he rubs his eyes , has a look at the sample steel dog tag and announces , yes he can make them , with his bare hands. Pesos25 each which is one fifth what they cost me in my home country. But will they have a polished finish suitable for anodising and engraving ? Only time will tell. He will stoke up the fire and set to work. We are to return 3pm tomorrow to pick up first sample. I am not hopeful , but I am amused at this gents ability to make a dog tag out of smelted aluminium from a rubbish dump. Photo’s will be taken of his ‘foundry’etc and uploaded to website on my return.

Eating now at different places , Kiwi became boring. Seafood at Lighthouse Restaurant , is excellent. Red meat at Eddies Log Cabin and first time it was not so great. One of my waiters has died a year ago. Nothing stays the same. The other waiter corrected me when I said Eddie had seven wives , “no nine” says he. Eddie had a couple more up his sleeve that he did not tell me about. So I am alternating between Lighthouse and Eddies right now.

Came across the driver from hell. It was raining and peak hour , a dangerous mix. Taxis at a premium , everyone fighting to get in one. I manage to secure a taxi , we get stuck in the traffic , driver starts cursing , then he loses patience and does things filipino drivers do not normally do … take risks. As time goes by his temper is raised , unusual in the Philippines. This guy is the first angry taxi driver I have ever come across in the Phil. He starts blasting his horn, flicking his lights up and down , winding down the window and yelling to driver in front of him etc. Whenever he got a clear break he broke the speed limit. At one stage he darted down a laneway against the traffic. It was a one way road , but he decided to make it a two way road. Oncoming cars dived to the side of the road , most probably thinking my driver was on shabu (drugs) or something. Then later , sneaking past two rows of cars the back right wheel Slipped down a culvit.

Saun and I thought we’d have to get out and lift car out of it , but no , driver decided to burn rubber and finally got the car out of the hole. It was a new car , an older car would not have been able to do that. At our destination I gave him a good tip , thought that might make him happy/calm him down a bit , cause otherwise he was heading for an accident.

Later on in the day it’s the moment of truth. Sitting in Waterfront Hotel Lobby , dressed in my very best and fully cashed up (P5000 on hand) waiting for a beauty by the name of Miss BN and her two companions. 8pm was the agreed time , ‘A’ chaperoning them to the spot. It was not until 9pm that ‘A’ walked in through the front door of Waterfront and of course you guessed it , with only one gal , reasonably attractive and well presented but not Miss BN as promised.

‘A’ says Daddy’s truck broken down , he is not driving tonight so BN can not escape. Too many stories , too little action.

I give the girl Pesos100 and Agent A one hundred to cover transportation whatever and then give A a dressing down in front of the girl. I said “I don’t travel thousands of kilometres from the other side of the world to hear stories”.

Agent A is now downgraded to Agent.C , the ‘contact from hell’.

I split , and head for Sunflower , but its too early. Sit outside at ‘garden restaurant’ drink a beer and check the girls arriving. 10.30pm decided to pounce and entered Sunflower and head for my favourite spot at the bar , back to the pillar , swivel chair , slightly elevated , can see all around me. Plug my ears and settle down to wait for Mousey and Regular to accost me : ) I am like a neon sign , they can see me at the bar easily , wherever they are.

Ooops , drunk foreigner next to me , leans right into my ear and mumbles something , almost spitting in my ear and most probably spitting in my beer as he does so. You can’t hear what people are saying at the bar , too close to the speakers. I just smile and nod yes all the time. Then 5 mins later he does the same again and I pick up on a few words. He says “where does the money come from”, I signal don’t know (and don’t know what he is talking about either). He leans into my face and screams “exploitation and slavery”. Shit , I come to a disco to get a lay , not a sermon on Philippine politics.

I look around , and there are my two guardian angels , mousey and regular , all smiles heading towards me. I hop off the bar stool and go with them to their table. So much for the drunk.

The girls are really excited , they’ve got a cock to suck and an ass to lick : )

As I hate the band (the noise , not even loud music) I quickly usher the girls out of SF and back to my room for some more ‘ablutions’. We went at it from around 11.30pm to 12noon the next day. A good ‘cleaning out’. Informed girls of my plan to go to Thailand and that …. In the true General McArthur tradition , “I shall return”. If it wasn’t for these girls , my tour of Phil would have been a disaster. Gave them some cute little souvenirs from my home country , plus a thou each and they were happy and on their way.

Now that the girls have left , I have a busy day ahead of me , tying up loose ends , including a visit to the dog tag ‘foundry’. Following day it will be Thailand.

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First stop Phil Airlines (PAL) to see if typhoon has cancelled my flight . No , all systems go. Next Gilmore Tailors and pick up track pants.

Junquerra Brothel :

Then to the infamous brothel of a place called Junquerra to see a VIP resident there. We will call him V. Taxi enters Junquerra proper (see photo’s on my return from trip) and we ask for V but the dongs (boys) think I am there for chicks and bring forward some ‘bottom feeders’ (low level LON’s). Eventually I meet V and ask him to meet me at nearby ‘Our Place’ Bar at 5pm. Can not talk inside Jonquerra , too many people crowding around me.

After that , return to my accom to pick up floppy and send Dispatch at Internet Café.

Then to leatherworker , who fixes my damaged leg pouch on a 45yr old Singer Industrial (boots , belts etc) machine. Pesos 10 (U$0.20c). Step outside his shop and stand on footpath waiting for taxi and spy the best looking girl so far on this tour. Shades of ‘Lovely Louella’ (Phil story on website). Noticing me and my hungry ‘stare’ , she slowly turns around so I’m now looking at her back , meaning … “not interested”. I walk past her and give her my back : ) (not interested , but interested : ). No taxi , so catch Jeepney uptown. Pesos5 , used to be P0.30c.

Alight Jeepney , and whilst walking to Internet Café to send Dispatch I see a curvy gal tapping on a door. She turned around and looked my way. Nice one , I say “hello” as I pass by , she gives out with a big cheesy grin and responds. Pity thought I , cause she is standing opposite a house where the residents know of my mongering ways , what a pity. I go to Internet send Dispatch and return 20 or so mins later and find this ‘body’ sitting out front of the house chatting with another girl. No one else is around , this is an opportunity too good to miss , so I stop and say “hello how are you” etc . Observe she has full size boobs , curvy body and curly hair and a great smile. This is the best ‘available’one I have talked to on tour so far. Good girl though. I say , “we go to Disco tonight” , she smiles and wiggles , no reply. This means , ‘not so fast , can not go with you right now’. I ask here name , Irene , so then I sing to her that old song ‘Irene goodnight , goodnight ….etc’. Then tell her I have a gift for her , to wait a min. Go to my nearby accom and grab 3 cute little items , return and hand them to her. “Very romantic” says I . She grins and wiggles again. I sense its not appropriate to put any more pressure on her at this point of time and so leave the scene.

Problem is , I am going to Thailand tomorrow. I would cancel flight if I thought I could bang Miss Body within 2/3days but I think she is a 21day project. Viz , 7/10 days to get her to go to Disco and another 7/10 days to bang her. So , off to Thailand and have some fun with her when I return , IF I can locate her . Havent a clue where she lives , but presume she will ask about me at my place of accom , and they will only tell good things about me (good relations)b , not the bad things (LON’s). I will call from Thailand 3 days before arrival and reserve a room , hopefully Miss Body will hear about that and present herself again?

I got an erection just talking to her, that’s how good she was.

She’s a cookie in the oven , will turn the heat up on her later : )

5pm met V , got his address again (lost it a year or two ago) and get ok to call at Junquerra one day and take some photo’s.

Jackpot :

Back to my accom and its only 12hours before my plane takes off for Manila and then Bangkok. Tap tap on the door its Agent ‘D’ , the contact from hell , formerly known as ‘A’ , the contact from heaven , and she steps insided my room with a nice girl in tow. Best smile yet , nice round legs and certainly no whore. Now I've got something to work on. My immediate thoughts , ‘get down to PAL Office and cancel my flight to Bangkok’ !

Apart from the suitable body , her biggest feature was her bubbly personality , so I will code name her “Bubbles”. Miss Body and Miss Bubbles on the same day. Things are improving.

Bubbles is with her Auntie (chaperone). I arrange for Auntie and Bubbles to return 6pm. And dash down to PAL Office and manage to cancel my flight , delaying it 6 more days. Should have fucked bubbles silly by then : ) Gotta go to Thailand , can’t keep putting it off forever. On return from Thailand I will bang Bubbles all over again. She is a good girl and will wait for me , she is no whore. Good girls will wait , bad girls will not.

Following success with Bubbles , looks like I will have to reclassify Agent D back to where she was before as ‘Agent A’ (heaven).

Agent C called with the hand made aluminium Dog Tag sample. Bloody beautiful , I am impressed , and it looks much better than the machine made steel ones from China. P40 each (without necklace). U$0.90c for someone to hand make a great looking Dog Tag , unreal. Cant wait to get home , have it anodised black and then engraved. Classy looking tag this one. Will decide overnight , how many to order with 'foundry worker'. Gonna enjoy sitting at bars with one of these hanging around my neck : ) It’ll be a conversation piece.

Bubbles returns with Auntie , that’s ok , I know she is not accustomed to being with foreigners and I am patient for someone like her. Got a feeling she is going to be the star of this trip. Why do I say that ? Well , she has a very good body , highlight being her thighs and tiny waist. Nice round thighs I would like to slip in between and a tiny waist. Tiny waist usually means good ass (contrast). Being a good girl I don’t want her to catch me eyeing off her ass , but will check that aspect of hers next time she calls. Today is just ‘familiarisation’ day and alluding to the ‘terms of engagement’. Auntie has to know that at some stage , chaperoning is ‘out’.

No doubt in my mind Bubbles will be good sex. With a body like that and such lovely generous natural smile (not the fake Thai version : ) she’s gonna be good. Big tell tale sign is her body language. She is as keen as all hell on me (what gal wouldn’t be : ) and wiggles about whenever we converse. Sure sign she is excited in my presence.

Auntie says she is trying to get Bubbles a job in a factory. Ten hours a day , six days a week for Pesos480. Imagine , Pesos8 per hour , and there are guys going to Thailand/Philippines paying the equiv of Pesos1, 000 an hour for a dead set whore. Madness.

As Bubbles has no job , and short on sexy clothes (apart from her short tight mini dress which highlights her lovely thighs) I offered to take her shopping next day for shoes. First day shoes , then another day top , then dress or jeans. Gonna make this girl look smart , she is going to be with me a lot … lovely companion potential. She is hesitant to come shopping with me alone , so no worries Auntie can come , but third day she has to gather the courage to be alone with me , if not … ‘project cancelled’. I don’t mind romance , its nice , but it’s been a long time in between ‘drinks’ , I need sex too. It’s been three years of going without , so I am not going to overdose on ‘romance’. Lust or love ? Give me lust everytime : )

I have definitely lost Miss Body , the curly haired gal with the nice boobs. Shame , cause she would have been a good sideliner , but ‘Bodies’ girl friend saw me walk past with Bubbles , so end of ‘Body’ methinks. Yesterday I never thought I’d have the problem of being caught out ‘butterflying’ the very next day.

So , tomorrow its Shopping (Bubbles) , Holy Grail (Dog Tag) and eating. Got nothing else to do now but fuck. So Bubbles has to get on the bed and give it to me. Within 24hrs we will begin a sex session which will last until my plane leaves for Thailand.

It’s both fortunate and unfortunate that I have met Bubbles (via Agent A) , cause when I get to Thailand I will be pining (lusting) for her instead of thinking of the Thai Babes. There will be nothing like her in Thailand , that much I am sure of.

OK , the clock is ticking. Within 24hrs Bubbles and I are on the bed and going for it. Lots of perspiration , wet blankets (her cum) and re-hydrating with water. Its going to be a session. Thirty years of whoring tell me I have a memorable ‘soul mate’ vivacious Bubbles.

Dispatch .No.6. within 48 hrs , or my names not Thomas.

C. Ya then : )

Dispatch No.6.

Last night Auntie and Bubbles left my room around 9pm , forgot what I did after that , could not have been too exciting : ) ………………………………

Junquerra Brothels :

8am I am at Junquerra (Brothels) where V greets me. He takes me on a detailed tour of the entire Junquerra area. It’s a ‘bottom feeder’ brothel. Both customers and gals are bottom feeders : ) My apologies to Mongers who frequent the place : )

I took note of places of interest , and will get my ‘fall guy’ (sucker : ) to go down there and take appropriate photo’s. Not smart nowadays , for a foreigner to take photos of politically sensitive places.

Of most interest will be the photo’s of the short time rooms. Quite a joke really. Up narrow steep stairway to about five short time rooms. Very small grubby rooms , just enough space to stand next to the bed. No windows/ventilation , no fan and bloody hot at 8am in the morning.V reckons plenty of foreigners fuck in those rooms. That’s something I’d like to see , a foreigner going up those steep steps with a Junquerra ‘bottom feeder’. The ultimate in Cebu sleaze , methinks.

PICS (4) ... Pic 1 : Junquerra Squatter Settlement. "Town Centre". Where the folks and girls reside , not where the foreigners go to select the 'bottom feeder' babes. Note trash in foreground. Pic 2 : Junquerra. Deeper inside the settlement. Note sign on Police vehicle : "Serve the Public Trust , Protect the Innocent". Noble words indeed : ) Pic 3 : Junquerra. Stairway to Heaven. Up these steps go the bottom feeder gals 'n guys to tiny little 'boom boom' rooms. Note Coca Cola signs used for walls , and rusted corrugated iron at back of steps. It was at these steps that I met 'Bin Ladens Sister' : ) Pic 4 : Junquerra. Action Central , where it all happens. Tiny little rooms , no ventilation or fan in 31 degrees celcius tropical (humid) climate. Enough room to swing a cat , only. 'Sweat boxes' for doin' the deed. My guide told me Foreigners actually bang in these rooms. No extra charge for the 'sauna' : ) Sleave Heaven , indeed. Note tape over thin mattress. Bed bugs , lice etc assured : )

Note : Pics removed , to save downloads.

Came down stairway and V points out a reasonable looking whore at bottom of steps , age 25yrs at a guess. V says “she is muslim”. I say “oh Bin Ladens sister” pop the eyes out of my head , shake my hands in fear , shuffle my feet and run a short distance away , pretending to be scared. Surrounding boys laugh , think it’s a good one , so do I , but not the Lady. On departing , I turned around smiled and said to the woman , “only joking”. She stayed pensive , wasn’t impressed with my sense of humour.

It’s 8.50am , little bit of washing , see news on tele then Agent C is calling and we are off to the Holy Grail Foundry (Dog Tag foundry).

……………………………..
Back from foundry , took photo’s , gave deposit for thirty dog tags. He needs four days to produce thirty dog tags (hand made). Who are going to be the lucky initial thirty to wear these beautifully hand made aluminium dog tags ? Could be you : )

PICS (2) ... Pic 1 : Down this alley , and into the honeycomb of bamboo squatter houses to the beholder of the 'Holy Grail' ....... Whorist Dog Tags. Pic 2 : Our Man , diligently handmaking Whorist Dog Tags out of aluminium beer cans. How appropriate , San Mig cans : ) Hand crafted dog tags , way to go. Next step (back home/clock tower) .... anodising , artwork , then engraving.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

I cancel A and the Dept Store girl , she will be there today and everyday and I am in love with Bubbles : )

To Internet Café 12noon , then siesta , then Bubbles ‘n Auntie … shopping for shoes. Calm before the storm. Bubbles has to unload the following day or its all off. I would not buy in advance for a whore , but for a good girl , it helps ‘open the legs’. She will feel obliged to return a favour. A whore wouldn’t feel obliged at all.

Will Bubble burst ?

So its now 4.33pm Bubbles was due at 4pm. On other occasions she was early , now she is late. Thinking back , I am now wondering if Auntie has intervened. Yesterday Auntie received a cellphone call for her cousin. “He is a bakla” says Auntie. Well bakla’s are transvestites like the katoeys of Thailand. Auntie wanted me to meet the bakla , I said “no , don’t like bakla’s”. She seemed upset at that. Later on same evening she says “I bring my boyfriend along , make foursome”. I said “no, too many people”. What I had in mind was reducing the numbers , eliminating Auntie and making it a twosome , just Bubbles and me. Auntie had other plans.

So now , next day I am thinking , looks like Auntie wanted to start running the show and seeing she could not , she has put the foot down on Bubbles and told her something like “no , we do not see Thomas anymore”. Not sure , could be wrong.

Filipino’s are notorious for being late 30/45 mins not being uncommon , so it might be just a case of ‘filipino time’ (being late).

Tomorrow 10am organised with A to go to Colon Street and interview Department Store girl. She will be in store uniform and thus a bit cute. That will not fool me , I will be trying to assess her body under that uniform , and of course I will be assessing her personality. Want a bright bubbly girl like Bubbles.

Well , I did everything right with Bubbles , will never kiss ass for sex , never. So if what I did doesn’t please Auntie , tough luck (for me). Bubbles is very keen on me , but maybe Auntie is no longer keen on me : )

…………………………………
Patience is a virtue. I will wait and see what evolves.

And what did evolve ?

4.50pm , knock knock on the door its Bubbles and Auntie. Receptionist had mistakenly told them I was out , hence they were waiting in Foyer for me thinking I was not in my room. Misunderstanding by Receptionist. Off to SM Mall , cause I think shoe prices more reasonable there , Ayala too yuppie. I take a seat at French Bakery whilst the girls do their research for shoes. At ‘French’ two tables with foreigners on them , both front tables , perving on passing girls. I realise too many teeny boppers at Shoe Mart , Ayala has a more mature sophisticated gal , say 22yrs.

Then Bubbles & Auntie return , saying they have located the shoes. Both tables of foreigners are eyeing off Bubbles and wondering how they can get a girl like that. Blood sweat and tears guys , finding 'n training ‘contacts’.

Amuses me when they look envious. They have never thought of developing contacts and do not understand that Asians work better via intermediaries/contacts. The direct approach is only second best to the indirect (‘Contact’) approach. Initially , most effective way is to get an Asian gal to approach an asian gal. “Set a thief to catch a thief” , set an Asian to catch an Asian : )

The girls lead me to a boutique shoe shop , yuppie shop , not what I expected. Shoes P850 , I thought P5/600 in the SM Dept Store would have been enough , but no Bubbles selected a pair in a boutique shop and that means an expensive pair. Yes , I know you are saying “oh its only U$17” approx , but remember Bubbles is going to work for U$9 per week , 60hour working weeks. Would you spend two weeks basic salary in your home land on a pair of shoes for a gal your interested in ? That is , U$1000/2000 plus on a gal you have not even banged ?

The problem is , Bubbles seems to have a ….. “it’s only peanuts” attitude , and that does not auger well for keeping her cost down. Where did a provincial girl get an attitude like that ? I suspect Auntie , cause when we were walking towards the boutique Auntie had a strange look on her face when she said to me “shoes expensive”. Testing me out to see if I care or not. I wasn’t too happy with the price but kept cool and handed over the money to the sales girl. Told sales girl I liked the shoes , and enquired if she had a pair that would fit me too : ) That broke up the ‘money side’ of the transaction a bit. Didn’t want to dampen a budding romance and both Auntie and Bubbles exploited that aspect , I suspect. After all , it was my idea to go ‘shopping’ : )

Then to Ayala and Idea Italia Coffee Shop. I tell Bubbles to call 6pm the next day , she says she has no money for taxi , yet I gave her P500 the day before. Even though this girl is from the province (Bohol) and is definitely no whore some ‘commercialism’ seems to be creeping in. Why is this so ? Then I start to think of Agent A , what the hell did she tell these girls , that I am a multi millionaire or sucker or what ? Admittedly ‘A’ would have had to tell some shit to get someone like Bubbles to come forward and meet a foreigner stranger , but what shit did she actually tell them ?

Anyway , at Italia Ayala I told Bubbles “do not think too much about money , problems if you do”. Gotta to start reigning in this “peanuts” attitude or it will spoil the romance. It’s not the cost that concerns me , its just , I don’t want to be on the receiving end of ‘money conversations’ all the time , and if I do not nip Bubbles ‘it’s only peanuts’ attitude in the bud early , that’s what will happen …….money talk all the time.

Tomorrow morning I am going with Agent A to Dept Store girl so I will ask A what the hell she told Bubbles before she agreed to meet me.

Anyway, Bubbles is committed to calling 6pm by herself. Auntie is going to call 10pm for what reason I am not sure , either to pick up Bubbles or just check that everything is alright.

If I do not get value tomorrow , 6pm - 10pm it’s adios Bubbles.

……………………………………….
Off now to Danny , street dweller , and give him cigs , coke and a big Mac. Ooops he is not there. ………………………………………..

So yet another early and innocent night and yet another early rise the next morning …………………………………………………
Problem is , the clock is ticking and this morning there is only four more days before my plane for Thailand takes off. Can I change my departure yet again ? Sure can …………………………………………………………
OK this morning I will go down to Junquerra , see V and cancel arrangement to call that night and photograph Junquerra at night (Bubbles is calling same night). Want photo’s of the area foreigners pick up the “bottom feeders”. You Thai philes would be interested to see that , methinks.
……………………………………
After Junquerra , its breakfast at Kiwi cause they open at 7am. Then Agent A at 10am for interview of Shop Assistant. Will take shop assistant seriously cause I have not yet banged Bubbles and might never do so. Bubbles might be ‘eye candy’ only , just there to extract shoes and anything else from me , you never know. So, I might need Shop Assistant (SA) for sex yet.

This trip , think I will be satisfied with one good gal at any one time. On previous trips juggled more than one gal at same time , but its more relaxing if ya’ honest and only have one gal , so that’s what I think I will do this trip. But theory and practice never work out : )

Dreaming of Bubbles :

It’s now 6.30am , only 11 and a half hours to countdown , when Bubbles enters my room. It will not be a case of slam bam , thank you ma-am. This is a ‘girl next door’ type and so I will have to take it easy in getting those pants off. Already rehearsing the scenario , as follows :

First on bed , second kissing only , then hands caressing up and down inner thighs if she has a dress on , if jeans ….. problem : ) Then when brushing up and down her thighs will make ‘accidental’contact with her pussy (pants still on). Then from accidental , I will start caressing pussy (pants still on). With passionate kissing and caressing of pussy I will get the green light to slip off pants to just above her knees and then caress pussy itself. Then slip the pants off totally , ever so slowly and gently , avoiding any ‘assertive’ moves. Push dress back to her tiny waist and slip the dick in. Only two or three ins and outs , then off with the dress and the real fucking begins.

I do not expect BJ or anal first time around. This girl has yet to be corrupted , and what better instructor could she have in that department , than Thomas himself : )

Is all this ….. “in my dreams” stuff ?

Stay tuned : )

PS : And what happened to Miss Beautiful Neighbour (BN) ? Don’t worry Agent A would not have forgotten her. ‘A’ is waiting for Daddy to fix his truck and take off on a long haul , then she will smuggle BN into my room , whilst staying on guard not far from my accommodation , to thwart attempts of any other girls (viz Bubbles) entering my room.

‘A’ is good in that respect. She is tenacious and does not give up on a good chick . Why ? There is a nice little commission in it for her if she succeeds , that’s why. P500 (U$10) in fact , one weeks work for someone in a factory. But only if I screw the chick , otherwise P100 tip for time spent on the project.

Good , the potential size of my ‘harem’ is growing : )

So up around 6.30am , to V cancel night ‘shoot’ at Junquerra , to Kiwi have brekky. …………………………….. 10am meet ‘A’ and head downtown to Dept Store girl. Her face and body is not acceptable. 60/90 secs with her then to another one , Cashier this time , working only 100mtrs away , also not acceptable.

‘A’ then informs me Miss Beautiful Neighbour is all set to rendezvous with me today. I nominate the time of 4pm , two hours before Bubbles arrives.

Beautiful Neighbour :

And would you believe it Miss Beautiful Neighbour (BN) actually arrives with girl friend in tow. Yep , BN is beautiful alright. About 5.3” tall , 5’6” in high heels , very good body , including good sized boobs , great face and even greater sweet smile. This is a sweet girl , no wonder Daddy keeps a close eye on her.

This very nice girl has got the sweetest of smiles indicating she is no quick fuck , in fact I doubt if anyone could fuck her within 2/3 months , and then he might find she is a virgin. She’s not giggly bubbly like Bubbles , not full of emotion. Sort of calm controlled , reminiscent of Thai babes.

Consequently , doubt if she’d be a great fuck for anyone other than her husband , and even then she would take time to ‘loosen up’ . Cannot imagine her sucking some ones cock. Too sweet and calm for that : )

Suggested she bring a bunch of girls along next time and we go to Voodoo Disco (not spelt that way) , one of her favourites. Free entrance , but I’ll buy the drinks. Might be a hottie amongst her girlfriends ?

Might convert BN into a contact ? Doubtful , she is not that type : ) Make her an Agent without her knowing , that is , always encouraging her to bring girlfriends along. This would suit her , cause I am sure it would be hard to get a solo date with BN. Daddy would not approve , for starters : )

Gave her and girlfriend usual souvenir type gifts , plus P200 for ‘taxi’. We say ‘taxi’ but we know they will catch a Jeepney and keep the 200 for more important things such as ‘food’. Actually she would not accept the money from me , had to give it to her girlfriend and tell her girlfriend to pass on to BN. This she did in front of me , so Daddy has told BN , “don’t accept money from strangers”. So BN accepts if from her girlfriend = no need to tell Daddy a lie : )

I do not blame Daddy for keeping a close eye on this one , she is too sweet to get messed up by someone seeking short time sex : ) ‘A’ said Daddy is big and a Karate expert (plus truck driver , imagine !). ‘A’ is scared of him , hence maybe the reason it took her so long to bring BN forward. If I was staying in Phil 2/3 months think I would bang BN. But do not think I will bang her in 2/3 weeks … mission impossible.

So , after the girls departed I was wondering how BN would explain to Daddy about the ‘gifts’ ? Where did the cute ‘foreign’ gifts come from ?

Hope there is no big bang on the door tonight ! : )

So here I sit tapping this out waiting for Bubbles to arrive at 6pm on her own.

Whether or not I catch the flight to Thailand depends on Bubbles. If she can suck and fuck with the best of them , I might cancel the flight to Thailand yet again (3rd time)

I am already in love with bubbly Bubbles.

Love and sex together , what more could a person want ? : )

Better park pen here , this Dispatch is already five plus pages long on my laptop. That’s long enough for any email : )

Lukim yu ( c. ya ) in 48 hrs …………. Thommo

Dispatch No.7.

Well , I am typing this out in my room , 5am in the semi dark. All lights off , only illumination coming from my laptop. Bubbles is half awake on the bed. We are waiting for 6.30am when I will escort her back to her boarding house.

On the way I will stop the taxi at Danny’s spot and see if he is there. Taking a little plastic bag with me , contents : About P20 in coins , a P20 note , pack of Fortune Cigarettes (favourite of the Street Urchins ‘A’ tells me) and a cold can of beer. Was going to give him a bottle of water but only have big bottles. He would not be able to carry that about with him I suspect , so something small and the only thing I have got in my fridge that is small is a can of San Mig Light. Might be a thrill for him to have a beer ? There is no way he could buy one cause his clothes , body and hair are a filthy mess. Could not enter a shop. He is a pariah in a way. No one gets anywhere near him. Suspect I am the only one to hand him anything. Yet , there must be others cause , otherwise how would he survive so long ?

OK , you want to know how Bubbles performed , right ? Mmmmmm

After having watched soapies for about an hour and a half she was ready for ‘sleep’. She laid down on the bed fully clothed , jeans on etc. So, I did likewise , not treating her like a whore. She then threw her leg over me , a sign she was ready to ‘mate’. So slid her jeans off and her very ordinary (not sexy) Department Store pants off. Found on entry her pussy was quite wet , good sign , but alas it was not Filipino regular small. She had a slightly bigger pussy than is usual (excited ?) , and then started gyrating her arse in a circular fashion. Some guys would like that , but not me for some reason. Think it’s because she is starting to take the initiative away from me ?

Well , the slightly larger than expected (but comfortable) pussy plus the gyrations caught me off guard , didn’t expect either. Overall she was a pretty good bang (f . . k) , but wasn’t passionate enough , and wasn’t too interested in kissing. All the signs of a girl who has a boyfriend tucked away somewhere , most probably Bohol , where she goes tomorrow ?

Her story is , there is a problem back at Bohol and Grandma has come to collect her and take her back for a few short days. Truth most probably is , she is going back to visit her boyfriend whom she misses (?)

Anyway , she is nothing extra special in bed , but she is special out of bed (playful , good humoured , smiley personality girl). So , she just might retain her place with me … as a part time f . . k : ) But for serious fucking , I have to look elsewhere …. and not towards ‘BN’ , much as I’d like to bang her too.

Will ask ‘A’ to see if she can get BN into my room alone during the day. Daddy should be able to let her out during the day time surely , and anyway he has to go to work sometime and get money for the family. Perhaps I should pay Daddy a visit and tell him to ‘rest up’ , relax and I will provide the family income , provided his daughter is ‘accommodating’ ? : )

Somehow I don’t think he would appreciate that : )

Agent A is calling 10am this morning. She told me yesterday that she has another fish in the frying pan , waiting for someone like me to come along and ‘cook it.

I offered to buy A much needed reading glasses. She has spent too much time sitting too close to computer/tv screens too often , consequently damaging her eyes. My ‘compassion’ towards her will pay dividends methinks. Ulterior motive : )

So , I told her ‘one stop shop’ today , that is , bring the ‘fish’ along to the optometrists and we will buy glasses and interview ‘fish’at the same time. ‘Fish’ will also see I am “kind hearted” (buying glasses for ‘A’) , something the Asians appreciate.

As I just finished the last sentence , Bubbles got off the bed , has gone to the shower. Looks like we are leaving soon. Nope , she comes out unshowered and switches on the tv , more soapies I suspect. That’s better anyway , I don’t like escorting non whores in taxis before the sun comes up. Taxi driver might get silly ideas driving along in the dark. Taxi drivers are not interested in whores but are interested in ‘good/bad’ girls , especially when they are in the company of a foreigner.

Told Bubbles we will leave 6.30am , that way the sun will be up and on return from her place in the taxi I will call in to Kiwi (opens 7am) , have brekky , read yesterdays Sun Star etc My usual early start to a day.

To tell you the truth , Bubbles was a bit of a disappointment in bed. Might be she needs more of my cock to get ‘organ-ised’ ? Anyway , I have a limited vacation and will request Agent ‘A’ to find something a bit more ‘passionate’.

In three days time it will be Thailand too. Whilst away , Agent A might find something special ? She had better , or I will take back the glasses : )

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So cute Bubbles and I catch the taxi around 6.15am , first stop Danny’s spot , he is not there. On the long journey to Bubbles place I notice she is sad , looking out the other window , maybe hiding a tear or two ? Its not cause she is splitting from me its cause of her sister in Bohol. She’s hospitalised for something don’t know what. Strange isn’t it , Bubbles and my sister both in hospital same time.

So Bubbles is thinking more of her ill sister and the trip to Bohol with Grandma to visit her. Perhaps that was the reason for ‘heartless’ performance the night before ? My theory of Bohol boyfriend might be wrong. Told her not to hurry back. She was planning on returning Friday morning but I leave for Thailand 5am Sat so not much value for either of us. Looks like I might have seen Bubbles for the last time. During my two weeks in Thailand we will lose contact , and on return I don’t want a ordinary f . . k in my room. Want a gal like Bubbles who will ‘get into it’ , get wound up. Bubbly out of bed is all very fine , but bubbly in bed is more important.

So, I drop off sad Bubbles then to Kiwi for brekky where I read the Fair and Fearless Freeman newspaper. Front headlines : “Cops to get brains next”.

Comment - Yes , that would help.

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So , where am I going to get my ‘nookie’, this Wed Thurs Friday night ? Thinking of turning ‘regular’ gal (Mousey’s friend) into an Agent , with the advantage , if she failed to recruit I could actually bang her . Mmm worth a thought. That’s the way I started with Agent ‘A’ she was an exciting bang originally then I turned her into an Agent/recruiter. She earned more banging with me so originally she came to my room empty handed. The only way to get out of that cycle was never to bang her again and it was then that she started having success in finding girls for me.

Met ‘A’ , went to Acebedo Optometrists and put deposit on glasses , we return 5pm to pick them up. ‘A’ tells me superchick cannot come now , it’s gonna be 2pm. OK I will interview her in my room 2pm. Need to fuck a superchick , one that has not got ‘problems’ spinning around in her head like Bubbles.

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Yeh , you guessed it , Agent ‘A’ arrives with superchick and to my trained eye she is no superchick at all. But hey , when I look into her eyes I see brains. Her body movements represents ‘spunk’. This gals got brains and she has got ‘fire’. Got a gut feeling she would make an excellent recruiter of chicks (Agent) ? yes/no ? Codename : ‘Brains’.

So , in front of Agent A , I proposition her to become an Agent. She can start her apprenticeship 10am tomorrow and bring a chick to my room. Tell her not to worry , I will pay commission to her and commission to Agent A. Of course I will not do this forever. If ‘Brains’ is good then she will deliver (chicks) secretly without the knowledge of ‘A’ and so no need for double commissions. Looks like Agent ‘B’ has been ‘downsized’/finished. Only A , C and now. If brains succeeds she will be the new Agent B. I wouldn’t want any more than three at any one time. They all need ‘feeding’ : )

Only problem , I am not sure if ‘Brains’ is honest. She is intelligent , but maybe too smart for her own good ? She will call tomorrow morning with her first (and maybe last) ‘offering’ (chick)..

Now , had a little more time to think about it , think I will let ‘A’ screen ‘D’s’ babes That way I do not waste time. When D has got it all sorted out (my requirements) no need for A to screen , and no more need for double commissions.

Yeh , dats d’ way to go. One has got to keep trying and keep experimenting with Agents (contacts). Three years ago I was experimenting with a high heeled bayut (trans-sexual) , funny one that. ‘She-he’ got out of control , did not respect my wishes so “downsized” (eliminated) ‘she/he’ very swiftly.

Right now its 2.10pm , ‘A’ arrived 25 mins early (wrong clock , no two clocks in Cebu tell the same time : ). I am a little pissed/drunk , only a little. Got a feeling my reconnoitre in Mandaue City with ‘C’ is going to be fun , fun.

Stay tuned for my Mandaue manoeuvres and ‘Brains’ delivery the following morning..

Just around the corner , wont be long : )

PS : Latest flash news via Agent A is : Miss Beautiful Neighbour/BN (and she is truly beautiful) , has put in a request for ‘Thailand Tea’. (told her before I am going to Thailand).

Never knew there was such a thing as ‘Thailand Tea’ ? Oh well , when I am there I will enquire.

The fact that she has put in a request proves she is still thinking of me and has thought of a way of seeing me again (take delivery of Thailand tea).

Guys , BN is beautiful and sweet but unfortunately only marriage material. Sad , I will never f . . k her ? : )

She is a ‘Siren’ , whistfully calling me to give up my whoring ways and settle down.

Do you think I should ?

Not likely : )

Dispatch No.8.

Surprise , surprise a falang guy I had not seen for 18 years calls at my place of accommodation. He called in on the off chance that I was there. It’s the only time he has done that in 18yrs and I was there. That’s what ya’ call luck : )

Invited him to tag along with Saun and myself on the ‘Mandaue Manouvres’ , checking out dancing girl places. He agrees. Not a whoremonger , but someone who knew the Cebu scene in days of yore , before he married and settled down (sucker : )

So ‘C’ and ‘married man’ (we will call MM) , Saun and myself head off into the dark yonder in search of beautiful dancing girls. Arranged with taxi driver P200 per hour with a minimum of three hours. Saves catching separate taxis all the time. It’s great , as soon as you pop out of a joint your driver is there to greet you. Most convenient : ) and not expensive , especially when two guys are sharing (P100/U$2 per hour per person , Saun and self , for a taxi is cheap).

Mandaue City is quite some distance from Cebu City itself. By going to Mandaue you get away from the more conservative laws/regulations that have creeped into Cebu over the years. We went to Mandaue expecting to see GoGo/Dancing girls in total nude , as in days of yore.

First stop Harem Club , every taxi driver knows it (“Harem Club Mandaue Highway, Mandaue City”) As we pull up outside it looks reasonably impressive. Sign at front door says , P100 entrance , up the stairs we go. Young mama-san stops us half way and asks do we want to have a look at the girls ? Yeh , why not , she presses a buzzer and someone on the other side of a long narrow window pulls the cord and the curtain draws back revealing gals entering the room (aka ‘fish pond’). My , I was impressed , some lovely faces and bodies in amongst them. Best looking whores I’d seen on this trip. There were the occasional regular looking girls , but most of them were impressive.

Cebu

Feeling a bit sleepy : )

Laying on Thommo's trade mark candy striped bed sheets.

Those bed sheets have seen some spunk in their time : )

Mama explains P2500 for VIP room , unlimited time. You have to purchase 2500 of ‘consumables’drinks/food whatever to have the room. P2500 in all. Ladies drinks cost P290 (expensive for Cebu) Whatever you do with the girl inside the room is your business. No doubt you can grope the girls and get her to grope you , but if you f . . k her , it would be expensive , say P2000 ST at a guess , because Mama quoted P5000 to take the same girls out and away , all night. That’s about five times more than I like to pay. Pretty as they are , I don’t pay that sort of money UNLESS they are ‘girl next door’ types , and these gals have lost a certain amount of their naturalness as they are now established ‘pay for players’. No doubt there is the odd girl who will not f . . k in the VIP rooms and who will not go back with you to your Hotel. These girls are good looking , so no shame in taking one of them back to your Hotel : )

So , we move further up the stairs to the ‘dance hall’. Nice spacious place with respectable tables and chairs. Dancing stage with two poles. Girls enter one by one from above the dancing stage/hall , sliding down the pole. Yep , some good bodies with matching pretty faces amongst them. Some show the pussy totally , others are less revealing. They all take off their top off and gyrate around in the typical ’lazy’ fashion typical of dancing girls , whether Thailand/Philippines all the same … ‘lazy listless’ dancing : ) But because they have great bodies and faces and sexy gear on , some with Spanish lace wrap arounds etc and because you know they are going to take most , if not all of the gear off , it makes for good perving whilst you sip a P70+ beer.

You know , I have been ‘had’ (conned) so many times in these ‘native’ places years ago , that I insisted at Harem that I pay the entrance of P100 first. The waiter wanted to do it another way , let us drink etc for hours and present a chit/bill later. Not for me , the chit/bill is sometimes ‘loaded’ and there is no way your going to get them to change that ‘loaded’ chit. And if you get up tight , you will observe male staff or a heavy or two circling you , very soon afterwards. Spoils the night : )

So at my polite insistence we paid the entrance fee then and there , got our change then ordered drinks , got the drinks and paid for them then and there. He wanted us to sign the chit and pay later. No way Jose , I pay as I get the drinks = no ‘misunderstandings’. I gave the waiter a respectable tip , P14 on the first order. He appreciated the tip and understood ….. I am “firm but fair”.

So now we can sit back and relax , perv on the beautiful bodies knowing full well there will be no ‘misunderstandings’ later on : )

Yes , there are some nice bodies with matching nice faces at Club Harem lads , but for me , its only a perv place. I would not pay P290 for a Ladies Drink and would not pay all the other prices quoted. If a guy was young , never experienced anything like Harem before , I can understand him unloading a few thou at Harem and enjoying himself screwing one of the lovely Harem ladies.

In my opinion , your safe at Harem , by yourself no problem , so long as you do not get in a tangle with the chit/bill. Other mongers there were mostly educated cashed up middle class filipino lads flirting with whores. Also some Japanese tourists with their Jap girlfriends came in for a perv. I felt completely safe , both inside and outside the joint. Ideal spot for a Whorist AGM , get together/reunion. Mandaue seemed peaceful on the night we were there (Wed night).

In recent years I have only had quick peeps at Cebu’s GoGo scene , but those girls I saw at Harem are the best looking ones I’ve seen for a while. They are better quality than the Cebu City GoGo girls. Now , don’t go to Harem expecting to see Movie Stars , but if you think the girls at Harem are ‘ordinary’ then your in for a dull time in Cebu.

After 30/40 mins the scenario started to become routine/boring for me (seen similar hundreds of times before) and so I encouraged the lads with me to move on.

Next stop Sunrise Angel Bar , not far from Harem , on the opposite side of the road. Now this one is ‘real native’. Small , incl. small mickey mouse stage. Furnishings and stage would have cost no more than $500 : ) Harem was luxurious by comparison.

Angel Bar girls had a bit more fire , than the prettier Harem girls. Mama-san and girls more ‘perky’. Some times the good looking dancing girls at places like Harem have a ‘constipated’ expression on their face , not so at a little native dive like Sunrise. There are one or two more dives next to Sunrise too. Walk in one , walk out another.

No entrance fee at Sunrise , P55 for a beer. Think Ladies drinks were quoted as P260 , way overpriced for the calibre of girl on offer. These Sunrise gals would not be worth more than P75 per Ladies Drink , in my opinion. Mama-san was quoting sucker prices both for the LD’s and the take out fee. Mama wanted P3000 to take any one of her girls away for an all night session. For sure they would be worth no more than P1000 and it would not be hard to imagine them shagging for P500 ST (2/3hrs) either.

Pleasant enough place , with chirpy ‘average’ looking gals. I am quite sure the gals here would screw better than the Harem girls , who would already have an opinion of themselves as the best looking dancing girls in Cebu. No doubt there are just as good a looking babes elsewhere in Cebu but I wasn’t overly keen on checking any more GoGo places out. In fact ‘A’ told me about a good looker she introduced me to on a previous trip. She wasn’t in the whoring trade then , but now she is an expensive GRO at an upper level joint , I am told. It might have been embarrassing for her , if I walked in the front door of her place. For sure she was not a whore 3 years ago , but now she would be an expensive ladies drink gal , who you could arrange to meet during the day and bang her brains out. She was a very good looking babe Agent A procured for me via a bayut/trans-sexual (early 2002).

Next stop …. downtown Cebu City to contact C’s favourite down town native bar/dance place. Name : Scorpion , Sancgianko Street , near Sogo Hotel. No entrance fee , enter front door , walk past the little cubicles where guys are chatting up chicks , keep going straight past the mini ‘ballroom’ on your right. Keep going straight ahead all the way , and at end of the ‘path’ there is a sign over the door , think it read : “Cobra Bikini Bar”. Enter , nice intimate stage , not bad surroundings but girls we saw were rather ordinary , even less attractive than at Sunrise , but its late , about 1am and maybe the best girls have been bar fined and only the ‘dragons’ are left behind to keep the place going ?

If you had a ‘looker’ on Scorpions cute stage it would make for a worthy photo. But ‘C’ informs me , “mission impossible” for a foreigner to get permission to take photo’s. Don’t try it without permission , you will be in trouble with their ‘heavies’ if you do that. ‘C’ offered to backtrack another night with my camera and take shots. Will think about it. Reckon he would not be allowed to take shots of Harem girls though. People who run that place are more sophisticated and know such shots are likely to end up on the Internet = possible trouble for everyone with local authorities.

So , if your relatively new to the Philippine dancing scene , a peek at native dives is amusing. As I said before , better you do not walk around downtown Cebu City , repeat ‘downtown’ , after say 11pm on your own. Better to walk around there and also enter ‘dives’ with a Filipino guide. For sure downtown had better bodies in days of yore. Over the years, Filipinos are becoming more sophisticated , so the girls prefer to earn money in a more discreet way , eg , coming to the room in the company of a filipino (eg ‘A’) and banging in private. Its hard to get good lookers to dance publicly in a bikini , let alone in the nude. A place like Harem is the exception , not the rule nowadays. Those Harem girls earn relatively big money. This helps alleviate the ‘shame’ factor of dancing in nude/semi nude.

Following day :

Today “Brains” is supposed to call 10am with her first offerings. I will not be surprised if she comes late , comes with nothing , comes with a dead set whore or doesn’t come at all. Recruiting and training a contact/agent is a painful and frustrating exercise , believe me. That’s why I will always hang on to someone like ‘A’ , although on this trip she has been less than brilliant.

With luck , before I catch the plane home , ‘A’ will bring me someone very special who f . . . s . BN was special but she is not a fast f . . k , in my opinion. Bubbles was great to have around , but she has ‘family problems’ spinning around in her head , thus spoiling her bedroom performance.

Mousey and ‘Regular’ were good , so I might go to Sunflower Disco tonight and see if they are still there. Tonight is Thurs , ladies night and the Sexy Dancer competition , should be fun , so long as my ears are plugged (band noise : )

It’s the last two nights in the Phil before I go to Thailand. Looking forward to bangin those slutty eyed , but relatively frigid Thai babes. Frigid compared to Filipinas , anyway (personal opinion). Must admit , on this Phil tour , the closest I have got to a ‘hot rocket’ was ‘Regular’ (Mouseys mate). The ‘harvest’ so far has been less than brilliant : )

It’s 10.30am ‘Brains’is a no brainer , she has not arrived. I’m hungry , off to Kiwi.

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Only two days to go and its Thailand.

Better complete some Phil. website duties.

Took a taxi to Shoe Mart , Ayala , Sunflower Disco and Heart Health Massage (Sex Massage) and took photo’s of those places so folks can identify them easier. Will upload them to website on my return from overseas. Breakfast at Kiwi etc then back to my room around 12noon and siesta. Had a late night last night and a heavy night of drinking. Need to re charge the batteries.

Waking up from siesta I thought to myself “hey , you’re an idiot Thomas , you have this beautiful girl (beautiful outside and beautiful inside) BN , showing interest in you (Thailand tea) and your doing nothing about her.

Yes , its most unlikely that she will fuck this tour but hell , she is so young she is worth grooming for the future. This is the kind of girl I just love to fuck , a quality girl with a tight pussy who I can train to my specific requirements. There is nothing like getting an innocent girl and turning her into a whore … well a whore in bed , not a ‘for sale’ whore : ) , shades of Lovely Louella (story on website).

Main thing is I must not spoil BN too early , that is , must avoid spending significant sums of money on her. Let her know , a little bit of fondling/sex = a little bit of money. No fondling/no sex = no money. Its like training a puppy dog, a very cute puppy at that : ) If you reward the puppy , it will repeat the ‘trick’. Same with BN methinks.

So BN is not a good enough name for long term reporting of same. I can tell you her real name because I will never place her photo on the website. Thinking about her photo , I realise “hey I never got her photo back from the Kodak photo shop”. Ive taken a lot of photo’s , her shot was in the previous film , where is her photo ? Looks like the boys in the Kodak shop did not want me to have her photo ? Will look through the negatives/film and see what happened. Anyway , I will get more opportunities to photograph her cause I am now going to set about seducing her. Nowadays I do not get many opportunities to fuck beautiful non whore girls like Elena , so I have to be prepared to put in about a year of seducing , mostly via email I suppose , to eventually get her.

So, take note … BN is now “Elena”.

Have decided , I am going to seduce her , I am going to fuck her. Regardless of how long it takes. And also regardless of the fact that her Daddy is a truck driver and karate expert. Will allocate one year for the Elena project. One of many ‘projects’ , I hope : )

Of course I will bang ‘Bubbles’ type of girls whilst I am waiting for Elena to get organ-ised (‘itchy’ pussy)

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Good news re Danny.

Took photo’s of a baby ‘abandoned’ on the street opposite to where Danny sleeps. Came back the following day and gave the photo to the Mother , another street dweller. Asked her did she know anything about Danny on the opposite side of the street ?.

I was amazed , after about 18 years of more I got the true inside story about Danny from this clear headed street dweller I will call ‘Mummy’. She told me his real name (with-held) and the true story that Danny was an Architect who cracked (went insane in a sort of a way) when his wife left him for another man. He has a house , yes he has a house , and his grown daughters who are qualified nurses etc nowadays , come to the street from time to time and take him back home. Apparently he goes a bit funny in the head and leaves home for a few days/weeks at a time. Then loving daughter comes and collects him from his favourite spot/s. Bo’s Coffee Shop , Security etc know his true story also , respect him and feel sorrow for him and leave him alone. They did not kick him out of his favourite spot , as I imagined. So I can rest easy re Danny , he has a protector , his loving daughters. And most importantly he has a home , bought when he was a relatively wealthy and successful Architect.

It appears that he will not let his daughters wash him. That’s part of his madness , staying filthy. It’s typical of male street dwellers to stay filthy. It seems to be a mark of rebellion towards a society that ignores them ? It would be hard for them to access water , but not impossible. I think it’s a conscious decision on their part - rebellion.

Eighteen years ago I was told a similar story about Danny , only they said he was a mechanic , but no he is/was an Architect. The fact that he has a house and benefactors (daughter/s) takes a ‘weight’ off my mind : ) I can get back to whoring : )

Daughters must have seen the post cards , souvenirs , clothes and blanket I bought him over the years : )

Lesson to be learnt : don’t let any woman drive you mad : )

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By the way , if any of you guys are looking for ‘Hearts Health Services’ (sex massage) I can tell you now , I finally found their new location. Coming from Mango Ave (aka Maxillon Ave) , heading North about two hundred (?) metres up Gorordo Ave on your left hand side you will see a big sign : “Aerophone”. Well , directly opposite you will see a little shop with a plastic Hearts Health Services sign above the entrance. Have got photo’s of both places , and will upload on website when I return from overseas. Suggest you ask for ‘Aerophone’ (and not Hearts which is unknown by taxi drivers). Get to that spot , especially if heading North , and walk across the busy Gorordo Ave to Hearts . Its best to have an E-Z Map or something similar and have a look at Gorordo Ave in the privacy of your room , before you go outside and catch a taxi. Do not open up Maps in streets , only invites hustlers or misinformation from well meaning folks : )

PICS (2) ... Pic 1 : "Coming from Mango Ave (aka Gen. Maxillom Ave) , heading North about two hundred (?) metres up Gorordo Ave on your left hand side you will see a big sign : “Aerophone”. Pic 2 : ..................you will see a big sign : “Aerophone”. Well , directly opposite on the other side of the road , you will see a little shop with a "Hearts Health Services" sign above the entrance.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

Well , life is becoming more harmonious and happy. I do not have to bang heaps of girls to be happy. We can never satisfy the flesh anyway. I’ve had a great time here in Cebu yet I have not fucked a lot. Havent been able to write about everything I have experienced here , but let it be known ….. I have been enjoying myself , viz :

Found the Wholy Grail (via Agent C) , found beautiful Elena and someone to ‘love : ) , banged bright chirpy ‘sister’ type .. Bubbles , got sucked and fucked by the “Freelancers from Hell” …. Mousey and Regular. Lots of other miscellaneous fun since I have been here. Can’t report all of it : )

Wonderful happy harmonious time. Think its got something to do with the fact that my testosterone levels are lower nowadays = less frustration looking for my next naughty.

So don’t worry about ageing fella’s , it has its advantages.

So long as you’ve got money , you will always have ‘honey’, especially in the Philippines where old age can be an asset.

Dress smart , be a gentleman (respectful but not cringing) and don’t be too tight or too generous with your money. Take the middle path with spending. Stay patient with the ‘good’ ones , whilst banging the ‘bad’ ones on the side.

Dispatch.10. just around the corner : )

There should be twenty odd Dispatches in total , maybe a little more.

Dispatch No.9.

Starting with , second last night in Cebu before departure to Thailand.

Firstly to Junquerra 6.30pm to meet V and tell him tonight is the night for pics of ‘basketball’ area , where foreigners enter in taxis and pick up the girls. Want a shot of the girls hanging around etc. Told V 8pm at prearranged spot. Whilst there bumped into ‘W’ a guy I had last seen 30yrs ago. Give him a P100 Christmas present. As we leave taxi driver comments that ‘W’ looks like he is on drugs (shabu).

Then to Lighthouse Restaurant and the girls ask “where’s our pictures”. I tell them tomorrow film not yet finished. Decide to take photo of blind band. Step up close to them and shoot. The MC and front man with sunglasses who was looking straight ahead at the time swung swiftly towards direction of flash. Seems he has some sight , enough to pick up the flash. Will post pics of Lighthouse on website later on.

Back to meeting point just a little away from Junquerra. Can’t get too close to Junquerra or the pimps will swoop on me and never go away. V does not front. Possibly he thought drugged up W would follow him and thus cause trouble ?

To Monet Casa (whore house). As you know , I am not a whorehouse lad these days and did not check them out previous trip but decided to check out much talked about Monet. I thought it would be the cream of the cream , but alas only five regular girls in a small dingy room. I am embarrassed at what I have put on the website , gotta rip that out. Monet is dead , forget it. Mama-san said she’d call in the girls on the cellphone. Forget it , no way to run a business , including a whore house.

Ever cheerful taxi driver suggests Hanna Valley.3. at Banilad. Yep , known of that one for a long time too so went out there , entered Gate.3. and then ‘display’room. About 40 cheery well dressed and attractive girls soon filled the room. All of them full of smiles. None of the ‘sad’ looks ya get in Thailand Lady Houses/Massage Parlours. Definitely Filipinos have more life/fire , definitely.

Thought No.3 in black dress looked the best value. P3/4000 all inclusive all night. The very best of Hannah would be a little less pretty than the best of Club Harem but significantly cheaper , viz no P300 Ladies Drinks , no P5000 overnight charge. If you’re a casa (whorehouse) guy I can recommend Hannah at 9pm for a good selection of bright cheery attractive girls.

To keep things moving … as soon as the girls sat down I asked them to sing a Christmas song , they all broke out in ‘we wish you a merry christmas’ , myself waving the arms as if conducting a choir. Then I started singing “when will I see you again” (famous song in Phil) and they all joined in. Lots of girls laughing smiling , big papa-san was smiling and friendly too. Lovely vibes in Cebu City , even in a whore house : )

Before I left I said “We have a competition. The winner of the Miss Hannah Valley P100 prize is ……. (hesitation) ……..No.3.”. I clapped and all the losers clapped with me and laughed. No.3. was too shy to come forward and take the money , so papa-san pocketed it : ). I said “shy girls never win”. As I was exiting the casa/whore house , some babe behind me said “shy girls never win”.

Good vibes , happy place (should call it Happy Valley) ample selection of young casa (whore house) girls. Worth a peek fellah’s. Its located at Banilad , in a street (J. Panis Street) opposite Gaisano Country Mall , about a P60 taxi ride from Fuente Osmena , at a guess. I had been to Monet etc with the same driver , so not sure how much it costs to go only to Hannah Valley (peanuts , whatever it is : )

Have calling card details , but all you need is a taxi.

Back to room , type this out and its 10.40pm about time to go to ‘Noise Disco’ , real name … “Sunflower Disco”. By the way , taxi driver tells me Voodoo Disco at Crossroads is not Voodoo at all , its Udos , pronounced Oodoos (Voodoos , without the V). Its small and crowded with non whores , says the taxi driver. Maybe that’s why Elena recommended it , only for good girls ? He said Sunflower is the Hooker ‘flavour’ nowadays.

Not expecting or wanting a lot tonight. I am happy , had a great stay in Cebu even though I have only impregnated three girls in thirteen days.

Summarising Cebu , I’d say Sunflower Disco Thursday nights arrive 10.30pm for a good seat. Hannah Valley for casa girls. Club Harem Mandaue for good looking dancing girls. The rest are for curiosity value only. (About 50,000 of them : )

Tomorrow morning it’s the dog tag ‘foundry’ to pick up the Holy Grail of whoring , then after that , interview any last minute offerings from Agent ‘A’ , pack bags and get excess luggage to my long term ‘Secretary’ and keeper of excess baggage. Not much else to do.

I expect to be busy on arrival in Chiangmai , Thailand. Got a lot of website checking out to do in that town. Hope I do not have problems sending Dispatches at Thai Internet Cafes. Accessing the floppy with Dispatch on it was a ‘needle in the haystack’ job in Cebu initially. Couldn’t see any where to access floppy. Needed Café guy to instruct me. I could access easily in my home country via My Computer , but it was a little more complicated than that at the Cebu Internet Café.

Wonder how the Thais have organised it (their filing system and access to floppies). Don’t want those buggers reading my Dispatches , strong National pride in that neck of the woods lads. Fortunately English is not their strong point and so hopefully they are not interested when they see all the text on the floppy. There is more than one reason why I am using floppies and not discs. In Cebu needed to hand floppy to Café Supervisor who sent it across to computer I was using. He could read the contents whilst I was uploading it to auto mailing system. Don’t think he did , and don’t want Thais reading it either. They report ‘unsavoury’ foreigners to the authorities , that’s for sure. And my reports would convince them that I am ‘unsavoury’ , that’s if they took the time and effort to read my floppy copy that they have at their desk whilst I am copying and pasting to auto mail page , guru set up for me.

The perils of a sex reporter : )

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Yeh , well I started thinking of Thailand , somehow thought that Cebu City was history. But alas ……..

JACKPOT !

Yeh , man , ageing Thommo has hit the jackpot , where , when , how , and why ?

Sunflower Disco guys.

I was late in arriving , 11.45pm , my usual seat was taken up by bayuts/lady boys/katoeys. I was hanging around in front of the bar (standing up) for about 3 mins when I got a tap on the shoulder by the bar girl , directing me to a bar stool close to my favourite spot , but far enough away from the bayuts (trans-sexuals). Why would the bar girl go out of her way to do that ? Because I smile all the time and give her P20 tip every time she gives me a beer. You know the beer is P80 and I give a hundred , whats the point in picking up a P20 bill , when you know the gal is earning about 4-6,000 Pesos salary per month ? P20 is U$0.30 approx. (30c). “It’s not money” : )

So , have now got a good seat but hello , hello what have we got coming off dance floor , a haggard western lady and guess where she sits ? Right next to me. Shit , I do not travel from one side of the world to the other to talk to a 40+ western woman. Sorry my ‘sisters’ , don’t have time for that. Waited 3 yrs for this trip , no time , only time for little brown bombers : )

So , I am sitting there , my change arrives , I indicate with hand motion (plus usual cheesy smile) “you keep it” , to waitress , look up and see a hooker at the bar on the other side is looking at me , she likes my generosity (30c : ) and nods yes , which means , “I come and join you “ , I smile and look away , thinking , “hey , I have just arrived you look good , but maybe there is something better here ?” .

Ok one of the reasons I am here is cause of the ‘sexy dancer competition’. Guys , I usually do not share ‘inside information’ with you , but this time I will.

Keep reading , your going to learn something VERY important , IF your interested in good girls who are verging on bad girls. That is , non whores who are thinking of the idea of ‘selling it’ (pussy).

I wonder how many guys come to Cebu City and concentrate only on GoGo girls , casa girls and the like ?

Well , I can tell you , Sunflower Disco is the place to be , repeat , Sunflower Disco is the place to be………………..Thursday nights !

You remember last time I was there Thurs night I missed the superchick dancer (lost focus/concentration) , so this time I was determined not to make the same mistake again. Just before the competition started I relieved myself in the toilet (urinated , not whanked : ). No bayuts in the toilet this time.

Needed a new strategy to snare dancing girls so when I came back from the toilet I went to the other side of the Disco , opposite side to the Bar. Leaned against the pillar closest to the stage. All systems go , I’m facing the stage , ready to pounce !

Competition starts , no one special , then ‘lo and behold’ onto the stage steps this beautiful girl in a micro (very short) mini skirt , white belt , hanging low below her midriff (belly button) , looks sexy that way) , midriff (belly) showing , long black silky hair , nice face , tiny waist and great legs. She does her thing (dance) , quite sexy , quite good. I think to myself , Jesus ……………. she is ‘gods gift’ to man. She finishes her dance routine , steps back , other girls come forward an dance too. Then amongst the other ten dancers , ‘pinky’ comes forward and she looks the most ‘innocent’ and has a lovely round body , short hair , cute face. She is the one for me (pinky). Micro mini a close second.

So eventually they announce the winners , a gal from Japan (yep tourist) , a gal from France (African) and a girl from cebu but NOT extremely short ‘mini skirt’ and not ‘pinky’. Shit they have got it wrong methinks , and in retrospect its good they got it wrong , cause the guys in the audience will forget the loser girls very quickly , very good.

Ok , so my focus is disciplined this time and I am not taking my eyes off Pinky and Mini. Pinky sits down at a table not far from me , but she has a pinoy (guy) at the same table = security for her and the other two girls at the table , methinks. Miss Legs/Mini takes a seat at a table with another girl , over the other side not far from the bar where I was beforehand. Could not believe Miss Legs/Mini had no male companion , a looker like her without a companion , how come ?

So I am ‘lightning’ when it comes to grabbing the chick of my choice. I quickly walk right round to the other side , towards the bar , order beer at the bar and see Miss Mini’s table is not that far away at all. Fella’s. , it could not happen in the West , such an attractive young girl in a micro mini , gyrating about on a stage , coming off the stage , taking a seat and then being left on her own. (Tourism/whorism is down for one) I quickly realise there is a vacant table close to hers , and so I move to it. Getting closer , only two metres from her now : )

I sit down at table , but she does not see me or my eagerness. In fact , she goes onto the dance floor with her girlfriend , out of my view. I took that as “not interested’. But alas she and girlfriend soon return after only one dance. I am trying hard to catch her attention but to no avail. She goes to the toilet , I think some foreigner will snap her up , going to/fro the toilet , but alas , she makes it back to her table alone. I try again , including waving , even though I am only 2 metres from her. So I roll up some paper ‘napkins’and throw the napkin missile at her , missed the target by some margin. She did not see my attempt. Roll up 2/3 more napkins , wait until she looks in my direction then throw at her , hitting her gently on the arm. Motion her to come forward, she does ! , takes a seat at my table right next to me.

Girl friend then quickly joins us. Offer Juela (Miss Mini) drinks … , but she offers polite smiley .. ”no” (same as Mousey before in previous Dispatch). She says she has to go home in 30 mins time , 2am. I say lets go now , she nods yes. On the way out with the two of them she says “CR” (Toilet) , I wait. She exits the CR in jeans and said “dress too sexy for public/outside” she said , and she is right : ). There would be too much comment from the lads if she wore that micro mini outside.

As soon as I get in the taxi I get a bright idea , and tell girls we have to go back to my room , “I’ve got no money for taxi” (lie : ) Remember , these are good girls , her girl friend Helen has a job at a prestigious Department Store , Juela is among other things a genuine student with important end of year exams in four days time. So back to my accom and into my room we go. It transpires that Juela was convinced she’d win the dancing competition and get the much needed P3000 first prize. She needs if to pay for exams. Yes , in Philippines students have to pay their teacher (directly as far as I know) to sit for exams. The more money you give the teacher the better chance you have of passing your exams : ) And that’s no joke , it happens that way. Consequently students from wealthy families graduate as Doctors , when in another country they would not (watch out !).

I can see on Juela’s face she is almost cracking up , about to cry. She is so emotional about losing the dance comp and not having the money for exams (and most probably boarding room too) she is verging on crying right there in front of me. She said “I had to win the competition , I have exams on Monday”. Yeh , well I thought she was going to feature in the first three dancers at least. Her sexy micro mini skirt hanging only a fraction below pussy level , midriff showing , long silky hair , and sexy moves on stage should have got her into the first three places , methinks.

So , to an experienced Philphile , she’s telling me she needs money for the exams (and most probably other stuff too). A good girl does not normally wear that kind of gear on a stage and shake her ass , but she was desperate , and I repeat , desperate for some cash and being super optimistic and a gambler to boot (most Filipinos likewise) she thought she could glide in , compete in the dance comp and win it , first up ! Didn’t happen. There was an African French gal and a Japanese gal , both tourists on stage with her and Filipinos being the good hosts that they are , thought it appropriate to give those two guests in their country prizes , even though they did not have sexy gear on and couldn’t dance.

Fortunate for me that those two tourist gals got up on the stage that night. It meant Juela was even more desperate now. I gave Helen P100 and tell her to go down stairs and give to taxi driver as a deposit , tell him to wait , we will not be long.

Inadvertently Helen took that as a sign to make herself scarce. Apparently after giving driver the P100 she kindly decided to wait in the Lobby , not return to the room. I took this as a hint that she is giving Juela the opportunity to fuck for her College fees. So , I said to Juela , “Helen not return , I can help you with College fees”. She smiles I move up to her touch her here and there , no resistance , off with white lights , on with my personally installed red lamp. Situation is now obvious to all and sundry. We are fondling in a softly lit red room. Whoring , not school fees is now the agenda : )

Lock the door , so no one can barge in on us , lay her on the bed and then enjoy those lovely long legs and tight pussy for about 10/15 mins. Ever mindful of taxi driver and girl friend waiting for us , I thought a quick bang will do for first night.

She actually weeped , shed a tear or two , whilst I fucked her , don’t know if that was release from the stress she had been under , shame of fucking for her school fees or what , but I tell you her brief cry was a ‘turn on’. Sadistic pleasure , I suppose you would call it. For sure , once I start fucking a gal , I am not going to stop if I see a tear or two. For all I know they could be tears of joy ? : )

If she had tears before I started fucking her I would not have touched her , and given her P500 to help out. At the time I started fucking her she was ready willing and able. So , I’m not to blame.

Knowing both taxi driver and Helen are waiting outside , I gave Juela P1000 for her favours and said “here , pay exams”. She thanked me profusely. So relieved she had exam fees money. Took photo’s of her for remberance then made arrangements to meet her at Helens Dept Store 8pm that night. Thought I would have an all night session with her for P1000 , then she is getting closer to the P3000 she missed out on at the dance comp. She eagerly agreed to the rendezvous knowing , she would pick up more money.

So , it was an unbelievable situation. Here I was , an ageing monger , shafting this gorgeous young thing. Why the hell some other guy did not grab her when she came off the stage beats me. The only thing I can think of is , they were too slow. I was courting her within 2/3 mins of her leaving the stage , and I made sure we got the hell out of the Disco quickly when I made contact with her too , to avoid the possibility of a younger better looking guy zooming in on her. Possibly within 10 mins of her stepping off the stage I was towing her away from SF Disco. You could call it a ‘pre-emptive strike’ : )

Fella’s ya gotta go to Sunflower Thursday nights and see the sweet young things that get up on that stage , desperate to win P3000 , P2000 (2nd prize) , P1000 (3rd prize). I am sure there are other Cebu City girls in need of cash , who think of going to Sunflower too , to win fast money to solve their problems. And if they lose , there is always someone like Thommo there , to pounce on them : ) Don’t bother trying anyone who wins money , try the ‘looser lookers’.

I’d say 50/75% of the girls who get up on stage are non whores, and the Freelancers who do get up are good lookers (with the occasional exception). Gals who are not good looking do not get up on the stage , cause they know they have no chance , and look terrible amongst the other good looking contestants. Loss of face applies in the Philippines too : )

The regular girls patrolling SF Disco are not hard to get. The pretty ones who get up on the stage and dance their butts off for P3000 prize require a bit more effort. If your like me …. smiley , cheeky , quick , assertive , your in with a chance. You’ve gotta be cheeky , “fortune favours the brave” , applies. Be prepared for ‘rejection’ , it’s the price ya pay sometimes for being assertive/different. And make sure your not approaching a babe in the company of a male.

Later on the next the day I had to go to the Department Store and tell Helen to pass on a message to Juela I could not go out that night cause got an early flight the following morning (Cebu-Manila-Bangkok) and need to pack etc. True.

Juela will keep , she gave me Helens cell phone number the night before , Juela can not afford one. I will fuck Juela’s lovely long legs again , when I return from Thailand.

By the way , there is nothing much wrong with Helen either , other than she has a regular salary , which means she is not ‘hungry’ and as disorganised as her girlfriend. Juela. Who would leave it four days before exams to try and scramble up exam fees ? , Juela , that’s who. Anyway Juela is keen to tap into Sugar Daddy Thommo and Thommo is keen to continue tapping into her : ) Helen is keen too (‘hansum’ : ) but its no time to butterfly : )

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Americano’s in Danger :

The expression Americano covers all Western foreigners , not just Americans. Ageing Agent ‘B’ visited me , also ageing. Both of us almost past our ‘use by’date. Something in common : ) No doubt he called to get some Pesos off me before I go to Thailand. He said there had been a big happening at the Junquerra Brothels.

The following happened : Four Americano’s staying at the upmarket Cebu Mid Town Hotel brought eight under age girls to their Midtown rooms the night before. Eight under age girls entering Midtown would not have pleased the management. Next night the NBI , equivalent of the FBI (USA) , intercepted them in the Lobby ,flashed their ID and told them they had seen them taking under age girls into their room the previous night and informed them that such was a serious crime , carrying a life sentence.

The Americano’s were extremely lucky cause the FBI made them an offer they could not refuse. They told the offenders (Americano’s) , if they co-operated in setting up the Mama-san child trafficker , the FBI would not charge them with any offence/s re the previous night. Co-operation included travelling down in the offenders Hi Ace van as they did the night before , and ordering eight under age girls again. FBI guy was going to pose as a ‘Tourist Guide’ and hand over marked notes to mama-san. Offendors were then required to become government witnesses. Too good an offer to refuse , when looking down the barrel of a life sentence (Amercicano’s).

All this transpired , eight under age girls produced , then as soon as mama-san accepted the cash (P16,000) the FBI hand cuffed her. All parties including Americano’s then went down to the Police Station. Americano’s signed affidavits and mama was imprisoned.

Latest info from ‘B’ is , mama offered FBI guy P50,000 to forget about it , but not possible , cause Americano’s would be witness to the whole fiasco and the FBI were keen to cut out the supply line (mama). Mama applied for bail , which will be in the vicinity of P500,000 but ‘B’ said they will not grant her bail.

I said to ‘B’. Anyway , she would not have P500,000. ‘B’ said , “oh yes , she’s a very rich woman , been doing it for a long time , mansion in the province”. Yet she lives in a slum of a place called Junquerra.

Tell you what , those Americano pedophiles are incredibly lucky to escape what would have been a life sentence. They would never get away with anything like that in Thailand. They would be in prison , as Thais have a distinct innate dislike for foreigners (hidden by smiles , courteousness etc). Filipinos have a distinct liking for foreigners , hence sometimes they can escape punishment.

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A different subject now.

Punctuality is not a strong point of Filipinos. My 7.30am flight has now been delayed to 9.30am and my Manila flight to Bangkok has been delayed from 10.30am to 12.30pm and now just recently delayed to 2pm. Hence I am sitting at the Cebu Intl Airport typing this stuff out.

I’ve had an absolutely wonderful last 10 days stay in the Philippines. Harmonious , happy , fun time. Time to go to Thailand and miss out on all the good things I have been experiencing , so that when I come back to the Philippines I will appreciate it all over again.

Things started to swing in Cebu City. Thursday nights at Sunflower Disco is the highlight for me.

Hold tight , whilst I settle into Thailand and report the happenings there. Next Dispatch should be within 48 hrs , subject to no problems at Thai Internet Cafes , and the antiquated auto emailing system I have inherited from ‘guru’.

“Shoot the guru” is what I say. For sure , when I return home I’ll get the professionals to supply a reliable mailing system.

Dispatch No.10.

Cebu City , Philippines.

I arise at 5am to catch a 5.30am taxi to airport for 7.30am flight. Arrive at Airport 6am (no traffic) and you guessed it , flight delayed until 9.30am. Fortunately can plug into power and type on laptop. Flight leaves leaves 9.55am. Arrive Manila and you guessed it , my 10.30am flight which was put back to 12.30pm (couple of days ago) is now leaving 2pm God willing.

Arrive Bangkok and first thing I notice the well known and respected Thai Limousine service is no more/finished. Catch Shuttle Bus across to Domestic Airport and buy a return ticket to Chiangmai in the north , one of my favourite towns. But only one of my favoured towns , Chiangrai is my favourite.

At domestic airport sample my first Kloster Beer in 3 years , Baht100 for a small beer (one glass) , a little less than U$3. Not cheap , the equivalent is about U$0.75c in Philippines on average. The beer is a bit warm including the glass , but the mini skirted hot bod gal who served it to me looks nice , that helps : ) And then there is the ‘Internet Shop’ which is charging the equiv of U$2 per 15 mins/U$8 per hour. In the Philippines its U$0.40c equivalent per hour. Airports everywhere are a rip off : ) (High rents).

At book shop , see some ‘sexy’ books on sale , similar to the stuff I write , and so take note of names of publishers , most if not all based in Singapore. Might write a book one day : )

I enter the Thai Air plane and its 50% empty , what’s happened to Thai Air or Thai Tourism , it’s supposed to be the ‘high season’?

Arrive Chiangmai Airport and before bags are on the conveyor belt I step outside exit door and advance purchase my Airport Taxi ticket for Baht100.Return to conveyor belt and my bag is one of the first off the plane. Outside I wave ticket , lady takes it and calls out ‘Roon Ruang’ , with a really heavy roll of the “r’s”. So I mimmick her and call out ‘Roon Ruang’ , the drivers laugh , don’t know if the gal did cause I was whisked away by a muscle toned driver.

I ask him why Chiang Mai , Chiang Rai , why always the word ‘Chiang’ , what does it mean ? . He has a pretty good grasp of English and explains to me (first time in 26yrs I have sought the meaning of ‘Chiang’) that ‘chiang’ means ‘new’. Mai means city , so new city. Rai means river. He then goes into an entertaining and clear explanation of the first city in the north , then second (Chiang Rai) and then third , Chiang Mai. Tells me a bit about the king/s etc etc. Most entertaining lad. At first I thought he was fishing for a nice tip , but no , later on I thought he was just a naturally ‘gregarious’ guy. Something like a Filipino , an open book who likes to chat.

Arrived at Roon Ruang and find only one ground level room available. Prefer above ground , with a balcony (air flow and ‘view’). I take ground floor offering (no other choice). Got up 5am that day , and here it is at the end of my trip 9pm same day. Sixteen hours going nowhere , tired. Most of the time spent waiting at airports for delayed planes. In days of old I would have been staring at the Airport ceiling , thank God for ‘Dispatches’ and my laptop : ) As I have told you before , Philippine Airlines = PAL = Plane Always Late. Life in the tropics/slow lane.

PIC ... Chiangmai (Thailand). Budget Accommodation (Lady Friendly). "Roon Ruang".

Nice courtyard , simple , friendly service. See website notes for details.

Did plan to hit Illusion and Bubbles Disco’s but tired , not in the mood for loud music , so go for a walk down to Night Bazaar to buy a specific jacket I had bought on previous trip. Walked everywhere , jacket not to be found. Back to room and sleep. Wake up , type this out.

Shower , organise room so no petty theft by cleaner (highly unlikely) , send Dispatch then look for another better jacket I bought last trip at a big Dept Store. After that , website duties checking joints out during day and backtracking where necessary by night.

----

Before shower , I was looking through my notes written at airports , and I saw :

“Cant have same irreverent fun in Thailand. Thais like calm polite orderly behaviour. I have to leave my ‘cowboy’ behaviour behind (in Phil)”.

“Thais are very alert , attentive”.

“Too many ‘stiff controlled faces’. Give me the down to earth Filipinos any day”.

“Well , they are pretty (girls) , but they are controlled”. “Filipinos more of a loose cannon”.

“Your only supposed to look at a Thai gal once , not twice. They do not make eye contact with strangers. All this controlled behaviour …. Soos Maria”

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Don’t get me wrong , I am enjoying my return to Thailand , but it certainly is different : )

Go to Dept Store , no sign of that special jacket. In three years , a lot happens. Then to Sayuri Massage to confirm I have got correct directions on website. Bullseye , directions on our website 100% correct. Took photo’s to assist folks in locating and identifying same , incl. shot of front of Sayuri. Will upload on return.
After having rested from long flight am now ready to boogie. Sayuri early in evening , also Loi Kroh Beer Bars , then Illusion Disco and possibly Bubbles Disco (‘Bubbles’ of Phil’s where are you , help help : )

Gave my top shirt to Roon Ruang owner of the place for ironing old lady who speaks better English than me) and told her “no hurry , later on”. Within 5 mins shirt returned , ironed , and they would not accept any money. Seems like “money for nothing , chicks for free” … Thailand ? ( I certainly hope so : ).

Go to Post Office to post cards , woman there reckons she remembers me from three years ago. She tells me enough about myself to convince me she really does remember me. Amazing. Ge How (Guest House) Owner at Chiang Rai also remembers me and my name every time I call ,even though sometimes he hasn’t seen me for four years !

Getting in to the rhythm and language of Thailand. Tonight things start to happen : )

That evenings reconnoitres : 7.15pm ‘Sar Sik’ (CEC). CEC = Chiangmai Entertainment Centre , called ‘Sar Sik’ by tuk tuk drivers. If you say “Sar Sik , Beer Bar , Loi Kroh Road” , no problems in finding it. Baht 30 from Thapae Gate area , or 12/15 min walk. Twenty two nice bars , but it was a Sunday night , at 7.15pm and then again at 8.40pm it was empty , but Loi Kroh Beer Bars near corner of Kotchasan Rd had customers and were a little bit lively. Seems Loi Kroh more popular.

PIC... Chiangmai. "Sar Sik" (CEC .... Chiangmai Entertainment Centre). This is the Loi Kroh Road entrance. Nice place , but not much 'action' during my visits. Chiangmai (Thailand). Budget Accommodation (Lady Friendly). "Roon Ruang". Nice courtyard , simple , friendly service. See website notes for details.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

Chiangmai

Inside 'Sar Sik' (Chiangmai Entertainment Centre)

Mumma with pipe

Thoughts of bar fining her : )

Sayuri Entertainment Complex. I arrived 7.30pm only 35 gals and 15/20 hungry mongers in attendance. This place was a bit of a let down , heard only good things about it before , but on the night I visited it Sunday (MP) was a tad on the slack side. For Thailand , nothing special (massage). Quickly entered the Nightclub. They said I could only take one photo , no more. There were only three singers (gals) rotating , scrawny average looking gals and one ‘dog’ , so no photo’s taken. Perhaps Sunday no ‘stars’and/or later in night they pull the ‘stars’ out of the hat ? Myself , I doubt it , think its ‘ordinary’ all night. Got there by tuk tuk , but getting away was a problem. Sayuri folk called out “taxi , taxi” but I could not see any tuk tuk in sight. Presume they would have led me to a limousine for big bucks , so elected to walk back to Charoen Muang Road , especially cause I wanted to assess if its walkable from there (to avoid tuk tuk commission of Bt500). Yes , certainly walkable , 5 mins and safe , with a stop for a piss along the way (Filipino style , pissing in public …. “falang , falang” : )

Then to Pandora’s , further up Charoen Muang Rd towards Railway Station , a bit far for a walk. Coming from bridge heading towards Railway Station you will see a Shell Gasoline Station on your right , then on your left a cemented Soi , with a tall post at start listing tenants of that Soi. At top of post is a sign “Kalyokorn” , didn’t see Pandora mentioned. At end of that cement Soi you will see big Pandora sign. I entered and straight to fish bowl on right , it was empty , but soon filled up on my arrival (‘hansum’: ). Better looking girls here , or was it the beer kicking in ? : ) About 30/40 of them. I’d say 3/5 fuckables from my viewpoint , whereas at Sayuri not one fuckable (Sunday night , lookers off ?). Pandora’s No.7 had a nice ‘button face’ and pouty lips. For a two hundred Baht bribe took photo of the Bt1500 massage girls. When I pointed the camera to the girls their face screwed up , one even placing her hands over her face (unlikely in the Philippines) , so initially I did not take shot and returned to my couch where I was drinking a large bottle of beer at rip off prices. This Pandora papa-san is keen to make money any which way , but he hasn’t yet got the Bt200 for the pics : ) So , ever keen to get his hands on the Bt200 he takes camera and he shoots the gals , didn’t dare look to see what expressions girls had on their faces , and don’t know if he got all of them in the frame or not. Then I asked to talk to No.7 re ‘terms of engagement’ , she came out of the fish bowl whereby I got a chance to see her legs and body as she walked out of the bowl. Papa-san said “Bt2000”. I countered with Bt1500 , gal agreed and away we went for a ‘fiddle’ (massage) and a fuck. Cute face , in reality I was fucking the face , liked it so much. She was not enthusiastic about kissing my ageing unattractive dial (face). Such behaviour is not uncommon in Northern Thailand. Even so , I managed to ‘smooch’ on those pouty lips before she sucked me off. Lovely sight that cute button face and those lovely pouty lips on my cock. Lovely sight. Worth the money. Note - girls numbers are not always consistently the same. I don’t need a number with Buttons Face though , I would not forget her and her sexy lips. Lusting for her again , as I sit here typing this out. No doubt I will find her ‘carbon copy’ in the small towns further north and east of Chiangmai , minus the fancy clothes and high price of course. Only two days to go , Northern button faced babes here I cum.

Back to Roon Ruang , change into best clothes for the much talked about Illusion Disco. It had better be good : )

Eat (again) , and arrive 10pm at Illusion … it’s empty. Told by ‘hello girl’ … “come back 11pm “. Check supposed ‘Spicy’ pick up joint few short metres away same side …. its absolutely bare/empty. Reports say it’s a 1am to 5am joint. Quite unusual when there is 12 m/n closing at a lot of venues. Will call back another day.
Then to ………………. (name of place with-held to protect Thomas’ass) close to Spicy on Chaiyapum Rd , looks new , spacious and good. Order a beer , owner comes across and sits at my table. In effect he tells me he is soon to become part of Thai statistics …”another one bites the dust” statistics. I can tell you , this guy will be out of business within six months. Nice guy , nice place but he hasn’t a clue how to run a business in SE Asia. No control , he thinks he is being fiddled but is not sure. I told him a dead set way to control the biz (money) but he is too keen to get drunk every night and doesn’t really listen. No hope , no future. He will have to pack his bags and return to falang land from whence he came , penniless , that’s for sure.

Never give a sucker a chance they say , but he was such a nice guy (they are the ones who get rorted) I agreed to his attractive sexy waitress sitting at my table and buying her a ‘ladies drink’ , she opted for orange juice (wise gal). I did not get much change from Bt100 note , so didn’t bother picking it up from tray. She arrived with drink in hand , sat down at the table with us , and said “hello” , then within sixty seconds , she got up , left drink on table , and never returned. Presumably went looking for another ‘lady dink’ (lady drink). Quite a lot of them pronounce ‘drink’ ….. as ‘dink’ , they avoid the letter “r” at all cost : )

Could only happen in Thailand. That kind of behaviour , never happens to me in the Philippines.

End result , I will never call into that place again. Nice as he is , expat owner was behaving like a pimp. Before ladies ‘dink’ episode , he was saying how good she was and that I should fuck her etc. Then he introduced the ‘lady dink’ idea. Signs of desperation , when a ‘falang’ starts pushing lady dinks and pussy to a fellow ‘falang’ : )

It’s now 11pm and so I return to the illusory “Illusion”. It’s still dead. I immediately head for long established ‘Bubble’ ( no ‘s’) Disco at Porn Ping Tower Hotel. Tuk Tuk driver had a friend with him. I indicated , “no way Jose”, cause I was alone , no Saun with me at this particular time.

I suggest to you lads , do not get in a Tuk Tuk or any taxi with two guys in it. Could be the prelude to a mugging/robbery. But this is Chiangmai , I am partially drunk and so agree the other guy coming along (side seat at front). Tuk Tuk driver was not happy , presumably upset at my initial refusal of taking his buddy along too. Was tempted to inform him that its not good for his business to take another guy along , but what’s the use , I’m here for a bang and good time , not to lecture people on this or that.

11pm and Bubble Disco is already happening (at the same time , Illusion is dead)

Get a great ‘control tower’ seat. Lots of gay Thais , one tries to pour his beer into my glass , I indicate “no way Jose”. Other gays from time to time place their bottle on my table , “alright” they say. I indicate ‘alright’ without making eye contact (no encouragement). Eventually they all drift away (cold shoulder : ). One gay brings forward a hooker who was dancing at the level above me and I was showing interest in. But I was only interested in her fun style of dancing (doggying her girl friend .. ie banging her ass etc). Gay says “she like dink”, I indicate ‘no’. End of that gay and that gal : ).

Disco girls.

Too skinny.

It's a case of ... "next please" : )

Good shot Thommo , you've captured the atmosphere.

‘Bubble’ is an ok disco of medium size. Sufficient number of average looking hookers for any guy. Not one outstanding gal in the place though. In fact a ‘dog’ of a gal followed me into the toilets. Could have been a he/she for all I know. “Hansum man”.

Sometimes I feel like a ‘chick magnet’ , especially for the ugly ones : ) At a guess 75-85% of the girls at Bubble were hookers , and 10% of Thai males were gay. Question is , where are the ‘looker’ babes going , not Bubble Disco on a Sunday night , that’s for sure. SF Disco back in the Philippines leaves ‘Bubble’ for dead.

Lost track of time , headed home empty handed after 1am. Saun took a Beer Bar girl from Loi Kroh Road. Good value Bt1000 all night.

Forgot to mention , earlier on in the night when dashing around , I came across a ‘good vibes’ relaxed , nice Tuk Tuk driver. Told him to front up 8pm next night and we would reconnoitre the entire nightlife scene. Will hire him by the hour and dart all about the place , all night long. Got “Chiangmai Land” (upmarket native scene) , Santitam (Sleaze native brothels) , Las Vegas (Sleaze GoGo) and ‘Spicy’ , pick up joint ? (after 1am) on my ‘shopping list’. Should be a fun night , IF I go the distance. Drinking beer for 16 days and nights in a row is starting to take its toll : ) Hope Saun can join me , but fear my ‘pace’ is a bit much for him : ) We meet during the day and swap notes , but for night manoeuvres Saun sometimes goes solo at his own pace. He does not like darting here and there like I do.

The above text is about five pages long on my laptop , so think will park pen here and devote next dispatch to what should be the most exciting Chiangmai reconnoitre of them all , and my last night in Chiangmai. Following day its Chiangrai by bus. No planes flying Mai to Rai nowadays … strange ? ! What’s happened to Thailand tourism ? , something , but I am not sure what.

Will whorism replace tourism ?

Not likely : )

Dispatch .12. and the ‘sleaze review’ will be on its way soon.

………. Lance Corporal Thommo (soon to be demoted , for ‘underwhelming performances’ : )

Dispatch No.11.

NEWS FLASH : As you know by now , Tsunami wipes out many people in Patong (Phuket) etc. Fortunately I am way up North far from the sea.

This tragedy reminds us that life can be fickle. One must enjoy whilst we can , we never know when the hand of the Reaper will tap us on the shoulder.

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So back to my report , Northern Thailand :

To Arcade Bus Terminal to advance purchase a VIP bus ticket to Chiangrai. Tuk Tuk driver , practising English on me , me practising Thai on him. Green air con VIP bus Bt216 one way. No planes to Rai , no alternative. Have ridden motorbike to Chiangrai before but Saun isn’t up to it , so we go by bus.

As arranged TukTuk driver arrives 8pm the following night. Think we will call him TT.

First stop Las Vegas to confirm whether or not GoGo , but ladies outside eating , not yet ready. They don’t look too good , I take off.

Next stop Santitham sleaze mini brothels. First one enter , four only girls , surprise surprise , one is most fuckable. I enquire with Mama-san and she says “your hotel 30 mins , 800 Baht”. Get a life , get stuffed. Asked her how much to photograph the pretty one. Answer “ no can take picture”. Outside ask her name of place , answer “no name”. Note a number above door , think it was 869. With TT , go up to corner , alight and enter 7/11 and ask young and pretty owner , name of street (whore house is in). She supplies ever so politely and smiley. This gal can speak English and has looks : ) Footnote : next day think TT took me into wrong Soi , will have to backtrack and enter Soi Santitham itself next time (Details on location will be uploaded onto website on return from overseas 1st Feb).

Next stop Loi Kroh Road Beer Bar scene.

I choose ‘Stairway to Heaven’ cute little bunnies sitting out front and they have my favourite , Kloster Beer. Mama-san not happy , not friendly , I move on to CEC (Chiangmai Entertainment Centre) around 9pm and its still ‘dead’. Dantes has only 3 girls , no customers , and no inferno (no fire , no life). Others similar , some a little popular , overall , nice bars , but ‘dead’.

Have a beer , write notes and then move on to Chiangmai Land. Objective … Bossy Disco and research the expensive Karaoke’s.

Bossy Disco dead (10pm too early) , and the Thai guys out front don’t seem too happy with my presence. They seem to be thinking , “this is Chiangmai Land” not “Falang land” , do not encroach on our territory ? : ) Walk up and down CM Land street and bump into a Karaoke with nice chicks in mini skirts sitting out the front. Name of place : “Comodo” (half way down left side as you first enter Chiangmai Land Road).

Decided to enter and ‘rent’ one of the girls , Bt100 for 30mins. Do so , cause the gal of my choice is very good looking , full of personality , can speak a fair bit of English and is a 20 yr old student by day. She’s also wearing the shortest mini dress in Chiangmai , and with beautiful legs , that helps : ) Her biggest attraction is her femininity. She is very feminine , the most feminine gal I have come across in my trip so far. Of course , she is a ‘drinks lady’ . Her job is to extract as many LD’s (Ladies Drinks) as pos from customers , which in turn pays for her education.

I was surprised that within 5 mins she gave me unasked , her cell phone number and was keen to ascertain what hotel I was staying at. From the way she did this I thought she was thinking of paying me a visit the next day , cause she was a tad saddened when I told her I am going to Chiangrai the next day. “What time bus go” , she said. Thoughts of squeezing in a quick fuck and thus more buck ($) before I leave ? Not sure if she wanted to visit just for visitings sake or wanted me to short time (bang) her and thus contribute to her education ? Mama-san knew that she gave me the cellphone number . Seems to be some flexibility at this Karaoke. Perhaps they come and go as they like ? Certainly do not have ‘whore’ written all over their face , or demeanour. In the Philippines Management is more strict with the girls , no cellphone numbers , no meetings outside the establishment. Phil girls ask you what Hotel you are staying at to estimate your budget and thus the price they should quote and to assess whether your hotel is LON (whore) friendly or not. This Thai gal had none of that in her head , she just wanted to make contact with me outside the Karaoke , it seemed.

I fall in love with this charming attractive girl. Tell her I have a little gift for her and will go back to the hotel , pick it up and return within 30 mins. Go to my accom picked up an extra special souvenir gift (cost $5 but would have a $50 impact methinks) and returned to her Karaoke to present it to her. I’m in love (again). Lust or love ?

Now , Phil gals … Bubbles , Juella , Elena .. seem light years away … my mind is firmly fixed on Miss Fem(inity : )

Surprise , surprise , when I return to Comodo Karaoke 30 mins later , Miss Fem (‘F’) is already upstairs out of sight and in the company of someone else. Out of 8/10 girls he picked the same one as me. He must know a thing or two : ) The old saying , when on a good thing , stick to it : ) Miss F is now downgraded from 9 out of 10 to 7 … cause she is a butterfly : )

So I took another girl , ‘G’ , sim to F in body and face , but doesn’t have quite the personality or education , incl. grasp on English language. After 30 mins , and dropping Bt550 (yep you got it right) I split promising to return tomorrow (will cancel bus trip to Chiangrai) for Miss Fem.

Will return next day to see the love of my life and Miss Personality … ‘F’ all over again. She seemed genuinely enthusiastic about me , perhaps she sees a potential ‘Sugar Daddy’ in the offing ? Someone to sponsor her education ? Or was it my striking good looks (?) Anyway , she is keen , very good looking (legs , tiny waist , button face , personality) and the best Thai babe I have spoken to so far , so she deserves a second ‘serve’/visit , methinks.

The thing that intrigued me , she was so early and eager in giving me her cellphone , that I think she wants to ‘boogie’ (or go ‘shopping’ ? : ) away from Mama-san , who’s name is “Ead” (name on calling card). Anyway , Miss Fem made sure I could contact her away from the expensive Karaoke. Dropped about Bt300 on Miss F in the 30 mins I was with her. Dropped Bt550 on the second one , ‘G’ , total Bt850 so not a cheap experience : )

Next stop … Loi Kroh Road Beer Bars and I see Stairway to Heaven is now jumpin’. Wasn’t anyone there that didn’t have a man and that I particularly liked , so then checked out Spicy … dead/empty , so drink at next door “…………..” (name with held , critical comment before in previous dispatch) until 2am , and could see Spicy remained ‘dead’. Supposed to be a 1am - 5am hangout , but didn’t look like happening , not one single babe and only three guys in the place at 2am. There is the possibility that it only rages on Friday/Saturday nights ?

PIC... Loi Kroh Beer Bars. Straight ahead (see bikes parked on left) is Loi Kroh Road. To left and out of screen about four bars , then down Kroh itself on left side about ten or more bars. On right side , about four more bars incl. Stairway to Heaven.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

Mousey type , Loi Kroh Road.

Two weeks into her career

as a Beer Bar girl.

and looking apprehensive about it too : )

Returned home to my ‘Ge How’ (Guest House) , booked TT again for the next night. Will take a Scotsman I met at …………. (name with held , same place) along with me , he seems interested in my story about the Karaoke. Saun spent most of his night at Loi Kroh Beer Bar scene and brought home an ‘average’ looking babe. I’ve had enough average looking babes to do me a life time , I want quality from this point on and am willing to pay for it , eg Miss Fem. Less chicks but better chicks …. way to go !

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Programme for tonight : Night Bazaar , purchase day bag. Internet Cafe. Meet ‘Scot’ and TT driver at True Blue Restaurant 8pm , first stop Miss Fem at Comodo Karaoke , then Sayuri (give it a second chance) , then Santitham to clarify I did not miss places the night before.

Met the ‘Scot’ , and TT driver arrives at True Blue on time. First stop , Comodo Karaoke and my sweetheart. Pull up out front and all the girls are sitting there in their cute short dresses. I look vague and call out ‘tee rhuk kong phom tee ny’ ? Which means ‘where is my sweetheart’. Miss Fem jumps up enthusiastically and with a big cheesy smile waves to me , indicating , “I’m here , I’m here”

The three of us enter , the Scot does not want any girl (careful with his money : ) , we sit down with Miss Fem in between the both of us. Her dress slips way up to almost pussy level. She caresses me with those ever so gentle and dainty hands of hers , smile on the dial 24/7. For some reason she starts speaking exclusively in Thai language. Must have impressed her with the way I pronounced ‘tee rhuk kong phom , tee ny’ ? : ) She is reminded by my inept replies in Thai that I do not have a strong grasp of her language. We come to a communication block , can’t talk much about anything , going round and round in circles trying to think of something to say in Thai or broken English to avoid silence.

She is so sweet , it’s a pity I have never come to grips with the Thai language. Been visiting the country since 1978 and still cant speak much Thai , shame eternal shame Thomas. Reason I don’t speak much Thai ? For sex , I am prejudiced towards the Philippines and the Phil gals. Usually spend more time in Phil’s. Thailand impresses me with its cleanliness , calmness and charm , better food and accommodation but deep down I do not believe Thais like foreigners. They put on a lovely ‘performance’for us , and I enjoy it , eg Miss Fem , but deep in my heart I think it is only a performance. Their ‘performing’ behaviour is based on Buddhism and its major dictate …. “no confrontation”. If you do not want confontration , what do you you ? You smile , your courteous and your charming : )

Well , if Miss Fem is for real , she is very special. The acid test was when we hopped in the Tuk Tuk and went up the street about 10 mtrs turned around , and passed Miss Fem’s Karaoke , now on the other side of the road one min. later. I looked across as we passed. Not a single girl looked our way , including Miss Fem.

As far as they are concerned (incl. ‘F’) we do not exist any more , no need to ‘perform’ : ) Maybe I am a bit too heavy on the pour souls (Thais) , but I tell you , if that was the Philippines the gal would still be focused on me and wave goodbye.

It seems in Thailand that the ‘buyer’ , us Falangs , has to put some effort into securing a whore , whereas in the Phil the seller (girls) understand they have to put in some effort to secure the ‘buyer’ , falang (foreigner).

The next stop proved that point. Admittedly there was total communication breakdown at the next venue which didn’t help. TT (driver) dropped us at a place in Kamphadeng Road. Never been there before , didn’t know of its existence. Before stepping inside TT said “some do not like falang”. A little warning to tread warily inside. Something I did not think too much about at the time.

We entered , but it was basically ‘shit’ from start to finish , with more shit at the finish. The place was quite big and well furnished , there were about 25/30 girls all dressed in black with the odd ‘looker’. These girls were somewhere between a Loi Kroh Beer Bar girl and a Comodo Karaoke girl. Not high class , not regular class , somewhere in the middle.

Well there were misunderstandings right from the start , as not one word of English was spoken in this joint. First a girl selects me , tells me which lounge chair to sit on etc. I don’t like that , I am the buyer I select what girl and what chair to sit on , anyway to get things going smoothly I go with the flow sit down with the girl where she wants us to sit . ‘Scot’ was also pre-selected by a girl. We had no choice in the matter. Ordered a large beer , price ok. Could see this girl sitting next to me was a waste of time , so I got up and had a prowl around to see what else is on offer. Couple of cuties sighted. Return to my chair and my female companion has got and unhappy and possibly even angry look on her face. I offer to placate her with a Ladies Drink , but it seems , with my limited Thai language skills there are no Ladies Drinks in this place , so can’t help her there. Ask “tau rie , chua cow” (how much short time) she tells me Bt1500 in my hotel , no shagging on the Kamphadeng premises. Wouldn’t have a clue how long for , maybe only 30 mins or 1 hour ? Not cheap , especially when the merchandise that was sitting next to me was Loi Kroh Beer Bar level of chick , that is , rather ordinary. I did not comment on the 1500 cause gal is not happy.

Because of her constipated unhappy look I take control of the situation and ask another girl to come and sit next to me , this she does , but at precisely that same moment , yet another girl (nothing to do with us) appears from nowhere and is very angry , waving her finger at me and going off her head about something (my behaviour presumably , “how dare I select another girl” : ). I could see that the situation could get nasty very quickly , there was no way of explaining my way out of the situation , so in my usual ‘lightning’ mode , I stood up , abandoned my beer and left the place , Scot (falang companion) in tow.

I did not speak one word to any of the girls , cause there is an old saying , “it takes two to have an argument” . I can tell you fella’s if you respond in a nasty/aggressive fashion , you can quickly find yourself being beaten up by a mob of Thais. We were two falangs in amongst about twenty or so Thai guys , numbers stacked against us. On reflection , that’s what I think these girls wanted. They wanted me to argue , ignite the Thai boys and see me beaten up. But I deflated their plan by exiting within a second of the other girl waving her finger at me.

Outside in the tuk tuk , I looked back and there is a security guy coming out of the door , our eyes meet , he pauses then goes back inside. Could have been nasty.

PIC... Our Tuk Tuk driver who originally warned us : "Some dont like foreigner". He was a big Thai , little bit comforting in our situation , although I think if anything happened he would not have been able to do much. We would have been overwhelmed with numbers , that's for sure. "Falang falang , whack , whack" : )

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

And why did this happen ? I arrived with good intentions , but because of a total communication breakdown where a very ordinary whore was rejected (when I called the other girl forward) , things got out of hand. Language barrier , plus a genuine dislike of foreigners by that girl , caused the commotion , methinks.

After all , me Thomas , very “hansum man” : ) Miss Fem , Superchick at Comodo Karaoke was most impressed with my presence but this moll at Kamphadeng Rd was upset that she could not call the shots.

She was was dictatorial , mercenary and underwhelmed by my presence : ) Sorry babe , you will not dictate to me , didn’t you know , I am the buyer ! : )

Heaven forbid any guy who marries anyone like Miss Ordinary. He will have a hell of a time.

So , next day :

Sayuri , more girls than Sunday , yeh more fuckable girls at Sayuri , No.31 stood out , great face when hair hanging long and in front. When she puts hair back behind ears doesn’t have the same effect. About 5/6 fuckable babes there. No.59 mad , talking to herself all the time , cause no one taking her ? , sitting there for 6 hrs and no takers ? . After 30 mins or more , give her souvenir broach via papa san and then she calms down.

Then a Farang comes out from the Massage rooms and sits down next to me … , and says : “Ive done my duty for my country”.

Tried Nightclub section of Sayuri again , but its crap , anyone who says its good hasn’t seen anything. Karaoke girls good looking (at entrance) but don’t speak to falangs and would be expensive.

Back to Pandora and its shit , very few girls and not one single ‘looker’.

CEC : Cheerleaders had one looker and a katoey behind the bar. Dantes still lacking an inferno. Some others seem to have katoeys in employ. Beware katoeys at CEC.

Santitham : tried Santitham Street but drew a blank.

Dropped Scot off at ……… (name with held). Nice Illusion 12.40pm dead , Spicy dead.

Home 1am , off to Chiangrai 12.30pm that same day .

To Chiangrai : VIP bus spacious comfortable leaves on the dot , not so Philippines : )
No one puts seat belts on , I do cause of high accident rate in Thailand , incl buses , but we are not on a bottom feeder bus we are on a bus for the wealthy , relatively high priced tickets at Bt216 versus other Bt40 buses. Therefore better driver ?

Thirty mins after leaving Mai my mind wanders back to Miss Feminity , ‘F’ , and decide on return to get her to my room and bang her brains out. I’ve romanced her enough . The 7 day break in Chiangrai will enhance the romance and she should be ripe for picking on return.

She gave me the cellphone number for a reason , to fuck her , so that’s what I will do. If I do fuck her she will be the cutest one of my tour , a real cute ‘button faced’ babe. Don’t think she is up to slut level and sucking falangs cocks yet , but I will give it a try. She’s keen on me as a person and not an ATM (am I right ? : ) , maybe she will surprise me and offer ‘full service’ ? : )

Dreams are made of this. In the meantime , Chiangrai manoeuvres coming up.

Tourism is definitely down, yet its high season : SARS , Chicken Flu , Slaughter of Muslims in the South , restricted nightlife hours , terrorist fears , all of these must be taking its toll. Then Tidal Wave just now.

And before the Tsinumu Thailand was just not buzzing. Now it will buzz even less. The Prime Minister is in his second year of the ‘clean up campaign’ and he is doing too good a good job of it.

Philippines would have to be benefiting from his campaign … plus almost 50% more for your U$ , eager beavers (gals) , and not the same restrictive hours as in Thailand. Forget the filth and decay of the Phil , focus on the people , they are great , incl. the girls : )

So, arrived Rai (Chiang Rai) 3.15pm , took about 2.45hrs of safe driving , no stops along the way. 7.30pm I am at the gate of the infamous but popular ‘Wat Whore House’ (my nickname for it) , 7th house down on right hand side (I say sixth on website) , little wooden Buddha house/box out front appropriately lit with a tiny red light.

I call out over the high sliding steel gate. Old guy comes out , slides gate open only wide enough for him to stand there and block the way of anyone wanting to enter. He speaks onlyThai , tells me Bt1000 Short Time Bt2000 long time , in my Hotel not on premises. But worst part was he wanted to know would I take a girl for sure before seeing anything. He did not seem prepared to show me the girls , if indeed he had any. He didn’t budge , he wanted to sell me a girl right there sight unseen (once again Thais trying to control/dictate). To tell you the truth the joint had all the hallmarks of a non event. Suspect the governments clean up campaign had spread its tentacles as far as Chiangrai. At most I’d say he had 2/3 girls , possibly nil and was going to call one in. Not my scene , I want choice and I don’t want to be dictated to re who I fuck. Wat Whore House is a victim of the governments clean up campaign , it seems.

Moved on to the even more infamous Sinambin Road brothel area in a Samlor (bicycle taxi). Tell driver ‘Sinambin Rd’ , he says , “Hotel” ? I say no , “Lady House” , he says , ‘you know lady house’ ? I say yes and off we go. Get there and not one lady house , not one. All decimated by clean up campaign. A couple of native singalong joints , that is all.

Holy hell , Chiangrai has gone from about 60/100 native whore houses (1980’s just before big Aids scare) to not one single whore house (2004). With this sort of thing going on , Thailand is doomed as a sex destination.

To the Night Bazaar and a native style open air restaurant/bar I have had minor success in days of yore. Find it has been removed and modern brick shops have taken its place. Thomas , things are looking bleak : )

Then I cop a bad cold , sore throat , sneezing , coughing , blowing my nose all the time. Must have caught it on one of the three planes I took to get to Chiangmai. Add to that , its unusually cold in Rai right now , only about 7 hours of warmth during the day , the rest cool or bloody cold. Cold winds coming in from wintry northern hemisphere , methinks.

Try and make contact with a contact I first met three years ago. Left message with his co-worker to call at my Ge How (Guest House) 4pm , alternatively my favourite Restaurant (R) at 5pm. He calls at neither. Once again it seems , as in Thailand , I am supposed to ‘chase’ , no way Jose , I have pride too you know. Agent ‘T’ , we will call him , misses out on the gift I had for him , cost me all of U$2 , but its unique and know he would have liked it. Waste , will give it to a Filipino , or even maybe Karaoke ‘F’ in Chiangmai. She’d look even more cute with a cap on : )

That does it , I am out of Rai , head straight to bus terminal and purchase VIP bus ticket for 1.15pm tomorrow. Two nights in cold sex decimated Rai is enough. Tonight in Rai I will check out new Karaoke at Wiang Inn Hotel and the supposed GoGo’s in the lane off Yetyod Road. Not optimistic about either. Think , cause I’ve got a cold and I am expected to service cute ‘F’ in Chiangmai , it will be early to bed tonight in an attempt to get fit for some nice sessions with her in Chiangmai.

Hope ‘F’ (aka , ‘Cute Karaoke’) can nurse me back to health with some nice blow jobs (unlikely , but I am hopeful : )

Dispatch .13. and Chiangmai (Mai) manoeuvres soon.

Forget Chiangrai , it’s history. I’ve got some work to do when I get home updating the antiquated info I have on the website re Rai.

Soos Maria !

To keep everything in perspective , there are a lot of people in Phuket etc (Tsinumu) with a lot more problems than me.

I am enjoying the ambience , sweetness of Thai folk but not enjoying pussy , can’t have it all : )

Dispatch No.12.

Flash News :

Southern Thailand.

With the Tourist/Whorist Phuket death toll now rising into the thousands , it is possible that some of our whorist.com readers perished in the Phuket tragedy.

Saun and I were in Phuket three years ago , but were not impressed with the ‘tourist’ feel of the town and so decided not to revisit it on this trip (2004).

You can be sure that a significant number of surviving gals and guys will transfer from the vulnerable West Coast (Phuket) to the safer Pattaya on the East Coast.

----

Back to happenings in Northern Thailand :

It’s a merry go round when it involves Thomas and a merry go round it was tonight in Chiang Rai.

Back tracked to favourite Restaurant , ‘R’ , after T (potential Agent) had disappointed me earlier on in the night. When I arrived , there is a message for me to call ‘T’. Apparently he had been out all day with tourists (tour guide) and couldn’t make it. So I phoned him , he says he will be around in 2mins. Twenty mins later he is at the Restaurant. I circle the problem (chicks) then hit it on the head and say “Yeh , leaving Chiangrai , no more Lady House , problem”. His reply was magic , as follows :

He said : “There is no problem I can not fix” , and mind you this is in English !

Is this Thailand or is it the Philippines , I am thinking ? : )

That’s the kind of switched on answer I’d expect from a Filipino , not a Thai

And then he explained he had some University students on offer. Well , the time before (three years ago) it was unwanted High School kids , now University Students , so its getting better. Around age 20 - 22yrs of age. Great , my favourite age bracket.

Without prompting or whatever , he said : “I make mistake before when you are here , now I control”. Is he a psychic or what ? Has he been reading my emails ? Great , he admits he brought the wrong ‘merchandise’ before (3 yrs ago) and did not control it , now he is going to bring something a little more mature , including more mature body. Twenty two year old girls have a more mature body than teeny high school kids , that’s for sure , and 20/22 yr olds are not kids , and they are legal !

What a classic : “There is no problem I can not fix’. You guessed it , bus ticket to Chiangmai cancelled : )

I explain to him that to do freelance tour guide business in 2004 without email address (when he can speak , write and read in English) is crazy. He agrees. I take him up to Internet Café and establish and email account for him with a short sexy and most important , appropriate email address. His email address is spot on for what he is doing and it is a very easy to remember address. A boon to his business potential as a tourist guide , methinks.

He is happy. I promise to teach him how to receive and send email 7pm the next night.

We split , I am happy , finally got the potential of an Agent in Chiangrai. Wow ! I love this town , but without sex , sorry can not stay. Now sex , and with University/College students , whacka doo Chiangrai could become a nice little love nest indeed !

I head to Wiang Inn Hotel Karaoke for website research , girls there very ordinary. Then to mini GoGo scene (location website). First one called “The Bar” . My normal technique is to peep in door (not enter) , if I do not like , I quickly turn around and exit premises. So I peep in behind the curtain door at this Bar and like what I see , a full bodied babe in white bra , white panties with a sexy ultra mini , laced , see thru sari. Great , looks sexy , and she can dance. Baht 80 small beer. Perved on her for a while , assessed the scene , eight Thais and myself in attendance. Second dancing girl gets on stage she is energetic reasonable looking , incl. body , but a bit short (has extremely high platform shoes which look ridiculous on a short girl). First girl whom I liked , sits with Thai customer. I make sure not to look at them too often. Behave myself . I’m in Thai territory , not Falang territory : )

PIC... Chiangrai Clock Tower , aka , 'Little Ben' : ). Small sister to Big Ben. Maybe I will move whorist hq to Chiangrai one day. If that happens Little Ben (minus red and white drums/scaffolding) will be our flag bearer : )

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

Then move on to GoGo two doors up , same side. The one immediately next door seems closed down (showing pussy ? : ). Two doors up and name is ‘Snake’. Gal there is new to GoGo and too shy to look at customers (?), preferring to face mirror at back of stage. Not the most encouraging sight , the back of a person all the time. Towards end she gets courage to turn around and actually make eye contact with me. At first I think we had a good one , but then when the light shone directly on her and that’s when I saw the face of a ‘whore’ (what else in a GoGo : ) So , in retrospect , I think she was more likely to be a slack whore than a new girl.

After one small beer (beer legk) out of there and to “Lobo , boys , boys , boys” , on opposite side of tiny lane/soi. Peep in behind curtain , and yep you guessed it , ‘boys boys boys’ (gay).

Then to neighbouring “Lobo GoGo”, just a little further up and adjoining the ‘boys boys boys’ bar. No mention of boys on the sign and it turns out the best of an ordinary bunch of GoGo’s. One girl in particular seemed to have great potential , but alas she was with a Thai customer. Noticed her looking at me. Unusual , if they are sitting with one guy , they do not normally look at other guys. She might have observed me giving waitress Baht20 tip for a 80Baht beer. That’s considered generous in this neck of the woods (Rai). If she saw that , she might have thought , mmm generous with beer tip , might be generous with sex tip ? : )

The only other foreigner sitting at a table on the other side , came and sat with me , had a chat. He tells me he likes ‘trekking tour’ and asks me what doI like……”fucking tour” was my reply. His face lit up , he liked that.

Foreigner/falang then departs cause he has a trek the next day. I stay , cause I do not have a fuck the next day : ) Then I realise Lobo GoGo are closing down , yet its only 11.45pm , and cute gal is going with a Thai guy.

So , things are looking up , at the last minute things have turned around. Potential with Agent ‘T’ , then a little ‘forbidden’ GoGo scene. A place I can go to when things are quiet. Maybe Chiangrai rocks yet ?

PIC... Chiangrai's 'GoGo' Scene. First pic : Coming from the Clock Tower and walking down Yetyod Rd turn first left and past Lobo Restaurant/Bar in pic (left side). Second pic : At end of Restaurant lane you turn left and have two 'GoGo' Bars on your right. Dancing in undies , no strip and no Bar Fines. Third pic : On left hand side is gay 'Lobo Bar boys boys boys'. Further down on same side is 'Lobo Bar' , girls girls girls. Titillation , Ladies Drinks places only.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

So next day , T was to call 7pm at Internet Café for lessons on how to receive and send emails. He did not front. I went to Ayes Restaurant , a new place for me. Its absolutely great. Kind of food I like , plus Beer Sodt (Draught Beer) , plus tables right on the footpatch (Spider and Fly). I observe ‘T’ passing by , on his way to old favourite of mine ‘R’ Restaurant. I call out to him , he comes in sits down , apologises for this/that. I try and get him to Internet Café but he stuffs around. On exiting the Restaurant he once again slips his arm inside mine. What the hell , I told him two times before that I am not gay etc , quickly untangle myself. Don’t think T enjoyed that (loss of face in front of others who were walking the street).

You know this T is bloody useless. His brain is scrambled. Add to that it is the high season and he is busy tour guiding falangs. He informs me that starting tomorrow he’ll be away on a tour for three days. What’s the use of this guy ? Apparently August September he has no customers and thus no cash flow. Maybe that is the time to test him out ? But he is too frustrating to deal with , very late and totally dis-organised , plus he could be gay. I don’t want Chiangrai residents thinking I am gay !

Decide to put him in the fridge/freezer for a while. Three years ago I tried him but he only delivered teenies , which I promptly rejected. I like ‘fresh green grass’ , but I do not like ‘kids’. This trip , he has only delivered me ‘frustration’. If I try him out again on another trip , it would have to be off season when he has got the time and no tour guide cash flow. One has to always focus on the ‘hungry’/needy : ) No good of spending your time with people who have money : ) But is T worth spending time on ?

I sit at sidewalk Internet Café , drink tea (good for sore throat) and ponder what the hell I am to do … fight or flight ? Think its flight : )

Start to walk towards home/ge how (guest house) , along Phaholythin Road (main tourist drag) and when I was just about to turn the corner into Pemavit Street where the trad massage places are , a Samlor (bicycle taxi) driver leans forward and whispers in my ear …”want Akha Lady”.

Now , for a split second it did not register , I kept walking , then it hit me … “Akha Lady” , hey these are the babes I used to hear about in 1980’s when Rai was at its whoring best. Reputedly less inhibited than regular Thai Babes. They are actually Thai illegal immigrants/border crossers with few if any vocational opportunities.

But I was feeling down , despondent re ‘T’ ; closure of native brothels ; heavy cold etc and just wanted to go home (guest house) and rest up for ‘Cute Karaoke’ in Chiangmai the following day.

As I slowly walked away from samlor driver , I realised there must be a secret whoring scene in Rai and this guy knows it. Even so , I was down/despondent , kept walking away from him and decided to return to the same corner around the same time the next night and see if “Akha Lady” was whispered in my ear again , if so we are off on a samlor whore tour to check these ‘native’ babes out.

Today I arise , to confirm street name of GoGo lane , photocopy passport , cause I am going to hire a motorbike and ya have to surrender passport to hire them.

With motorbike I am going to hike out to a nifty ‘garden’ restaurant about 3km from city centre. Three years ago T introduced me to this place. Best looking waitresses in town and earning Baht50 a night plus share of tips. Surely these girls are open to a bribe or two , for a poke (f…k) or two ?

Will check them out around 8pm , then to ‘Akha Lady’ pimp. Let him show me Akha house via his Samlor (potential commission for him) then backtrack on motorbike , thus avoiding commission (more than daily hire rate of motorbike).

Forget ‘T’ for the time being , he is only holding be back.

Take the initiative … way to go.

----

It’s now , the next day , the day of ‘atonement’ , the day of … ‘get it or forget it’ (Chiangrai).

There is a lot hanging on ‘Akha Lady’ and that unique Restaurant full of cute waitresses earning Baht50 per day. And yet , for a desperado like me , there is always the local Disco (long shot) cause its Sat night and it should be hot.

Some thoughts I wrote down at Ayes Restaurant this morning :

The Thai Gals Commandment

Thou shalt not make eye contact (especially with ageing mongers like Thomas : )

Thou shalt not show emotions , either in public or private (hard core bangkok/pattaya ladies excepted)

Thou shalt smile , be courteous and well mannered at all times

The Phil Gals Commandment

Thou shalt make eye contact and check all foreigners out , regardless of colour , creed , physical disposition or age (Thomas and Saun included)

Thou shalt show interest/liveliness both in public and private , most especially in private (bed)

Thou shalt smile , be courteous and reasonably well mannered but not ‘over the top’ as in Thailand.

My cold is receding , good I can get on with my ‘mission’ … seek and destroy : ).

I now have a motorbike from ST motorcycle rent shop (info on website). This will be important for the out of the way Restaurant (will ascertain its name tonight) and for backtracking on Akha Lady. Have no intention of inflating ‘Akha’ price 50% or more with Samlor commission/s , will see Akha via Samlor (bicycle taxi) and backtrack if Lady House/s suitable for my requirements. Will not ask price in front of Samlor driver , cause mamaj-san might feel loss of face to drop below that inflated (Samlor) price if I return minus Samlor. Will just have a look , and if like will backtrack and say to mama “my mee samlor” (no have samlor) “phom dee oh” (only me). The absence of Samlor and a little Thai language should help to get a good price and relax the ‘frightened’ Akha babe of my choice. I want her to be apprehensive but not really scared : )

Only thing that disturbs me , some Western Women have just moved in next to my Ge How (Guest House) room. Great , I am can stir them up by bringing home an ‘Akha Lady’. I can already hear them saying , ‘exploitation , slavery’ : )

Nothing is going to stop me fulfilling my mission … “seek and destroy” , even if the ‘kills’ are not as high as they used to be (when I was fully testosterone loaded/younger).

---

First I ate at Ayes Restaurant , best in town.

Then on motorcycle to find garden restaurant just out of town full of pretty waitresses earning Baht50 per day. Thought my usually good visual memory (no street names etc) from my experience three years would be good enough , but no , I spent about 45 mins going in and out of side streets but could not locate that garden restaurant. Damn.

Back to Ayes Restaurant , park and lock bike in main street (Pahohylothing Rd) , then walk down to that same corner of previous night and try for ‘Akha lady’ but alas , no samlor driver there. Walking back from whence I came I found one old ‘n wise samlor rider sitting by himself . I sneak up to him and whispered ‘Akha Lady k’n loo tee ny’ ? = Akha Lady you know where ?. He smiles a cagey wisened smile and nods yes. I hop on , he pedals off in the direction of Sinambin road , passes Wat Whore House turn off and keeps heading towards Sinambin then up Sinambin Road itself , later turning left into a little dirt lane that my previous samlor rider (young guy) had stopped at. The old guy starts pedalling down dirt lane , and then a woman comes scurrying towards us from main road , calling out “no , no falang” in Thai language. So I say “my chawp falang” (not like falang). Samlor rider calmly pedals away. As Mama-san had rejected us in a non Thai and rude way , I said calmly to her , with a Thai smile (pay back : ) and in a language she would have no hope of understanding (English) … “and when your men come to my country they can not fuck our women either“ : )

Obviously nowadays the governments ‘clean up’ campaign means falangs fucking Thai women (outside of designated areas in Bangkok etc) is too high profile and thus to be avoided. Local Mayor must think so anyway.

Chiangrai

Sinambin Road

New development in this former Lady House street is this Garland singalong place. Something like a Karaoke with only assigned 'staff' singers normally singing.

You buy garlands for your favourite singer (potential f . . k : )

Thai language skills mostly needed plus maybe two visits before you can make an after hours rendezvous with the singer of your choice.

This gals legs are 'approved' : )

So samlor then takes me to the only functional whore house in town , “Baht700 short time” he says , and you guessed it …. Wat Whore House , the same one I tried before with no success. Outside the big gate he rings the bicycle bell with gusto (big commission : ) , three well dressed men open the sliding steel gate and invite me in. Enter the lady house , girls scattered everywhere , some eating. He points to five seasoned babes , indicating they are the ones for me (falang). Once again Thais trying to decide for me. The other ten or so were told to watch tv and thus turn their backs on me. This happened the instant I stepped inside the door and so I never did get to see their faces etc. I asked him to get the ten girls to turn around. He said “already booked”. Speaking in Thai , I said maybe I want one of them tomorrow night , he said “already booked” , in other words not for ‘falang’. He feels he can not rent them to his Thai customers if they have been boinked by unclean ‘falangs’. Damages his business. This was not the attitude three years before (one year before clean up campaign) when I scored a very nice one at same Whore House. Post ‘clean up’ campaign , Thailand is different. Nothing stays the same , things only get worse : ) One has to be flexible and imaginative to survive (Agents/Contacts).

The old samlor rider was a real character and entertained me to Sinambin Rd and back. He confirmed there are no more whore houses in Chiangrai. And the two he showed me do not want to do biz with ‘falang’. The good old days of 60/100 whore houses and everyone opening their arms (and legs) to falang have gone forever.

Chiangrai .. "Akha Lady" ? .. Says the Samlor rider.

On return from Samlor tour , walk across to Wiang Inn Hotel. Checked Karaoke before , this time decided to check Massage Parlour. Well there were 15/20 babes 3/5 very pretty and certainly fuckable , but I rarely fuck Massage ‘icebergs’. I’d fuck more Massage babes if they moved around a bit. Reckon they should put on a fake fashion parade , eg girls in underwear etc , get the bodies moving , then customers like me would get excited and want to bang em. When they are sitting like stiffs in a lounge chair , gazing at a tv screen , it’s a real put off for me , no matter how pretty they are. Baht1600 for 90 mins , and one gal is a stunner , was tempted. No pressure from papa-san. I exit , got more ‘research’ to do , on what looks like my last night in Chiangrai.

Hop on my motorbike and check out Inn Come Hotel Disco , called ‘Par Club’. Very few motorbikes parked in front , so check next door Karaoke named something like ‘Kumkhong’ Karaoke , fifteen/twenty gals parked outside , some 5/7 good lookers among them , not a ‘dog’ in the line up. Entered Karaoke , nice set up , beer only Bt90 but gals drinks and time fee would be heavy , but not as heavy as Chiangmai I suspect. Waste of time taking one of the girls , cause none of them would speak a word of English. It would be a struggle with my limited Thai to make headway with any one of them.

Then to “Lobo GoGo” , where I sighted a cutie night before. Saun hates this darting here and there and so tells me he is going to stop at Ayes Restaurant , have a few draught beers (‘beer sodt’) and then go home early.

The cute girl from the night before greets me outside Lobo and ushers me through the curtained door. As soon as I enter , what do I see …. BULLSEYE … a lovely creature on the stage gyrating about. Slutty eyes , high cheek bones , lovely soft hair hanging in front of face almost covering eyes , big cheesy grin , “body to bang”. What more could Thomas want ? …. Nothing , she beats anything I came across in the Philippines and is an equal to Cute Karaoke of Chiangmai , but a different beast altogether. Cute K is cute full stop. This Lobo babe , whom we will call “Mongolian Maid” has got ‘animal/sexy’ written all over her. She does not look like a whore , she looks like ‘fresh green grass’ and full of sex energy ready to unload.

Bullseye , found the Holy Grail of Whoring … in Chiangrai … d’ “Mongolian Maid” (MM).

Two other girls surround me , one almost blocking my view of MM. I lean to my right to get the message to the girls , “I can not see dancing girl” (Mongolian Maid). These two girls are chatting to me all the time (exclusively in Thai language) , one on my right is a bright little spark but too short/small for my purposes. MM has a body to die for , and an even better face. I stare at MM non stop to get message across to the two girls , “I am gob struck with that babe on the dance floor”.

Then gal on my right asks will I buy her a drink. I indicated that I will buy a drink for the babe on the mini dance stage. Both girls split immediately and one of them tells dancer … “falang wants to buy you a drink”. She stops dancing immediately , puts on her clothes , heads towards me with a big natural , repeat natural , smile. Her smile was coming from within , it was no fake smile. The way she wobbled towards me tells me this babes full of curves , including a generous sized ass (but alas no tits , cant have it all : ).

She behaved so humbly towards me , and at same time showed sincere appreciation for the ladies drink (rice money) that I bought her. The way she behaved , you’d think she’d won the lottery. Her appreciation of the LD and appreciation of my presence was overwhelming. I thought to myself , “what have I done , I’ve only bought one ladies drink , yet she is over the moon”. For her , it must have been a long time between drinks : )

These girls obviously do not earn much and appreciate a no bullshit punter like me who puts the cash down as soon as he enters. I know a ‘bullseye’ when I see one and thus do not waste time getting down to business , buying LD’s etc. I am very slow and apathetic with regular gals , but very fast with ‘irregular’ (good looking) gals.

MM (Mongolian Maid) does not speak one single word , repeat not one single word of English. She looks like to me an Akha babe from the hilltribes , who has just came to town recently to try luck. Full of provincial charm and smiles, and an eager beaver to boot. Problem is she does not speak any English at all (neither does anyone else on the premises , not one person , no English speaking mama-san either) And another problem is , I fear these girls only earn money selling drinks and dancing , they are not bar fine girls ? , not sure.

Sweet MM tries hard to communicate with me but as time ticks by its getting harder and harder for the both of us to keep smiling. I ask her in Thai can she come with me , she asks where I stay , I tell her , but she does not know that joint , never heard of it , yet its one of the first Ge How’s in Rai. She’s a new girl in town , doesn’t know much about Chiangrai it seems.

OK ; so its best for me to withdraw , regroup and launch a fresh ‘attack’ another day. I slip Baht 100 cigarello (money rolled up like a cig) into her hands and tell her in Thai language “I shall return 8pm tomorrow night”. She got excited with the Bt100 , reckon she’d go crazy if she slept with me and I gave her one thou (1000). Should have met this girl a week ago , plane for Phil leaving in seven days time , got commitments in Phil I have to keep.

Question is , how do I communicate with Mongolian Maid , next time I call at Lobo GoGo ?

Actually need Agent ‘T’ to come along with me , then everything would be sweet , but he is away touring with falangs and will not return for two more days.

I exit Lobo , MM ecstatic that she has met someone like me (“hansum man” : ) By the way , she sat on the Ladies Drink , didn’t not toss it down and ask for another one. That is , not ‘commercial’. Mamasan , if there is one , will have words with her about that , I am sure : )

Off to Par Club Disco at Inn Come Hotel , its 12.05am and the joint is jumpin. Get an excellent spider and fly seat , elevated above dance floor , where the gals who arrive at the disco have to pass me , and the gals going to toilets pass me also. Amazed at the number of eye contacts and smiles from the babes. Must be the alcohol kicking in (them ) ? : )

Just finished a battle with Mongolian Maid re language , so did not encourage any babe to join me or whatever. Had a good time ‘observing’ plus music and sound system was good. One gal in particular must have gone to the toilet six or more times ,every time grinning and staring at me. She loves falangs , she might even be a LON having a night off ? Body a little too slim for me though : )

2am came , place closed down and that grinning babe tried the last time to hook me. Whilst leaving with her girlfriend , she grinned and grinned , never taking her eyes off me even when she passed me , she kept looking back grinning all the time right up to when she went out of view outside the disco itself. Too proud (Thais) to step up to me and say something. You chase them , they don’t chase you. 100% for sure I could have had her , but I was already in love with MM plus ‘grinner’ was a bit scrawny/skinny for my likes. MM has nice cheeks (ass) , grinner has no ass at all !

Quality is what I am after , not quantity.

Maybe ‘grinner’ had an advantage over MM and could speak English ? , but I really didn’t come to Thailand to speak English , I came to fuck. Priorities lads , priorities.

Note - there are a number of eateries/bars in Par Disco street (Rajbamrung Road). Garden Restaurant (not its name) on right hand side , just past Ruenthip Hotel , has ‘potential’ (waitresses).

So now it’s the following day and I am nursing a mild hangover.

Ask owner of my Ge How (Guest House) to write down my name , and name of Ge How , its location , and my room number , in Thai Language. Then MM might be tempted to call , cause she asked me if I had a cell phone the other night , cause she showed me she had one , and frustrated me had to reply ‘no’. She wanted to call me next day (daylight saving nookie ?)

Also got Ge How owner to write down : “Virgin” in English then Virgin in Thai language , cause I have a flashing disco brooch I want to give to MM and she will want to know what the English word ‘virgin’ means. Not listed in any of my dictionaries (no virgins in Thailand ? ). So he did that , explained what ‘virgin’ meant in Thai language , for the girl. Along the way he also said “she not virgin” (having not met her , ie , he is saying , “no virgins in Thailand” : )

Next weaponry I am calling on tonight : A Thai English Dictionary . One written in Thai with English equivalent next to it. Going to bring my small English Thai Dictionary , point at English word , she reads Thai equivalent next to that entry. Then she finds Thai word in the other dictionary and I look at English word next to it = communication of sorts. Better than nothing at all.

However , my main strategy is to get message across to her quickly and clearly to come to my room at a specific time. Have already organised that in Thai language. Had it all the time (my hand written dictionary) just couldn’t find it in darkened GoGo room night before (behaviour un-becoming a professional/elder whorist statesman : ) Let myself down there , but even so great believer in letting the cookie take its time to pop out of the oven (shyness). If you push a novice girl like MM too fast she will interpret that ya think she is just another whore , and she aint. Interviewed a few thou whores in my time , know the ‘real deal’ when I see it (non whore , whore : ) and MM is the real deal.

So the ‘assault’ has been carefully planned. All I need to do is ‘execute’. Will arrive at Lobo ‘bearing gifts’ , small souvenir items. That should help seduce her : )

That ass , I want that ass : )

Onward Christian Soldiers ………..

The more ‘buddhist’ we are whilst in Thailand , the more success , believe me.

So , now I kneel down in my room and pray as follows : “MM please do not let me down , I want to perv on your beautiful face a few more days. I want to lift your generous ass up in the air , slip my prick in your slot (vagina) and fuck ya doggy style ”

Aside from her magic face , her ass is going to be a sight to behold. She’s got good cheeks (face) and she is going to have good cheeks on her ass too. My x ray vision tell me so : )

She will let me take photos of her , I know (very agreeable girl) . Will be tempted to upload her ass (pic) onto whorist.com site , when we return from sojourn : ) I’ll need a pic of her ass (and face) for memories sake anyway.

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Thomas getting ahead of himself again … let’s see what actually happens , stay tuned , dispatch number fourteen any time soon.

……………. Lance Corporal T , soon to be reprimanded for not learning enough Thai language : )

Dispatch No.13.

Flash News :

Whorist.com Monger survives Tsinumu.

“LON (Lady of the Night) saves Matty B , a contributor to whorist.com , from the Tsunami in Phuket.

Before the waves struck Matty B spots a cutie , bar fines her , takes her up to the 3rd floor of his beachside Hotel then trouble , tsinumu wipes out folks at ground level.

Matty B owes LON a super tip . and she owes Matty B a super f . . k . They saved each others lives”.

Back to Northern Thailand Manouvres :

“The day of judgement has arrived. Mongolian Maid (MM) had better indicate sex is on the Menu or I am outta here (Chiangrai).

Not a lot happened during the day , then came 7.45pm , 15 mins before I was to meet MM. I was cold sober and disinterested in going back to MM to struggle with ‘language’/communication all over again. Nothing else for me to do , don’t think tonight at the Disco would be particularly ‘flash’ and anyway , I had two hours of it the night before. Whore Houses are out , so too Spider and Fly Night Bazaar , Chiang Inn Massage Parlour had some beauties but unless they can bring some life into those places I am not willing to unload ($) , exception , Pandora’s Chiangmai , where pouty lips enticed me to unload/dump.

So , I decide a couple of beers might get me into the swing of things , and they did. Back to Lobo GoGo and Mongolian Maid. This time communication better and of course I was prepared this time , with Thai note indicating where I stay , plus I re-freshed my memory on how to say , “come back to my place” in Thai. It was simple to learn , don’t know how I forgot it. Rusty on explaining ‘hours’ though , so pointed at hour/s in Dictionary. Very dark , pointed at 1am by mistake , next to it is Thai . She looked , shooked her head and hands saying “my , my” (no , no) , can not do. I look at dictionary and realise pointed at wrong (right ?) one. She then pointed at 1pm ‘bpy mohng’. So , she’s calling at 1pm in the afternoon. That’s ok , better than nothing , but the way she reacted to my suggestion of 1am was not good. She was telling me , in effect , “oh no , I can not come to your room after I finish work tonight 1am”. This means “I can not fuck with you” it seems. Anyway , I have no choice , its during the day , 1pm (daylight saving) to get my stick in that ass (pussy actually , but ass facing me).

As time goes by she is coming across as a good girl , who only earns income dancing and extracting drinks from suckers (like me ? : ). And she is not very good at extracting Ladies Drinks either , too shy. The suckers would have to be Thai , cause Mongolian Maid and the other gals do not speak English. Fella’s do not go to Lobo or any of the other two GoGo’s in that area expecting nudity or bar fines. You will find neither.

By the way , just before leaving , I sat out front of Lobo whilst Maid went and got a snack. Whilst she was away I asked one of the girls if Maid was ‘Akha’ (she had all the signs of being one) and the answer was yes. Great , I have got a potential ‘bonfire’ , hot one.

One thing for sure , at least I will get Mongolian Maid into my room , that’s a good start. Provided she calls. Wouldn’t be too surprised if she does not call. Looks like she might be a drinks only lady. No hokey pokey , only for her Thai boy friend , if she has one.

Maybe she can’t call 1am cause her Thai boy friend comes to collect her after work ?
Anything and everything is possible. She could be a katoey : ) (joking).

Anyway , the Spider trap has been set for the Fly (Mongolian Maid). She is starting to get tangled up in my web of deceit/bullshit … modus operandi (and myself tangled up at the same time ? : ) Once she gets into my room (web) we’ll see if she can untangle herself ?

Early to bed that night , not too much beer , up 7am next morning , final clothes washing for Thailand methinks (unless ‘Maid’ convinces me to stay longer) , send Dispatch , eat , shower , wait for ‘Maid’. Bang her brains , then pack some gear , go to Bus Station and catch a bus before dark to Mae Sai on the Burmese border. Gotta assess this Northern area of Thailand properly whilst here. Don’t know right now if its worth returning to this part of the world for a while. Depends on ‘Maid’ and Agent ‘T’, who is returning from his Tour today. Where are the University students T promised me ?

So , it’s 1pm sharp , I hear a motorcyc (motorcycle) outside , girls voices , look out window and Mongolian Maid (Maid) has arrived on a motorcyc with girlfriend. Not by herself.

They come up to my room. Girlfriend is fellow worker at Lobo whom I vaguely remember as a ‘dinks girl’. That is , always asking me to buy her a drink , but me never doing so. Girlfriend (GF) seems to be an experienced pay for play gal and understands my communications better. Think she has been brought along to assess the situation and advise Mongolian Maid on how to go about things (extract as much money as possible , whilst giving as little in return ? : ). Anyway , I make sure ‘Maid’ and her Advisor (GF) get the message that I am getting frisky and so start touching , caressing and massaging Maid just about everywhere. No resistance from Maid , only cheesy grins. Beautiful soft skin , round body. I’d love to enter her soft body right now , but patience Thommo , patience.

The girls say they are hungry. Most probably finished work 1am , got up showered and came to my place. I give them Bt200 to go and eat , then come back. Prefer not to join them. Find inability to communicate too frustrating.

They return within 40mins , this time on bicycles (push bikes) , one bike each. It was cute , seeing my babe pedal the bike towards my room , cute. This time I take photo’s inside the room , no problem , Maid is agreeable to everything , pics , fondling and to returning tomorrow by herself. She hesitated somewhat before agreeing , cause she knows by my actions today , the heat will be turned up next time she calls. Now she is in the oven , and she is starting to feel the heat. Body , face and innocent attitude to die for. I’d say I am going to shoot my load within 10 seconds when/if I ever get to enter her. Cheesy grin all the time. Nice ass , gave her ass a couple of slaps and told her she had a ‘good one’ (dee mahk) , she grinned with appreciation.

So , I bundle them off , cause all I can really do now with MM is fuck her. I can’t talk to her , love to fuck her , so fuck her I will.

Told her I’m not going to Lobo tonight cause of noise etc. Whats the use , I cant fuck her at Lobo’s , cant communicate (too noisy) , might as well not go there at all. Gotta set the precedent of not going to her , and her coming to me (my room). My ‘Maid Modus operandi’ is improving : )

Gave her Bt200 to replace the money she would have earned from ladies drinks , if I was at Lobo. Cheesy grin again. Now , if she wants cash flow , she has to come to my room , no cash flow via me at Lobo anymore.

This girl is like jelly , so agreeable and relaxed. There is no tension in her body. Its going to be a pleasure entering her. Think she understands to call tomorrow by herself . If she brings a companion again , then might have to downgrade her , hop on the bus and fuck “Karaoke Cute” in Chiangmai. But I reckon I’d get more pleasure in entering Mongolian Maids body. She is more ‘innocent’ : )

You remember Marylin Monroe ?. She had special appeal cause she had a ‘vulnerable’ look about her. ‘Maid’ has the same vulnerable appeal and feel about her. Brings out the carnal desires in a man. Her eyes and body language says … “you can have anything you want”. But , she needs time to cross that line and have her first (?) fling with a falang. If she is as good as I imagine her to be , I might even delay my return to the Philippines.

Tonight , I will go to Wiang Inn Massage , order some beer and perv on the beauties there. After a couple of bottles , will most probably select a stunner and fuck her brains out. Been a while since Ive had a fuck. Don’t know any other place in Chiangrai where I can get a quick , no hassles fuck. No Freelance scene in Rai , whore houses gone , beer bars dormant with only one or two girls in each , Karaoke difficult to get non English speaking gal to room , Disco really only fires Frid and Sat nights , and so it goes. Chiangrai Massage gal is the only viable option right now.

Mongolian Maid might take a while yet. Whilst waiting , better fuck somebody else , it will help me wait for Maid. Dying to see that lovely ass of hers poking up in the air. (“rear guard action” : )

So the evening arrives. I hire a bicycle (push bike) this time. Owner of bicycle shop tells me she graduated in Business Administration at a College not far from my house , back home. Small world : )

PIC... Chiangrai. Thommo's mode of transport (push bike) , d' "Silver Stallion". Used for night manouvres. No light , no helmet , no sense : ) School girls collecting for charity , pose behind my bike. Note pillion seat at back of bike. Handy if I scored at a Disco , wherever : ). Actually saw a young Falang , pedalling along , honey sitting on back pillion (padded) seat. Saves hiring a motorbike. Obviously an 'extreme budget banger'. She wouldn't be too hopeful of a tip , methinks : )

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

She only has ladies bikes in my price range , so ‘katoey’ (lady boy) it is , I fork out the exhorbitant Baht50 per day rental (U$1.20) and am on my way pedalling down busy Pahohylthon Road , no lights , no helmet … Thai style. First stop Ayes Restaurant for great food and ‘beer sodt’ (draught beer). Then to Wiang Inn Hotel and their Massage Parlour. Passing by their Karaoke , I still see still nothing special. Nothing to compare with Inn Come Hotel and their Karaoke Cuties.

Enter Massage , small number only on display. Small number of punters too. One table of four Thais and then myself only. Girls excited at my presence , they are saying to themselves “aah here is a punter with money , Thai guys only come here to perv”. Only beer they have is Singha , not my favourite , but I order one. It’s an off night and the offerings are not good. About ten girls and not one ‘star’ amongst them. One regular looking gal grinning and staring at me … “sorry honey , I’d prefer to fuck a dog” : )

Seems Chiangrai is a Friday , Saturday night town. The offerings on other nights are not inspiring. Arrive in Rai on a Friday chaps. If you arrive Friday , you will have full choice at Disco , Massage & Inn Come Karaoke.

Back to Wiang Inn Massage , and in walks a ‘star’ , taller than average , full sized body (something representing Western size , and I do not mean ‘fat’ , just big boned girl with sufficient wrapping/meat). She must have been out the back humpin when I came in. She would be popular , cause she has a ‘models’ face. Most probably working every night to pay off that new motorcyc (motorcycle) ?

But like the others she sits there motionless , staring into space. A ‘Fridge’ , pretty one at that. Thoughts of someone having just banged her and her ‘cold’ posture do not help me ‘over the line’ (rent her). To make matters worse , she gets up and walks out again. Seems she only gives punters 2/3 mins to make up their mind. Perhaps her modus operandi is to walk in and out all the time , not sitting their bored. But then , she saw there were only four grinning village boys (pervs , not buyers) plus myself perving on her. No doubt the boys were pointing finger at her etc ‘look , look , that one beautiful’ etc … “behaviour unbecoming a punter”. Or perhaps it was not a big enough stage (audience) for her. So she went out the back again ?

Anyway , did not bother to finish my beer and walked out too. Now , a problem , what to do. Its too early in the night. Disco would be dead ; can’t go to Lobo’s or nearby GoGo’s (would be branded ‘butterfly’) as I want Mongolian Maid to come to my room for ‘cash flow’ ; Karaoke gals at ‘Come’ good but a battle with language all over again methinks , plus the problem of expensive ladies drinks ; Whore Houses non functional. Agent T also non functional (he will be back from Tour soon).

So a bit of ‘Spider and Fly’ at Ayes table , right on the footpath , then on my bicycle and pedal home. Freshen up for Mongolian Maid and our first session (? optimist : )

Wake up next morning , little bit of washing , tap this out , brunch (breakfast-lunch) at Ayes including a “brekky beer” (draught) , change money , buy ‘fim’ (film) , call in to Agent T’s Tour HQ , and ask T ….. “University Students Tee Ny ?” (meaning : Uni students where ?). Put the heat on him , time to ‘get it or forget it’ : )

Then ‘Maid’ calling 2.30pm. She will wake up this morning a bit nervous , knowing that for her to continue cash flow she has to front my room by herself and ‘deliver’. I am sure she is hot and loves sex , but with a falang ! ? , that might be a step too far for her ? : ) Hopefully her offsider , who called with her yesterday will advise her well , eg, “falang cock not too big , falang got money Thai guys do not have money” etc : ).

Maid would earn no more than Baht1/150 per day in Lobo. This is her chance to earn an additional Baht500 per day. Is that enough to get her across the line ? To tell you the truth I am not sure. This girl is genuinely apprehensive about being alone in a room with falang. She trembles with fear , I tremble with excitement (fiend : )

As I type this out , Mongolian Maid arrives 30 mins early , with Chaperone once again. I had bought some ‘Spy’ (alchoholic drink) , had it sitting in ice ready for her. Thought the ‘Spy’ (same stuff she orders when I buy her a Ladies Drink at Lobo) would help get her over the line. Looks like there is no line to cross , as far as she is concerned. She’s brought a companion/chaperone yet again !

I quickly communicate that she was supposed to come by herself. Her offsider replies with requests for ‘shopping’. I say , “no money for shopping”. Then I reiterate that Maid is supposed to come by herself. Offsider communicates , words to the effect , “if you want to fuck her … Baht10,000 all night”. All this time Mongolian Maid does not look up from the Thai dictionary she is reading (embarrassed with ‘money talk’). I say , ‘pang’ (expensive) , little later offsider (now , as far as I am concerned … ‘mama-san’) says “Baht5000” , I confirm that she is talking about all night (“tung koon”) , and communicated by hand language etc that I will fuck her five times , if that is the asking price. She communicates this to Maid who looks up from Dictionary and smiles at girl friend , thinking “the dirty old pervert wants to fuck me five times in one night”.

Later on girl friend , now posing as ‘Broker’ (aka , pimp) communicates words to the effect “you should take her back to your country” and then later , “if you want to marry her its Baht200,000 to the parents”. Offsider should never have mentioned “marriage”, alarm bells are now set off in Thommo’s head : )

I said I will think about Baht5000 all night. Mongolian Maid seemed to be uncomfortable with talk about ‘all night’ , but comfortable with girlfriend talking about trip to my country and/or marriage.

At least we have got rid of the niceties , romance etc and have mentioned fucking for the first time.

Now , cause there is little prospect of budget sex I act swiftly , give Maid only Baht100 , offsider repeats “shopping , shopping”, I say words to the effect : “Maid did not come by herself , so no shopping”. Then tell them I am off to Chaen Saeng tomorrow and will call into Lobo on return from there. Not sure I will even do that , enough of that Ladies Drinks crap , its time for ‘deliverance’ (atonement). Think I will not go to Lobo ever again. If ‘Maid’ wants money she has to come to my room by herself and get her pants off. Enough is enough. Too much stuffing around.

Pity , great body etc but alas , it seems , Maids girlfriend only thinks of me as an ATM and Maid herself apparently only thinks of me as marriage material , and not as a customer (pay for play guy).

Maid has the wrong ‘advisor’ (girlfriend) who has stuffed up the romance with talk of Baht200,000 and marriage.

My only short term hope now is to go to Chaeng Saen , cross fingers that government hasn’t closed down their lady houses (whore houses) and so , get a ‘native’ bang there. A longer term possibility is to make contact with Agent T tonight in Chiangrai and see if he can introduce me to some University Students , as promised. Wiang Inn Massage girls do not appeal to me. Some are pretty , but their stone faced expression turns me off.

So no sex again tonight , and once again beer is my best friend : )

It doesn’t cost me Baht 5,000 to drink beer all night. And beer doesn’t ask me to ‘go shopping’ either or bring up the subject of ‘marriage’ (Maids girlfriends idea).

What person in their right mind would pay Baht200,000 to marry a ‘dancing girl’. ? When there are good looking University Students who speak reasonable English , have a brain and motivation to do well in life. A girl hanging around selling Ladies Drinks isn’t my idea of a ‘marriage partner’ : ) Especially at my age. If I needed a partner I’d want a motivated filly who will go out and make money for me , not a lazy hangabout , who can only spend my hard (?) earned cash at the local Shopping Malls and sit around watching TV : )

Yes , Mongolian Maid , still has the same sex appeal , but the mention of Baht10,000 then Bt5000 for all night , and talk of marriage by her girlfriend (fellow workmate at Lobo) has put a big dampener on the romance.

The day has run away from me. Its 3.30pm , time to shower , take clothes off line , get down to Bus Station and see what time buses leave for Chaeng Saen tomorrow , find Agent T and see what he’s got for me (nothing ?) , meet my best friend in town … Beer Sodt (draught beer) and maybe even wander across to Wiang Inn for yet another perv. Costs only Baht80 for a beer and perv , who knows “Miss Rocket” might be there tonight ? The Lady who can take me to the moon : )

So , I ride the bicycle down to Ayes , eat , to Internet Café , then to Agent T , and I find he is already drunk. Two glasses of anything and he is drunk. I ask him about “University Students” , he brings forth the Tour Guide driver and his car , we take off in the direction of that garden restaurant (visited 3 yrs ago) full of lovely college/uni students earning Baht50 per day. However , on the way T explains that particular restaurant of yesteryear has closed down , hence reason I could not find it on the motorbike before. We arrive at a much bigger Restaurant with a man made medium sized lake in the centre. Walk along a rickety bridge , pass a lovely Burmese style building on the left , pond underneath and to both sides of us. You’d want to be careful , walking out of their , on that rickety bridge drunk : )

A pretty and ‘hungry’ student waitress quickly approaches us. We will call her ‘Cute’. Sit down , order food drinks. For some strange reason T seemed to get rid of the best looker (Cute) and replace her with something less (his choice ?) I tell him first one (Cute) is best looker , he says a few Thai words and ‘Cute’ immediately returns to our table. The Waitresses at these places , stand at or near table all the time , attending to your every need (filling glass etc). Well , not your every need , no under the table BJ’s for example : )

T says ‘Cute’ is mastering in English at the University , yet she can not speak one word of English : ) Above average height , very short mini skirt with a dainty belt hanging below waist line , plus a cap. She looked “button faced cute” : )

Then , I think T and his offsider , the driver , start giving the gal a hard time cause her face squirms a bit from time to time. Took some photo’s of her (prospect of tip makes it possible for photo’s) and asked for the bill (gep tung) , placed in her hand a generous tip and placed in tray a modest tip. The one I placed in her hand she gets to keep , the one in the tray is shared around amongst the other staff. Gave her a nice tip cause I think the guys I am with gave her a hard time (in Thai language). And all she is doing is working for peanuts at night , so she can study by day. Nice girl , caught in a jam , two drunk Thais talking shit to her , and one falang who wants to fuck her : )

I think this is the closest my two Thai companions ever get to a girl like ‘Cute’. She is good looking , studying at University etc. The only time she would give my companions the time of day is when she had to …. as a waitress , serving them. Any other time , she’d ignore them , I am sure of that.

As I left , I looked back at waitress , she did not look/farewell me or the guys , her mind was already elsewhere. I have noticed this on tour a couple of times , a gal being ever so charming , but once she’s got the money (eg in this case , generous tip) ….. you just don’t exist anymore.

Chiangrai.

Button faced , cute University Student.

Waitressing at night for Baht100 (U$2.50) plus share of tips

studying by day.

Someone to her right is cuddling up to her , I wonder who ? : )

It’s the mercurial/mercenary streak which prevails in Thailand that worries me. Perhaps in this case its just a cultural thing in respect of departures. I am accustomed to farewelling folks and being farewelled in return , eg , Philippines.

So , we went to yet another Restaurant in search of a pick up waitress. This Restaurant is called “The Sea” Restaurant , in Pahohylithin Rd on the way to Inn Come Hotel , right hand side. Agent T swapped a lot of waitresses around here , until we hit on “Miss Candy”. She had a reasonably good grasp on English , nice face and best eyes possibly of the whole tour. Problem is , she is too slim for me. Anyway she is a bright bubbly intelligent student who likes to joke etc. “Hungry” , this girl is hungry , asking me where I stay , do I have cellphone etc. Right girl with wrong body …. unfortunate : )

Prior to arriving at this Restaurant , T advised me that both Chiang Khong and Chiang Saen have suffered the same fate as Chiangrai , “no Lady Houses” , but that Mae Sai still has them and has possibly expanded re Lady Houses in the last three years , as a result of closures in Chiangrai I presume (supply meeting demand). So Mae Sai it will be , not the other places. Have no time to waste , my plane to Philippines is leaving in five days time.

I told Miss Candy I was going to Mae Sai. She asked me to bring back some Mae Sai Candy … (hence her nick name) The candy had a Thai name I could not pronounce. Told her to write it down in Thai language , the following .. “Give this falang ……………. (name of candy)” She thought writing such a note was funny (so did I) , but it was a sure way of bringing back the right ‘merchandise’. Miss Candy was finding a way of extending the ‘romance’, of getting me to return to her Restaurant. She was keen , but needs to eat about 10 big Macs a day for 3 or 4 months for me to be interested in bangin her …. too slim/skinny for my likes. I do not like fat chicks , but I do like medium sized round bodies , “skeletons , or something bordering on the ‘starved look’ (eg fashion models) , I do not like” : )

Yeh , I know my fussiness has cost me a few fucks , but its always been “all or nothing” with me. If I can not get what I want , I go without. Through this ‘no compromise’ approach I’ve met some honeys in my life. If your spending valuable time with ‘dogs’ how can you find the honeys ?

There is an old saying “I bargained with life for a penny , and life would pay me no more” . Similarly if you seek ‘anything’ , anything is what you will get. If you hold out for good lookers , good lookers you will get. If not , try again : )

Quality versus quantity.

I exit The Sea Restaurant , Miss Candy farewells me at the front door and I am Chauffer driven back to ‘the Office’ where T operates from , and where my push bike (bicycle) is. Farewell drunk as a skunk T , hop on my bike and pedal one and a half kilometres back home , no lights , no helmet , slightly drunk , wobbling over the road a bit : )

At least T has saved me time. Without him I would have wasted 24hrs going to Chiang Khong looking for ‘lady’. So far he is the only one in Chiangrai I can talk to about sex. I can see that his major modus operandi/recruiting technique is courting student waitresses. I have learnt something here. I have listed his modus operandi as one to be investigated further : )

Think I will do native Restaurant recruiting tours on my own in the future. Cheaper paying for beers for one guy (self) , than Whisky and food for two other guys (T and driver) in addition to the cost of my beers. Admittedly I don’t have the Thai language skills yet , but also I do not have to worry about drunk guys talkin’ shit to a gal I am interested in either. Possibly Miss Cute , at the first Restaurant , did not farewell me/us cause of the shit those two guys gave her ?

The bills (gep tung) for both Restaurants did not come cheap , about Baht1200 in total and nothing much to show for it , apart from observing T’s modus operandi. So far Agent T has not been value. Don’t think many mongers would have the patience to try recruiting ‘Agents’ (aka , Contacts) like I do. Especially younger mongers. But I can get more ‘carnal delights’ this way , in the Philippines anyway. Have yet to achieve similar success in Thailand. Regular ‘pay for play’ girls do not appeal to me any more , regardless of how good looking they are : )

So its Mae Sai (‘Burma Lady , no hair’ : )

This Dispatch is eight pages long on my laptop , will park pen now , and send you Mae Sai report within 48hrs.

……………. Lance Corporal Thommo , “missing in action” (or should I say , “missing the action” : ) Better be careful , If I don’t get some ‘kills’ soon I might be ‘dishonourably discharged’ ! : )

Hepi Nu Yia …………. Happy New Year

“Arise all LON’s and fornicate as never before”

Dispatch No.14.

“Monger escapes death (Phuket)” : See separate Matty B email , an extension of his previous email on how he escaped the Tsunami and death (Phuket). UPDATE : This email was sent out to the 'True Believers' , those who listed for Dispatches/Emails.

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So on the morning of my departure to Mae Sai I call in to the Internet Café that gave me no problems copying from floppy , just 48 hours before. I’ve had lots of frustration in Thailand getting access to the floppies. This includes Chiangrai where I have had the most frustration. So to reduce possibility of frustration I return to the same Café and same computer as 48hrs ago , but this time I can not access the Floppy , gal gets Computer onto Thai language setting in attempt to get it to work , but fails.

So , I have to go and try another Café that I have had trouble with before. But before I do that I try and help the first Café girl. She has desk sign for foreigners which is gibberish . I rewrite on pad for her and indicate that is the correct way. I am trying to help her , but what does she do , she takes it as criticism. Rule No.1. , you can NOT criticise a Thai. She develops and angry face and walks out the back , and will only return when I leave , I know that much. Thais will not accept advice/suggestions , cause they immediately interpret them as criticism.

Then down to the Café that causes me the most trouble , it’s the only one open early , and voila it works ! Dispatch , dispatched.

To bus terminal to buy ticket early and thus guarantee a seat. Guy says in English air con bus leaves at No.17 bay and that I buy ticket inside bus , can not buy before. So , cause I can not buy ticket in advance I return to bus station at 11.45pm for the 12.30pm bus to make sure I get on the bus. 12.35 comes then 12.45pm and then finally bus arrives. I board bus only to find out you buy ticket outside at ticket box marked Chiangmai (no mention of Mae Sai). Guy had fed me misinformation. Here I was sitting right next to the ticket office for one hour , thinking I had to buy the ticket inside the bus. Whilst waiting at ticket office to see if I can now get a seat , I’m thinking to myself , “if I do not get a seat I am going to get out of Thailand as quickly as possible”. Had enough ‘frustration’.

Fortunately there was a vacant seat on the bus. So we leave and have got a typical mad inept Thai bus driver and no seat belts. Arrive at Mae Sai within 55 mins. At Mae Sai bus terminal I try and buy ticket back to Rai for next day. No can do , but find out a VIP (?) bus leaves at 2pm. Go to Songthaew driver waiting alongside the terminal and say 20Baht in local language , he laughs and says 100Baht , I say I will wait. As soon as I said that , another driver pops up and says 20Baht alright. First driver mercenary.

At Taitong Hotel woman says Bt300 fan room , I say in Thai , “my friend pay Bt250” , she says yes , Bt250. Mercenary. Unload bags in room , head out for a beer or two …. need to unwind , frustrating mercenary Thailand is getting to me. Can’t get to Philippines quickly enough. No chance of a seat to Phil before my confirmed departure date in four days time. During that time will have to play it cool and see if Thailand delivers me anything of reasonable value. Reasonable value compared to what I can get in the Philippines , that is.

Thailand : Regular soul-less whores there are a-plenty. Nice fuckable chicks are few and far between. I have not fucked one yet.

Going to have a busy night tonight researching Mae Sai nightlife scene and maybe bump into a good fuck ? . In your dreams Thomas , in your dreams : )

Mentally I have given up on Thailand , I am just waiting to get back to the Little Brown Bombers of the Philippines.

To Shrine whore scene , I impregnated 3 years ago. Changed , Lady Houses now calling ‘Massage’. Butt ugly babes sighted.

To Wang Thong Hotel Restaurant. Good lookers there. Bt90 small beer = Pesos130 , crazy prices cause exchange rate in Thailand no good (relative to Philippines). No buffet tonight , they have a group tour. Where am I going to eat ? Mae Sai is a dog of a place for decent accommodation , food , and women. Looks like my only food tonight is beer , followed by a hangover the next day ?

Mae Sai

Wang Thong Hotel

Waitress.

(Photo did not scan well. Her face is much better than that)

At Baht250 no hot water (Hotel Taitong). Chiangrai Baht170 and hot water. Mae Sai is a dog of a town.

6pm go to sleep (nothing else to do). Set alarm for 8pm , it goes off , I decline to get up (no motivation). Wake up again 9.30pm not sure if I should get up … whats the point , ‘dog of a town’. Get up , out onto street 9.45pm and the town is already deserted/empty. Contract a motorcyc taxi at Baht50 per hour , go to ‘falang restaurant’ , named : Uncle John Restaurant. Where is ‘Uncle John’ , done his dough and scampered back to his home country no doubt , leaving Thais with an asset. Typical scenario.

Uncle Johns Menu limited , but tasty. After that , motorcyc (pillion passenger) whore tour.

Motor cyc driver takes me to typical whore scene by the river (Shrine Whore scene). Agent T is right , number of lady houses has increased. Three years ago three lady houses , now about six in this same area alone. They now call them ‘Massage’ and they are all inhabited by dogs of women , with the exception of one place who had only one , but she was attractive. Not the case three years ago (better chicks before govt campaign).

PIC... Mae Sai. Shrine (encaged). Whore scene. Certainly not worth travelling to Mae Sai to experience.

Note : Pic removed , to save downloads.

Mae Sai

On previous tour ,

this babe was on offer in the Shrine area.

Nothing like her this tour.

Govts clean up campaign is ruining our 'hobby' and passion.

Then motorcyc driver shows me about four/six more lady houses/Massage , scattered all over the place , all inhabited by average gals , dogs at worst. Most have only three or four gals in employ , one place had only one girl on their books ! Regular deal was Baht100 trad massage one hour , Baht1000 to take back to your hotel all night. No hokey pokey on the premises (was possible three years ago before clean up campaign). Small number were trad massage only , no take out.

So , as far as Mae Sai is concerned , the governments clean up campaign has had the effect of an increase in whore houses which are now calling themselves ‘Massage’ , plus no fucking on the premises , must take out. Problem , which hotels would accept the gals ? If the ‘Massage’ places would not accept fucking on the premises cause scared of government , what Hotel would ? Very few I suspect.

Forget Mae Sai , it’s a dog of a town.

Before returning to my Hotel I had one beer at MB Disco , respectable sound system , a Wednesday night so rather empty. Big place , but only around 150/200 in attendance at a guess. I took an elevated position over the dance floor , no one was interested in me , the only falang there , and “hansum” at that : ). Seemed to be about three guys to every girl. Mind wanders back to …. SF Disco Philippines , where there seems to be three girls to every guy !

So back to Taitong Hotel , survey completed. Within 1.35hrs I’d been to 9/10 whore houses and the BM Disco. I’m ‘lightning’ some times. Don’t fool around. No need for me to sit down in Lady House , have a beer and evaluate the chicks. Can tell in ten seconds if anything decent is available or not.

So northern Thailand evaluation is as follows : ….. Chiangmai by far the best prospect , Chiangrai rather dormant , Mae Sai a dog of a town not worth visiting.

Thursday back to Chiangrai , full of ambience and charm , pedal around the streets on my pushbike , eat great food and drink draught beer (Ayes Restaurant) , waiting for Mongolian Maid to succumb. She’s got less than 24hrs to cross the line : )

Early Friday to Chiangmai on the bus , contact ‘Karaoke Cutie’ on her cell phone and place pizza order (she calls to my room). Would have to be when she is off duty , that is , day time Friday.

Sunday to Bangkok and catch flight to Sunflower Disco (Philippines).

So still in Chiangrai and pedalling around on my push bike. Did not visit Lobo and ‘Maid’ as promised to her. Had enough of that circus. Did a survey on push bike pedalling out to Par Disco , Karaoke and Restaurants/Bars along that street. Dropped into Sea Restaurant and passed Mae Sai candy to sister of Candy Girl , who was absent. They thought it was funny , falang pedalling around at night delivering ‘candy’ etc. , so did I : )

Another student Waitress.

Sighted on my 'push bike manouvres' , last night in Chiangrai.

In Thailand , student Waitresses are everywhere , earning Baht100 (U$2.50) per night.

They need your 'support' and you need their untarnished 'honey'.

This one has particularly nice lips , for . . . ...: )

plus round bodacious body , tiny waist line and good ass.

Who needs Agent .T. ?

Looks like ... not me : )

Yet another accident in Pahohylothin Rd , this one fatal. Thirty metres from where I am sitting at Ayes Restaurant. Guys brains all over the road. Eight police and hundred or so spectators. Big deal for Chiangrai or any town for that matter. Thais have accidents and how. They have no road sense. And I have no sense , pedalling around at night on a Ladies bike , poorly lit roads , no helmet , no lights ... on a push bike. Such is d’ life of an impoverished ageing monger : ) Please send donations urgently , so I can rent a motorbike with lights and helmet : )

So it’s the last night at Ayes Restaurant and waitress sneaks up behind my right shoulder and says in English “You are VIP customer here”. Now that’s a nice compliment and its not because of big tips , cause I tip moderately , Bt10 to Bt20 for a 3/400 Baht order. The fact that I visit the place three or four times a day most probably gives me VIP status : )

Waitresss : "What is your order , oh 'VIP' customer" ?

Thommo : Mmmm , I'll have one BBBJ , followed by a 'Missionary position' and then a 'Doggy' for desserts.

Waitress : "Your wish is my command , oh VIP customer , out the back (kitchen) and off with ya' pants" : )

Had a look at Wiang Inn Massage again , worse than before , ten girls and only one looker. Chiangmai beats Rai for Massage (and just about everything else that has got anything to do with sex : )

So , 6.45am next morning I pedal one and a half kilometres on the push bike through the early morning fog juggling four bags , totalling about 30kg. Leave bike at bike shop and carry bags remaining half kilometre to bus station. VIP bus takes off on time (with VIP Thomas : ) , and during three hour trip (four and half hours with some of the other buses) I ponder if its worth travelling to Rai in Sept just to get Agent T when he is not busy. Answer , "no" , I should fine tune my language skills and search the native Restaurants on my own. Lot cheaper and possibly more effective. T gets drunk awfully quickly and I don’t know if he is capable of impressing gals when he is drunk. Thais respect people in control , being drunk is not in control.

Whats the value of Thailand ? For me , charm , ambience , sweetness (with the occasional sourness) , good food , nice accommodation. Sex does not come into it. Apart from the Bangkok and Pattaya babes who know how to ‘play act’ , the Thai babes are refrigerators. Cold compared to the naturally hot Filipinas (Philippines). Not everyones opinion of course : )

So Thailand is a nice break for me , but its not really a sex destination. It never has been , but I keep coming back .... 'charm' , they charm me back , time and again :)

On arrival in Chiangmai , got waitress at favourite Restaurant to call ‘Karaoke Cutie’ and speak in Thai (so no misunderstandings). Waitress said the girl screamed when she heard ‘Thomas’ is back. Whether screams of joy for the renewed cash flow or what , I do not know , and we falangs will never know. 'Screaming' seems to be the vogue , both in Thailand and Philippines , when Thomas is involved anyway .... rock star/hansum : ) . Set 4pm Friday afternoon for her to call at my room and she did , and on time. Cute girl this one. Off with clothes and saw those great legs in full for the first time , almost hairless pussy , cute face radiating. Typical Northern Thai fuck … ie controlled , no emotions (Buddhism). And no blowjob !

Bangkok Pattaya babes are corrupted and know if they don’t show emotion/act they don’t get a tip. Northern babes don’t know about this , apart from maybe Spotlight GoGo and Loi Kroh Beer Bar girls. Karaoke Cutie did the best a Buddhist ‘pay for play’ girl could. Gave her Baht500 (ST) and she asked if I was calling that night Karaoke , and I replied yes. She then knew she’d earn more from me and thus gladly accepted the Bt500. If I said no , she might have asked for more : ) I’d already spent enough on her before I went to Chiangrai , enough is enough.

I had no intention of going to her Karaoke that night. My plane for Bangkok leaves early afternoon next day and then I’ve got 24hrs in Sin City - Bangkok. Will see some action there , especially after sleepy Northern Thailand. Following day is Flight SF001 , Sunflower 001 : )

Less frustration/confusion … more sex (Philippines).

Out of the refrigerator (Thailand) , into the Oven (Philippines).

Way to go : )

So its my last night in Northern Thailand (Chiangmai) … quiet night , beer & perv at Sayuri again ? , Illusion Disco , Bossy Disco , Bubble Disco , that should do it.

The night came , first I paid a visit to Sayuri. 7.45pm Hailed Tuk Tuk and it turns out to be young driver with his girlfriend sitting next to him. Outside the tuk tuk and as I talk to the driver , I put my hands over my eyes , lower my head and said “Sayuri” , pretending to be embarrassed/ashamed to ask for a sex massage place in front of his girl friend. Girlfriend smiled , driver said “Sayuri , no worry , no problem”. He’s thinking Bt500 commission already : )

Arrive Sayuri , usual Karaoke girls at entrance , nothing special this time. Enter Massage and it rocks , lots of girls on display and about five model type lookers amongst them. For me numbers 69 , 95 & 119 were the most appealing , but there were others also. Best Massage display in Northern Thailand , I am sure of that. Chat to Thais to my right , they said they pay Baht900 for the girls and give Baht100 tip. Thai to my left says he is a Digital Photographic mechanic , been to my country recently etc. Everyone friendly at Sayuri , great perving spot. Drank a large Heineken slowly and observed the ‘stars’ go to and fro (busy ones). Had to give number 69 the edge as she had a classic Thai provincial face and seemed shy about the proceedings. She sat way up at the back , as if to say “please do not take me”. Naturally I had to award her a prize. Told the Thais next to me : “you know Miss World , you know Miss Chiangrai” , they nodded yes. “Well number 69 is Miss Sayuri” , they got the drift , and smiled.

Called papa-san forward and the two lads to my right explained to him that I think number 69 is Miss Sayuri. Gave him (papa-san) special souvenir gift and Baht100 prize. He went around to back of Fish Pond , and I saw him call her where girls enter pond , and give her the ‘prize’. She went out the back for a while but then returned , holding the gift. Before that , she looked a bit sad , now her hopes have been raised and she’s got the tuk tuk fare home : ) If you go to Sayuri do not expect No.69 to be a movie star but do expect to see the kind of girl Thommo likes (provincial , shy , non commercial look). Hope they don’t change numbers , otherwise the new 69 might be a ‘dog’ : ) No dogs at Sayuri by the way , some average ones in amongst a lot of pretty ones , but no dogs.

Number 95 had great slutty eyes that swept upwards at the corners , plus small pouty lips , medium length hair. Very short dress , folded her legs exposing a lot of thigh. Number 119 was most probably the prettiest girl there (for me) but when I first saw her , full of confidence , a tad fidgety and a tad ‘commercial’ look about her. So 69 was Miss Sayuri , 95 Miss Slutty Eyes , and 119 Miss Picturesque.

Hell , wish I could get over the line with Massage girls. Have a mental block with them , great faces etc but they come across ‘stiff’ sitting there like Mummies (as in Egypt). The governments clean up drive and thus lack of Lady House girls , requires me to overcome this mental thing about Massage girls. Must ‘get over the line’ on this one , as the Massage girls at Baht 750/900 are not expensive , especially when you think you can drop 5/600 on an equally pretty Karaoke girl without even fucking her.

Don’t know what I did for an hour or so that night but recall calling back to Sayuri to perv some more and maybe get over the line and fuck No.95 the sexiest looking one at Sayuri. Falang (foreigner) next to me says he has been to Sayuri about ten times , arrives on his motorbike (no tuk tuk commission) and pays Baht2000 every time and Baht500 tip to the girl. Sucker ! I told him what the Thais are paying (Baht750/850) and tip Baht100 . He smiled , took it on the chin and said next time he comes to Thailand he’d try offering those prices , “too late now , paid 2000 x 10 times”. He is right , difficult to get papa-san to drop the price , plus loss of face for everyone , including the falang : )

If he’d paid the right price in the first place , he’d have about Baht12,000 more for beers etc. But they are good at Sayuri , and its difficult to get babes lower than Baht1500 at Pandora , no comparison , Sayuri wins every time.

I thought about poking Miss Slutty eyes , but even though she had everything a man like me wants , she sat their motionless , staring into space. That doesn’t turn me on : ) Had Karaoke Cutie earlier in the day , enough is enough , I exit Sayuri via their Nightclub , and find a big change there , its about 10.30pm and there are twenty five gals on stage , two or three lookers , most average and a couple of dogs. Standard of Karaoke girls at front has improved too , one ‘model’ amongst them. So early in night and off nights , different perspective at Sayuri (and just about every where else).

PIC... Chiangmai. Pic 1 : Directions to Sayuri Massage. Bumrang Rat Road. Turn left at the corner , just before this red letter box (in Bumrang Rat Road). See website notes for more details. Pic 2 : Chiangmai. Sayuri Complex. Punter entering the main door. Up steps to right , furthest right is Karaoke (forget) , next to the left is the Massage Parlour entrance (enter).

Note : Pics removed , to save downloads.

Off to Bossy Disco at Chiangmai Land . Gotta slip behind enemy lines somehow , that is , avoid Karaoke Cutie seeing me as I pass by in the Tuk Tuk. Maybe there is a way in at the other end of CM Land road but my language skills are inadequate for that one , so we fly past KC’s place , I wave , tuk tuk stops some distance from Bossy entrance. At first I did not realise , he did that cause its not ‘cool’ to arrive at Bossy in a tuk tuk : )

No entrance fee , the joint is packed to the ceiling , hardly any standing space and certainly no seat unoccupied. The joint is rocking with lots of Thai cuties and Thai guys. Thai only joint , not a single falang in sight. Design of this medium sized disco is not Spider and Fly friendly. Either your on the flat , one level disco floor or your two or three metres up above (too far away). Not good for ‘observation’ or catching a cuties eye. I certainly felt ‘falang’ (foreign) at this joint , next to no chance of a pick up , unless I was 22-25yrs of age , methinks , so out of there and to the elusive ‘Nice Illusion’ Disco which some punters reckon is a great pick up. You recall two/three visits there before drew a blank. Enter Illusion and surprise , a few punters in a small poorly (Spider and Fly) designed disco. The joint is certainly not rocking like Bossy and waitress said they are closing in one and half hours time , 1am. Illusion can not , repeat not , be a great pick up place at all. It is an illusion yes , it is not a good pick up joint. So one beer and out of there and to Bubble Disco at Porn Ping Hotel.

PIC... Nice Illusion (Disco). Dont know why I took pics of this much talked about place as it truly is an illusion (non event) when compared with Bubble Disco. And Bubble is a non event compared to Disco's in Bangkok & Pattaya : ). Look at right hand pic first. Get off Tuk Tuk at Sompet Market , in the background , then walk across brown steel bridge (over moat) to Nice Illusion , pic on left. UPDATE : Feb 2005. Nice Illusion crashed , out of biz. 'Spicy' folk took over the premises (p/up joint now).

Note : Pics removed , to save downloads.

So , I am now at Porn Ping Tower Hotel (sorry , no porn : ). First out of curiosity I enter Thai style ‘Hot Shot’ Disco 50mtrs from Bubble , but I find they are playing Thai provincial songs , not really a disco atmosphere. Then Bubble and they are charging Bt200 entrance ‘special night’ says the doorman. Anyway the 200 gets ya two drinks , so no problem. Enter and Bubble is about to burst , packed to the ceiling , very lively. My control tower seat on previous visit to Bubble has been taken of course. I stand on first step above it and place my beer on control tower table , two Thai babes at that same table smile , no objections.

Well , on a Friday/Sat night , if you cant get a bang at Bubble you cant get one anywhere. Lots of hooker type ladies on offer , plus some ‘good girls’. The ones who let me park my beer on their table give me the ‘glad’ eye right from the start , but I have just arrived ..”chah chah kup” (slowly : ). I see a tiny little smiley provincial looking gal at bottom of steps to my right one and a half metres away. She is not taken. I check her bottle , empty , I buy her another bottle , she is happy. Later on she comes forward and we clink bottles “chon gow” (‘cheers’). Then a little later she leans forward and says “where you from”. I say … “Clock Tower” , she smiles and nods in agreement , she’s obviously been reading whorist.com : )

I look across to her a number of times and we exchange smiles. When she finished the beer I bought I said ‘lau bpy’ = ‘we go’ , and go we did. All this happened within 45 mins of arriving at Bubble. Could have taken her earlier but delayed exit wondering if I could find something better , but decided ‘bird in the hand is worth two in the bush’ , and I just could not resist that lovely smile of hers : )

Took her to a late night restaurant , where we ate. Her English is limited but passable , so too my Thai. We are able to communicate in a limited way. Back to my room at Roon Ruang (really roll those r’s fella’s). Nice big double bed , tv , fridge , solid walls (no sound from nearby room). Off with the lights much fucking for the remainder of the night. She’s a bit small for me , but I’d drunk a few beers and that got me across the line. Banged her two times only , but good sessions. She grinned all the way but did not show much in the way of emotion. Didn’t have the heart to give her Bt500 , gave her Bt1000. She asked me “where you go today”. Told her “Bangkok , but will come back” (in 1/2/3 years time but didn’t tell her that part : ). She gave me friends cell phone number. Sweet girl. Little does she know that I am a butterfly boy : )

Disco girl ,

meets Disco boy ! : )

I’ve had enough sweetness to overcome the odd sourness. Nice tour of Thailand but still prefer the naturally hot Filipinas (Philippines) as bed companions. Good looking Thai babe beats a good looking Filipina for beauty , but does not compare in bed.

Woke up next morning with a mild hangover , typed this out , have brekky , get “fim” (film) developed , re-pack bags and then off to Sin City Bangkok to satisfy my curiosity re Gullivers Soi.5 and Siam Coffee Shop. Last time I visited ‘Siam’ it did not rock , but I left the place early , 12 midnight. This time I will arrive around 11pm and hang around to 1am at least. Might not have time for Angels , CM2 , etc.

Hold tight for Thommo’s ‘last stand’ in Thailand.

Heaven knows when I will return to sweet (‘n sour : ) Thailand.

Brazil is possibly my next call.

Dispatch No.15.

To Bangkok today , and on the way to Chiangmai Airport I feel washed out. Four weeks solid drinking etc. Thommo , good for ST (Short Time) only. Two more weeks to go , could be longer cause I do not have a confirmed seat out of the Philippines. Money getting a bit low. Fella’s please send money , lots and lots of money : )

Reading newspaper at Airport and see foreign governments warning about a possible terrorist attack in Bangkok. Not going to Angels Disco , good , that might a terrorist target. Siam Coffee Shop and Gullivers should be safe.

Board plane and guy next to me has a rotten breath. Wont be encouraging any conversations with him : )

Arrive at Bangkok Domestic Airport taxi stand , people there want Baht550 taxi to the city. Rip off. Catch Shuttle Bus to Intl Airport and get taxi ticket at taxi booth. The deal : Baht50 extra for driver (he pays Bt50 to Airport Authorities to pick up passengers at Airport) , plus any toll fees along the way , plus meter charge. Driver takes off and I forget to check if he has put meter on. He calls out Baht300 ok ? I say “stop , put meter on” , he does. Then at first toll he says Bt30 , it was Bt20 , I ask for the 10Bt . Purpose ? Pull this cheeky bugger in to line (it wasn’t the 10Bt). Next toll he says Bt40 . I give Bt100 note to him and he says “can not give you change ok “. I say “can give change , give change”. I get the Bt60 change. At Soi 3 I say “give me taxi ticket , no taxi ticket , no pay”. You can report bad drivers via the taxi ticket. He gives me taxi ticket and I exit the taxi before giving him any money. Bt135 on meter plus 20 plus 40 = Bt195 to get to the city. Including tolls , he was asking the equivalent of Baht360 originally. Gave him Bt200 , he did not deserve a baht more. Watch these rip off artists guys. Chiangmai/Chiangrai pleasant. Bangkok looking unpleasant. Give me the small cities/towns every time.

So began lugging heavy bags along the hot humid Bangkok streets. Make it to Thai House Inn , Soi.7. LON friendly place. Brit. owner out the front. I ask him “got a vacant room. He says “got one room for one night only”. (Actually two for one night only , if you include Saun : ) Spot on , made to order , just what I want. Nothing wrong with the room and its Baht600. Very close to all the action including Bier Garten and Gullivers , Nana Buffet , Internet Cafes etc.

So , I typed this out , will have a shower , eat and then begin a brief survey.

Sunflower Disco Philippines tomorrow night , armed with the ultimate high tech weapon …. ear wax ! (dampen noise). Found it in Chiangrai in amongst my ‘left luggage’. Luggage I left behind 3 years before !

It’s now 2.43am in the morning , a little drunk , don’t know if I could possibly remember all the things that I did since I last typed. I will try , as follows :

Plaza Massage. OK , heard a lot of raves about the place , guys saying knockout ‘models’ etc , so decided to personally visit the place and give a no bullshit report on it. Walked 15 mins up Soi.3. where I came to a T of sorts turned , hard right to building with big Plaza Entertainment Complex Neon sign on top of it. You know , with that kind of sign you’d expect GoGo , Beer Bars , d’ works (‘Complex’). Not so. At the very big main entrance to the building (not side entrance) , you walk up a flight of stairs , and then straight ahead and on your left are two “ponds”. About 50/75 babes in total , ok selection . Up to 6th floor where reputedly the top ‘models’ reside. Of course the top models would be hard to get to wouldn’t they ? Hence , 6th floor . Get to 6th floor and on exiting lift worm my way to Massage ,aka , “Le Lela Club” = only 20/25 massage babes , and not as good as ground floor selection. Overall , Plaza has possibly 100 girls to select from at any one time , but Sayuri (Chiangmai) with 20/25 babes at any one time beats Plaza. Personal opinion only of course.

Walk back 15 mins to where I came from before , and enter Gullivers Pool Bar (Soi.5) and hooker joint. Yep small number of nice hookers there but scene a bit tame. Seems you have to hook them , they don’t want to hook you : ) I don’t kiss ass , so out of there : )

Then to Bier Garten , heaps of ‘hungry’ Freelance hookers there , most average , the odd interesting babe. Yes , they kiss ass ('hungry') at Bier Garten : )

Then I ate at Nana Hotel Restaurant , food ‘so-so’ (from Menu , no Buffet night time)

Internet duties , then off to Siam Hotel Coffee Shop. Problems , taxi drivers (2) reckon they do not know the place. Back to Thai House Inn and get guy there to write down in Thai language the equivalent of : “Thai Hotel Coffee Shop , New Petchaburi Road , near Mona Lisa Massage”. First taxi driver (now third I’ve tried) does not know it. But Second driver (fourth in total I have approached now) does. About 65Baht from Soi.7. I enter front part of Coffee Shop , few chicks there , but Cashier tells me back section of Cof. Shop is the go , full 1am onwards. So I transfer to big back section , get a good ‘control’ (Spider) seat and wait for the action. Two hours later I have the following to report : Yes , some cute babes at Cof Shop (100/150 inside 1am not before , 30/40 outside on street) , preferably you speak Thai but not essential. About 25% or more punters of the punters are Japanese. At 1.30am I thought not many more babes would arrive , but I might be wrong cause this back section stays open 24/7. But I wanted to compare Saim Cof Shop with Angels and so took off in a taxi before Angels closed.

Arrive in the Nana Hotel area and there it’s a sea of people in Soi.4 near Suk’ Road , NEP closed , all bars closed etc. Yet , bar inside Nana Hotel , just outside entrance to Angels Disco itself , is still serving beer. Order 2 beers to take me through to closing time (2am). Bewitching hour arrives , 2am and the gals start pouring out. Amazed at how many babes fit into that medium sized disco. But biggest surprise of them all was the low quality of the gals. When I get home , after this trip , I will have to adjust my website info drastically. Reckon 60/70% of the girls exiting Angels were below average , 25% dogs and only 5% cuties at best. Don’t forget , this was after staring at Siam Cof Shop babes for two hours.

Forget Angels for quality ! And this was a peak night … Saturday ! I expected better. Three years ago I saw honeys in Angels , but now , hard to find. Perhaps the fact that 3 yrs ago I was inside the Disco where its pretty dark. Perhaps that helped the girls look ok ? Now , 2004 outside disco exit where there were bright white lights = could see their faces properly (and they mine , unfortunately : ) Darkness , lots of beers = honeys. Bright white light = not so pretty. Note - Siam Coffee Shop girls were sitting under bright white lights and they looked better , in fact quite good !

Not far from Angels disco exit door , and right next to me , an African American wants this cute slim babe , but she doesn’t want him. She says “plenty of boys out there” pointing to car park outside. Obviously he has not got sufficient money to rent her. I exit Nana Hotel itself and check car park. Guys , you’d have to be desperate to take one of those babes (exceptions prevail). Siam Coffee Shop has better , but conversation severely limited at Siam if you have no Thai language skills. Who comes to Bangkok to talk ? : )

Leaving Angels area and walking along Suk’ towards Soi.7 and home (Thai House Inn) , I chat the odd appealing chick , but they are proud and want me to crawl , “no way Jose”. Confuscius says : “The buyer shall not crawl”. Not far from Suk 3 corner I find all shop lights out. Heaps of people sitting at footpath restaurants in semi darkness , presumably for purposes of ‘interviews’ and drinking alcohol ?

Go back to my room , type this out , then buy a beer downstairs (Thai House Inn) and back to Suk’ Rd , to see what happens after government closure of night spots. It’s 3.14am what will I find ? : )

Well , walking along Suk’ I found lots of katoeys and other folks incl. freelance girls. No beer in sight , I am the only one drinking beer in Suk’ (can in hand). Go right back to Angels car park , and of course , it is now dead. Whilst walking Angels area and back again , chicks are desperate for some cash (last lunge) , and so some grab me by the arm as I pass by. No lookers at this time of the day (3.40am). Only desperadoes , desperate enough to be interested in me : )

To sum up my Thai Tour :

Charming , sweet , polite , beautiful ladies ? yes (Thailand) , but their interest in us is just a pretence (yes/no ? : ).

For sure , I will be back again another day , to soak up the charm , beauty etc and most importantly …….. to f . . k them ……. in the ass (penalty for their pretence : )

So , 10am next morning to Nana Hotel for Buffet Breakfast , great , Bt150 all you can eat , including important fruit which I had neglected to date. On way back from Nana and about to pick up my bags and go to airport I stop at a street vendor , who has a table with watches on it. Ever mindful of Agent A and her desire for a (fake) Rolex , I inspect merchandise on display. I mutter (whisper to myself) “no Rolex”. Guy behind display , ever alert , hears me and says , “Rolex” , I say “yes” , he runs off down Suk’ Soi 4 , turns left and keeps running down another Soi. I wait and wait , finally he arrives and opens a bag behind the counter , and its got about 30 Rolex’s in it .

It’s illegal to sell and even buy fake Rolex nowadays. I look , I select , I barter , hand over Baht 1100 (too much ? haven’t a clue what the real price is) . At the instant I hand over the money , a policeman appears , he is staring at non Rolex watches on the table itself . At that same instant , and from behind the table , I slip Rolex into my pocket , smile at street vendor , wave , and slip away. Maybe that cop saw the transaction and then extracts Bt100 from the vendor ? Everyone is on the make in Thailand/Philippines …. situation normal : )

An explanation as to why I’d buy ‘A’ a Rolex : Good relations are vital to successful whoring. You do not necessarily have to have good relations with regular people , but you need good relations with special people. And Agent A (Philippines) , even though to date , she has not delivered anything special (chicks ie) to me , HAS in the past delivered extra special pussy to me , extra special. So in remembrance of those ‘deliveries’ I give Agent A impetus/motivation to lift her game on this particular tour , and buy her an all important (important in Philippines anyway) Rolex. costing less than U$30 , not too ‘heavy’ an outlay , eh ? : ) Will it make any difference to ‘A’s performance ? . We will see : )

Grab bags at Thai House Inn , then a fun experience. Taxi driver asks Bt300 to go to Airport , I say “meter and tolls”, he smiles (knows I am no sucker) , we hop in. On way to airport he wants to chat , knows as much English as I know Thai : ) I tell him I am going to Philippines , so he asks how is the Phil girl in fucking. I tell him “Phil girl like falang , fuck good , Thai lady no like falang , no fuck good”. He likes that , cause he doesn’t want his Thai sisters fucking with foreigners : )

“Thai Music ? ” he asks , I give him an emphatic yes. As luck has it , he puts on Laotian music , that is , music from Isaan (Thailand). Isaan people are genetically Laotian and reputedly twenty five percent or more of Thailands total population. Illegal border crossers (Tolerance … Thailand …. Buddhism = lots of border crossers). And even more importantly , the driver puts on an Isaan/Laotian singer I like very much. Twangy , plus some ‘zip’ in the music …. lively , and certainly danceable. Driver turns up the volume loud , no problems for me cause I like that kind of ‘twangy’ Laotian/Thai music.

Then he gets excited cause music loud and he is from Isaan , I like the music too and start swaying from side to side (cold sober : ) in back seat. He looks in rear vision mirror ,sees I like it , then he gets more excited , claps his hands together , starts swaying from side to side too , hands now completely off the steering wheel at 110kph (freeway) ! Car bumps and jerks a little this way , a little that way. Fortunately there is not much traffic around us.

Hands now back on steering wheel. I am thinking , this guy has got ‘spark’ , Isaan girls have got spark , next time I call in Thailand , I must research Isaan Province , yes/no ? ………. answer yes , but theory rarely matches practice …. hope I get there one day , hope.

Finally get to airport , and I tell you this (taxi driver) guy was the most lively and most entertaining person of my 14 day stay in Thailand (didn’t tell ya every single thing that happened in those fourteen days). And forgot to tell you , along the way , he told me he is half man half woman. I said to him “katoey” ? His face tightened up , obviously he did not like being called ‘katoey’ , so I said “half man , half woman” , he relaxed and nodded yes , I repeated “half man , half woman’ again , now he smiled and said yes. Ok , back to base , he is happy again.

Gave him a tip cause he not only got me to Airport , but he entertained me all the way (110kph and no hands on steering wheel : ) Hope he learns from that ….. viz give falang what he wants (fun fun) and you will be rewarded (tip). I’m out of the taxi now , all bags out on footpath , pick them up , about to walk through airport doors when the Isaan taxi driver runs up to me and hands me my favourite pair of sunglasses. I had absent mindedly left them on the back seat of his taxi. Honesty from a Bangkok taxi driver ? , now that is something : ) You can see what happens when there is good ‘karma : )

PHILIPPINES :

I find Little brown bombers (Filipina’s) at Bangkok airport catching same flight as me to Philippines. Nothing wrong with those babes , good looking. Only the wealthy fly , only the wealthy are good looking ? : ) You can see the liveliness in Filipinos straight away. More ‘spunk’. Filipino’s belong to the big Malay family , Thais belong to another different family , but not sure what that family it is. Thais , Laotians , Viets , Burmese … seem to be roughly the same tribe.

Arrive at Manila. Misinformation. Ah yes we are back in the land of misinformation (friendly Philippines). Woman at Manila Transfer Desk misguided me in a big way. Lucky I knew she was wrong. Then I get on that magic flight to Cebu City , catch “Happy” brand limousine service at Cebu airport , P275 (P200 a couple of weeks before : ) Driver of Limo is current musician and band member in Cebu City. Has spent some time in Thailand as a muso’. Earns P700 a night playing piano/organ. That’s top money.

At my secret location (accommodation) enter my favourite room , of course held for me (VIP status : ) Within 60 mins Agent ‘A’ rings front desk to confirm that I have returned and leaves message … “4pm tomorrow”. That night , I shower and head for Sunflower Disco , its Sunday night. Arrive at SF , its ok , but more people on Thursday nights. Mousey is there ! , she circles me about 3 or 4 times . I only smile , want to leave my options open. Then 12 midnight realise Mousey must have given up and gone home. If the girls do not have money for taxi they have to leave early to catch last of Jeepneys. It’s a Pesos5 ride (Jeepney) versus a Pesos50 or more (taxi) ride. That’s money , in this neck of the woods , Mousey obviously does not have much money (hence ‘circling’) and so goes home whilst Jeepneys are still available. Unfortunate. I would have liked to have had a chat with her , give her some ‘cheese’ (P100) for taxi etc.

Then I observe a sucker tourist with a very good looking babe and her good looking girl friend. They are treating him like trash. He is jelly in their hands. They would never do that to me , maybe on my first couple of trips to Philippines (1970’s) , but not nowadays , no way Jose.

Then I try to buy a good girl a drink , via waitress , but she declines offer. Lucky I did it via waitress (‘intermediary/contact’) , cause not long after three filipino guys come and sit at her table. Maybe one is boyfriend or brother. Don’t think they would have liked me approaching her directly whilst they were absent . Discretion is the better part of valour : ) A little later on , they all get up to leave , good girl stands very close to me , almost touching me. It was not necessary for her to stand so close to me. Was that the opportunity for me to slip her my cell phone number (don’t have cellphone anyway) ? I will never know , I stay ‘cool’ , say nothing and she departs with those guys. Don’t forget lads , there are good gals at SF and some in company of boyfriend/brother. Be careful : )

Time to go home , had a late night last night in Bangkok , “no hands” taxi driver , plus two flights. Time to rest up and see what Agent A has for me. She’s had two weeks to discover some ‘talent’ as she puts it.

4pm arrives ‘A’ arrives with news of two good ones , plus ……………. Discovery of beautiful girl friend of Elena (Thai Tea gal) , who is not bad looking herself . OK I agree to interview ‘talent’ (one gal) at 8pm and hand over Thai Tea to Elena when she brings her cute girlfriend along. ‘A’ reckons she can organise a switch from Elena to ‘GF’ if I want. What ‘A’ thinks is beautiful , and what I think is beautiful , can be two quite different things , at times : )

8pm arrives and so too does ‘A’ , with a nice one. She looks Thai (eyes) , is calm and has a sexy feel about her. But her sister (acting as pimp) wants P1500 , all night , to fix up a family problem. That’s P500 above what I normally pay. Agree to 1500 (less than U$30) cause this girl looks good value. Agent leaves , and ‘Siam girl’ delivers , yes , she feels naturally sexy and she likes a cock inside her. Had my biggest sex session this tour so far with ‘Siam’. Good looking , Siam/Thai eyes and calmness about her but she gets sexy once the cock enters her. Lovely way she uses her soft hands sliding up and down my rib cage. Nice slutty eyes looking at me all the time. She is enjoying it , and watching me enjoy it. There is something sexy about locking eyes with a gal your fucking. You observing her enjoy it , she observing you enjoy it : )

Fucked her on three separate occasions that night. Next morning she showers and leaves. Didn’t commit myself to her again cause ‘A’ says she has one even better than ‘Siam’.

So , within 24hrs of arriving in the Philippines and SF Disco I have ‘mousey’ circling me , Siam girl sleeping with me and promises of better things to come including ………… ‘GF’ (girl friend) of Elena. Life is good : )

Park pen now , got some Internet Café/Dispatch work to do , check if got confirmed plane seat out of Philippines , eat , etc.

Next night 8pm ‘A’ arrives with her supposed Superstar. Admittedly she is half American half Filipino , that is , very light skin , but she is overweight , no shape , no slim waist line and a tad short. Been eating too many big Macs methinks. Also she had in tow a regular prostitute (‘A’s doing , ie , hedging bets : )

Well , “lightning strikes” (Thommo strikes). I have them out the door within 10 seconds of arriving. It was an insult , having those molls in my room for even 10 secs. Admittedly ‘light skin’ was not a moll , but she was way below ‘acceptable standards’ and bloody ‘A’ , should know that by now. Cause of light skin , A thinks she is beautiful (typical Filipino mentality , ie , light skin = beauty). ‘A’ forgot to look at her body shape …… totally unacceptable !

‘A’ is going to get a tongue lashing from me when she calls 4pm tomorrow. So , what happened ? …… to bed early , will order ‘Siam Pizza’ for tomorrow night , ‘Bubbles’ (shes back in town) for 7 - 10pm Thurs night , then on to Sexy Dancer Competition at SF Disco same night. Saturday its Elena and her pretty girlfriend , aka ‘GF’. Enough ‘bookings’ to keep me busy. The pace is picking up , its much faster and better than Thailand.

Then I forgot to mention , there is the girl at Restaurant , a waitress , we will call ‘W’. This morning she walked towards my table in tight jeans , midriff showing. My what a body , and face alright too. When she gets to my table I said to her : “before I gave you 7.5 to 8 (rating) , today I give you 9” (rating). (Pays to be cheeky and more important , pays to give compliments to women). She gets close to me and whispers she has had an argument with her employer , and being proud , she has decided to resign in two days time. She also said , “you said two weeks in Thailand , I thought you might not come back”.

So this girl is interested in me ? I would never have thought before , that I’d have a hope in banging her , but now it seems I have , cause she will be unemployed and thus ‘hungry’ in two days time. Will call to Restaurant tomorrow , and give her my hotel calling card with room number on it. Perhaps she is silly enough to fall into my web (of deceit) ? : )

“Cookies in the oven”. See how it works , you zoom in , show interest , zoom out (give them time to think about it , eg go to Thailand) , then return to the scene of your deception/bullshit/crime : )

The pace is picking up , Juella (Miss Sexy Dancer competitor/student , before I left for Thailand) might call tonight 8pm also. Depends if her Dept Store girl friend passes on the message. Doesn’t matter too much now if she comes or not , I have got them (babes) coming out of my ears : )

I am now waiting for ‘A’ to arrive at 4pm , so I can place an order for ‘Siam Pizza’ (Miss Siam) tonight , then Bubbles the following night , and so on.

Its starting to look like a Tsinumu of sex , tidal wave of sex …. Thomas …run for cover ! : )

Add to that , ‘A’ has explained to me a cellphone technique to bag more babes. I told her “next trip” , enough for now. I need to buy a cellphone for this one lads , currently do not have a cellphone. Sorry , can not share ‘cellphone technique’ with you folks , otherwise heaps of guys running around Cebu City doing the same thing : ). I like ‘A’s idea , she’s got imagination , reckon her inventive technique will work.

Yeh , I am already fearful of this Thursday night at Sexy Dancer Comp. (SF Disco). Reckon , if I go to my favourite pillar near the stage I will find it occupied with you guys , cause I shared my technique with ya , in my previous Dispatch/email ! Soos Maria : )

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Happy , I am happy , the ball is on the roll now , got chicks cummin out of my ears : )

Dispatch No.16.

Well , as I said before , the pace is picking up.

‘A’ called 4pm and brought Marilyn with her. Now she was brought to my room before I went to Thailand. I asked ‘A’ , “why you bring” ? She said , “met her on the way”, that’s fair enough I suppose , but I can not place my order for Miss Siam and Bubbles in front of her can I ?

Well fella’s , why the hell I knocked back Marilyn before Thailand beats me. The only thing I can think of , she has the same effect on me as before ….. she is too sweet. Nice face , good height , round body but not sexy …. a gal so sweet , can not be carnal/sexy.

Marilyn is the one who was going to Manila to be trained as a Cultural Dancer. She did not go , she got cold feet (wise gal). Possibly cause I told her the truth as to what is going to happen to her once the Japanese Yakuza get their hands on her ? No doubt I gave her a different name before in earlier Dispatch , can’t remember , but I am lazy , not going back to look up old Dispatches and am now going to call her Marilyn , cause that is her real name anyway.

So , I have got this extra sweet girl sitting next to me with the right height and right amount of meat on the bone but not sexy. She’d be ideal for someone. Great wife material : )

I know what you guys are thinking . You are saying “Jesus Christ Thomas , your not going to knock this one back too are ya , you will never have a fuck if you keep this up”. Yeh , and your right.

So what do I do ? I have my cake and eat it too , that’s what I do.

I give Marilyn P100 (less than U$2) and tell her to return 9.30pm tomorrow night Thursday , come to SF Disco with me and maybe she will be lucky and get a guy (foreigner). This kind of girl (Marilyn) will not get in the way of my operation. It’s easy controlling an extra sweet girl (not so easy a ‘whore’ : ). I am taking her to SF as a ‘brother’ (pimp : ). I have now got the option tomorrow night of fucking her or a Sunflower ‘Sexy Dancer’. That’s if there aint too many of you guys there snatching the ‘Sexy Dancers’ : )

So , Marilyn leaves my room with P100 in hand. Then I give ‘A’ a tongue lashing for bringing shit the previous night. I talk in simple Filipino English that she would understand , viz : “you bring shame to me , the people at Front Desk will not respect me if you bring 100% prostitute to my room. And that other non prostitute girl was bloody fat” etc.

‘A’ says she has got a good one now . I say “yeh , but I am worried , cause yesterday you said you had a good one , but it was fat shit. Last night was fucked up , do not want to fuck up tonight too”. So give ‘A’ a plan as follows :

At 7-7.30pm tonight latest ‘A’ to bring “good one”. If I like , backtrack with her 9.30pm. because I might be interviewing Miss Sexy Dancer/Juella at 8-8.30pm. If I do not like “good one” I will tell ‘A’ then and there , then she goes and gets Miss Siam. I will fuck Juella another day.

Plan understood , ‘A’ leaves in a hurry to try and get ‘good one’ back to my room within 60mins. As I said , the pace is picking up : )

Sure enough ‘A’ returns within 60 mins with ‘good one’ ……….. who is not good at all. Body suitable , but face not. Rejection. Within seconds she’s out of my room , ‘A’ stays for me to explain Plan B …. Miss Siam.

‘A’ leaves to get Miss Siam , and soon after there is a tap on the door and its Juella’s girlfriend , the Dept Store girl (DS) , saying she can not contact Juella cause her cellphone was stolen by a snatcher. Someone boarded her Jeepney and took everyones personal belongings , including DS (Dept Store girl) bag with cellphone in it. Consequently she has no record of Juella’s long cell phone number , but alas Thommo does. Give DS a copy of the cellphone number and she promises to call her and give my Hotel number etc. Philippines is nice ……. gals chase you , or they help you chase another girl : )

In return , I am going to meet DS tomorrow night and show her how she can improve her internet profile. Apparently she is listed on ‘cherryblossom’ website (fishing for a husband). She helps me , I help her. Nice eyes , educated etc but not short time sex methinks. Girlfriend/wife material only : )

So, I sit here waiting for “Miss Siam” ….. juicy pussy , fingers sliding up and down my rib cage , eye to eye contact whilst having sex ….. way to go : )

And then , ‘A’ reports that Miss Siam is having her ‘monthly’ and will not be available for three days. At least she is honest about it and , in addition , a bonus , she is not pregnant : ) So , at this late stage of the night I asked ‘A’ to pull a rabbit out of the hat (late night Pizza) ………. “Bubbles” ……. ‘A’ tried , but it was already too late in the night. Possibly Bubbles tomorrow , when ‘A’ calls at 4pm ?

High attrition rate tonight fella’s : Juella did not call ; Miss Siam was unable to call ; Bubbles was out of reach and “good one” wasn’t suitable for my purposes. Two nights in a row without a chick. This can not continue.
I could hop in a taxi and pick up a f . . k at Hanna Valley/GoGo Bars/Street Walkers , wherever , but decided to wait until the next day , when I have the possibility of about three or four girls.

Marilyn is in the bag , she is just waiting for me to bang her. Bubbles should be locatable too. Juella is a long shot , seems she is difficult to locate nowadays. And Miss Siam will be ready in three days time , it seems. Quite a nice little harem. It’s good to have some ‘back up’ babes : )

“Back up babes”, way to go : )

Yeh , I can’t miss out on pussy tomorrow , plus bonus SF Disco and the Sexy Dancer Competition. Wonder how many of you guys will be at SF , trying to snatch my choice ? : )

Plus , we have ….. ‘W’ (waitress) , but think she is thinking boy/girlfriend stuff , and not quick poke : ) Might have to put her aside , got enough ‘fast’ babes on my books , time is running out , might be leaving for home (‘reality’) in about 9/15 days time. Depends , Saun and I are ‘wait listed’. Gotta unload/dump on as many chicks as possible before then : )

Good , we are coming home strong ! Tour started out slow , pace picked up , then Thailand , where it slowed down , now pace picking up again (Philippines).

Forgot to tell ya , got two more gals in the ‘Fridge’ , can pull them out anytime.

Met both of them three years ago via ‘A’. They were 18 year old High School kids then , now 21yr old mature bodied babes. First one is half Japanese , half Filipino (nice eyes) , we will call ‘J’ (for Jap). Three years ago , this one told me a sad but true story (had it verified by my 45yr ld ‘Secty’ , another non sex provider/helper I have not mentioned before). J’s story was almost identical to my childhood , hence empathy with her. Won’t tell ya that particular story , make ya cry , especially my childhood : )

So , I had a couple of beers in me at the time I met ‘J’ (3yrs ago) , and agreed to pay her College education (2yrs). And I did just that.

Never touched her when she was 18yrs and vulnerable (3yrs ago) , but , if I want to now , I can certainly touch her : ) Word has been passed on to me via ‘Secretary’ she is ready willing and able. But to tell you the truth , she doesn’t have to fuck cause I paid for her College education. That is the message from me. I am letting her know , there are ‘some’ decent people around (Am I a fool of a Monger ? : )

And then there is the second gal , who reminds me of Brazilian babes , cause she is a bit taller than average and has curly hair like the Brazilian girls : ) We will call her ‘B’. Three years ago , I gave her P5000 to help pay for tuition. She was a fellow student at same High School as ‘J’. Once again , I did not touch her cause she was only a high school ‘kid’ at the time.

Agent ‘A’ tells me , a year after I left , ‘B’ fell into the prostitution scene , and became a GRO at Infinity KTV , guys paying P5000 to fuck her short time. I suppose , this is because I did not sponsor her education like I did with ‘J” (can’t be all things to all people : ) ‘A’ says ‘B’ is now 2 months pregnant via a KTV customer and is also interested in meeting me. Two months prego , that sounds alright , no big stomach and boobs enlarging : ) Yeh , but the vibes aren’t so good with ‘B’. Need good vibes to bang a babe. The ‘rhythm’ vibes must be there , otherwise , ‘no way Jose’ : )

So , its girls coming out of my ears , so long as they don’t come out of my ass , all is well : )

The thing is , you can have too many girls , and then it gets difficult to manage , which in turn spoils ya vacation. My first choice usually goes to the quick fucks (Mongolian Maid an exception) who do not necessarily have boy/girlfriend/marriage on their mind.

This means it’s Bubbles , Miss Siam and ‘Marilyn’ yes.no ? : )

I am now wishing I did not mess up in my home country. Made a very bad biz decision about nine years ago. If I had not done that , I’d have enough cash flow today to whore tour 24/7 ….. 365 days of the year : )

As usual , please send donations to : Thomas c/- Juicy Lucy , Junquerra , Philippines : )

Cebu City Mayor Tomas Osmena knows me (joking) , he will pass your donations on.

Which reminds me , Tomas (my name sake) has apparently offered P20,000 ransom on the head of about 30/40 crims. There is a hit list provided by Police and so vigilantes are roaming around on motorbikes whatever , assassinating guys whilst they are asleep , playing pool , shopping etc. There have been a number of public assassinations in the last three days already , and not far from where I am staying too (creepy). Hope I am not on the hit list (sex reporter … unsavoury … kill : )

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Next day ‘A’ arrives 4pm with a provincial girl from Ormoc , so we will call her ‘O’. At first , when she walked into my room I thought “oh we have a ktv girl” , that is pretty ktv face. She sits down , can’t stop her provincial smile. Got a touch of ‘Red Indian’ (squaw) look about her , when she ties her hair at the back.

Yeh , cause she was so natural , giggly , smiley and there was nothing wrong with her face or body , I took her ST (Short Time) . At 7pm I have ‘DS’ coming for lessons on how to improve her profile on ‘cherryblossom’ website (fishing for husband) and get report whether or not she made contact with Miss Sexy Dancer … Juella. Gotta , then make a dash to SM and change money there, eat , then back in my room by 9pm to meet Marilyn. Busy schedule : )

Plus tomorrow 10am ‘A’ is coming with a skinny/slim babe with a models face. She says , “I know you do not like very slim , but this girl is so pretty I think you will want her”. I decide to inspect her , cause you never know. Always give them P100 ‘appearance’ (interview) money …. karma : )

Wish I had two cocks ……… getting busy : )

Back to O from the province , she turns out to be a real tiger. Hunger , is the main reason. She has no job and lacks confidence to get one. Her girlfriend is a GoGo dancer , half Australian , half Filipino , and so very popular with the punters , we will call her ‘Oz’. O said ‘Oz’ earns P800 on a bad night , P3000 on a good night.

I have a shower , come out with only a towel wrapped around me. Place O’s hand under the towel onto my cock. She plays with it ever so gently and then when its standing fully to attention , I slip towel off. Lay down on bed and let O , suck , caress , lick cock for one hour straight. This gal knows so much about licking the shaft , the balls etc that I query her on her expertise , cause she is from the provinces and isn’t supposed to know so much : )

She said her dancing girl friend told her , “if you want to make money you have to be able to suck cock”. So , following that advice , ‘O’ goes down town and buys illegal porno tapes , three of them , all blowjob tapes. Plays them , studies em continually , then practices on guys like me. I told her she was very good , she giggles and smiles. (Provincial girl).

Whilst she is tingling my rocket , I talk about all manner of subjects. Somehow that thrills me ,eg , I talk about : her previous singing career , and “did she suck previous boyfriends cock” (no didnt know anything about it then) , “how many guys she has practised on lately” (none or not many) , “when did she get the blow job tapes and start learning” (two months ago) etc. Sometimes she pauses , looks at me , answers question then back on the cock again. She caresses my balls , tummy , rib cage , hair around my balls etc ever so lightly. She is a thrill , and a surprise packet. Didn’t expect so much expertise from such a lovely provincial smiling face. So much for video tapes : )

Province girls know something too : ) What Phil gal does not know about sex ? Not many , I am sure. Physical folksy people , Filipinos.

“Being physical is being Filipino”

(Quote of the month … Author …. Thommo : ).

Finally , as I opened the door and she exited , felt sorry for her , such a nice girl having to suck a strangers cock to survive. By the way , fucked her also , excellent small pussy and perfect motion too. Told her I would get in contact with her via ‘A’ later on , take her to “Black Hole GoGo” and try and introduce her to owner/manager. There should be a prospect of a job there for her. This girl would be ‘punter popular’.

Gave her some advice if and when she gets to be a dancing girl , eg : “whilst dancing , look customer in the eye , and smile , you will be successful”. I tell ya , any guy who looks ‘O’ in the eye and does not fall for her lovely provincial smile is a hard man indeed : ) And anyone who takes her will be more than pleased !

P500 (less than U$10) and she’s out the door : )

It’s a hard , hard life.

So its , “Next please” (as in a Doctors Surgery : )

OK , so I am mildly pissed (code speak for : mildly ‘drunk’ , “San Mig light” is great ……. puts a smile on the dial , and doesn’t give ya a heavy hangover : )

Yeh , mildly pissed (7pm) waiting for DS to arrive , lessons on internet , then changing money , eating , taking ‘sister’ (Marilyn) to SF Disco.

Long night ahead of me , as usual , started drinking too early.

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DS did not come , think because I gave her the message loud and clear , I am not interested in her , I am interested in her friend Juella (Sexy Dancer). In the Philippines ‘Jealousy’ reigns. Not surprised if DS did not even try and contact Juella. Jealousy/envy , got in the way.

Was fed misinformation about changing travellers cheques at SM Mall. They only change cash dollars. Had a meal at Lighthouse , then back to my room and ‘A’ brought innocent Marilyn. My throat had deteriorated so much during the day and night , that I decided to dispense with going to SF Disco , stay home and bang Marilyn. The heavy pollution of Cebu City is making my throat unbearable. Using about four/five different medications to combat throat problem.

Banged Marilyn (all night) , she BJ’d in a sort of a way , not brilliant. Her sex was ok , some little whimpers of satisfaction (?) along the way. Shy , sweet girls are rarely good fucks and Marilyn was no exception. She was grateful for the P1000. It’s a case of ……. “Next please” : )

Pretty face (PF) is calling 10am this morning , six hours time (its 4am as I type this , Marilyn asleep on the bed , laptop illumination only , no lights on). PF is supposedly too skinny for my purpose but outrageously pretty , so I’d better check her out. I can always fuck her face , can’t I ? : )

Am going to slow down the pace , got too many gals coming to my room. Feel embarrassed with hotel management and fellow tenants. As the pilot says “we are now preparing to descend”. I will prepare to ‘descend’ …… return home , by slowing down the numbers of girls and requests to ‘A’ for same. Enough is enough. Starting to prepare for a soft landing back home.

By the way , saw bayuts (transsexual gays) at Kiwi Lodge today. Their customer (foreigner) did not dare come downstairs and dine with them. They had a snack and look around before they left the premises. One “he/she” with a particularly short mini skirt , showed a lot of leg. Owner of Kiwi seemed uncomfortable about their presence.

9am that morning , bought a telephone card , took the initiative and rang Juella’s number. Bullseye first up , Juella answered and seemed excited that her sponsor (me) was back in Philippines. Her girlfriend DS never mentioned my return to the Philippines. Jealousy/envy reigns : )

I ask Juella did she return to win dance comp at SF , she said no , that was the first and last time she went to SF Disco (when I met her) She now lives on Mactan Island and so I ask her to meet me at MB’s Tavern (Mactan) , but she does not know it. The fact that she only went to SF Disco to win dance comp and she doesn’t know MB’s Tavern , seems to indicate she is a good girl , hence the reason for weeping/crying when I shagged her. She is over that now and seems ready to boogie , as she suggested 5pm at Bo’s Coffee Shop right here in Cebu City for a meet. It’s a long way from Mactan to that Coffee Shop. She is keen. Only problem I’ve got, I can not remember what she looked like (face). She’s got great legs , I do not forget that , but 3 weeks down the track not confident I could identify her. Will get to Bo’s early , so she can identify me (‘hansum’ , who’d forget : )

If her face is right , she is girlfriend material. Long legs , personality and need for a Sugar Daddy to sponsor her education. Looks like we were meant for each other : )

Juella is calling 5pm and Pretty Face (PF) is now calling 7pm. Bubbles and Miss Siam are keen to meet me but my ‘book’ is full at the moment. Think I will settle on Juella , educated , personality , great legs and ‘vulnerable’ (student without a job : )

So I get to Bo’s 20 mins early , 2 mins later I spie an attractive babe. The other guys (Americano’s) at Bo’s spot her too. We all watch her progress towards us , and the she gives out with a big cheesy grin and heads straight for me. It’s Juella ! She had not forgotten me , but I was a bit vague about her. Well , she’s a real personality girl , 5’5” I’d say , nice clothes and a lady to boot. No wonder she cried the night I penetrated her : ) Fancy a classy girl like that being banged by a dirty old pervert like me : ) She explains she passed her exams , is in third year College , and her dream is to become a stewardess/hostie for Philippine Airlines. Imagine a typical attractive hostie , then you have got Juella. She’s made for it (stewardess).

She said she will “never forget” me etc , and I am “so kind”. I said , the reason you will never forget me is because I am so handsome. Filipino’s appreciate humour , she liked that one and used it on me , before we split. My throat is so sore I can hardly talk , so I split with promises of contacting her the following week when my health has improved. Don’t know if I will , she is too sweet , and doesn’t have any ‘whore’ blood running through her. A person can get too involved with a gal like Juella. Prefer hit and run. Will place her in the cooler/fridge for the time being and bang ‘A’s deliveries (pizza’s). A’s babes know why they come to my room = no complications : )

So its to Lighthouse Restaurant early , big feed (to help cold) and back to my room before 7pm for ‘A’ and pretty face (PF). Sorry Juella , Thommo is good for ST (Short Time) only , in her case 15 mins : ) Lighthouse closed , so go to alternative Restaurant of mine. Waitress working there with good bedroom body says she is resigning that night with no replacement job in sight. I offer to take her to three foreigner bars/restaurants that I know and intro her to the owner/s. She accepts , gives me her cellphone number. I’ll contact her next Monday/Tues to chaperone her to those places. Tell her she can bring girlfriend if she likes (might be better than her : ) OK , this is not a devious plan to bang the girl , just helping out , trust me fella’s.

These girls (all categories , waitresses/shop assistants etc etc) are just waiting to be plucked. For sure I could have a different girl every day if I set my mind to it , but fortunately I have ‘aged’ and thus do not have to have heaps of gals anymore : )

Waiting for PF (Pretty Face) , if too skinny will place order for Bubbles , but once again it might be too late for ‘A’ to contact her. Will see. PF and/or Bubbles tonight then Miss Siam tomorrow night should do. Will cancel Disco date (tomorrow night) with Elena and her girlfriend , just get ‘A’ to bring em to my room early afternoon , assess girlfriend , present Thai tea and then bang Miss Siam later in the same night.

Nice girls (Elena and girlfriend) ….. who needs them ? : )

I’m having a happy harmonious time in Cebu City. Think its got something to do with : 1. Contact ‘A’ 2. Personal experience (30yrs) 3. Ageing gracefully : )

OK this Dispatch is eight pages long , will park pen and report happenings re Pretty Face and/or Bubbles.

Number eighteen , on the way soon ………………… Thommo

Dispatch No.17.

The inside story …of an ageing deviate … continues ……..

----

So , Pretty Face was to call 7pm then I’d arranged for Bubbles if PF did not suit. What actually happened ?

Pretty Face is apparently too pretty for someone like me. For the second time in a row she did not front. Could not make contact with Bubbles , so quiet night. Told ‘A’ to bring Elena and girlfriend 2pm next day , present Thai tea to her and explain ‘cold’. Not interested in sitting out 6 hours of disco with two good girls , with no bang in sight.

So , the following actually happened … Elena did not front , gone to beach with family (Daddy etc) , Pretty Face fronted but looked far too young to me. Hate to tell ya how young she looked , got her out of the room real fast …. jail bait. Yeh , she was pretty , but dangerous. ‘A’ said she was 18yrs old , but that gal aint eighteen I can tell ya that much.

Next ‘promise’ from ‘A’ is a fresh but expensive girl. She has few kilometres (bangs) on her metre (pussy) , is good looking and knows what she is worth. We will call her ‘F’ (for fresh). Asking P2000 all night , and wants to go home 6am before all her neighbours are up out of bed. Doesn’t want to walk home 8/9am in the morning in front of all the neighbours. If she does that , they will know she has been up all night shaggin her brains out. P2 is double what I usually pay , but things have been so quiet lately I agree to ‘interview’ her at 7pm. If I don’t like her ‘A’ is going to bring Miss Siam at 9pm (P1000 and goes home 8/9am)

In addition , we are moving camp , leaving Cebu.

Told ‘A’ she has really let me down this trip … lacking in quality ‘merchandise’. ‘A’ says she has a friend in Cagayan de Oro (‘CO’) , who can organise quality non whores/semi whores. Gals who do not look or act like whores , but nevertheless are willing to sell themselves. Let’s call them ‘Apprentice Whores’ ( AW ‘s : )

So , within a few short days , ‘CO’ it is. I went on vacation to Thailand/Philippines to get away from routine , now in Cebu , I find myself slipping into a routine. Break the routine and shag some quality gals (CO). Way to go.

Even so , I am not overly optimistic of ‘A’s friends chances of producing one or two gems ex ‘CO’, before I catch the plane back home in a few days time. In fact this could be a tactic by ‘A’ to delay the inevitable ….. her suspension : ) But I have no hope , on my own. Need intermediaries (contacts/agents) to snare gems. When out an about today , saw some nice ones , but can’t approach them in public. Need ‘A’ to be with me and approach them on my behalf , but then I don’t like having ‘A’ around too much. Starts to make heavy going if I have to rub shoulders with ‘A’ more than I am already. The price one pays for ‘alternative pussy’. Going to a GoGo Bar , wherever is so much easier , but then so less exciting , especially if your mongering career stretches 30yrs like mine : )

Fussiness has its positive and negative side. It’s just the way I am , fussy/fastidious.

Now, I have just gone to the Front Desk for hot water , for herbal tea , for sore throat. And whilst there , thought this girl (at Front Desk) and all the other Front Desk staff must be intrigued when they see ‘A’ walk through the front door with yet another ‘interviewee’. They see all the ones I reject , cause it only takes 10 secs for me to abort interview and send them on their way. As the next ‘victim’ walks through the front door with ‘A’ , they must be saying to themselves , things like : “Will Thommo like this one”. And when they leave within 10 secs : “Why did Thommo reject that one” etc. A form of entertainment for Front Desk staff methinks. Anyway F Desk are in my pocket , with small souvenir gifts and friendly , gentlemanly behaviour towards them. I certainly do not look down on them as I see other foreigners doing.

For sure , there will be problems in going to ‘CO’. Problems like : I do not have ‘trained’ Front Desk , decent place to eat etc. But the life of a Monger was not meant to be easy , and so I must journey ever forwards to new frontiers and fight the fight , looking for new recruiting grounds and ‘fresh green grass’. For sure , if ‘CO’ and Agent ‘A’s contact (contact of the contact : ) , is any good , I will make sure I get that persons address , so that after I leave the Philippines I can begin to develop a relationship , using the P100 technique. That is , write from time to time to her with P100 inside the envelope. Keeping in contact is important cause Filipinos ‘wander’about a lot (move house). My total reliance on ‘A’ nowadays is not healthy or wise. And her knowledge that I totally rely on her is not good either.

It would be nice to have contact ‘A’ in Cebu City and a completely separate contact in Cagayan de Oro (CO). Next trip , I could bounce between the two cities. That’s my thinking at the moment. As you can see , I’m thinking “out aloud”. What I think about might not necessarily happen. This is the Philippines , after all , where making things happen is the exception , not the rule : )

As I type this out , its 7.25pm and no sign of ‘A’. My experience tells me ‘A’ either turns up a few mins early or on time , when she has something for me. When she fronts late , she fronts empty handed or with ‘unsatisfactory material’. At least I have ‘back up babe’ , “Miss Siam” who is a proven cock sucker and sexy gal , calling 9pm ….. or have I ? : ) ‘A’ has lost the plot , and when she does this , I find she can not turn things around. Hence the need for ‘CO’ and a back up Agent.

If no Miss Siam , I’m off on a recruiting tour of my own tonight ….. SF Disco , sore throat/cold or not. Been stuck in the room too much.

So , ‘A’ calls empty handed and with a ‘losers look’. She has lost confidence and fearful of what her employer Thommo is going to say. I find in these situations its no good pushing too hard , otherwise things only gets worse and so discuss with ‘A’ the ‘CO’ plans/strategies. We both need a dose of confidence , the diversion to ‘CO’ might be just what both of us need.

First and foremost , I need a ‘bang’. Pipedreams about ‘CO’ can wait : ) If no Miss Siam , its SF Disco tonight and folks like Mousey. Thank the Lord for Freelancers , and …. ‘pay for play’ !

10pm ‘A’ reports back that Miss Siams sister does not want falang/foreigner/s fucking her sister anymore. ‘Siam’ has had her mens’ , not prego , so play safe and not fuck with falang/foreigner anymore ? I will never know what the real reason for the sister pulling the plug is. Maybe sis thinks I am too old for ‘Siam’ ? She’d be right there : ) Goodbye Miss Siam. Hello Miss ……………… (its endless , replacements there are a-plenty : )

At 10.15pm ‘A’ heads off into the dark yonder to try and secure elusive Bubbles. If he snares her , think I will take her to SF Disco , been in the room too much lately. I take my hat off to ‘A’ , she goes here there and everywhere trying to ‘discover’ something for me , but alas on this trip she has not been overly effective , hence the need for me to have another Agent (Z) and another base to work from ….. Cagayan de Oro (CO).

‘A’ returns , empty handed. After waiting six days for me to bang her , Bubbles has returned home to Bohol. ‘A’ looks so sad , she genuinely likes me and knows too well , she has failed. OK , so I am not hard on ‘A’ and tell her to return tomorrow 4pm , but not with any chick , sick of ‘B’ grade pizza’s (chicks). Told her to call with a report only tomorrow , no chicks.

Affirmitive action. Time for affirmative action. I am independent by nature , but am a great believer in the need for ‘intermediaries’ (Agents/contacts) in SE Asia. Perhaps I believe too much in it ? Are intermediaries a substitute for ‘self worth’ , confidence to score on ones own ? When younger I didn’t need intermediaries , now I think I do. Am I making a major tactical error here ?

To Sunflower Disco (SF) , no Mousey sighted. I see a 9 and an even better 8.75 hanging around an Americano at the Bar. It took some time to realise I was looking at Bayuts/Katoeys. Perhaps the Americano picked up on the same , cause he left about 30 mins later. I tell you , 5% of the gals at SF were bayuts/katoeys. Apart from the good looking bayuts/katoeys , I see only regular looking girls. I am sitting at a small high round table on a swivel chair between the bar and the ground level lounge chairs. Below my level , in the ‘Lounge’ chairs I see two babes , one a 7 , the other a 9. I ask waiter serving me , he says : “regular customers , VIP”. I interpret that as gals with money and not needing Americano. A little further on I observe a gal , immediately below and to the left of me (sitting at lounge seats). Classy face , soulful/decent , but no money. We will call her CF (Classy face). Then pinoy (filipino guy) sits next to her. This happens often , she is sitting by herself , smiles at me , then pinoy appears and sits next to her. Frustrating. So , I go back to the VIP girls but they are ignoring me. Wherever I look bayuts/katoeys are grinning at me , and they are good looking ones too. Tonight the best looking babes are quite clearly the bayuts/katoeys. Perhaps I will ‘bang a bayut’ yet ? : ) Yeh , they are as good as anything you will see in Thailand , without the Thai katoey aggression. Filipino bayuts/katoeys are relaxed by comparison , not aggressive/cheeky like the Thai version.

So , time ticks by , and finally CF (Classy face) taps the pinoy/guy sitting next to her and says something …. he turns around looks straight at me , and I give the ‘tudo bom’ brazilian thumbs up to him and point at gal next to him , saying in effect , “the babe next to you is tops”. He immediately gets up , steps forward , shakes me by the hand and asks me where I am from etc. I tell him “the lady you are with is nice”. He says that lady is his sister and that the group of them are just about to go home.

By the way , his voice sounds gay. All the gays are out tonight : ) “Sister” is a loose term and so he might mean he is her ‘security’ for her , she is not necessarily his filial sister. Girls in the Phil like to fraternise with gays. They are intrigued and amused by guys behaving like women , methinks , plus the gays do not want to screw them (exceptions prevail).

I offer to take the group home in a taxi , he explains , not necessary , he is exporting to Taiwan etc. That is , “we have money , we are independent and don’t need charity”. I pull out my notebook and pen write down my address , get him to write down his name and cellphone , they depart. My victim (Classy Face/CF) does not look at me , but she is grinning. By not looking at me as she departs , she is in effect saying 1. I am a good girl , my eyes do not wander & 2. “gotcha” : )

Most of the time I think I am the Spider and they are the Fly , but not so in this case, think CF was clever , and executed a very sophisticated ‘spider and fly’ routine on me …….. Gotcha ! : ) In retrospect , think she was purposefully left on her own , on a number of occasions , entice me to come forward and ask her for a dance. I didn’t realise what was going on at the time.

So I leave SF Disco go home , got my quarry (or my quarry has got me). Think I will contact ‘J’ (Jap gal I sponsored) tomorrow. Gotta get some ‘class’ into this tour , before I return home. CF is romance , J is a bang ,spent Pesos 45,000 on J’s College fees. Time for her to pay the tab/chit ……. ‘d’ reckoning’ .. ? .. yes/no ? : )

Is all this Agent/Contact stuff necessary ?

Right now I really don’t care , cause I am lazy by nature , plus I am old , and so its harder/impossible nowadays to approach good young ladies in public when you’ve got an ageing face like mine : ) No point of going on the Internet either , my pic would not ‘make the cut’ : ) Cosmetic Surgeon , here I come , and yes , I am serious …. in the next 12 months I am going to have a face job. Up to now , got away with my age , but nowadays I believe my face ain’t good enough : ) So , cosmetic surgery it is , including penis enlargement (joking about that one , but not joking about face job).

So , thinking about bayuts and the quality ‘J’ girl who was recruited via a bayut/gay three years ago … I ask ‘A’ (who called early , 10am by mistake) to get that bayut and “lets get some good looking babes” , sick of the regular stuff being brought to my room , “I want something special to remember my trip by”.

‘A’ informs me that a girl friend of hers we will call ‘Y’ has contacts with good looking girls but they will only shag (f . . k) short time , will not stay overnight , cause they do not want their neighbours seeing them returning home in the mornings , that is , staying out overnight (= selling it). Good looking good/bad girls like to shag in the day time or early evening short time , so no one finds out what they are doing (shagging/fucking for money).

Off goes ‘A’ to recruit potential Agent ‘Y’ , and tell her what is required , plus Y & A are to call 4pm for a briefing from me. Hopefully by 8pm ‘Y’ has a good looking ST gal for me. This will involve two commissions though. I will have to keep some cash flow going ‘A’s way , but bulk of commissions will go Y’s way from now on. If ‘Y’ is successful this could be the beginning of the end of my relationship with ‘A’. Even so , I will still go to ‘CO’ with ‘A’ and hook up with potential ‘CO’ Agent .

Will now defer ‘J’ girl , cause she always tries to unload her problems on to me and everyone else. She has had an unhappy child hood and still carries that baggage to this day. I do not go on vacation to get involved in some gals ‘problems’. So , will keep ‘J’ in the fridge for a little longer , and only pull her out if I reach ‘desperado level’ , which to tell you the truth , is not far away : )

Persistence and tenacity is required when desiring anything above the ordinary. I will keep persisting until I ‘crack the code’ , that is , make a breakthrough via ‘Y’ or via new prospect in ‘CO’. We might call these last two ‘double agents’ , cause they are the agents (‘A’) agent : )

Now off to a Restaurant (name with held to protect the innocent : ) to have some fun. I will explain as follows : One of the girls at this Restaurant teasingly asked me on more than one occasion “where is my Christmas present” , even though it’s a long time since Xmas 2004. Filipino’s have a sense of humour and like to play games too. So after about the third visit and still the same request for ‘xmas present’ I decided to have some fun.

Got out a small bell I bought in Mae Sai three years ago ; a cute Chiangrai key ring also bought three years ago and one of the last of my souvenir gifts. Took them to National Book store and had them gift wrapped separately with little ribbons on top of each package , plus cute card attached on the outside (U$1.50 total , everything Robinsons) , three gifts in all. Attached to each 50c gift and inside the packages was a P100 bill. On the gift cards I wrote stuff like “Winner belated Xmas Gift” ; First Runner Up …..” and so on. Also “Thommo , proud Sponsor of Belated Xmas Gifts” etc. Took the names of all the waitresses plus cook = 15 girls in all.

Left the wrapped three gifts at the Restaurant yesterday so the girls could ponder what was inside (tease). Told the girls I would be back tomorrow to draw the names out of the hat and present the gifts to the winners. Warned them the gifts were not worth much , don’t want to get their hopes to get up too high : )

For me , this kind of stuff is fun , plus the girls like smiley fun loving foreigners , and so it will not do my reputation any harm at the Restaurant. I have fun , and for P500 (U$9 approx) total cost I might score a cute waitress later on (fiend : ) with the good karma this ‘gift giving’ exercise produces. Hence the reason for not telling you the name of that Restaurant ….. that particular Restaurant is mine ! : ) All the Restaurants , shops , department stores offer a harvest of girls …. try em !

When I walk in to that Restaurant this morning the gals will be smiling , cause they know the day of judgement has arrived …. Winners announced : ) Gives them some fun , in a job that pays meagre wages , so meagre their monthly salary would not even cover me for 12hours expenditure on any one vacation day.

So I go to the Restaurant and the ‘raffle’ is a hit , gals enjoyed the fun nature of it , not sure they will be so happy when they open the packages though : ) Return from the Restaurant and voila ! Bubbles is in the Lobby with her Auntie and a sister I had not met before.

Misinformation again. ‘A’ said Bubbles was back in Bohol. Of course Bubbles asks , “where is my Christmas gift”. This is a fun tease routine of Filipinas , they are not serious about it , just teasing. Gave Bubbles some peanuts P200 so the three of them can have a ‘day out’ , eat something , before going home. Tell her come 8pm-9pm tonight , she agrees. This sister who I have not met before , seems surprised and concerned at the thought of her sister ‘Bubbles’ sleeping with me. Is it because her sister Bubbles has a boyfriend in Bohol or is it because she thinks Bubbles is not supposed to sleep with strangers ? Didn’t think too much of it at the time.

Now, as you recall Bubbles is bubbly and a great companion out of bed , but she was not so hot ‘in bed’ last time I had her. We’ll see if she has improved her in-bed performance tonight. Doubt it , think she has got a boyfriend in the background. As she left , I said “wow legs” , she’s got good legs , this one.

So ‘Y’ is still important , but I will have to delay her pizza delivery , until the next day. “A bang/bubble in the hand is worth two in the bush” : ) ‘A’ calls 4pm and tells me ‘Y’ will be calling 7pm with her first delivery. I tell her to cancel ‘Y’ until 4pm the following day , cause I’ve now got Bubbles calling 8pm-9pm this night.

Cancelling the very first visit/delivery of ‘Y’ is risky , I might lose credibility with her. But a 7pm delivery when Bubbles is coming at 8-9pm is also risky. This is when cellphone contact with Bubbles would be handy , but I do not have her (Aunties) cellphone number. If I was truly professional I would have her number , but I leave just about everything to ‘A’ (lazy : )

Ate at Restaurant , girls happy with their belated Chrissy presents , even though they cost next to nothing. Karma at that place is now very good. Most foreigners who visit the Philippines/Thailand do not exhibit a sense of humour , they are too morose/serious. Filipinas in particular , warm up very quickly to a foreigner who smiles and jokes.

Next stop , Shoe Mart Shopping Mall (“SM”) to check out cellphone prices and ascertain potential for pick ups. As reported in one of the first Dispatches , I think there are too many teeny boppers at SM. That is , girls in the 13-17yrs age range.

I found three Spiders sitting at the same front table of French Baker. No hope , Filipinas are interested if your by yourself , but they do not have the confidence to approach two or more foreigners. The ideal situation is two or three girls approaching one foreigner by himself. This way the girls have confidence and none of them can be branded ‘prostitute’ by fellow countrymen passing by , viz , when 2/3 chat with one foreigner all is well. When I returned to F Baker 30mins later , there was only one Spider (Monger) left and he was in his fifties. What’s the point. The passing girls are 13-17yrs old in the main. Very much a minority in the 18-25 age bracket. He’s only perving , not ‘Spidering’ : )

For those interested in finding F Baker , found a better way of locating it. Get taxi to drop you off at “SM” No.3 entrance. I think they call it “Gate.3”. When entereing the building and straight ahead of you , walk up one flight of steps , turn hard left at top of these stairs and walk along until you come across French Baker on your left. Some chance of scoring if your young , next to no chance if your in your 50’s or older , methinks. Much better prospects for maturer babes at Ayala , especially at the pick up spots mentioned in an earlier Dispatch of mine.

For the time being , please ignore all 'click here' links to the mostly non girlie pics we placed on host site. Host site dumped us. We have yet to find a suitable replacement.

You know , I think pick up possibilities are also good at Robinsons food court (basement) , Fuente Osmena , lunch time in particular. Even so , in reality you have to move around all Shopping Malls , Department Stores and maybe you will get lucky. No one Mall/Dept Store will provide the girl of your dreams. Move around , and whilst doing so you are getting some exercise , and you might bump into a cutie. Nothing will happen sitting in your Hotel room : )

It’s much , much better if you have an ‘Agent’ with you , who approaches on your behalf , babe of your choice. Much better than prowling by yourself. A Filipina will talk to a stranger Filipina who approaches her (viz your Agent) much easier than a stranger male foreigner (viz yourself) , believe me. Only a whore will talk to a stranger foreigner who approaches her in public. Exception - if you’re a Tom Cruise look alike : )

So , here I sit at my laptop tapping this out waiting for Bubbles , who is supposed to call 8pm-9pm. Its already 10.20pm and no sign of her. Has this sister of hers , who I had never met before got in the way of things ? Or was P200 too much , and so they are not ‘hungry’ any more ? The bubble has burst , I do not suffer such slack efforts , Bubbles is no more. I will not wait for her ever again. Tomorrow its Agent ‘Y’. I cancelled the date with ‘Y’ for Bubbles. Hope ‘Y’ was able to handle the cancellation/loss of face.

Yes , ‘Y’ hopefully calls tomorrow with her first pizza delivery. Then Agent ‘A’ calls 10am the following morning to see what happened with ‘Y’. If ‘Y’ doesn’t bring something special then I know I am in deep trouble in respect of getting something of quality before my tour concludes , and head home. Only chance after ‘Y’ is the yet to be tested Agent in Cagayan de Oro , at the end of this week.

The attrition level is high. This is nothing new when working with Agents , it has always been high. One has to have lots of prospects and patience to survive via the ‘Agent’ method.

Lots of guys would say “stuff that Agent crap , I’d prefer a no hassles “BeerBar/GoGo” girl whatever. I can understand that. To each his own. But for me its either non whores/semi whores not formally employed in the sex industry , or nothing. Currently it looks like ‘nothing’. Typical whores do not appeal to me anymore.

Yes , you can have a girl friend experience with a GoGo or Beer Bar girl. It is possible. But I prefer to stick with my ‘Agent’ approach. You have not seen the girls I’ve got via Agent/s (Intermediaries) in the past …… I have : ) and most importantly I have boinked em : )

I am stubborn by nature. Many times I think of myself as ‘dumb stubborn’ ,cause I stick with something even though its clear to all and sundry I am not having any success. Once my stubbornness kicks in , there is no way of shaking it off. Right now , the possibility is that I will return to my country without having banged one Filipina (Philippines) superchick. Karaoke Cutie was a nice one , but haven’t had anything like her in the Philippines yet. My stubbornness requires me to miss out , if necessary : )

Now I’m thinking of provincial gal ‘O’ and the way she serviced my shaft (prick). She was a good boink too. For sure if Agent ‘Y’ fails , Agent ‘A’ will be told 10am the following day to bring pizza ‘O’ quickly. I’m getting awfully hungry (randy).

Yeh , got off my butt and walked around SM & Robinsons yesterday. Whilst things are quiet , will do that again. Might just bump into something nice : ) First stop … Ayala , then I might try down town , same place where they are assassinating all those crims.

This Dispatch is now seven pages long on my laptop , but I will not leave you in the lurch. Will hang in until ‘Y’ has called , if she does at all , and report to you what happened with her.

Well , I am now losing my cool , getting angry ‘n frustrated. It’s 4.45pm and ‘Y’ has not called , which means she is most probably not calling at all. Slack , Filipinos are slack. Either ‘A’ was slack in getting ‘Y’ to my room or ‘Y’ is just simply slack.

That cellphone number gay ‘brother’ (SF Disco) gave me is not working. Tried many times over two days , not working.

Add to that , plans for Cagayan de Oro (CO) have to be cancelled. Philippine Airlines (PAL) do not fly there from Cebu City , neither do Cebu Pacific airlines. Only a mickey mouse airline made up of former PAL pilots called Spirit of Asia using a small plane. Don’t trust small planes , especially in Philippines , and especially when owners are most probably under funded for maintenance etc. A boat takes 22 hours to get to CO. Tsinumu possibilities and 22 hrs , bugger that. Cagayan de Oro is now off the list , bugger. What the hell to do , fight or flight ? Think its flight ….. to Davao City , which I have had some experience with before. Its Monday , will try a few tricks of my own , eg ‘J’ the half Filipina/Japanese gal I sponsored through College three years ago. She is the only quality one I know , even though she is carrying some ‘baggage’.

Jesus ‘A’ is going to get a tongue lashing from me …. incompetent , totally incompetent ! Then there is Sexy Dancer Competition on Thursday night , to Davao City , and free of ‘A’ , Friday a.m. Try and make contact with Miss BJ Hall of Fame (Davao) , but think she married and went to USA. Need to develop a Contact/Agent in Davao City , and most importantly need to get a bang or two. Time is slipping away , my plane for home leaves in a few days. Still Wait Listed , not sure when I am actually leaving the Philippines.

.............................."to Davao City , and free of ‘A’ , Friday a.m.

Try and make contact with Miss BJ Hall of Fame (Davao) , but think she married and went to USA".

Miss BJ Hall of Fame (opposite).

Well , there are more good looking babes in Thailand. Perhaps if I made valiant efforts re Thai language , I could get those Thai ‘Refrigerators’ to loosen up ? Philippines does not have the ambience , good food and ‘charm’ of Thailand. If I came to grips with the Thai language I might have better experiences (of the sexual kind : ) in that part of the world ? Also I’d have to get over the mental barrier re Massage babes , eg , Sayuri in Chiangmai has some good lookers that I should really impregnate.

The Philippines has only a few days to come good , otherwise I will downgrade it for my next trip overseas. It’s now 5pm and no ‘Y’. It’s not hard to see why the people here are poor , when they get an opportunity to ‘deliver’ and make money , they don't.

Then ‘A’ comes through the door with a College Student and her elder sister in tow. Student is a nice girl , pretty face but once again , skinny legs. ‘A’ is getting closer to the mark now , but still bringing skinny legged girls to my room. Soos Maria ! The student and her sister leave , gave them 5 mins of my time , including advice on how to make money for school fees , and the importance of education etc.

Once they have gone , ‘A’ then tells me ‘Y’ did not come because she is “ashamed”. She did not have the required talent to bring at 4pm and was too ashamed to come empty handed. Maybe she thought I’d fuck her instead ? : ) So , I tell ‘A’ to go and fetch ‘Y’ , and that it is important for me to develop a relationship with ‘Y’. If she likes me she will find the ‘talent’. ‘A’ agrees with my logic.

I tell ‘A’ I will give ‘Y’ small souvenir gifts both from my country and from Thailand (total cost - U$2.50 approx : ) , plus some cash eg P200 to kick start her relationship with me. I also said ‘Y’ can bring girlfriend along and we go to SF Disco , an opportunity for ‘Y’ to get to know me a bit better. ‘A’ agrees , all my ideas are appropriate to get ‘Y’ up and running (delivering Pizzas).

‘A’ leaves with great enthusiasm and confident she can bring ‘Y’ to my room immediately. Yet more frustration ? Time will tell : )

Oh , and forgot to tell ya , ‘A’ reckons she has a top babe but this babe will cost P1500 short time. Might see her tomorrow. Getting desparate , normally pay P1000 all night , now willing to pay P1500 ST for a top babe. Money talks , especially in a country where there is none : )

This Dispatch is now ten pages long. Will park pen and tell ya what happened in 48 hrs time.

…………… Private Thommo (demoted due to lack of ‘action’ at d’ Front : )

Dispatch No.18.

The inside story …of a frustrated deviate … continues ……..

----

Towards the end of my last Dispatch I said the following :

“A’ leaves with great enthusiasm and confident she can bring ‘Y’ to my room immediately. Yet more frustration ? Time will tell” : )

Well , two hours down the track and no ‘A’ or ‘Y’. The end is nigh.

It’s too late for me to dash back to Chiangrai and offer my hand in marriage to the Mongolian Maid : ) Anyway , T of Chiangrai emailed me and said , not long after I left , MM resigned from her job at Lobo GoGo and returned to her parents in the Mountains.

So , all I can do is play it cool , hang in here , in the Philippines ….. until my plane leaves for home.

Apart from the frustrating sex scene , its been an enjoyable tour. Perhaps I have past my ‘use by date’ and should hang up my saddle. Leave it to others to carry on the good work ?

Another 30mins later ‘A’ taps on the door and enters with two babes , both of them good , one especially good. Both from Butuan (Mindanao) They arrived in Cebu City eight days ago with P2000 each to enrol at UV (University of Visayas). Staying with friends/relations. They are provincial fresh , especially the ‘target’ one , who looks Chinese to me , so we will call her ‘C’. I have been looking for a gal like ‘C’ the whole trip ….. Carnal , this babe is carnal. I get an erection just talking to her : ) She grins like a Cheshire Cat all the time , full of innocence and the right body. Little does she know what is going to hit her tonight.

This kind of girl makes me feel extra sexy , and consequently she is going to get an extra working over , especially cause I haven’t had a fuck for a couple of days , only frustration. My cock will be disinclined to withdraw from her pussy once it gets in. Of course Bubbles looked like a good prospect before I entered her but in retrospect was a little bit of a disappointment. This girl ‘C’ is too generous with her smiles to be a slack fuck … yes/no ?

So that’s all I can type since she arrived. She’s had a shower and sitting next to me with only a towel wrapped around her. Time for me to shower and service her.

Next morning , report : Yes she was no slack fuck or suck. In fact it was sad in a way that she was such a good fuck. She could not hold on to the ‘innocent’ appeal she originally had for me and fuck like that at the same time : ) What happens with her is ……… she is initially all smiley , innocent and shy , but once the cock enters her she is off and running , whimpering and moaning with pleasure. In fact I had to ask her to turn down the volume (whimpering/moaning) as the neighbours would hear. I like my sex to be private , but when a girl starts whimpering and moaning like she did , it is no longer private. Others can hear what we are doing.

Being a respectful girl , she turned down the volume (whimpering moaning) but then I realised I’d most probably spoiled some of the fun , should have let her go for it and holler as much as she liked. Even so , my cock did not want to exit and she did not want to stop , so we had some good sessions , low volume whimpering/moaning , with regular but tasty blow jobs thrown in along the way.

There is no doubt this girl can suck and fuck her way through University , no doubt at all. Perhaps I should write a reference to that effect ? She could show it to the University Chancellor , if and when she gets behind in her school fees. After reading my reference the Chancellor would be more inclined to give her time to pay … yes/no ?

For example :

“Chancellor University of Visayas :

The bearer of this testimonial is one ‘C’. I had the pleasure of fucking her during my brief stay in Cebu City. I have had many a moll in my time , and tell ya’ ‘C’ can suck and fuck with the best.

I am confident she will have no trouble at all , sucking and fucking her way through your University”.

Yours Irreverantly ……

Thomas

c/- The Clock Tower.

Cebu City (Phil)

Patient waiting for Doctor Thommo

and his infamous 'tonsil test' (bbbj).

Patient given all clear

and thus later returns to her studies (University of Visayas).

----

Jokes aside , once anyone fucks her the first time he will want her again , but not me , the perennial butterfly. I only know one thing ‘hit and run’. Gotta keep moving forward , forever searching for fresh green grass.

C was a good girl ‘cause she sort of made up for my frustration of waiting for something to happen. The sex ‘C’ and I had will hold me over until I meet the next ‘victim’. Yep , I am a butterfly and will request ‘A’ to deliver more. There is never any rest for ‘A’. She has to keep coming up with new ones all the time. I like variety/change , and I like ‘hit and run’. ‘A’ earns her money ? : )

After having such a nice clean out with C I will most probably change my plans a little. Not so much frustration in my body now , can sit back and relax for a day or two. Will try again to contact ‘CF’ (Classy Face ex SF Disco and ‘gay’ brother). After such nice sex I’d have some patience for a nice girl like ‘CF’. Even nice girls fuck , especially in the Philippines , only difference is ya have to do some ‘courting’. Just takes longer that is all , and I don’t have much time now for that , but as a fun project wouldn’t mind meeting her a time or two and assessing whether I can bang her before my plane leaves for home.

OK , need one or two more good babes and then I can classify this tour a success. Currently the tour is in an ok category only. Need a ‘gwapa’ , sexy good looker , to walk through my door , then I will say ‘mission accomplished’.

And you may ask , how is Saun going ? He has had even less babes than me , but a couple might be considered better than mine , but still no ‘knockout babes’. He needs cosmetic surgery too , including a penis enlargement : ) Possibly the penis shrinks with age ? He reckons the pussies seem a tad bigger on this trip : ) Of course , if you get the girls really excited the vagina opens up more. Perhaps Saun is getting them too excited ? : )

OK , I will re-assess finances , and then if satisfactory get a quote for return ticket to Davao , see what new Agent ‘Y’ delivers 4pm today , then I will know where I am at. Miss China has given me time to sit back and relax , until the next ‘prey’ innocently walks through my door : )

Finances checked , but still not sure whether or not I should go to Davao. That place is of limited value to me.

Agent ‘A’ arrived not long after C (Butuan) had exited (10am) , with story of a good looker 7pm. I agree to ‘interview’ her. Also ‘A’ has a contact who can deliver good lookers for a price , but ‘A’ said this contact is likely to cut ‘A’ out of the action once she meets me. Even so , this new contact will call with ‘A’ , 10am tomorrow morning for an ‘interview’ and assessment. For the time being we will call this babe ‘CP’ (College Pimp).

She is a so called ‘high class pimp’ supplying girls to wealthy Filipinos. Most of her girls come from the South Western University. You see , College girls from poor families need money to pay school fees too. The advantage of College girls is … they don’t have whore written all over their face and they behave like regular ladies , not whores. They only fuck sometimes , not all the time (exceptions prevail) and so are popular with discerning predators. Myself I prefer not to fuck them , it smacks of exploitation , but they are the ones readily available in this College City and so one has to adapt and take advantage of their willingness to ‘play for pay’. Importantly , they offer the bonus of having some education and brains. For sure you get the ‘girl next door’ feel when you fuck them. I know , I’ve had some in years gone by.

I told ‘A’ to tell all the girls I have had so far (viz , Bubbles , Siam , C etc) that … “Thommo has gone to Davao for two weeks”. That is , it’s time to clean out the shelves and start all over again from scratch. Only going to bang new girls from this point on. ‘Y’ calls at 4pm but I am not hopeful of quick results with her. She has got a lot of learning to do before she brings the right merchandise. By the time ‘Y’ is fully trained (if she goes the distance) I might send ‘A’ into retirement ?

So the team is growing. Now have ‘A’ , ‘Y’ and ‘CP’. No doubt the beautiful babes will start coming forward , now that I am running out of cash : ) Will need to be selective. A small number of superchicks will do , even one will do : )

As usual , I’m getting ahead of myself , have not had one Filipino Superchick in approx four weeks , only one Thai briefly … Miss Karaoke of Chiangmai : )

It’s 5pm and no sign of ‘Y’. Filipinos have a hard time ‘delivering’. They also do not realise its important to call , even if empty handed. I told ‘Y’ just that yesterday , but so far ‘Y’ has not called. Small gifts , P200 cash , very poor girl , but still no motivation.

Filipinos lack the aggression/drive of us Westerners. That’s why they make such friendly folksy people and that’s one , but only one , of the reasons they remain poor .. … insufficient ‘aggression’.

Tried to contact that waitress I offered to help , but cant get through (cellphone number). Tried to contact CF (ex SF Disco) for the sixth time in three/four days and could not get through (cellphone number) Whats the use of them having cellphones if people can not get through ? Theoretically the cellphone strategy would be good for recruiting babes , but in effect , so far , two out of three numbers given me have been non functional. I am using a standard phone (at my accom) to contact them , perhaps if I had a cellphone and sms/message them I’d have more success ?

‘Y’ never called , bloody hopeless. Did ‘A’ stop her ? Did ‘A’ think ‘Y’ might take bread off her table ? Maybe that is what happened ? I tell ‘A’ to bring 7pm beauty to Idea Italia Coffee Shop (Ayala) as she is reluctant to come to my room initially. She arrives with ‘A’ and sister. Sitting at the table she looked attractive enough , but when we got up I could see she was too thick about the waist and too heavy in the thighs , in effect , she was Filipino overweight. Something you’d see in the West with young babes heading towards ‘Baby Jumbo’ (Elephant) status , viz , thick waist and heavy thighs. No way Jose. She has no hope of getting me. I can be thick in the waist and heavy in the thighs cause I am the buyer. The seller can not afford to be overweight , especially in slim Philippines (or Thailand for that matter).

I am quite sure I am being conned from time to time by ‘A’. Also she doesn’t listen to me. The last time she brought a gal to me with a thick waist I pointed that out to her. She didn’t listen or listened but didn’t learn and has now brought yet another babe with a thick waist to me.

10am tomorrow morning ‘A’ is supposed to be calling with ‘CP’ but will ‘A’ do a similar job she did on rival Agent ‘Y’ ? Will not be surprised if CP does not front , cause ‘A’ will tell her something like “Thommo does not want to see you now”.

Reckon ‘A’ realised introducing ‘Y’ and ‘CP’ will take bread from her table , had second thoughts and then made sure firstly ‘Y’ did not front with merchandise and reckon she will do the same with ‘CP’. So , I am locked in with an Agent/Contact that can not deliver me a single Superchick ?

Perhaps when I go home I will implement a devious scheme of mine which involves the Internet. The ‘Agent’ way has been too frustrating and not one superchick has been netted in four weeks (Philippines). The cost of the Agent (taxis ; time etc) and the vacation time wasted waiting in my room for non delivery or unsatisfactory deliveries , has now made this trip of doubtful quality sex wise.

My Internet technique will be basically dishonest. Desperate times require desperate measures : ) One thing for sure , it should be a lot more efficient and a lot cheaper via the Internet. Yes/no ?

If , over a one year period , I organise it properly , I should have heaps of gals waiting for me on arrival in Philippines : ) Reckon if I bed 10% of the ‘applicants’ , I will be doing alright.

----

I’m getting weary of ‘A’s stories , the expense of taxis ‘A’ going here and there and not one single superchick in four weeks. For sure , since 1998 I have not had one superchick via ‘A’ or any other intermediary for that matter. Pre Internet days ‘Agents’ were the way to go , nowadays they are not so effective in respect of quality babes.

New Intermediary :

Gotta go techo , get on Internet , buy a cellphone. The new ‘Agent’ (intermediary) for me is the Internet and cellphone.

Combination of old (Agent) and new (Internet) is now necessary. Relying solely on human contacts such as ‘A’ is frustrating , inefficient and expensive. Many taxi fares clocked up by ‘A’ , many ‘stories’ , late arrivals , and empty handed arrivals etc.

The cellphone should help improve communications with the ‘target’ and speed up the snaring of ‘fish’. Of course there will be problems with the Internet too , my age being the biggest one (pic of me) , plus more time is needed before the girls reply to me and then actually meet me , and then even more time before I can convert them into ‘play for pay’ girls. At least ‘Agent’ type girls know why they come to my room : )

So , bought a cellphone P3000 second hand. Liked the colour , shape , weight , brand (Nokia) and the price. One months Warranty , sufficient for a short ‘cellphone/internet’ survey methinks.

Current situation is , CP (College Pimp) did not front either at 10am or 4pm , and as you know ‘Y’ did not front. ‘A’ is to pass on my cellphone number to both of them in a last ditch attempt to get them coming to me. Whether she passes on my number is another thing.

Agent ‘B’ :

Yeh , and ageing Agent ‘B’ paid a call , all excited , saying he had spotted a new dancing girl downtown that I would like. Tonight will be only her second night in the dancing girl/sex trade. He has already ‘interviewed’ and assessed her and says she is ideal ‘merchandise’ for my purposes , including very pretty , innocent , and fresh. So I agree to meet him downtown at 9pm. A change of Agents will do no harm , although in truth ‘A’ has delivered some tasty ‘victims’ , in amongst the inappropriate ones , but no Superchick. Agent ‘B’ has a better understanding of what is a “Thomas Superchick” , and has delivered numerous ones to me in the ‘good old days’.

Before Agent ‘B’ , I am going to join an Internet site short term , and throw out the fishing line. Got limited time left in the Philippines , but might learn something before I catch my plane back home. Old ways not producing sufficient anymore , gotta experiment with new ways.

Five mins later , Agent ‘Y’ fronts with a nice ‘girl next door’ type. She’s got the height , curly hair (I like) , but her face is average and her legs too slim. So , rejection.

Cebu City (Phil)

Nice eyes ,

but alas one of many 'rejects'.

Her crime ?

Legs too slim.

(Thommo needs Counselling re 'thin legs' , and possibly other matters : )

Cebu City (Phil)

Successful 'applicant'

Why ?

Legs are just right : )

(Re pic : Lost a lot of sharpness through scanning.

Next trip digital camera , and shots uploaded direct to this page).

At least ‘Y’ is up and running , but I think she feels uncomfortable about ‘pimping’ and the girl she brought , even though willing to stay the night , felt uncomfortable also. Money takes care of that , but the gal she brought was not really suitable for my purposes and so I rejected her. Will see if ‘Y’ is made of tough stuff and keeps coming back for more (rejections). Gave her P100 plus a P5 coin for Jeepney for her efforts , and we swapped cellphone numbers (important). We will see how uncomfortable ‘Y’ is about pimping as time goes by. Agent ‘A’ started out as a ‘reluctant’ medium , but got into the swing of things when she made an income from it. ‘Y’ has got a baby to feed and no job , she might not have any other choice other than pimping for me at the moment ? : )

Now to the Internet , joined penpal website and see if the fish are biting : ) Yes , joined and saw some nice ones , mailed them and will wait and see if any ‘bite’.

To downtown 9pm , ‘B’ is there. We go up a flight of stairs , enter the mini sleaze dance hall. The girls are reasonable dancers , some showing boobs only , others pussy , and a significant number are fuckable.

Bullseye :

I ask ‘B’ on at least three or four occasions “where is your Superchick”. Finally she arrives on stage and boy she is great. Very pretty face and spot on body , with that dash of ‘innocence’ (new girl to dancing ‘bold’). She’s 18 running 19 (and I am walking 99 : ) ‘B’ says her family has ‘hit the wall’ re money to survive , so Estrella had to step forward and save them as a dancing girl.

On this night she does not show pussy or anything like that , its only her second night as a ‘bold’ dancer. Filipino management give new girls time to muster the courage to take the clothes off etc. Whilst waiting to lose their shyness , new girls earn less than the those who show boobs/pussy etc (‘bold’ : )

Estrella has got a very nice ‘loving’ face , right height but her legs are a tad slim. Will forgive her for that , especially when I see her walk. Man she has got a sexy walk , this one. Very romantic type right from the start , extremely feminine. She’s full of ‘puppy love’ , fallen for me in a matter of minutes (hansum : ) and its no act with her. Hot , we are gonna be hot , together (in and out of bed : )

Bought her a Ladies Drink and ‘B’ made an arrangement for to meet her 3.30pm the following day at Gaisano Metro , Food Hall , 5th Floor.

So , I am back to fucking dancing girls. Back to the future : ) She is better than anything ‘A’ has brought through my door in the last four weeks , and on stage under dim lights , she’d give Miss Karaoke and Mongolian Maid a shake. The acid test will be 3.30pm tomorrow when I am sober and she is under white lights : ) Looks like the search for a girlfriend is over , and we have found her of all places in a sleazy downtown dance place : )

Hope she looks as good in the daylight. If so , there is a romance blossoming.Good , only nine days to liftoff (return home). Thomas , good for short time (ST) only. Within nine days I will have banged her brains out , and possibly mine too : )

Nice way to end a tour : )

Next morning , check text messages on the cellphone. Let’s see who is biting today : )

Answer : not one from Internet so far. ‘Y’ has left two romantic type messages for me , nothing about merchandise. She likes me , that is good , but I hope she does not expect me to ‘service’ her. ‘A’ started out similarly , not delivering any merchandise and expecting me to service her , and of course pay her. Once she got the message I was not going to service her she started delivering ‘merchandise’. Same will happen with ‘Y’ methinks. Just one of the many problems of being a ‘hansum’ man , every chick expects me to service em : )

Forgot to mention , ‘B’ has a dance place in Basak (outer suburb of Cebu City) he wants me to see. No barfine , says ‘B’ , but girls can not go with customer until closing time.

I should think Mumma will be pleased with Estrella’s success on just her second night out. A nice fat ATM (me) is a nice win , especially in a joint that sees few foreigners.

Thoughts of buying a bag of rice and presenting it to the ‘hungry’ Estrella family , better than handing cash. Handing cash = “thanks for your prostitute daughter” , rice smacks of ‘dowry’ , ‘romance’ etc : ) Only got 9 days left , gotta get to shafting this girl straight away.

Checked Internet again , voila , one nice one has written to me and supplied her cellphone number. We’ll call her ‘Internet Gal.1.’ (IG.1.) Rang her midday , but no answer. Will try again later in the day. About ten other ‘dogs’ have approached me too. Never invited them , so did not reply to them , ‘delete button’ : )

So the programme is : Estrella 3.30pm ‘rice dowry’ : ) ; IG.1 (Internet Gal) . ; Basak dance hall 9pm ; Sexy Dancer Competion (SF Disco) 10.30pm ; Hangover 9am : )

Estrella came , rice purchased and delivered to her squatter house. ‘B’ plans to convince her not to dance tonight and come with me to SF Disco. ‘B’ says she does not like dancing job , and so it will be easy to convince her to be absent tonight.

But I really fucked up here. I let her out of the car to her house with rice , presuming she would front up for dancing job that night , ‘B’ to intercept her before she got to dancing hall and tell her ‘Thommo SF Disco tonight’. But it didn’t happen that way , did it ? ‘B’ waited for Estrella but she did not front for her new dancing job !

OK , she does not like her new job and she has P250 of rice plus P200 cash from me. Same mistake I made before (Bubbles) , giving too much (methinks peanuts at the time) and so they do not front ? I gave P200 to her in my room , saying “I will not call tonight , here is your Ladies Drink”. Then later we dropped her with P250 of rice = P450 in one day without shuffling the feet (dancing). Result , she does not front for a job she does not like and later on ‘B’ can not snare her. Her Squatter house is in ‘Opra’ Which is high above the city . No hope of myself or ‘B’ remembering all the little alleyways the taxi driver manoeuvred to get to her house. The only way to contact her is via her dancing job. ‘B’ will have to park outside her ‘dancing hall’ again tomorrow night and arrange for us to meet yet again the following day. The clock is ticking. This next time , I will take her back to my room straight away and bang her. She is a spunk , this one.

Rang Internet Gal three times , no one answering her cellphone. Went to Internet Café and suggested to her via mail she meet me 4pm Saturday , will see.

Arrive at SF Disco 10.30pm minus Estrella and despondent , a bit sad.

Within 5 mins of propping at the bar this chick comes up to me , grinning like d’ Cat , she recognised my face from nine years ago. Within seconds I recognise her face. I first met her ten years ago , great body , great bang. Then I came back one year later and offloaded her to another guy. Obviously she did not get the message then , cause the way she approached me now (2005) , ten years after I banged her , you’d think I was her boyfriend. Sorry honey , I have to be cruel. Told her I am meeting a chick at SF , and tapped the empty seat next to me , indicating that is where d’ babe will be sitting. She gets the message and moves on . Sorry honey , gotta be cruel to be kind (and protect my personal interests : )

Tonight we have the ‘bad band’ at SF Disco. One night before there was a good band , only one night in about 5/6 nights , but alas , I have the ultimate Disco weapon …… ear wax. Plugged my ears , so bad band does not worry me anymore.

Lots of good girls , very few bad (Freelancer) girls , plus a few faggots (bayuts). Very few of the good girls are unaccompanied or good looking. I arrived despondent and I stayed despondent : )

Sexy Dancer Competition comes along (30 mins after midnight) and the girls on stage are in jeans. Only two in short skirt and they are overweight girls. There is not one special girl in amongst the jeans girls , not one. If Juella was here tonight in her micro mini skirt , flashing those legs , she would scoop the pool. She’d win P3000 for sure.

OK , so it’s a dog of a night , I leave before they start the actual competition. How could it be sexy with that line up ? Be warned ! Sexy Dancer Comp is not always sexy : )

Return to my accom and told front desk and security about meeting old flame at disco and don’t want her to get access to me , if she calls after the disco. If she can remember my face 9 years down the track , she might be able to remember where I stay (same place , same room). Soos Maria !

So now , semi drunk , I will go to Internet Café and see if I can ‘scoop’ something. It’s 1.30am in the morning : ) I’m still a bit sad/despondent , caused I missed out on Estrella : )

Stayed at Internet Café till 3.05am , sent mail to some more Internet cuties and observed GoGo girls etc coming in after their work to check their email (donations from suckers : ). It’s 3.35am , to sleep.

Stay tuned to see if I hook anything via the Internet , and whether or not Estrella finally falls into my web. Gonna order ‘O’ , Miss Ormoc via Agent ‘A’ . Her licking , sucking and fondling of the cock is the best ….. a real artiste once she gets hold of ya stick : )

Dispatch No.19.

The inside story …and drama’s , of a frustrated deviate … continues ……..

----

I closed the previous Dispatch with the following words :

“Stay tuned to see if I hook anything via the Internet , and whether or not Estrella finally falls into my web. Gonna order ‘O’ , Miss Ormoc via Agent ‘A’ . Her licking , sucking and fondling of the cock is the best ….. a real artiste once she gets hold of a stick” : )

So , what happened :

Agent ‘A’ calls and has news of a 6pm delivery. Girl next door type. So I defer talk re ‘O’ for the time being. Then ‘B’ calls (Thommo holding court with pimps : ) and tell him to intercept Estrella before starting work and ask her to come to my room the following day. So three possibilities …. the 6pm delivery , Estrella and then finally ‘O’ (sure thing , but perhaps I do not like sure things ? : )

To Internet Café and send Dispatch , check if Internet girl has responded to my message. Not much use of phoning her , she did not answer my calls before , neither did about four other non internet cellphone users. Communication via cell phone should be an efficient way of contacting the babes , but so far I have only talked to Juella a few days ago , all other calls failed to connect.

Chicks for free ? :

Whilst in my room ‘B’ told me the story about ‘Cheap Charlie’. This foreigner has a business in America , has money , but doesn’t like to spend it. He goes around promising to marry girls , including under age girls , breaks their virginity etc then moves on. Well , one gal and her Mother didn’t stand for it , they reported him to Immigration , he was apprehended at airport Departures and put in prison. He stayed in prison for four months , until he paid Pesos700,000 (U$15,000 approx) compensation to the girl. P200,000 went to court officials/police to drop case (bribe) , P500,000 to the girl. Note : Regardless of your activities in the Philippines (good or bad) NEVER let anyone know your real name. Avoid that at all costs.

As we know , ‘free’ sex is too expensive. This Cheap Charlie story simply re-inforces that fact. Cheap Charlie could have had at least 500,000 gals and not have to worry about prison , if he’d ‘paid for play’. Free sex is too expensive : )

The Internet fish are biting , IG.1. (Internet Gal.1.) supplied her cell phone number. Rang her and was told she’s at College in class at time of my call. I felt like a cradle snatcher , feel uncomfortable with ‘students’. She suggested I call back 4pm , I will. So two Internet fish on line now. No expectations of immediate sex , but you never know , plus , they might be ripe for picking next time I visit Cebu ? : )

Then made phone contact with IG.1 later in day, but she looks like an early ‘casualty’ . Seems she was just being Filipino friendly replying to the mail I sent her , especially cause I told her and all of them I was in Cebu City right now. So I suppose ‘host syndrome’ kicked in and IG.1. thought it appropriate to reply to my mail. But she is not responding to my suggestion of a meeting. Another one bites the dust : )

Right now , the time and tested ‘Pizza deliveries’ are looking superior.

Then IG.2. contacts me. That’s three out of ten so far. No dogs fella’s , only selected tasty ones (face only on the Internet …. wot about the legs ?) IG2 is meeting me at SM tomorrow , and guess where ? French Bakers (dirty pervert : ) Bringing ‘Auntie’ along. They always bring Auntie along. She is there to assess my ‘character’ etc and to fast track the ‘marriage’ : )

I tell ya what , Filipinas are quick to marry and get the hell out of the Philippines (endemic poverty and hopelessness). Seen em marry within 72hrs of meeting someone. Imagine a foreigner marrying a babe within 72hrs of meetin’ her. It happens. Myself , I have been propositioned by ‘Auntie’ to marry her niece , within 24hrs of meeting (screwing) same , but then I am handsome. Guys like me don’t come along every day of the week : )

The fish are biting. Internet girl.3. (IG.3.) contacts me , but as with 98% of others I can not talk to her. Ring her cell number and get the same message as with the others : “the number you are calling is not yet in service”. Consequently have to spend a lot of time receiving and sending text messages. Should have started this caper on arrival 4/5 weeks ago , by now I would have been shagging some of them (?). No worries , something learnt. Next trip will fish on Internet very first day of arrival. Something to look forward to anyway.

‘A’ did not deliver 6pm , called later in night with a ‘reject babe’. So , I ordered Miss Ormoc (O) for fellato 4pm next day. Agent ‘B’ said Estrella did not front for work again. Looks like she has resigned. Stupid me , never took her cell phone number (if she has one) or offered mine , stupid.

So its meeting IG.2. , aka , “Wife No.1” at SM (Shoemart) today. Auntie will grin like a Cheshire Cat and they will go away from the meet with great expecations of marriage. Not that I will talk about that subject , I will not , but Filipinas are very presumptious. Because they meet you , they reckon they are gonna marry you , right ?! That’s normal isn’t it ? : )

4pm the ‘Fellato Maestro’ , Miss Ormoc is going to call and ‘clean me out’. Maybe 9pm I will check Estrella’s dance place and see if ‘B’ is feeding me bullshit or not (always on the cards). Sunflower Disco seems the only place to go after that. Not in the mood for a ‘sleaze crawl’ (low level dance halls) with ‘B’. Hopefully will do that before I leave Phil shores. Then there is always ‘text messaging’ Internet fish : )

This man ……. Thomas …… is evil , someone please stop him , before he impregnates yet another ‘innocent’ ! : )

So off to SM and lay down the ‘terms of engagement’ (marriage : ). Will she come on time ? Will she come at all ? Stay tuned.

Yes , she actually came early and Auntie was a young un’ , early 20’s. Wife No.1 , aka , IG2 had lovely deep brown eyes , pretty face and total innocence. Claiming to be’running 20’ but looking like and behaving like a 16/17yr old. In fact during the 45 min interview she did not utter one single word until about the 35 min mark. Auntie did all the talking on her behalf. IG2 just sat there smiling , giggling and putting handkerchief over her mouth (cover smiles/embarrassment). Not the kind of girl I like to seduce , especially when Daddy (like Elena’s truck driver Father) keeps a close eye on her. Invited her and Auntie to a friends Restaurant 8pm tonight for job possibility . Auntie said IG2 would have to get permission from Daddy. So , forget that , I will find out myself from Restaurant friend tonight re her job possibilities , call her tomorrow and let her know. This gal is not ‘fuck material’. It’s a case of ……”next please” : )

IG.1. who I thought before was an ‘early casualty’ , has also come out of the wood work with sms message : “yes we can meet”. Got her message two hours after she sent it , replied but have not heard from her again , as yet. IG2 was the best in communicating , very direct , minimal texing and bingo met her. IG.1. ‘fucks around’. Too many text messages , too little deliverance.

Same with ‘A’ , too many stories , too little deliverance. The poor people of the Philippines do not understand the importance of ‘delivery’ , ie , getting it done , consequently little if anything happens in their lives. They are quite ‘fatalistic’ really , quite ‘fatalistic’. Perhaps if I was born within the same environment , I would be the same ?

Had request from Taipan (contributor whorist.com) to fuck Miss B (aka Miss Brazil) , buddy of ‘J’ (see Dispatch.17) and also post a photo of her on website later on. As you know from Disp.17 the vibes between me and Miss B are not to my liking , but her body is : ) Will see , might hook up with her 48hrs before plane leaves for home (hit and run). If I do that , I will take photo’s to give you some idea what she looks like. She was pulling P5000 short time at Infinity KTV before she got pregnant , so she is a ‘looker’. And here is me 3 yrs ago not partaking of her. At times I wonder why I do things , in this case , why I did not bang her brains out three years ago before all those KTV customers got their hands on her ? She (and ‘J’) were ex Agent ‘A’ (3yrs ago) by the way. She could deliver then , but alas not this time around , it seems.

My mood has changed , and yes I want to go on a sleaze dancing hall tour with Agent ‘B’ and give SF Disco a miss. In retrospect , SF has only been good two nights out of about six. All other nights the place was inundated with faggots (bayuts/katoeys) , ordinary looking good girls or good lookers in company. Estrella has renewed my interest in native dancing places and the kind of girls you can find in them.

‘A’ calls without Miss Fellato but alas with a better looking babe. And just before ‘A’ arrived ‘Y’ texted me saying she is calling 8.30pm , presumably with ‘merchandise’ (chick). We will call this ‘better looking babe’ : BLB. Now this girl is worth an all night session so I give her P100 and a small bar of chocolate and tell her to return tomorrow afternoon 4pm. She is new to the trade (sex trade) and so doesn’t know what her ‘hours of employment’ should be , as dictated by tradition (8pm-8am). So I will bang her from 4pm to 8/9am next day. Poor thing she is in for a Tsinumu of sex : )

I couldn’t bang her tonight cause ‘Y’ is calling at 8.30pm and its not good in this early stage of our relationship to cancel ‘Y’. She might lose confidence in me

So I interviewed BLB who looks (repeat looks , but unknown quantity right now) like good value , kind of girl that excites me. Then ‘Y’ is to call 8.30pm. Then I go downtown and meet ‘B’ , 9.30pm , have one drink at Estrella’s Bar to confirm whether or not ‘B’ is feeding me bullshit or not , then off on a tour of Mactan native dance halls , hiring a taxi at the hourly rate of P200 per hour. Its hard to get a taxi back from Mactan , plus we will be hopping from one bar to the next = need a taxi on standby/hourly hire.

Well , since writing the above , there has been a text (cellphone) war. Had two girls texing me same time. Kinda kinky making dates with two babes via same medium (cellphone) at same time : ) IG.1. (another Miss Brazil in appearances) comes across as the ‘tuity fruity’ , one to bang. IG.2. is too shy/young ; IG.3. (another Mousey in appearances) has shown signs of being a little temperamental. No doubt I will fuck neither of them : ) Reckon if I started two weeks ago with IG.1. I would be shagging her by now.

Have a shower , drink a beer or two , wait for ‘Y’ , see what she’s got if anything , then ‘B’ 9.30pm and possibly native whore tour. Following day BLB , Miss Fellato has been sidelined for a day or two , she lost her opportunity. I said 4pm , ‘A’ comes back with suggestion of 8pm.

Not when it suits the seller fella’s , when it suits the buyer , that’s what I say. So she (Miss Fellato) goes in the fridge for a couple of days. BLB is better looking and more carnal. The carnal side and better looks might make up for lack of blow job expertise. Doubt if she could compare with Miss Fellato in that respect. Anyway it’s a thrill to watch an amateur grapple with the art of sucking/slurping/licking cock ‘n balls , but not as thrilling as experiencing a ‘natural’ do it the way its supposed to be done (Miss Fellato : )

If BLB can’t suck cock might get her to call for some on the job training when Miss Fellato is working on me. Now that would be fun ! Yeh , devilish idea that , might just do it , the master (Miss Fellato) and the apprentice. (BLB). Fun , fun , that would be fun , running commentaries by me , eg , “you see BLB , what she is doing now ……..” etc : ) Fun , fun , can imagine Miss F licking the shaft , then getting her to step back and asking BLB to come forward and see if she can lick it as good etc.

Then get the two of them working on me same time , fun fun. Front Desk would be well aware that I had two at same time. Can imagine them making comments like “The old pervert now has two at a time” : )

Hey , fella’s nothing like this was happening in Thailand , was it. Soos Maria ! Philippines is where it happens (no language/cultural barrier) .

And yes , I have a brain wave re Internet girls and the problem of my age. I have got a strategy that will definitely work. Admittedly I will have a high attrition rate , reckon I will only bang about one in twenty or thirty but at least I will be free of ‘Agents’ and everything that goes with them. Free in respect of Internet girls , but not free of Agents altogether. Intend to keep them on my books too. Combination of Internet Fish and Agents ‘talent’. Maybe in time I can dispense with Agents altogether , but one advantage using them ….. the gals I get that way , know why they are coming to my room : )

I have just begun to implement my strategy with Internet Girl .5. (Mousey look alike) who is in her 5th year of College studying dentistry (got money !) and only 21yrs of age, started College at 16yrs , that’s young = she is bright = she is no bang : ) So I am implementing my strategy to offload her. I can use it (my ‘strategy’) to offload or download chicks : )

So , this is what happened tonight : ‘Y’ arrived one hour late , 9.35pm with one ‘b’ grade effort and one regular effort (chicks). Bundled her out of the door within 5 mins and then hot footed it to downtown meet up with ‘B’.

First ‘B’ and I head to “Dollhouse” dance place , Superhighway , Basak. Building , toilets , stage etc all good , dancers unbelievably slack and one was even ‘baby jumbo’ size (short and fat). One drink and outta there. Then to downtown dance places (Palaez/Sancgianko area) , quality of girls ‘b’ grade. Estrella has obviously resigned , no sign of her either. So , I have now researched downtown on three separate occasions and can say ‘forget it’ , quality babes are just not there ……. exception , Estrella , who has now gone missing. Up to mid 1980’s Downtown was good , but nowadays it’s a waste of time.

11pm and only thing left for me to do was SF Disco. Interesting at SF , could have scored about five girls , sitting at the one spot all night (didn’t move around) , they were all making eyes at me , but none up to standard of ones I have already had via ‘A’ , or the one I am going to have tomorrow night (BLB) , so gave them a pass. Plenty of mongers at SF , one making a fool of himself. In fact when he sat down uninvited at a gals table , she got up and left and only returned when he left her table. The girls at this same table were giving me the glad eye. He came across as ‘drunk’ , I came across as a lonely gentleman punter , hence the interest in me (maternal instincts at play). I say it “pays to be cheeky” (as with drunk) but I make sure , before I make my moves that the gal is making eye contact with me first. I would never sit down at any ones table without first getting the ‘come on’ via eye contact , never. The gal he sat down next to had her back to him , she did not see him comin'. Was it you ? : )

Band was terrible again , then home to Internet Café 2am and bingo , got another bite , scored a really cute Internet babe. Hope to meet her tomorrow , her only day off. She’s IG4 , aka , “Cute”. ‘Penpal’ hit rate so far , four out of ten , that’s not too bad , especially when they know how old I am : ) She invited me to contact her 10am online and even suggested I join Yahoo Messenger to chat more with her. She is the ‘chirpiest’ applicant so far. I like lively people , they give me a ‘lift’.

Back in my room , there was a text message from ‘Y’ apologizing for late arrival and lack of suitable ‘merchandise’. This gal is useless , all she can do is smile that lovely smile of hers. From this point on’ , she will have to come to me , not pursuing her anymore.

Up 8.30am , last washing of clothes for this tour. If lucky will be on the plane and backhome within six days from now , that is , five more days of fishin’ ‘n f . . . . n : ) Wait listed , no confirmed seat yet. I’ve had enough alcohol , pollution , inadequate diet and text messaging for now. Time to return to sanity and a healthier environment , ponder on what has happened in the last few weeks and see how I can improve my method of operation next time I travel to Phil/Thailand. This old dog is always willing to learn new tricks : )

Much texting between Internet Cute and myself , lot of it unnecessary. Get to SM and stand outside French Baker. Much confusion , she not recognising me and me not recognising her. I even approached the wrong girl , thinking it might be her. Father of wrong girl quickly appeared , I apologised. Then I sight ‘Cute’ (I think) wave to her , she comes forward , we enter Dunkin Donuts next door to F Baker , better for ‘interviews’. She is with two guys , one brother , the other bayut/gay and her nine year old sister. Cute says she approached a foreigner in F Baker ..”are you Thomas”. Guy said “wish I was” : ) Chatted with her for about 45mins , two excellent bodies entered and took a seat not far from us. Better looking gals in ‘Donuts’ than F Baker , that’s for sure. Cute turns out to be too small , too young etc. Inappropriate for my purposes. Dump her. She asks “can we accompany you” , I say “prefer to walk around (SM) alone”. Gotta be cruel to be kind : )

Head straight for cellphone shops one level higher in SM. Enter shop with a good looking ‘Hello’ girl just inside the door. This Hello girl fixes the accessory on the cellphone for me. She’s so pretty I decide to be cheeky and go for it , and said , “you are clever , and , you are beautiful”. She couldn’t resist. I said … “you have cellphone” ? , she nodded yes. I gave her my cellphone number , she looked up to see if any fellow workers were watching , then wrote her number under mine and handed it back to me. In Phil you have to make the first approach , that is , I have to call her first , then its on.

So within 5 mins of leaving Internet Cute I was soliciting Cellphone Gwapa (Beauty) , whom we will call HG (Hello Girl).

SM was rocking , heaps of people , most too young for our purposes , but still some suitable. Went to Ayala and the supposed pick up (Freelancer) coffee shops etc (just past TimeZone , one level up from ground floor). They were very quiet , next to nil customers. Ayala itself was tame compared to SM , but more mature babes. At ground level , Idea Italia had two ageing and overweight mongers in the company of an attractive hooker. She never took her eyes off me (sign of a ‘bad’ girl : ) Idea Italia is still the better pick up spot in my opinion , but even so ….. still a long shot if you sit on your ass waiting for a fly to pass by : )

Back to my room texed HG as follows : “Hi HG , It was exciting meeting you. Will text again tomorrow”

Lesson to be learnt today Thomas : “get up off your ass , walk around , you can find better than Agent A’s babes”. Yeh , better looking but are they bangs ? HG would be a 2 to 4 week project methinks. And it might take 4 weeks to find out ya not bangin her. ‘A’s babes are instant pizza’s. All I have to do is sit on my ass and wait for the typical tap ,tap on my door : )

With luck , in two hours time BLB (Better Looking Babe) will call and we will get down to some serious sucking and fucking : )

Well 8.30pm arrives and ‘A’ walks in without BLB , but substitutes yet again. One of the substitutes was quite attractive and had the ideal body , but both girls were dead set whores , nothing like BLB. I blame ‘Y’ for the fuck up. Had BLB in my room the night before , did not bang her cause ‘Y’ said she was calling. Y called one hour late with unsuitable merchandise. Shit Estrella slipped through my fingers , now BLB. Its hard enough getting suitable ones , without these kinds of fuck ups.

BLB is supposed to need money very badly yet ‘A’ said she did not show. Can I believe ‘A’ ? If ‘A’ was to bring BLB at 8pm , how come she can walk in through my door at 8.30pm with ready made replacements ? I think this was possibly pre-planned/organised before and ‘A’ might not have even tried to bring BLB. What would be the motive ? I am not sure. Can not believe BLB did not want to front , I gave her P100 and a bar of chocolate the night before (‘appearance money’) , relations were good (I can be generous : ). What girl in the West would not react favourably to U$2 (Pesos100) and a U$0.50 bar of chocolate ? : ) ‘A’ could possibly be playing games with me and only brings babes that are convenient for her to bring. Well its not convenient for me , and I am the one with the golden eggs.

Anyway , no ‘appearance money’ for those two babes , I did not ask them to call and no taxi money for ‘A’. The girls time has been wasted and ‘A’ has wasted her time and taxi money too. Most importantly she has wasted my time and fucked up my night.

I am really upset now , only few short days before my plane leaves and too many fuck ups.

What to do now ? I like Disco’s but don’t feel like returning to SF yet again. I’m stuffed. Jesus , ‘B’ cant find Estrella and ‘A’ cant find BLB.

‘A’ , I want those reading glasses and that fake Rolex back : )

Things looking up ?

Next day BLB contacts ‘A’ and is supposedly calling 8pm tonight. Then ‘B’ tells me Estrella went to the dance hall last night , enquiring about ‘B’s whereabouts , presumably to make contact with me. But ‘B’ was not there at the time. Have now commissioned ‘B’ to go up into the Mountains … ‘Opra’ , find her house and fetch her for me. P150 for return taxi trip (sponsorship).

Texted No.1. Internet girl and best looker , told her I am in Davao and will contact her on return. Not going to romance her at a Restaurant with friend 9pm tonight , as previously arranged for P1000 , when I can have sex with BLB tonight for the same cost. Too much friggin around , need a bang and fast. Romance (Internet gal .1.) can wait.

Texted HG (Hello Girl) , just wishing her good morning. Got a feeling I will never hear from her : ) She might have originally given me her cellphone number just to please me , but now she’s had time to think about it , she’s got cold feet ? It’s easier to knock me back via cellphone than face to face , isn’t it .

Still can not get confirmed seat on plane exiting Philippines , in four days time. Thanks for those donations to Junquerra fella’s , please send more , might need em : )

Immediate Programme : BLB , Estrella and Miss Fellato. But when Thommo is involved , the theory rarely matches the outcome , I am sure you will agree : )

Well , I’ve been minus a bang last 2/3 days maybe things are about to turn around ? Stay tuned : )

……………… Thommo , aka , ‘Drama Queen’ : )

Dispatch No.20.

The inside story …and drama’s , of a frustrated deviate … continues , but not for very long ……..next one , number twenty two will be the last : )

----

Final sentence on previous issue was :

“Well , I’ve been minus a bang last 2/3 days maybe things are about to turn around ? Stay tuned” : )

So , what happened ? :

Better Looking Babe (BLB) did front , had three rounds with her. For BJ expertise I’d give her 4 out of ten. Bang itself 7. A little bit of whimpering helped her rating. She needs some on the job training with Miss Fellato , but she is not the type to have a threesome. Girl next door type , hence rather reserved performance.

2.30am in the morning txt message came through from Internet Girl.1. (IG.1.) who is the best looker (Internet). This is 12hrs after she was told Thommo had gone to Davao for two weeks. Her txt message , I quote : “I was at the ship , thinking of you. When I looked down , I dropped a tear or two …………” She thinks I went to Davao by ship : ) Remember I have not met this College babe yet. “Dropped a tear or two” indeed. How about dropping your pants babe ? : )

8am in the morning , Agent ‘A’ says she has a Superchick for 7pm. Think we have heard that one before , haven’t we ? : ) Miss Fellato is also keen to lick my balls again , but delay her until I see ‘A’s 7pm Superchick.

Agent ‘B’ gave my cellphone number to Estrella’s sister yesterday to pass on , but no call from Estrella yet. Unfortunate that I did not take a pic of her.

To airlines , see if I can get on plane three days time. Result , still not on plane. Will head to Manila on departure day and try luck as a chance passenger. ‘B’ gave me cellphone number of Cebu Superchick who went to Manila the day before I arrived in the Philippines. Will call her if I do not get flight back home.

Tried to get one of the Internet girls (brown eyes) a job with a friend , no luck.

7pm comes and ‘A’ has confusing story re Superchicks delivery. Always stories. Uses my cellphone talks to babe , gets P100 for taxis , goes off to fetch her only 10mins away. Here it is 8pm and I am still waiting for Superchick and BLB fronts. Get rid of BLB in 1 sec , P100 in the hand and out the door. Could spoil 'Superchick' delivery , if its ever going to happen.

Where the hell is ‘A’ and her Superchick , due 7pm ? Jesus I am getting angry , better leave the country , its past its ‘use by’ date.

I could never live in the Philippines. Too much of a circus. People unreliable , unpunctual and prone to telling lies. Yes , same people friendliest people on earth. If I lived here I’d go mad. Don’t know how or why foreigners live here long term. They must be able to insulate themselves from the ‘chaos’.

Phil is a library which I utilise from time to time. Good for having a lend of only. Thomas good for ST only , Filipino babes , also good for ST only. We were made for each other : )

Verdict on 7pm S’chick (Long hair , chinese face , 5’3”) : 8.30pm ‘A’ reports that brother of 8SC (8pm Superchick) is watching her. Easier for 8SC to come during day , so day it is , 4pm tomorrow.

Tonight ‘A’ has a stand in , short hair , attractive face , 5’4”. This particular pizza will arrive at 10pm tonight (hopefully).

‘A’ seems to be harvesting nearly all of these babes from her village/barrio area , neighbours , friends of neighbours , faces she is familiar with. Girls don’t mind coming with a fellow neighbour or someone who lives in the area , especially if that person is another girl (eg ‘A’).

Soon all the girls of ‘A’s area will be able to say “I too have been fucked by Thomas” : ) For sure I had better not visit ‘A’s area any time soon , otherwise I might find a team of kids running up to me hollerin’ “Daddy , Daddy” : )

10.35pm and the substitute delivery of ‘A’ has not eventuated. Frustration is the key word right now. Jesus it’s a circus , and maybe I am the lead ‘Clown’ ? If only I could give up on sex , life would be so much easier.

If your under 50yrs fella’s , forget about contacts. Get a cellphone , stick on cellphone numbers (with your first name) , walk around , here there everywhere and hand out your cellphone number. The cellphone is your intermediary/contact. A machine (cellphone) is more reliable and less frustrating than Filipino 'contacts'.

The only weak link in that technique , is that you require a brief personal approach to hand over your cellphone number. Some gals will react favourably to it , others not so ( = embarrassment for you).

This is the problem for all of us in SE Asia ….. direct approaches in public by foreigners to local ladies is not acceptable. The local female contact takes care of that (eg ‘A’)

Even so , one needs a mix of strategies : 1. “Contact/s” 2. Handing out cellphone numbers 3. Internet penpal sites

10.50pm and in walks ‘A’ with ‘substitute’, 5’5” , pretty face , at first thoughts were ‘bayut’ (katoey) but no , this was a gal who was tall and pretty. She has thirteen (yep 13) brothers. Her mumma started the family production line when she was 14yrs. Yes , ‘substitute’ seemed shy , courteous , obedient type , but the thing that concerned me was the colour of her skin …. too white. A tad ‘Michael Jackson’ in appearance.

Has she been wiping that stupid ‘skin whitener’ chemical on her face for the last 5yrs ? Running 21 was her age (means , 20yrs now , 21 next birthday).

Interragator/Interviewer Thommo asks all the questions … answers : she left school at 12yrs of age (parents cant afford to send kids to school). So , I ask the pertinent question ….. “what have you been doing for the last 8 years” , smiling and laughing as I said it. She says “stay home , help mumma”.

Myself , I am thinking , shy as she is , she has been selling pussy for some time now. The ultra white skin and the fact she has been unemployed for 8 plus years ( = selling herself for at least 4/5yrs ) turned me off a bit.

It was a tough call , I pondered for 20 mins whether I should rent her or not. Decided not to rent , paid her top ‘appearance money’ P200 (usually P100/U$2) and Agent ‘A’ P200 (time spent) and sent them on their way.

When she swung around to leave and thank me for the P200 , our eyes met , in that instant I thought …… ‘quality girl’. I was interested now , but it was too late , I’d already told her “no” , so ‘dumb stubbornness’ kicked in , and I left it at that (pride wouldn’t let me change my mind) …. no chick tonight.

Tell ya what fella’s , I am sure 99% of mongers would have banged her , but ‘dumb stubbornness’ kicked in and there is nothing I can do about it , I was born with it , I will die with it.

No problems , there is always tomorrow and the 4pm delivery (Chinese , Long Hair ) which is supposed to be better than “substitute”. If she is not , I will not be happy , cause only 2 days to go …. and I am a chance passenger in Manila.

Perhaps I like to lose ? For sure winning would be hard to handle after all the ‘b grade’ stuff I have sifted through in the last six weeks or so.

Stay tuned …. the ‘Circus’ continues : )

Internet .1. girl (IG.1.) is a spunk , and funny one at that. Her previous text message message “dropped a tear or two” was well received , now she has upped the ante and sent an even more ‘romantic’ text message. Not forgetting we have never met , this is what she said today : “My heart is a gift to you …………open it” ……….then she drew a heart with the words “I miss you” in the middle , then ends up txt msg with .. “always take care , coz I care”. Funny , this gal is funny. I replied : “You are the text Queen of Cebu City” didn’t sign , think she will presume its Saun , cause Thommo is supposed to be in Davao : ) Maybe she has fallen in love with Saun ? Soos Maria !

She says she has opened her heart to me (or Saun ?). I’d love to reply : “you say open your heart , I say open your legs …… and I will open my wallet” : )

After two/three weeks of not being able to contact CF (Classy Face , ex , SF Disco) and always getting message “not connected” , I decided early this morning to send a text message instead , bingo she replied straight away. This girl is serious , not flippant , like IG.1. for example. She is running a biz in partnership with her bro’. I can see early on she wants me to chase her , no way Jose. Look at IG.1. and all the romantic text messages I (Saun ?) receive from her . Much prefer an entertainer like IG.1.

To airlines see if got confirmed seat , get cellphone stickers printed , have volume on cellphone turned up , walk the walk (dropping off cellphone number as I ‘meet the people’) then back to room , two hour siesta to recharge batteries then fuck beautiful Chinese (looking) gal 4pm short time. She has to be home before dark , otherwise brother will come looking for her. You would not want to bang this one early on in the trip , otherwise brother might eventually find out whats going on and come looking for ya !

Fella’s if your contact tells ya gal can “only come in the day time” , chances are you have got the real deal (non whore). But be wary , don’t let contact know your more interested in the daylight babes , and reason why you are , otherwise contact will use the daylight story for whores too , just to trick you. I can tell a whore , some of you are new and might find it difficult to differentiate.

The important thing for me is , that I do not think the girl is a whore (yet she might be). She can be a whore , but so long as she does not look like or behave like a whore , I’m interested. If your dealing with a Pimp , as opposed to a ‘contact’ , and they get to understand your requirements , they might coach the girls to present the image you want. For example , a dead set whore can play act the ‘innocent’ for a few mins , but eventually tell tale signs begin to show. Attitude. It’s the whore attitude that I do not like. I like the physical side of whores , but not the mental/behavioural side.

Cellphone stickers on their way. Pick up tomorrow afternoon They look snazzy. CGS Printers , c/r Junquerra and Sangianko Sts , located in Junquerra St itself , for the stickers. An additional weapon : ) Cellphone volume turned up. Secured a cash advance ex my credit card after some frustration , three taxi rides and one and a half hours of my time. Still no confirmed seat out of the Philippines , but will still go to Manila as a chance passenger. Plus a couple of other chores , everything done finished , including shower. Mid stream shower , when I had my head full of shampoo , soap in my eyes etc the water went off. Had to throw a towel around and go to Front Desk semi nude wanting to know what happened to the water ….. Philippines : )

I’m set , ready , waiting for Miss China. If not satisfactory then I will insist on meeting the “College Pimp” , spend big money and have a classy student to fuck. Gotta end up on a high note. Only two nights left before I am a chance passenger in Manila.

Cellphone IG.1. (Internet Gal.1.) She’s such a spunk on the internet (photo) plus such a character via text messages (romantic poems etc) that I told her I am back in Cebu , meet before I go to Manila. “Sorry I am too old , at least we can be friends”. Best form of defence is attack : ) Told her , read her poems (read em long time ago : ) most impressed etc. This girl looks like fun. She is young enough to put back in the oven and pop back out again when I return to Cebu next time. Will not go to Brazil , I like the Filipinos , the frustrations , the lies ……… love em : )

Its an incredibly interesting battle going on between me and ‘A’. She tries to ‘shaft’ me most of the time (put one over me) , I resist , she pulls her head in , ‘delivers’ , then goes back to trying to trick me all over again. Known her for a long time now (Agent ‘B’ longer).

And ‘Y’ useless as she is right now , will give her my email address and keep in contact with her. She has a lovely smile and a heart , that is why I have not heard from her lately , she is distraught at not being able to ‘deliver’ , but I believe she will deliver in the future. Ya gotta develop a relationship. When the contact/agent likes you , you will ‘receive’ , believe me , even if its only ‘frustration’ : )

Cagayan de Oro contact has been placed in the Freezer (not the Fridge) . Might never use her : )

Sojourn is coming to an end now , Notes for myself :

1. Cellphone , stickers , walk the walk (Malls , Dept Stores , Food Halls) , hand out cell phone stickers.

2. Maintain Contact/s (frustrating as they are).

3. Develop young 18yr old Internet babes , until they are around 20/21yrs of age , and madly in love with me , then fuck their brains out : )

The life of a ‘deviate’ …. wouldn’t change it for anything : )

Typing this out , drinking beer , and waiting for Miss China. It’s always a Lottery , never know what is going to walk through my door (if anything). Admittedly I knock back too many babes , at least 25% of the ones I knock back are more than fuckable , but I like the power of ‘rejection’ : )

“The power of rejection” , now that’s a good one : )

Think we will call it ….’quote of the month’ : )

Miss China , where art thou , if you come late , I will fuck you in the ass : )

Non whores are frustrating . They have all sorts of reasons for not arriving. Brother watching , parents watching etc.

As I said before , if no Miss China , its College Pimp , if ‘A’ can intro me , that is. Think ‘A’ is scared to intro me to CP (College Pimp) , thinks she will lose me forever : )

I want a quality good looking babe , doesn’t have to be a College Student. The fact that a babe is a student does not hold any particular interest for me. Its not a ‘turn on’ for me cause the gal is a student , if anything it is a ‘turn off’. I feel like a cradle snatcher/baby snatcher if I am fucking ‘students’. But these students are 19-22yrs of age and do not have ‘whore’ running through their blood. There are always exceptions and some students are whoring more than they are studying. And don’t forget you can be duped. A gal can front to your room in a school uniform she has bought somewhere. She is not necessarily a student. If your hung up on students and want to be sure you are fucking the real deal , then ask for her student ID and make sure it is a current one , not an old expired one.

Genuine students have a little more education , make for more intelligent conversation , and you know the money you give her is going towards a good cause ….. her education.

It seems the quality non whore fucks nowadays are College Students , so it looks like that is the direction this ageing pervert Thommo will take. Agent ‘A’ does not have contact with these particular girls , hence my interest in CP (College Pimp). College girls know if they want to raise quick money , they go and see CP. Apparently she is well known in College circles.

So , its my 2nd last night in the Philippines and waiting for Agent ‘A’ to bring ‘China’ . I am willing to pay above normal rates for her , but where is she ?

Answer , well she is not in my room. Almost 5 hours later , here is what happened : China did not come , substitute did. Sub’ has nice face , eyes , but too short/small , rejected. Then I force ‘A’ to take me to CP (College Pimp) , briefly met her. Theoretically CP is calling to my room , in the company of ‘A’ , and possibly with a College Student , not sure about that , 10am tomorrow morning , but I do not believe anyone anymore.

Text Superchick in Manila , get racist reply. Later in night ‘A’ talks to that cell number and realises its not the chick he recommended , ie , ‘A’ gave me wrong cell number (inept). Then later ‘A’ arrives with what she calls a ‘special’ , says something about 6. I said , “whats that about six”. She replies “she goes home 6am”.

Very presumptious this lot , the gal has only been in my room 30 secs and ‘A’ is talking about what time she goes home the next day. This gal is as innocent as a semi whore could be , and says to my face “you are handsome”. She means it , keeps looking at me and almost giggling (with delight … going to sleep with handsome guy : ). I told her I have the same problem with all the chicks I meet ……. “handsome” : )

Legs too skinny , no tits , keen as mustard (likes me a lot) ….. reject her , out the door she goes. She was gob struck/shocked , she thought she had it in the bag. How could I refuse her ? P2000 all night cause she was ‘special’. Not special for me babe , out the door you go. People think they can select me , it doesn’t happen that way with Thomas. The buyer , Thommo , is the one who selects (or rejects : )

4.30am in the morning , I get up and write the following :

I slept alone again tonight. Dumb stubbornness has its positive side …. saves money : ) Once I start accepting ‘b’ grade stuff , that is all ‘A’ will bring to me. I am trying to force the issue. If ‘A’ can not bring me quality stuff I have had in years gone by , I will find somebody who can , eg CP. In the meantime I will go without.

Only one night left now , and I am sick of all the humbug. I’ve had enough of whoring. CP’s babe (10am or later in the day) will have to be darn good for me to be interested. One positive thing that came out of last night , I met CP and have an idea where she lives (not far from ‘A’). Did not go down winding paths with ‘A’ (should have) , but still got an idea where to locate her if need be.

CP is supposedly the medium for quality College students fucking their way through College. So she is worth checking out methinks.

IG.1. texes me and wants to meet me 9pm tonight , my last night in town. Possibly 10am CP (College Pimp) tells me she has a nice one for me that same night , so I can not commit myself to IG.1. Looks like I will not be meeting IG.1. this trip. She is only 18/19yrs of age , so put her back in the oven and pop her out in a year or two , methinks. She looks a spunk , writes crazy poems etc. Seems a bit of a character. Best strategy … meet her within 24hrs of arriving next trip. By end of that trip should have banged her brains out.

I am really frazelled with all the Agent ‘A’ frustration. Too many stories , too many unsuitable babes. It seems the only hope I have for the future is Internet babes that I cultivate before I arrive in the Philippines. Before , I was not willing to get to know Internet babes long term , arrive ‘n bang them short time , then terminate them long time (forever). Didn’t have the heart for that , but it seems if I am not willing to do that , I am not going to experience many quality girls. So , I have to ‘toughen up’ , and exploit the College Students need for a cash flow. ‘A’ simply can not produce a steady supply of quality girls anymore. Focus on the College Students via Internet and via CP , methinks.

This trip has brought me up to date. My old ways are not working anymore , must adapt and utilise the Internet. Good lookers are utilising it (Internet) to hook guys like me (hungry for fresh grass). I know the Internet girls basic strategy is to try and extract money without supplying honey. Will try and out manoeuvre them in that regard : )

A Monger must adapt to survive. Thommo will adapt to the changing times. Internet and walking the walk , handing out cellphone number (specially printed tags). Way to go , 2nd millennium. Dealing with half educated inept ‘Agents’ is too frustrating and quality girls will not do biz with them anymore , it seems. These same quality girls are hooking guys via Internet and Cellphones.

So, here I come girls , deal direct with me , and eliminate the commissions and frustrations : ) For sure the frustrations will remain , still dealing with the same species . I can handle frustration if I have success occasionally. Only need to have occasional success to justify the frustrations.

Stay tuned and see what happens with Thommo , in this , his “final hours”.

Will CP call ? , will she have a Superchick ? , will Thommo enlist Miss Fellato to conclude his Cebu tour ? All this and more will be answered in what will be one of the final edition , number 22.

Citizen Thommo (finally dishonourably discharged : )

Went to d’ Front some weeks ago a proud predator , returning home soon , a brow beaten man.

Need to re-group , change strategies (modus operandi) and launch a fresh attack next tour.

----

Dispatch No.21.

The end is nigh ……..tired of all the stuffing around.

----

At the end of number twenty one , I was waiting for the arrival of ‘A’ with CP. Neither arrived. Pathetically unreliable this lot.

8.30pm when IG.1’s finished with College for the day will text her for a meet. Will not shag her , but at least get the romance launched , that’s if she can accept the age difference.

After her I will go to SF Disco have a few beers , home early , up early to Airport 9.30am following day and chance passenger at Manila 8pm for flight home. If no luck as chance passenger , not sure what I will do. Sick of the Cebu scene and maybe sick of the Philippines scene. Got a confirmed seat home in two weeks time ex Manila. Maybe I will dash back to Thailand ? Money is tight , but have a pleasant two weeks there. No sex , but pleasant wait for flight home ex Manila ? Can’t stand ‘A’ anymore , and maybe she can not stand me , hence her non arrival this morning ? Perhaps she has resigned ? Might be doing me a favour if she has done that.

I am currently down , despondent. Sex side of this tour has been disappointing (and frustrating).

----

Then ‘A’ arrives one and a half hours late , reckons coming tonight 8pm with CP (College Pimp) and two of her College girls , P3000 all night (one girl). Three times what I like to pay , but I am desperate (that’s obvious) and so invited ‘A’ , CP and the two girls to come at 8pm. Intend to snare CP’s cellphone number , address etc when she calls. Got a feeling ‘A’ can not deliver quality anymore. Passed her ‘use by’ date : )

Before that happens , I tell ‘A’ to send Miss Fellato at 4pm. At P500 (plus P200 tip if good) ST (3hrs) she is good value. Might have Miss Fellato a second time later on in the night if College girls are ‘fakes’ (regular whores). With 30yrs experience I can smell a regular whore 1km away.

I will not be too surprised if both Miss Fellato and the College girls do not front. Not surprised at all.

That Manila babe had sufficient class to text back and apologise (she can see money slipping away from her : ) Miss Classy Face (ex SF Disco) also texed inviting to meet in a couple of days time. Internet Cute is also trying to seduce me via text messages. The Dentist student has also contacted me. Seems if your in town the strike/interest rate is high. The only Internet one I am really interested in is Miss Spunk , alias , d’ Poet (IG.1.). She is entertaining. If I have got time to spare I will meet her tonight. But , on my last night it’s a case of sex first , romance second : )

Miss Fellato arrived and performed to expectations. Good , will not be so desperate when the P3000 girls call : ) All though , if I knock back CP’s first delivery methinks my relationship will be off to a bad start.

No problems , there was no CP delivery. Slack they are slack : )

So here it is 3.33am on the morning I am to check out 9.30am and get to airport , then to Manila , then chance passenger for home.

What happened between 8pm (CP) and 3.33am ?

A lot !

First ‘A’ arrives with apologies re CP non arrival and non delivery of College babes. He brings with him Miss Siam , who is “not supposed to fuck with foreigners anymore” : ) , and her girlfriend. Everything looks sweet , I am taking them to SF Disco , on this my last night. Then there is a misunderstanding. Siams girlfriend seems irked at me not showing interest in her. Seems I am supposed to fuck the girlfriend later on and not ‘Siam’, who’s sister has placed a ban on foreigners. Sorry , I am the one who does the selecting , and Siam it is. Miss Siam has to show allegiance to girlfriend and so the both of them leave the room. I tell ya what , Miss Siam looked great , but I will not be told who I am going to fuck. So , out the door they go.

Stubborn, I am stubborn, looking down the barrel of being alone on my last night.

Farewell ‘A’ . But before doing so summarise the tour in respect of her. Told her the good things she did and the bad things , that is , the things she didn’t do , for example supply me with a Superchick. ‘A’ says , I am coming at the wrong time of the year. If I came in September , Superchicks there are a plenty (another story ?). Her reasoning is , there is too much money floating around November to January , including end of the year bonuses ; Filipinos returning to Phil for Xmas celebrations , tourists etc. Whereas August , September are the ‘poorest’ months of the year, September reaching a peak in that respect. From October , things start picking up and November its all over , opportunity missed (for would be predators like me).

How would I know , I have only been going to Cebu for the last 30yrs ! ? Is this just another piece of bullshit by ‘A’ , an excuse why she did not deliver ? Only way to find out is front in September , right ? Am I fool enough (desperate enough) to do that ? Yes. Will I do it ? Not sure : )

Strange isn’t it , potential Agent ‘T’ in Thailand also told me “September best month”. So , all we need now is a volunteer Monger to travel to those lands during Sept 2005 and report back ! Yes/no ? : )

‘A’ departs , I give her a P500 tip for a job not well done , gotta maintain the relations , regardless of the cost : ).

Got most of my packing done , and then off to SF Disco for a sentimental farewell. Its “Sexy Dancer” night. Arrived about 11.15pm bit late , cause it seems unusually popular this night. Couldn’t get an appropriate seat for a long time. Thoughts of returning home , early etc. Then Waiter I tip P20 for every drink (P80 beer plus P20 tip , hand him a 100 and tell him ‘keep the change’) approaches me. This Waiter , clears a nice Spider and Fly table , elevated above the ‘masses’ and invites me to sit at it. Strange I thought there were people sitting at that table. Obviously they do not tip P20 for every drink : ) ? It pays to have VIP status : )

I order my first beer , everyone is enjoying themselves except me , bit despondent that on my last night I am alone. Then thoughts of the cellphone , take it out of my bag and check , ahaa , text message from IG.1. , alias , Miss Spunk (Internet Girl). Tell her I am at SF Disco , she enquires who with , I reply “ako lang” (only me/by myself). What are you doing there ? “Waiting for you “ was my reply. Then she reminds me , its 12 m/n and she cant escape the boarding house at that time of the night. At least I know now , she is not staying with parents. She is a lonely lamb at a boarding house , good , suitable prospect for Thommo d’ Wolf , methinks : )

The beer is kicking in , starting to relax and get that stupid grin on my face. Some good lookers , very few hookers. Hang in till midnight when Sexy Dancer Comp starts. Line up very good this time , some nice bodies on stage to win the P3000 first prize. I have to decide which one is my target , so I go for number 3 , body hugging blue one piece jump suit. She’s got the body and nothing wrong with her face either : ) She is way out in front , in the ‘body’ department , especially cause she has got the gear that shows every facet of her fabulous body. Her turn comes to dance and cause of the body hugging gear , which leaves nothing to the imagination , the crowd roars with approval as she gyrates around. I get excited , cause I can not fault her physique , she seems perfectly proportioned all over.

There is a female foreigner in the competition also , so the other girls have got no chance for first prize. Filipino Hospitality dictates that foreigner has to be given first prize , regardless of her appearance or dancing ability.

Comp concludes and as usual foreigner wins 1st prize and unfortunately my ‘target’ wins a prize too. She was awarded 2nd prize. It would have been first prize if the foreigner was not there. I am sufficiently drunk now , and do not to care that she has just won P2000 and will not need me (in the short term). I decide I am going to have a go at that body , try and snare her.

So I maintain focus , eyes only for ‘Great Bod’ (GB) (gal in blue). She steps off the stage , waves the P2000 envelope in the air. She is happy and excited. She walks and walks and never stops , straight out the main door. Soos Maria , where has she gone ? Don’t panic Thommo she has gone to present the winners cheque/check to the SF Office and return , methinks. So I swivel my chair around and stare at that door she has just exited. I stare and stare , wait and wait , but she does not return. Then I realise there must have been cash in the envelope and she has gone home !

So I keep drinking , certain that I have just let a great body slip through my web.

Almost one hour later I see a nice body and face pass me on the way to the toilets. She did not see ‘hansum’ me. Try and attract her attention when she returns from the toilet but no luck , she doesn’t see me , again. So I maintain focus , not taking my eyes off her and determine precisely where she sits on the other side of the disco.

It’s my last night at SF Disco , so why not make a fool of myself ? To make sure I do not lose my special table , I order a new beer , it arrives , pour some in glass just to let everyone know , someone is at the table , and then off to the other side of the Disco to my ‘target’ , whom we will call ‘Nice Bod’ (NB).

Luck has it , there is a pillar right next to her table , she is with three other girls , no guy in sight. Good. I lean against the pillar and grin down at her. Fortunately a Waiter appears at that precise moment , looks at me , looks at the girls, I lean forward and hand him my newly printed cellphone tag. He looks at me “which one” written all over his face. A pretty girl next to Nice Bod (NB) looks directly at me , I pick up on this and momentarily look at her , had to decide in a split second which one for the cellphone tag (with my name and smiley on it). She was sitting down , couldn’t see her legs , maybe she is too skinny ? I had seen the body of the other one , and there was nothing wrong with her face either , I indicated …”NB”.

Pretty face’s face dropped immediately , NB and her girlfriends let out with a scream when they realised it was a cellphone approach. Screaming by the girls at SF (and any other ‘party’ atmosphere in the Phil) is standard. Its just part of maintaining a fun atmosphere. So they all screamed (I think including the rejected pretty face gal). I stood there for a while , but no one was looking at me , including NB , so I thought , “oh they just screamed and NB accepted the cellphone tag as just part of the fun for the night”. Decided they were not really interested , so before any real embarrassment I walked off and returned to my table on the other side of the Disco.

Switched on my cellphone and waited for a text call from NB which never came. Not one to be defeated easily , I spot that same Waiter at their table (other side) , then he heads towards the bar and me. I wave to him , he comes to my table and I ask him “do girls want drink”. He goes back there asks them , comes back and says , “girls say join them”.

At this same time who appears but the babe in blue who won sexy dancer prize … great bod/GB. Havent a clue where she has been all this time. I observe where she sits , not far from NB (nice bod) , about 10mtrs of space separates them. So I pull out another of my cellphone tags just printed that day , and whilst on the way to NB stop at Great Bod’s (GB’s) table , but she had already got up and gone onto the dance floor. Spoke to grinning Auntie at her table and told her the cellphone number was for the dancing girl in blue. She nodded approval , I gave it to Auntie , then cheekily proceeded to NB (nice bod) table 10mtrs away and sat down with them. Thought at the time , Auntie would see me do that and so I’d most probably lose GB , but a ‘bird in the hand is worth two in the bush’ : )

‘NB’ is an open book , just about tells me her lifes story in the first 60 secs , including how devoted she is to her Mother since the father deserted the family etc. She enters her cellphone number on my cellphone. A bright chirpy gal with a nice face , including Japanese eyes. I’d already seen the body walking to and fro the toilets , nothing wrong with that either. My kind of body , round , not skinny , certainly not plump/fat. What the Filipinos call “medium”. With a tiny waist (curvaceous : )

The girls at my table were celebrating the birthday of pretty face , the gal I rejected. Became popular with all of the girls , then decided to split , it was about 3.30am (Note : Thailand “no have” , late closures) and I had to finalise packing and leave for the Aiport 9.30am. I did not tell ‘NB’ about my intended departure from the Philippines that day. We split and ‘NB’ texes me straight away. Romance launched : ) When it comes to hooking Filipinas , cellphones are a plus. Get those tags printed fella’s.

How’s that , two nice bodies NB and GB on the same night. But why , only hours before my plane leaves the Philippines ? Six weeks down the track and on my last night I find the two best Filipina bodies and without any contact/agent ! In retrospect , reckon I should have spent less time in my room waiting for a delivery from Agent/contact and more time out and about , handing out cell numbers. But I didn’t buy a cell until fourth week , and that , including cell tags (purchased on last day !) , was at the prompting of Agent .A. , who I have got to thank for this new modus operandi.

In retrospect , I think it was a big plus that I left SF Disco on my own , cause as I passed Auntie of ‘great body’ fame (GB) , she grinned at me. No sign of GB , obviously still on the dance floor . GB loves dancing and showing off that beautiful body of hers : ) If I had passed Auntie with ‘nice body’ (NB) it would have been the end of my prospects with GB , but there is only hours before my plane leaves Manila. Will GB make contact with me before then ? I thought to myself , if GB contacts me before my plane leaves Cebu (for Manila) I will cancel my departure from Cebu/Phil and sink my prick into that lovely snatch of hers.

Hey fella’s I don’t see any other predators in SF Disco approaching the ladies. The guys seem to all stand around expecting the Mountain to come to them. “Seek and destroy” , fella’s , seek and destroy. Approach the babes , all they can do is reject your advances. I actually got the index finger (that is “fuck you”) from one babe on a previous night , and that was only cause I told her she was good looking. Obviously she doesn’t like Americano’s. Yet I come back for more (index fingers : ). Way to go fella’s , way to go.

I am thinking …… Agents/contacts ….. who needs them ?
Right now , not me : )

Arrive home about 4am , to bed 4.30am , up 7am , gotta shower , eat , pack and catch a 9.30am taxi for the12noon flight. To airport , arrive 10.15am to be told my flight delayed until 2.30pm. But ‘cause I am trying to catch an International flight in Manila they put me on the earlier 11.30am flight. Few mins after settling down in Departures Lounge I am informed 11.30 flight is now delayed until 12.30pm : ) Philippine Airlines … PAL ….plane always late : )

Whilst waiting at Cebu Airport , I am thinking , if I get a call from ‘great body’ (GB) I will cancel flight and return to the City (try and retrieve my bags). And/or , if I do not get flight out of Manila tonight , I will return to Cebu to fuck GB. Criminal to leave town now , just when I have the possibility of fucking both GB and NB. Criminal. If for whatever reason I do not leave the Philippines I will stay at a different joint in Cebu and keep away from ‘A’ …. had enough of that circus. GB and NB are the best Filipina babes I have had a chance of bangin’ . Better than anything ‘A’ ever brought to my room , that’s for sure , with the exception of Elena , who has not been sighted for some time (Truck Driver Daddy keeping a close eye on her).

So ‘A’ put the idea of cellphone and tags in my head. A foolish move on her part. Might not need her so much in the future : )

My flight to Manila departs Cebu. Still one more chance in Manila. If I do not get on that flight , its back to Cebu for GB and NB and no Agent ‘A’ (or any other Agents for that matter).

I get to Manila International Departures 2.30pm , see Supervisor , who says “come back 3.30pm and queue at check in counter”. I don’t like the sound of that. Want to be recorded as arriving at airport 2.30pm and be listed as No.1. priority Chance Passenger.

You know I had been wait listed for six weeks. Started out as No.33 on the list , worked my way to Number 2. , but Cebu office of Pal said , “wait list useless , you have to front at the airport with your bags to stand a chance of getting on the flight”. So that’s what I am doing now. I go to the ‘Information Desk’ who says “see Supervisor , she can help”. Didn’t tell him I had already been there.

I use that to my advantage , twisted it around a bit , by going back to Supervisor and saying “that guy says you can help”. In other words , “I am back , not going away , must get on that plane”. Supervisor realises I am not easy to get rid of , stops reading magazine and takes me down to the business class check in counter , rattles off something in the Tagalog language to the guy there and then she departs. After a couple of mins , the guy says “whatya want aisle or window seat”. Crikey , don’t tell me I am on the plane , after six weeks of trying ! ?

He did not give me a Boarding Pass and did not let me check in my bags. Told me to return to check in counter (not his) at 7pm. I now thought I was a 90% chance of flying , but not a 100% chance. I still might bang GB/NB back in Cebu yet . Lord make me miss the plane ! : )

Saun was in the same position as me , but I would shuttle Saun off , let him fly back home and me stay in Philippines if necessary. Let fate take its course. I am a great believer in letting things happen naturally. If I catch the plane good , if I miss the plane I will get an opportunity to bed GB/NB …. can’t lose : )

I am now stuck with two bags plus laptop for four and a half hours. Go to the Airport Restaurant and begin the ‘text wars’. Advise everyone (cell phone) in Cebu I am at Manila Airport and leaving the country. Confirmed with NB what I am doing. She is surprised I did not tell her at Disco that I am leaving Phil next day. Got her email address so that I can continue to ‘romance’ her.

Then to the main target GB (Great Body), Sexy Dancer winner. Received a (cellphone) text from her at Manila Airport , too late , but better late than never. Must get her email address , once 7pm arrives my cellphone will have to be switched off . I text message with her , then receive message “ I am not the girl , I am 33yrs old”. What the hell ! So , I try and explain who I am targeting GB. More messages arrive then the person I am texing says “I am 55yrs old”. Shit , what is happening. The people I am texing are getting older and older. The old babe gives me GB’s name and home phone number , cause GB does not have a cellphone. I send message to old babe to tell GB I will call (not text) her at 6pm.

Get to phone 6pm , ring GB , ask for her by name. Some chick is talking to me for some time , then she says “I am not a girl , I am a man”. Shit , I have been talking to a faggot/gay all this time. I said , are you ……………. (name given to me by old dame). He says , yes , but I am a man , I am the brother of GB. The name given to you is not the gal in blue who won the dance prize , that girls name is ………….. (name with held to ‘protect’). So , GB has a faggot for a brother , that’s most unfortunate. He will get in my hair.

Faggot puts GB on the phone , she talks briefly , then I realise there is no one at the other end of the line. Faggot comes back again and says “………..(GB) is shy , never talk to foreigner before”. So I realise the only way to GB’s fanny is via the Faggot and so I converse with him for a while , including extracting Aunties email address ,cause GB does not have email (or cellphone). Only way to email GB is via Auntie. Told him I would email GB via Aunties email address when I return home to my country. He understands. GB comes back on the phone for a while and I get message across to her , leaving country will email her. She sounds a nice girl …. no cellphone , no email , shy , no experience with foreigners ………. good ……….. lamb to the slaughter : )

Put phone down , join my flights check in queue. Spot on 7pm its my turn to check in , lady tells me to go and see Supervisor , can not check me in. Super’ says come back 7.15pm , but I decide to employ previous tactic with day time Supr (2.30pm) and so I don’t go away , stand right near his counter. 7.15pm came , 7.20 , 7.25 , 7.30pm and still no word from Supervisor. I am thinking ….. looks like I am going to fuck GB : ) 7.35pm Super’ calls me and tells me I’ve got a seat on the plane.

Next day , I arrive home (Clock Tower). Within a couple of hours I email both GB and NB , to keep the romance alive. Will extract their street addresses from them later and send them small gifts. ‘Romantic’ gifts , to keep the relationship alive.

I know , the problem is they will hear ‘wedding bells’ after 2/3 months , but that cannot be avoided. Its so hard to get a good bang nowadays , that I will have to lower my principles and bang girls who think they are going to marry me. I will never promote the idea of marriage with them , but I know from experience “wedding bells” kick in when you linger too long with Filipinas.

Hit and run is best , but I did not have time to hit (fuck) them , and so I will have to put up with meeting the families , romancing the babe etc before banging her , and then the problem of extracting myself from that romance , plus the loss of face for the girl when I do not ‘marry’ her. All this will happen when I return next tour. Life of a Monger was never meant to be easy : )

Great Body (GB) , at this stage comes across as the superior of the two. Not because she has the more beautiful body , but because she is just simply a better person , more innocent , less corrupted. Only problem …. she has a faggot for a brother , and he wants to be in on the act too , that is , wants me to socialise with him too. The price for banging a beautiful body : )

Nice Body (NB) is the one I could have banged within 2/3 days , but alas it was not to be. Need the two of them anyway , one might ‘fall away’ during my long absence from the Philippines.

So at least , I did not return from my tour empty handed. Got two good ones in the pipeline. For sure GB is the best Filipina of the whole tour. In addition , I’ve got cellphone and technique (cell tags) and have proven I can get good ones without frustrating intermediaries (Agents/Contacts). Will still keep ‘A’ and will also continue with Internet fishing. Combination of all three : 1. Myself and cellphone 2. Agents 3. Internet ………. should reap a better harvest than the previous ‘Agent only’ approach.

Overall , it was a good trip with a lot of frustrations along the way. Next time , it will be only four weeks. Three in Philippines , one in Thailand. Also next time , no emails , these Dispatches will be placed live on the website for all to see. Spam/Junk filters will not get in the way : )

Hope you guys learnt something from my Dispatches , viz , “the life of a Monger was not meant to be easy”. Plus ……… shy guys lose , cheeky guys win. Plus ‘Agents/Contacts’ are not the only way of getting babes : )

Another reject of Thommo's ?

Not likely : )

Now , I have to face reality. Back in my home country , no Little Brown Bombers , no SF Disco , no texting on cellphones etc.

Signed …… Private Citizen Thommo

Dishonourably discharged for failing to successfully ‘seek and destroy’ : )

Next trip/dispatch …. Possibly September , at latest , December 2005.

Stay tuned : )

Add :

Since writing the above , I called long distance to the Philippines and spoke personally to Great Body (BD) ; Nice Body (NB) and IG.1. alias ‘Internet Spunk’.

Great Body (GB) is coming across as an especially nice girl.

Requested all the girls addresses for letters , so that I can send each of them a small gift. Part of the bribery/corruption (web of deceit) process : )

Firstly I will send ‘romantic’ $5 gifts , then letters , not emails. Letters are more ‘romantic’ personal , enclosing P100 on each occasion. This keeps lecher Thomas on their mind , so that they do not ‘drift away’ , and fall in love with guys like you : ).

As you know , I made contact with these babes whilst in the Philippines , and so its important that I keep these ‘cookies’ at the right temperature , increasing the temp as I get closer to my next arrival in the Philippines. Will I bang any of them ? Maybe not , but will have some ‘fun’ in trying (challenge : ).

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Agent ‘A’ Philippines and ‘T’ Thailand recommended September as the ‘pussy season’ (girls at their hungriest/neediest). So I am not sure if my next reconnoitre will be Sept or my customary Dec.

Even so , keep an eye on this ‘NEW’ page during 2005 for my progress with my three targeted babes. First priority …. Great Body (GB) , who has got both , a great body and great attitude.

1st March , hopefully I am back to ‘normal’ and publishing ‘NEW’ all over again. But don’t depend on it. Currently I am suffering from ‘Culture Shock’ (Western World Syndrome) and might not return to ‘normal’ in time to publish the 1st March issue.

Stay tuned : )

……………….. T

NEW STRATEGY - NEXT TRIP

An old dog learns new tricks :

1. Get Agent/s to deliver 10am. Allocate 10am - 4pm for Agents 'talent' (daylight saving/fucking : )

2. 4pm onwards , out and about SM , Ayala , Robinsons etc with Cellphone (tags) approach and/or interviewing Internet 'applicants'. That is "hunting" ...... cause 4pm - 8pm most chicks are out and about.

No more wasting the important 4pm - 8pm time slot sitting in my room waiting for Agent/s (frustration).

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SCHEDULE , this page :

I have returned from d' Front (Thailand/Philippines) 'shell shocked' and armed with some New Year resolutions.

From this point on , 'NEW' will be published subject to suitable material being available , that is , on a ad hoc basis.

Will there be a 'NEW' on 1st March ?

Depends , if there is sufficient suitable material to publish.

Check 1st of each new month.

Until Big Ben strikes again

...... Thomas .(back under 'house arrest' , and in the friggin' cold Clock Tower again : )

FISHIN for FUN - 1

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SCHEDULE , this page :

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