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7. "Reconnoitre 2001-2002 Pt.2. - Thailand" by Papa-san Rating this story : boring !

You will find Part.1 of this sojourn , and the beginning of this story/experience , in the Stories Phil - Index (above).

As you will recall in Part.1. I'd spent 12 days of my 105 day sojourn in the Philippines , collecting information for this website but not collecting many maidens. Ran into Agent .1. of days of old and alas he could not deliver. Impatient , I took off for the shores of ever smiling , courteous and charming Thailand. The following is the story of my Thailand experiences:

Exited the plane , hopped into the transit bus for a short trip along the airstrip to the actual terminal itself. Bangkok International Airport makes Manila's look like a Mickey Mouse Show. On the way to the terminal proper and looking out of the bus , I noticed they are making even more improvements/extensions to what already is a top International Airport. And yes , they have plans to build yet another bigger and better Airport at a seperate location. One thing about Thais : 1. They collect taxes 2. They spend on infrastructure. Their roads , public transport etc are superior to the Filipino's. Thais understand if you invest , you reap the harvest later on. Filipino's seem to think more 'short term' , except of course the Ladies , especially when they are in the arms of Thomas , Lover Extraordinaire : )

So out of the transit bus and then its a case of 'follow the leader' to the huge number of immigration check points and the stern immigration officers. Thailand is the Land of Smiles, but not so the Immigration Officers who take their duties seriously , and thus no smiles. Why is this so ?

Firstly Thais are more disciplined and obedient. Filipino's more carefree by comparison. If a Thai has been taught to do something in a certain way , mostly they will do it that way. Filipino's wander from the path and start doing it 'their' way , after time , and their way is not necessarily the correct way. So the Thai Immigration Officer is serious about checking your Passport and the info they might have on the Computer. That is , are you on the hit list as a suspected drug trafficker or violater of some kind ? Imagine the 'loss of face' for a Thai Immi Official if he let through a 'wanted' person. Shame eternal shame.

Another reason , Thais are more patriotic/nationalistic and thus do not want to allow unsavoury persons into their country.

Finally , they suffer from a little touch of xenophobia , ie they like Thais and only Thais. Foreigners are way down on their wish list , and so no smiles : ) As most of you know , the Thais are extremely polite towards foreign visitors - one of the reasons the country is so successful in attracting a humungous number of tourists.

So is it fake when Thai gals and others smile at us ? Not really - smiling is them , its the way they are , so too being courteous. It springs from their religion (Buddhism) and culture . They do not want confrontation or loss of face , hence the smiles and courtiesnous. But if they could make money without tourists and whorists I suspect they would. Income from tourism (and whorism) I think ranks number two or three at the least in the Thai economy, so they make sure their Airport works etc , but still can not get those Immigration lads to smile : ).

The Immigration Officers (exclusively male , if I remember rightly) wont even smile at a gorgeous falang/foreign woman. Take their job seriously.

It doesn't concern me that they do not smile , cause I know , not far from them , the smiling begins. Down the stairway/escalator , to the Carousels, everything spotlessly clean , spacious and logically laid out.

I have my own little technique with Carousels. If I have arrived at the carousel before the bags have been offloaded from the plane , an occurrence more likely to happen in the Philippines , I have a look at the rubber mats on the carousel and see which way they are pointing. From this , I know which way the carousel will be rotating and head for the portal , ie , opening in the wall where the first bags will appear and grab mine without waiting for it to do the slow crawl around to the other side. It amuses me sometimes when I see folk standing at the wrong end/portal. Once again , an example of my impatience. Lots of folks dont care how long it takes to pick up their luggage.

My bag is not normally hard to identify cause its always been a backpack - Berghaus and blue. This time I had left the Berghaus at home and brought a suitcase on wheels for a trial run , cause my Berghaus was now 16 years old , grubby and worse for wear , having travelled many thousands of kilometres around the world with me. One word of advice - don't leave a good friend behind, bring him along with you. Grubby and worse for wear my Berghaus it is , it still proved to be superior to the suitcase.

Backpacks leave the hands free , the back takes the weight , not the arm etc. Backpack on back , carry on bag in one hand , one hand/arm free. So , the suitcase duly appears , grab it , and head for the No Declare Exits. Once again no smiles. Out the Customs exit door to the Arrivals Hall proper , where there were small crowds around a barrier waiting for loved ones (including walking ATM's :) returning to Thailand.

This trip is supposed to be a fact finding , not a fuck finding tour. So I had a list of things to check out whilst inside the Arrivals Hall. So , I swing around to my right and start checking out the location of points like Thai Tourism , Banks for Exchange etc etc. Technique - look at questions eg for Bank Exhange on note book , hit them ask questions , then back off write down brief notes re answers , then hit second one , eg Thai Tourism , same routine . On and on , staying inside the Arrivals Terminal until I had completed my hit list . I was conscious of the fact that people , including officials were wondering what the hell I was doing. Couldn't very well tell them I was collecting info for a sex website , so had fake calling cards with fake .com addresses etc printed in the Philippines just in case.

Once I had collected the necessary information inside the Terminal , I headed outside to collect info on the Taxi Booth and Bus Booth , both outside on the footpath. Girls at the bus booth were particularly smiley and helpful and asked me why I was writing down the information . I said I am writing a book for Tourists (not whorists : ) Little did they know that they were staring at a sex predator extraordinaire with a long track record of defiling Thai Maidens : ) Thai Maidens of the LON variety ie.

So, the inter airport Shuttle Bus arrived and I hopped on it heading for the Domestic Terminal. Once out of the bus I entered the Domestic Departures terminal and turned sharp left. Done this routine so may times , I could do it blindfolded. Sharp left is the Thai Domestic Tickets counter. As usual , no probs in catching a connecting flight to Chiangmai and it's leaving most appropriately in only 30 mins time , couldnt ask for better. Over to check-in then straight on to Departures and within a very short time , an announcement to board the plane. Everything is going to plan.

Some readers might ask . Why head for Chiangmai , why not taste the much bigger sex scene in Bangkok ?. Well , as alluded to elsewhere , I like the 'provinical' atmosphere of big/small towns in preference to the big city attitudes of places like Bangkok (and Manila/Rio for that matter) . As Confuscius (Thomas) says : "small enough to be provincial , big enough to be sinful" (patent pending).

On the flight to Chiangmai , usual little cardboard box of 'snacks' that have never tempted me. As usual the guy next to me saved his to give to his family on arrival. Offered my unopened box to him which he gratefully accepted. Seems giving those little boxes of kai kai (PNG language for 'food') to folk is a thrill for them. Of course , he could not refuse my offer , could he - 'loss of face' : )

Touch down and standard walk across hot tarmac to Arrivals. Follow the leader once again. Quite often I sit in the plane until the 'stampede' for the front door has expired , then get up and out of my seat. Can see no reason to rush onto a plane that I have a seat for and no reason to rush out of one on arrival. So, to the small Carousel which was crowded. I headed for the incoming portal , grabbed my suitcase and out the exit door to the Arrivals Hall proper once again pulling out my notebook , running through the checklist , asking questions, writing down notes which eventually ended up on this website (Chiangmai - Facts).

I knew there was a cheaper way to Mai (Chiangmai) Central than the limousine , but was impatient to get to my lodgings , so took the Limo. Made a mistake , and let a driver take the piece of paper out of my hand and direct me to his car. Could have been anybody , ie , not employed by the Limo Co'y and take me to a back alley and be robbed of all my belongings. But this was Thailand and provincial Chiangmai , so no worries , went with the flow and followed him to his car. No doubt he was jumping the queue, cause the lady who outstretched her hand to take my bit of paper had the job of giving the bit of paper to the correct driver , ie the first driver on the rank. The fact that we walked quite some distance to the guys car proved to me he was a queue jumper. Dont like em. A slightly bad feeling on arrival. But hey this is a whore tour. I left home for the LON's , stay focused Thomas , good times are a cummin.

Little Home Guest House (Pronounced by the Thais : "Little Home Ge How"). I find the Thais pronunciation of Ge How quite amusing and thus love to throw it back at them. At the Airport I told them : "Little Home Ge How" , and the lady repeated back : "Little Home Ge How" . .....Love it : )

Before leaving on this trip I did a big research of accommodation Chiangmai from Lonely Planet , in the hopes of finding new budget sex destinations. From the description in Lonely Planet , "Little Home" looked like my kind of place : balcony , dutch management , gardens , excellent location , very modest tariff. But was it a LON destination ? Time would tell. Well, folks , if it's in Lonely Planet of course its more than likely a Backbackers Heaven and is chockers/fully occupied.

Even so , I managed to get a side room , not one with a balcony. Had a look at the balcony ones, disappointing tiny little narrow balconies. Imagined a teak wood building , but it was bricks and mortar. Another negative - The open air (no walls) restaurant/meeting place was in an ideal position to watch all and sundry including folks entering and leaving with their LON's. Young puritanical/greeny backpackers watching my every move - no thanks. ADDENDUM : Forgot to mention. In the toilet there was a sign , which I took a photo of , but it did not come out good. It read : "Please do not put Sanitary Napkins or Toilet Paper in the Toilet". As there was no trash can/waste basket anywhere in the bathroom where were you supposed to put it ? In your pocket ! ? : ). And , until I asked for it , there was no toilet paper. So the message was - do it the Asian way : wipe it off your ass with your left hand and then hop in and have a shower. Mmmmm , sorry , too foreign to me. That is why you should never pass anything to a Thai with your left hand , cause that is the no paper toilet hand , ha ha , now you know , if you did not know before. Theoretically you pass something with both hands. The left hand being underneath as a support hand only . Never with the left hand only , anyway. If you do , he might exclaim : "shite what is this" : )

So one night there and out and to Roon Ruang Hotel , also recommended in Lonely Planet . This one was true to description and I did not make the mistake of checking in first and finding out if it was suitable for LON's second. Cased the joint a bit and came to the conclusion it should be ok , also asked the smiley Manager , named - Moo , "any problem in bringing girls back to my room" . He replied , smiling all the way : " no problem for us , but maybe problem for you" . Good one, I liked it.

What he meant was , if your inexperienced , you might wake up next morning minus some of your valuables and that is no problem of ours (Management). Details of Roon Ruang in Chiangmai - Basics notes.

So, accommodation fixed , next one - Restaurant. Tried out my old time favourite (mid 1980's) Bier Stube the night before and enjoyed their small sized meals all over again. Find I order 2/3 meals at Bier Stube to get my fill. Good cooking , nice ambience , but the punters of old were not there and thus it was just not the same. "Tip" Owner/Manager (woman) was of course still there and ever smiley. Still very good looking (my taste) and with one or two children nowadays. She first worked as a waitress in Bangkok for a German , then returned to Chiangmai from whence she originally came (?) and started Bier Stube , having learnt what Germans/Foreigners wanted during her time in Bangkok. She proved to be a very capable business person/manager. Add to that her good looks and the punters flocked to her Restaurant.

I should mention there is more than one Bier Stube in the North of Thailand nowadays.

I made a comment to Tip that her place wasn't the same , and she replied with words to the effect : "Old Waitresses and Old Customers". I quickly quipped in : "and old prices". She had maintained her old prices to hold on to her business , which was now facing fierce competition , as Mai grew as a tourist destination.

I sat out at the front of Stube on the wooden bench seats drank my favourite Klosters , reminisced about how I sat there in days of yore and waited for a fly to fall into my web . Wasn't to be , it just wasnt the same without my fellow punters inside Stube to fall back on. I was all alone out the front and knew nobody inside Stube (dining) and no fly passed by , so I just moved on to continue my survey of Restaurants for this website.

Following tips in Lonely Planet I was led astray by Restaurants that had already closed down. Happens to the best of publications. However , I did run into one NOT mentioned in Lonely Planet which turned out to be the best for my purposes - 'True Blue'. See Chiangmai Basics notes for details.

The place was run by a Brit and a Brit Breakfast IS a breakfast and how , especially at True Blue. Big servings. John the Manager was excellent , always hovering around to make sure customers got what they wanted - good food and good service. So, I never returned to Bier Stube once I had tasted True Blue.

Apart from True Blue I took notes of other places which were suitable for monger munching.

I went hither and thither , sometimes backtracking over the same tracks. The Massage Parlours were covered by either hired motorbike , Samlor or Tuk Tuk , as they are some distance from the heart of Mai's Nightlife.

I have never been one for Massage Parlours. Reckon the money you pay for the short time you are with the Ladies does not represent value. There was an exception at Pandoras MP. Spotted 2/3 Movie Stars , outstanding Ladies. As I have a prejudice against MP's and didnt have my camera inside my 'day bag' (tranny/katoey : ) I did not partake of Miss Movie Star on that particular trip. Complicating things was the fact that I had arrive via the Samlor driver and knew the price would be inflated to cover his 'taxi' commission. So, I decided to backtrack another day on my hired motorbike with camera and get some shots of the movie star , in addition to the sex. She'd make a great image for this website. Did return a few days later on the bike , with camera secreted away in day bag , but alas the 'Movie Star' was not around. The old story - a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Prices were way down too, now that I was minus the Samlor driver. Papa-san said the 'Movie Star' was on holidays. Most probably meaning a wealthy Bangkok Thai has bar fined her for his entire vacation. Asians know , if you keep the same woman , the sex can only get better : ) Butterfly's like me sometimes miss out on this aspect.

Other Massage Parlours were a mixed bag. Took the necessary notes then and there , outside the building whilst the prices etc were fresh in my mind. This disturbed Thais in my presence ,eg Tuk Tuk driver or whoever. Taking notes that is. Curiosity - why is he taking notes ? Is he from the media and going to write up a nasty column in a International Newspaper or whatever , defaming our beloved Thailand ? : )

Once I had covered the Massage scene I ventured to the "Vegas area , which was rather interesting , in particular 'Pub Karaoke' who had some 'honeys' in their employ. It was more of a Lounge than a Karaoke. Fortunately no body 'warbling' during my 3/4 visits. Decided on a certain good looker with a non pro look about her , but going on the drinks prices didn't bother to ask how much to take her out. Eventually I found out she is not a take out girl anyway. So , I thought if I can get her to my room at Roon Ruang I would be in with a chance of a girl friend hokey pokey romance. Her English was almost non existent and my Thai is limited , but I managed to make a secret arrangement for her to call at my room the next day. Having groped her to excess and her likewise me , in a dark corner of the 'Pub' , I thought in the privacy of my room I could enjoy some additional delights.

Next day , the hour came and she did not front , then a phone call from her enquiring why I wanted her to come to my room. She knew it was for sex and couldn't cross the line. After putting down the phone I thought I had convinced her to call to my room and waited another 45 mins , but she did not front. Decided not to return to the 'Pub' , she was a 'Drinks Lady' , not a poke. If my Thai vocabulary had been better , reckon I could have got her to cross the line. She didnt want sex so soon , she wanted a relationship then the sex would follow as night does day. You can't have a relationship without the language , so I shelved that project. Teaches me for not carrying on with my Thai language lessons , but when you are absent for a year to four years at a time (nowadays) it does not help to learn a language. Resident guys learn the language and get the better 'merchandise' , ie , not regular LON's ,ie , with some heart and passion. Lots of regular LON's have lost both.

I was never tempted at the small number of Mai Go-Go's I visited for note taking (website) purposes. They were a novelty for me for the first 12 years or so of my whoring career. I have not barfined a Go-Go girl for many years now. Have seen just as good bodies with better attitude and sex capabilities elsewhere , away from regular LON venues , such as the Go-Go's/Beer Bars etc. To my mind nowadays , the Go-Go girls are too public. When looking at them , I imagine all the other 'dogs' who have mounted them : ).

This reminds me of a little story back in the Philippines. Young guy was with me at the St Moritz Go-Go in the Philippines , around the 1986 - 90 period. We were perving on the bodies of the young girls and my companion , who had a very pretty Filipina girl friend/fiancee (non whore) was contemplating bar fining one of the Go-Go bodies. I couldn't see how he would even consider the one he had his eye on , considering what he had back at the Hotel waiting for him , and said : " imagine , she (Go-Go girl he was perving on) has been in the trade now about five years , averaging at least two guys a week every week , that means she has slept with about 500 different guys". His jaw dropped and said : "you have spoiled it , I was just going to bar fine her". Ha ha .

Confuscious (Thomas) says : "The older you get , the fresher you want them" . Cause I am not fresh any more , I want what I have not got - freshness. Cause I have slept with hundreds I want someone who has not slept with hundreds. We always want what we have not got , and I have not got youth , so I like the 22 - 25 year olds with low mileage , and you do not normally find them at a Go-Go Bar : )

So back to Chiangmai (Mai) and the night scene. Covered the obligatory Go-Go's and visited a lot of Beer Bars, chatting up the chicks , buying the occasional Ladies Drink and gathering information. I know the Beer Bar girls routine so well , I can almost predict what the girl is going to say next. Naturally, as English is not their first language they concentrate on learning the beer bar talk and sex talk. So they do not venture beyond their vocabulary and thus things are predictable. Nowadays they come across similarly to Go-Go girls , ie too public , not at all special. Although I did meet an exception, in the street that used to house the 'Bamboo Brothels' as I am accustomed to calling them.

Met a little ripper there , and took photo's of her. Have hesitated time and again whether or not I should post her photo on this website but have decided not to on the basis : 1. she would not like it 2. I plan returning to that spot again on my next trip. If she found out she was posted on a sex site and I walked into her den again I am sure the reception would not be to my liking. She was good looking (eye of the beholder) and had a non LON attitude , behaviour. The joint was geared for Thais, maybe a mud floor , sparse cheap furniture but most importantly darkened lights and a corner spot where I led her hand down into my trousers. She fondled like the best and I blew my bolt on more than one occasion. The beer was cheap , including her Ladies drinks. And yes, she was not of the take out variety , and yes I tried to co-erce her into calling to my room , but alas mission impossible. Called and romanced her two times but she fell into the Ladies Drink category and not poke category , thus did not call a third time. With patience I could have got her , as with the 'Pub' girl , but I just do not have the patience for such matters nowadays and so dropped this 'project' as well.

Once I had covered the nightlife and daylife (Restaurants , Hotels) and finalised my hand written web notes I was out of there , as Chiangrai (Rai) beckoned. Although I should mention that I met a guy from Sri Lanka at my accommodation - Roon Ruang (Chiangmai) and helped him locate a 'naughty' , directing him to Spotlight Go-Go Bar. He was so impressed with my knowledge of Mai and mongering in general he said he might follow me to Rai , and follow me he did. He forms part of my Rai story.

Think we will call the Rai story Pt.3. , so I can park my pen for a while and attend to other important duties such as pedalling my mountain bike , domestic chores etc.

"Reconnoitre 2001-2002 Pt.3. - Chiangrai" ..... Get it via Stories Thai - Index , below.

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